Time After Time

by Hannah McKinnon

  ‘Don’t!’ She jumped to one side and pushed his hand away.

  George chuckled. ‘Making me work for it, eh?’ He stepped aside and she slipped past him and into the hall.

  ‘I’ll call you on Tuesday,’ he said quietly. ‘We’ll get together and … and I’ll do it to you again.’ He disappeared into the bathroom and Hayley shuddered.

  No you won’t! God, I need a stiff one. Argh. I mean a stiff drink.

  As she made her way back to the reception room, the ginger pony-tailed waiter stopped in front of her, putting a hand behind his back. He held out his tray. ‘Champagne?’

  ‘I need something stronger than that,’ she said.

  ‘What can I get you? Martini? Scotch?’

  ‘I’ll have a gin and tonic,’ she said, almost licking her lips in anticipation.

  ‘Certainly, Miss.’

  ‘Actually,’ she grabbed his starched, white sleeve, ‘Why don’t you make it a double?’

  The waiter returned within minutes, carrying a full tumbler. Hayley took a big gulp and then several more, almost draining the glass. It warmed her belly and her hands stopped shaking. She watched from a distance as more guests arrived and gave each other air kisses. They were all so smart – the women in spectacular cocktail dresses, each one more elegant than the next, and the men dressed in expertly tailored suits. She smiled.

  I’d be more comfortable at home with Rick and the kids in my tracksuit bottoms. Rick …

  Ian appeared beside her. ‘I presume that’s ice water?’ he whispered tersely.

  ‘Gin and tonic,’ she said, taking a last sip and crunching a piece of ice with her teeth. ‘I’m having rough day.’

  ‘I suppose every day is rough? Restrain yourself. The golf club gala was bad enough. Rumours are spreading.’ He glared at her. ‘You’ll sit next to me and that,’ he pointed at her glass, ‘will be your only one. I’m sure you already had enough this morning.’ He walked away without waiting for a response.

  Sod him. I haven’t had a gin and tonic in months.

  She smiled as she recalled how Ellen recently complained about them becoming such lightweights or ‘cheap dates’ since they’d had kids.

  When she put her empty glass on a vintage, oak sideboard, the pony-tailed waiter immediately replaced it with a fresh one, setting it on a monogramed coaster he took out of his waistcoat pocket. Hayley took another gulp, then rummaged in her bag looking for the mobile. She typed in her usual password JOHNNY4H, not in the least surprised when it unlocked the phone, and selected Ellen and Mark’s home number from the list of contacts.

  ‘Hello?’ a male voice said.

  ‘Mark, thank goodness.’

  ‘Hayley? Is that you? Wow.’ He stopped. ‘It’s … well … it’s good to hear from you. We just got back from –’

  ‘Greece.’

  ‘Hah, I wish. No, we were at the pet shop.’

  ‘The pet shop? What … anyway, is Ellen there?’

  Hayley heard Mark put his hand over the receiver and call Ellen. It seemed to take ages for her to finally get to the phone and when she did, her tone could have instantly frozen George Fitzpatrick’s smouldering loins.

  ‘Hayley.’

  Hayley frowned. ‘Um, hi. I need to come over.’

  ‘When?’

  ‘Today. Now. I really need to see you.’

  Ellen sniffed. ‘I suppose so. Come over whenever.’ The line went dead.

  Hayley frowned again as she put the phone back in her bag. Then she walked in the direction the waiter had gone to get her drink and found herself in the hot and noisy kitchen. Catering staff squeezed past her, carrying plates of dainty-looking amuse-bouche and canapés. Hayley’s stomach grumbled as she eyed the puff-pastry treats.

  ‘Lost your way, Miss?’ one of the men called over to her. His apron, stretched over an ample midriff, announced in large red letters, Never Trust A Skinny Chef.

  ‘Yes,’ Hayley lied. ‘I was wondering if I could go out the back for a sneaky cigarette.’

  ‘Side door is through the hall there, Miss.’ He pointed to his right. ‘Make sure you close it when you go out though, or Mrs. Fitzpatrick will have me served for lunch.’ He winked at her.

  Hayley slipped out and welcomed the cool air as she looked around the immaculately manicured garden, complete with miniature fountain and expertly pruned rose bushes.

