The Only Essence (The White Dragon Book 1)

by Mia Hawkins

  “There has never been anyone in this type of situation. What if there is some way to block her bond with him? Neither of them wants it anyway,” Chaice says.

  Matthew looks over at him and says, “That could work. We’ll have to talk to Theo and see what he can do. Until then, she needs to stay with one of us at all times.” Matthew is talking about me like I am not even here, and I don’t like it.

  “Ummm, she is sitting right here and has no problem defending herself. She doesn’t need any of you to protect her,” I say pointedly, making sure to look at each of them.

  “We know you can protect yourself, but we know people like Xavier. You could take him on your own, but he would be ready for that. He would have something up his sleeve that would incapacitate you. The fae are tricky and don’t fight fair. That’s why we need to stick together. If he does decide to try to take you, we will be ready.” Matthew looks over at me and gives me a drop-dead gorgeous smile. Now that I think about it, this is the first time I have actually seen him smile. His brother gives out smiles like they are candy, but Matthew is more reserved.

  “Well, nothing is going to happen tonight, so why don’t we all get some dinner and watch a movie?” I say to no one in particular as I smile back at Matthew.

  They all nod in agreement, and as they get up, I take the time to appreciate each of them. They started out against me, but somehow, they changed sides and are now trying to help me. I know they are part of the reason I am in this mess, but I also know I would never have found out all this information about myself without their help. I know deep down that this is where I am supposed to be—at least for the next three days—though my heart constricts at the thought of leaving them.

  I follow them as we head to the kitchen, and then I watch them do their magic, which consists of them throwing a bunch of different snacks on a platter. Once they are satisfied that we won’t run out of choices, they lead the way to a bedroom I have never been in before. As soon as I walk in, I know it is Matthew’s room because I can smell the cinnamon and pine that I recognize as his scent. Even if I couldn’t smell him all over this room, I would guess it is his. He has bookshelves on almost every wall, but what catches my eye is his bed. His comforter is a rich dark blue, and as I run my hand over it, I notice just how soft it is. This has to be Egyptian cotton or something. I didn’t even know they made stuff this soft.

  We all sit on the end of the bed while Matthew gets the TV set up. His room really does fit him. There are enough books in here to rival a library, and I wonder if he brought some of these with him when they came here or if these are from when he was a child? There is also a desk that has papers spread out all over it. I smile as I watch him flipping through the DVDs. His lean body is all muscles. He flips his hair out of his eyes and catches me staring, so I quickly look down at the snacks and try to decide what I want to eat. I am starving, so I’m not very picky, and I decide to grab a couple different choices. I can feel my cheeks redden from being caught staring, so I try to cover it up by digging into the bag of candy I just grabbed.

  The guys finally pick a movie and get it started. I am really thankful we are doing this tonight; it gives my brain a good distraction from everything going on. Especially the fact that I am sitting in a room surrounded by three gorgeous men. This is most girls’ dreams. I climb up on the bed and lean against the headboard. Alex and Matthew come sit down on my sides, and Chaice stands at the end of the bed, looking between us all. Just when I think he is going to sit in the chair across the room, he scoops me up and plops down in the spot he just took me out of, setting me down on his lap.

  I turn my glare on him; how dare he manhandle me? But the words never make it out of my mouth. He isn’t looking at me anyway, he is watching the movie. Being this close to him, I can make out his worry lines and all the small imperfections that most people wouldn’t notice. For some reason, maybe it’s the fact that he might be my mate, but I think the small imperfections make him perfect for me. Let’s face it, I am far from perfect, but here with these three, none of that matters to me. We can all be imperfect together. I lean my head on Chaice’s shoulder and try to focus on the movie. As I doze off, I can’t help a creeping feeling of loneliness, but I don’t know whether it is my feelings or someone else’s.