  She was already getting a serious case of the goose bumps. Her coat was inside and it would get colder soon, but she didn’t have time to care – at least she had her bag. Making sure she ducked whenever she passed a window, she slipped around to the front of the end-of-terrace house where she turned right, hitched up her dress and broke into as much of a jog as her Louboutin’s would allow. After a few hundred feet she caught sight of a taxi, waved it down and jumped in, thankful for its warmth and pine-fresh scent.

  ‘Where to, love?’ said the driver.

  As Hayley gave him Ellen’s address it occurred to her that she might not have any money, so she pulled the purse out of her bag. Inside it were two platinum credit cards in her name and a large wad of cash. Hayley wondered if she should take Ellen on a spending splurge at Harrods.

  Her mobile phone rang and Hayley pulled it out of her bag.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Hayley.’ The voice was deep and husky, breathless, almost.

  ‘Sorry, who’s this?’

  He laughed. ‘Justin.’

  ‘Oh, er, I –’

  ‘I know you said you were busy this weekend. But I wanted to tell you that I can’t wait for our next session.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘Yeah. My glutes are still sore from last time.’ He paused. ‘Really sore.’

  Hayley scratched her head, pondering what an adequate response would be. She plumped for, ‘I, uh, I’m sorry?’

  ‘Oh, I’m not.’ He laughed again. ‘Now, tell me what you’re wearing, you dirty little bitch.’

  What? Oh come on!

  ‘You want to know what I’m wearing?’

  ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘Oh baby, you know it drives me crazy.’

  Hayley smirked. ‘Granny knickers and a boiler suit.’ She laughed as she hung up but the phone rang again. When she saw Ian’s name on the screen she switched it to silent.

  ‘Looks like you’ve done a runner,’ the driver said as he glanced at her, his round face taking up the entire rear-view mirror.

  Hayley noticed his smile and grinned at him. Then she sat back in the seat and exhaled, shaking her head. ‘You don’t know the half of it, mate.’

  CHAPTER 21

  1995

  Moving on Up

  ‘Are you sure about this?’ Ellen asked. ‘Are you really sure?’

  Almost eighteen months after Hayley had started seeing Ian, Ellen stood in Hayley’s bedroom, helping her pack. Ellen had taken charge of folding blouses and T-shirts while Hayley attacked her out-of-control underwear drawer.

  ‘Yes. I love him.’ Hayley stuffed her socks into the suitcase.

  ‘But it’s so far away. I’ll never get to see you.’

  ‘It’s only Edinburgh and I’ll be back. And maybe you’ll come and visit? When Ian’s away?’ Hayley walked across the room and squeezed Ellen. ‘Besides, with Mark moving in you’ll be glad to see the back of me.’

  ‘But I don’t want you to go.’

  It had all happened rather suddenly, only a month before, as Ian and Hayley were having dinner at his Westminster apartment. She’d been trying to stay lady-like and eat daintily rather than stuff her face with the luscious Chateaubriand, when he put his knife and fork down.

  ‘I’m moving back to Edinburgh,’ he said.

  ‘What?’ Hayley said with her mouthful. She swallowed quickly. ‘When?’

  He held up a hand. ‘Don’t choke. I’m not breaking up with you. You can come with me, if you want.’

  ‘What? Live together? Yes, yes please.’

  Hayley hadn’t thought twice about going, but Ellen didn’t agree wi
th her plans.

  ‘I still can’t believe you forgave him for cheating on you, you know,’ Ellen said as she folded Hayley’s favourite black and white striped T-shirt.

  Hayley puffed out her cheeks and rolled her eyes. ‘Oh come on. We’ve been through this a thousand times. It was ages ago. We weren’t even together so technically he did nothing wrong.’

  ‘What? He stood you up then lied about his flight being delayed.’

  Hayley looked away. ‘But he told me eventually. He took me to Paris to make up for it.’

  Ellen shook her head. ‘He only told you because his lies tripped him up. And you still believe it was a woman in the car?’

  ‘Yes,’ she looked back at Ellen, raising her chin. ‘He said she had short hair.’

  ‘Pfff. Whatever,’ Ellen said. ‘And anyway, how does a weekend in Paris make up for cheating? How do you know it hasn’t happened since?’ She pouted.

  ‘He promised. He’s good to me.’

  Ellen harrumphed. ‘Like the time you fell and cut your head at the golf club?’

  Hayley squirmed. Ellen had got out the big guns.