  Chapter 21

  Rayven

  When I wake up, the TV is turned off and the only thing I hear is the sound of soft snoring around me. I must still be sitting on Chaice’s lap, but at some point, I turned to the side, so my legs are hanging over Chaice’s leg. I feel someone behind me, who must be sleeping, because their breaths are deep and even. I look in front of me and see Alex is sleeping facing towards the wall. I look up, expecting to see Chaice sleeping as well, but instead, he is looking down at me. From the heated look on his face, I think me moving is what woke him up. He takes his hand and runs it down the side of my face. It’s like he is memorizing every detail because he doesn’t want to forget. “You are so beautiful,” Chaice whispers to me. He brings his face closer to mine and kisses my forehead. It is so soft and delicate that is surprises me. I take a quick breath in and look up to meet his eyes.

  He brings his mouth down to mine and places the sweetest kiss I have ever had on my lips. He kisses me tenderly until I can’t take it anymore. I deepen the kiss, and he moans into my mouth. His free hand makes its way under my shirt and skims the top of my shorts. I let out a breathy moan, and that is all the encouragement he needs. He picks me up and lays me down at the foot of the bed. As he makes his way on top of me, he takes off his shirt to expose his rock-hard body underneath. When he gets close enough, I let my hands wander over his firm chest. I want to explore all of him. My hands want to touch every hard muscle and commit them to my memory, just like he did with my face.

  He closes the distance between us in a rough kiss filled with need. His hand expertly reaches behind me and undoes the clasp of my bra. Chaice takes that, along with my shirt, and throws it on the floor with his. He cups my breasts and gently massages them, taking his time to slowly tweak my peaked nipples. I can’t help but groan into his mouth, this feels so good. He tilts my head to the side so he can kiss my neck and behind my ear. He makes his way down to my shoulder and playfully bites it. I almost come undone right there. My core is soaked and waiting for him to finally show it the attention it needs.

  His hand runs down my stomach, pausing when he reaches the top of my shorts. Chaice moves his hand under the waistband until he reaches my center. His fingers separate my folds and expertly start massaging my clit. I don’t know how much longer I can last. I move my hand down to the button on his jeans. I want to feel his cock in my hand. He grabs my hand and puts it above my head. “Tonight is about you,” he whispers. For a split second, the fog in my brain clears, and I realize we are not alone.

  “Should we go somewhere else?” I ask. I am still not sure how this whole mating thing works.

  “No, we are fine right here. I won’t make you wait any longer.” He kisses me one last time, then starts kissing his way down my chest. He pays extra attention to my nipples, and I moan in appreciation. He quickly discards my shorts and lowers his mouth to my core. As soon as his mouth touches me, I almost lose myself. His hands come up and tweak my nipples. That, combined with him simultaneously licking and sucking my clit, does me in. I fall apart in one of the most explosive orgasms I have ever felt. I grab his head and keep him where I need him as I ride it out. My pleasure.

  When I finally come down off my high, I am putty in Chaice’s hands as he climbs back up the bed and covers my lips with his once again. He pulls away for a moment and grabs a blanket to cover us up. He pulls me back down next to him, and I curl around him. Resting my head on the crook of his shoulder, I fall asleep listening to the sound of Chaice’s strong heartbeat.

  Chapter 22

  Chaice

  Lying here with Rayven in my arms is the most amazing feeling I have ever had. My whole life, I have always felt like something was miss
ing, but now I have found it. She is my missing piece. It took everything in me to hold back and not bond with her tonight. I know she isn’t ready for it, and I want our relationship to grow with time, not be rushed. I need for her to accept me fully, and I know that cannot happen until she knows me. I run my fingers through her hair, and she snuggles in closer to my chest. Her hair is so soft, everything about her just seems so much more intense. I have been with other women before, but none affect me the way she does. All of my senses are heightened when she is around.