  ‘I was fine. It was barely a scratch.’

  ‘No you weren’t and you know it. He made you sit in the restaurant for two hours until he finished his round of golf.’

  ‘Well –’

  ‘You wouldn’t have that scar on your forehead if he’d taken you to casualty right away, the doctor said so.’

  ‘Don’t do this, Ellen,’ she said. ‘Please. I’m so tired of defending everything he does or doesn’t do. I know you’ve never liked him. Neither has Mark.’

  Ellen snorted. ‘I’m pretty sure the feeling’s mutual.’

  Hayley couldn’t deny it. ‘They’re not my type of people,’ Ian had said after the one and only time the four of them had been out to dinner. Their feelings hadn’t changed and Hayley felt trapped – stuck in the middle of a fifty-foot-high tightrope wearing four-inch heels. She loved Ellen and Mark, but she loved Ian too. He was sophisticated, well-read and intelligent. He challenged the way she thought and she’d started to do the same to him, pleased when she saw the approval in his eyes.

  ‘Look,’ she said as she zipped up her suitcase, ‘I get that you may feel jealous, and –’

  ‘Wait,’ Ellen frowned and stopped folding a blouse. ‘You think I’m jealous?’

  ‘Yes,’ Hayley answered quietly. ‘As a matter of fact, I do.’

  ‘How so?’

  ‘Because he’s rich.’ Hayley’s answers tumbled out before she could stop them. ‘Because our relationship’s exciting. Because we’re moving forward quickly and you and Mark aren’t.’

  ‘You’re talking total bollocks,’ Ellen said icily and she threw the badly folded blouse into the suitcase.

  ‘I’m sor–’

  Ellen held up a hand. ‘Am I jealous of you going to different cities? Yes. Going to expensive restaurants? Sometimes. But of your relationship with Ian? Not a chance.’

  Hayley bristled. ‘Well, I don’t believe you.’

  Ellen shrugged. ‘Suit yourself. Mark may not be a millionaire but he cares about me. And for the record, he wanted us to move in with each other and start trying for a baby last year, but I said no because I live with you.’

  ‘Ellen, listen, I –’

  ‘You know what’s going on here?’ Ellen put her hands on her hips.

  Hayley felt a rush of anger. ‘Oh, I’m sure you’ll tell me.’

  Ellen stared at her for a second. ‘You’re losing sight of what’s important. In fact, you’ve changed a lot since you met him.’

  Hayley hated how Ellen had emphasised him, as if the word was leaving a bad taste in her mouth. ‘Only for the better,’ she said primly as she straightened her back. ‘What’s wrong with that?’

  Ellen sighed and fished the blouse out of the suitcase again, attempting to fold it properly. ‘Look … don’t take this the wrong way but …’

  Hayley braced herself for another cutting comment about Ian. Instead, Ellen said, ‘Frankly you’ve become a bit of a snob.’

  ‘What? I have not!’

  ‘You have,’ Ellen said.

  ‘How so?’ Hayley said. ‘Go on. Out with it.’

  ‘Fine,’ Ellen snapped. ‘You turn your nose up at going clubbing and at the chippy –’

  ‘Well, I –’

  ‘And you think shopping on the High Street is beneath you. But you can’t afford that kind of lifestyle unless –’

  ‘But –’

  Ellen held up her hand again. ‘Unless Ian pays for it. He only wants to see you when it’s convenient for him. You to go to all these stuffy business functions. You’re no fun anymore.’ Ellen paused for breath. ‘You’re not you anymore.’

  ‘I am!’

  ‘And you’ve been seeing him for almost a year and a half, but you still haven’t met any of his family. Don’t you think that’s strange?’

  ‘No. They live in Scotland and he doesn’t get along with them and –’

  ‘And he didn’t go to Jackie and Ray’s wedding last month. Did he really work or was it because they had the reception at a pub? Did Mr. High-and-Mighty think it was beneath him?’

  ‘That’s enough, Ellen.’

  ‘No. You asked so you hear me out. You’re giving up a great job and moving to Edinburgh because His Lordship snapped his fingers. What happened to your dreams of working abroad? What about being independent? All that talk about supporting yourself. I don’t get it.’

  ‘Stop it!’ Hayley shouted. ‘Clearly you don’t get it. I love him.’