  I breathe in and inhale her scent. The coconut reminds me of a tropical vacation. Maybe I can take her on a trip to the beach one day. I can see it now: Rayven lying out on the beach, her beautiful body on display, and us just enjoying our time together. I wrap my arms tighter around her sleeping form and pull her closer. Having her this close is doing wonders on my frayed nerves. Talking about Xavier earlier didn’t help. The thought of him trying to bring her to the council is crazy to me. I’m not even mated to her yet, and I know there is no way I could let anything happen to her. Xavier, on the other hand, seems to be perfectly fine with the idea of her being used for whatever the council has planned for her. I wonder if there is something wrong with him; he seems to be at odds with himself whenever he is around her. I’ll catch him looking at her while she is talking or laughing, and I can see the longing in his eyes. But in the next second, he is saying how much he wants her gone.

  He completely confuses me, but I stop my thoughts before I get too worked up. I have a beautiful woman in my arms, and I’m not even focused on her. I kiss the top of her head and close my eyes so I can try to go back to sleep. After what feels like forever, I reluctantly sneak out from under Rayven. There’s no way I’ll be able to go back to sleep. Earlier, I had barely closed my eyes when I felt her wake up. It was almost like that first night in my room when she was asleep and climbed on top of me in the chair. My first instinct was to get up and let her have it, but then I thought better of it. She might fight it when she’s awake, but while she is asleep, her walls are down. Her body is naturally drawn to me just like mine is to hers, and apparently when she is sleeping, she can’t fight her instincts to be close to me.

  I quietly close the door behind me and make my way towards my room. My body rebels at the idea of leaving her, but I know I will see her again soon. With new clothes on, I walk to the back door and decide to take a run. I have some built up steam I need to release, and it will give me time to try to think of something to awaken Rayven’s powers. Something has got to be blocking them; there is no other reason why she can’t fully access them. As I run along the path, I feel a tingle run down my spine, and I know my dragon wants to be let out. I scan the trees around me to make sure no one is around, then I relax my body and let him take over.

  Chapter 23

  Rayven

  The next morning, I roll over only to notice that I am completely alone. I sit up and look around Matthew’s room for my clothes. Did I seriously fall asleep without putting my clothes back on? Talk about embarrassing. When I finally find them, I get dressed and make my way over to his desk. On the way, I grab a left over bag of chips and start munching on them. I notice a door on the far side of the room that I didn’t realize was there last night. I slowly move across the room, slide the door open, and walk in. As soon as I do, I realize I probably should’ve checked to make sure no one was in here. My eyes take a second to adjust to the bright light, but once they do, I realize I am staring at a very wet and very naked Matthew. The way the water is dripping off his glistening body captivates me. After a stunned moment, I quickly cover my eyes with my hands and turn away. I shriek my apologies, but I don’t walk away. I just stand there awkwardly because I have no idea what to do. I’ve covered my eyes, so I can’t see where the door is, and I don’t want to uncover my eyes and end up ogling him again.

  “Rayven,” I hear Matthew say.

  “Yup, that is me,” I reply, trying to turn away from the direction his voice is coming from.

  “You can uncover your eyes.”

  I shake my head like a mad woman. “No, that’s ok! I’m so sorry I just barged in here. I should have knocked. I would leave, but I don’t know where the door is. So just don’t mind me, I’ll find the way out.” I stretch out my arm, trying to find the closest wall. Where in the world is that damn wall? I didn’t think this room was that big. My hand connects with something wet, and I try to pull back my arm, but something grabs me. I am quickly pulled into the shower, and I let out a squeal when the water hits my skin.

  “Rayven, open your eyes. There is no need to be embarrassed,” he leans in and whispers in my ear. The deep tone of his voice gives me goose bumps. I uncover my eyes and look straight up at Matthew’s face. I am in one of those positions where I really want to check him out, but then again I don’t want to. So I just have this very uncomfortable look on my face, and you can see just how hard I am trying not to check him out. Yup, I am definitely nervous, I am rambling again.

  “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or nervous around me, Rayven. Whether you know it or not, I am yours. So just know, whenever you are ready for me, I am here.” He smiles down at me, and all of my nerves dissipate. I want to grab his face and kiss him until he takes me against the shower wall, but I need to check myself. I was completely satisfied after last night with Chaice until I came in here and saw Matthew’s chiseled body out on display. It really should be a crime for someone to have such a perfect physique.

  I reach over and grab the soap and put some in my hands. “Turn around.” Matthew does as instructed, and I lather up his back. I didn’t know how intimate washing someone was until this moment. My hands get to be all over him under the guise of getting him clean, when in reality, I really just want to touch him. I rub his back and then make my way up to his shoulders. I give them a little extra attention and try to massage some of the tension out. He moans and places his hand against the wall for support.

  From there, I move onto his arms. I love how I can feel his muscles relax under my touch. I bring my hands around his body onto his chest and make my way down the hard planes of his abs. When I get down to the V that leads to where his shorts should be, I know I should stop. I decide I don’t want to though, so I glide my hands down to his already hard shaft. I begin to stroke him, and he lets out a groan and spins around. He pushes me back against the wall and crashes his lips into mine. This kiss is the exact opposite of how I thought he would kiss me. His tongue is fighting for dominance with mine, like we need each other like the air we breathe.

  He pulls the wet fabric of my shorts down and slides his hands under my ass. He quickly grabs my shirt and throws that in the same pile as my shorts. He spreads my legs so he can lift me up, and they automatically circle his muscular waist. His shaft slams into me so quickly I don’t have time to prepare. He is big, way bigger than I have ever been with before. I can feel my body stretching to try to accommodate his length. The pain quickly recedes and is replaced by pleasure. He pounds into me fast and hard, like he can’t get enough.

  I am fighting to breathe as my climax gets closer. He pulls out only to thrust back in. I can’t stop myself from moaning into his mouth until he breaks our kiss and begins to kiss his way down to my neck. I rest my head against the wall and lose myself in all of the sensations I am feeling. When I’m about to fall apart, Matthew growls, and I open my eyes to see him extend his canines and bite my left shoulder. As soon as his mouth touches my shoulder, we both shout out our releases, and we ride the waves of pleasure until my legs go numb.

  Matthew lets me down and steadies me while I regain movement of my legs. When I am finally stable, I look up and smile at him. “Your eyes!” he exclaims. I automatically assume they are doing something crazy that’s freaking him out, so I quickly close them. “No. No, open them. Rayven, they are beautiful. I can see so many different colors in them. They are like rainbows,” he says in awe. I open them back up and let him study my eyes. “That is amaz
ing,” Matthew says as he continues to admire my eyes. I break eye contact to inspect my shoulder, expecting to see a mark, but there is nothing there besides my birthmark and markings.

  I look back up, questions burning in my mind. He chuckles and grabs a towel. “Here, let’s get dried off, and we can talk.” I take the towel and quickly pat myself dry. When I’m done, I walk back into his room, where he is waiting with some clothes for me.

  “Thank you,” I say as I slip into them and get comfortable on the bed. How did I go from not wanting to be here, all the way to getting intimate with two of them in less than twenty-four hours? My cheeks redden with the thoughts of last night, and he notices.

  “There is no reason for you to feel embarrassed; it’s usual for mates’ hormones to go a little crazy when they first meet. Our bodies are trying to push us to connect. Our souls belong together after all.” Matthew turns and sits down next to me.

  “So you guys are completely cool all being my mate? What if I don’t want all of you?” I whisper the last question, afraid I will offend him.

  “Well, I’ll be honest, it is probably easier for my brother and me to accept than Chaice or Xavier. We knew, being twins, that we would end up sharing one person. The other two were raised to think they would never find there fated mate, but either way, they probably never even imagined having to share. As for the last question, that is completely up to you. You can reject any one of us. It might be difficult to do because of the bond, but it can be done. Just know that with each bond, you will become stronger, so it is important that we start training you. You need to have control over your abilities if you need to defend yourself.” I can feel worry, but it is not my own. I look up into Matthew’s different colored eyes and realize it must be his emotions. Does that mean we completed the bond?