  ‘And does he love you?’ Ellen raised her eyebrows and Hayley’s face fell. ‘He still hasn’t said it, has he?’

  ‘It doesn’t come easily to him, that’s all. He wouldn’t ask me to move in with him if he didn’t, would he?’ Hayley said, but Ellen had hit a nerve. More anger bubbled to the surface. ‘You know what? You didn’t approve of Chris and you’ve never liked Ian.’

  ‘Only because I see him for what he is.’

  ‘Well then you won’t miss us, will you?’ said Hayley. ‘If you’re not jealous of the money or the relationship then all I can think of is that you don’t want me to be happy.’

  ‘Eh?’ Ellen gave her an award-worthy puzzled look and flicked her hair. ‘That’s crazy.’

  ‘Is it? Maybe you can’t stand the thought of me not being around for you and clearing up after you. And for that matter, put the lid back on the sodding toothpaste, Ellen.’

  ‘Fuck off.’

  They glared at each other, as if getting ready to fight it out, handbags at dawn.

  Hayley spoke first. ‘I’ll pack the rest of my stuff on my own and then I’m going to say goodbye to Mum, Dad and Jackie. On my own.’

  ‘Fine. If that’s what you want.’

  ‘It is.’

  ‘Well bollocks to it Hayley,’ Ellen said. ‘I don’t want any part in this. I’m going to help Mark pack and I’ll stay over.’ She turned and walked out of the room.

  Hayley heard her pick up her bag and keys, then the front door opened and closed and the flat fell silent. She balled her fists, certain steam was coming out of her nose and ears. It wasn’t fair, it really wasn’t. Ellen was being unreasonable – a complete cow, even. Why couldn’t she just be happy for her? Why couldn’t anybody?

  Hayley hadn’t seen her parents much over the past year. Ian often arranged concerts or museum tickets and city trips on weekends. How could she say no to those? Besides, she could feel their disapproval, even if they were discreet about it.

  ‘You’re giving up a lot, Hayley,’ her dad had said on the phone one day. ‘You’re a solicitor now with a promising career. Even Ronald asked you to reconsider.’

  ‘There are solicitors in Edinburgh too, Dad,’ Hayley said. ‘I’ll find something. Ian’s going to introduce me to people.’ Hayley hadn’t had the courage to ask her mum what she really thought – her silence was a bold enough statement – and she couldn’t face another person t
elling her to think about the consequences.

  Ellen didn’t show up the next morning to say goodbye. Hayley and Ian loaded her three boxes and two suitcases into his car and then she went back inside the flat on her own. She stood in the living room, silently looking around, saying a quiet goodbye to another chapter in her life. Mark would soon live there instead of her, and he and Ellen would probably have a baby. And they’d do just fine without her. Maybe they wouldn’t even notice she was gone.

  The noise of Ian beeping the horn stopped her reminiscing. When Hayley pushed the keys back through the letterbox, they landed on the floor mat with a definitive metallic clunk.

  Hayley watched the city turn to countryside on the drive to Edinburgh, thinking that being far away from everyone would offer her some badly needed blue skies and new horizons. As she hummed along to Take That’s Back for Good, Ian reached over and switched off the radio.

  ‘I hate boy bands,’ he said. ‘They’re pathetic.’

  Hayley swallowed. She didn’t dare argue that Take That was one of her favourite bands and that she considered Robbie Williams a god. There was no way she could have Ian think she was a child – that wouldn’t do at all. No. They were moving in together, their relationship was evolving into something more meaningful and mature. Never mind what anybody else thought.

  She looked at Ian and smiled as he put a hand on her leg.

  By this time next year I’ll have an even better job in Edinburgh and a ring on my finger.

  She squeezed his hand.

  Yes. I’ll show them. I’ll prove them all wrong.

  CHAPTER 22

  Nothing But The Truth

  When Hayley rang Ellen and Mark’s doorbell she listened for the familiar sound of Morgan’s little feet pitter-pattering on the hardwood floor, but she heard nothing, not even Morgan the dog’s bark. She didn’t have much time to wonder what other oddities awaited on the other side of the door because Mark opened it, one arm already in his leather jacket.

  ‘Hey, you,’ he said. Hayley breathed a sigh of relief. At least Mark seemed to be his normal, curly-haired, friendly self. But then he lowered his voice to a whisper. ‘Ellen told me to go for a walk. Make that a long walk.’