Christmas Kisses

by Lori Copeland

  “Russ, what’s wrong?” The dead serious look on his face frightened her. “What is wrong?”

  “I just got a call from my supervisor. They want me in Washington first thing tomorrow morning.”

  “Tomorrow—I thought you had until the first of the year.”

  “I thought so, too.”

  “But your injury.”

  “He asked about that. I had to tell him. I’m fine.”

  “Tomorrow morning?” The news wouldn’t penetrate her sleep-fogged state. Immediately? The five syllables held no meaning individually, but put together into one single word, they crushed the breath out of her. She knew all along he wouldn’t be staying in Morning Sun. “But we…”

  “I know. That’s why I have to talk to you tonight—now.” He kissed her, holding her close. “I have to catch the first flight out in the morning,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, Beth, so sorry. I don’t want to go.”

  Slipping his jacket from his shoulders, she took his hand and led him to her bed. They crawled beneath the blankets, holding each other.

  “How do you feel about moving to Washington?” he asked softly.

  “Move? I just came home.” Hot tears welled to her eyes.

  His arms tightened around her. “I want you with me. As soon as I check in, I’ll call you. You can come there, we’ll find an apartment, get married.”

  “Married! Russ, I have Aunt Harriet to think about.”

  “She can come, too.”

  “She won’t leave Morning Sun. She flat out said no.”

  “When you left on your trip to see the world, you planned to let her go to the retirement home. And she was fine with that, wasn’t she?”

  “She was fine with that. I wasn’t” She rolled to face him. Tracing his lips with her fingers, she whispered. “It’s hard to explain my feelings, Russ. Aunt Hany’s family. When I was gone, I realized how much family means to me. I love you—more than I’ve ever loved any man in my life.” She kissed him lightly. “You are my life. But I don’t want to…I cannot move and leave Aunt Harry in a nursing home.”

  “What are you concerned about? Don’t you think they’d take care of her?”

  “It’s not the quality of service. They have good people there. But how can the home take care of her and give her what I can? I’m her family. No one else can be that for Aunt Harry. I want her to be with people she loves, and people who love her. Everybody deserves that.”

  He smoothed her hair back from her eyes and wiped the wetness from her face.

  “I knew when I was gone that I missed her, I wanted to be near her.” She tightened her arms around him. “And you. All I could think of was that I wanted to come home.”

  “We can make a home in D.C. It’s not that far away from Morning Sun.”

  “But if Aunt Harry needed me…if something would happen to her… Oh, Russ, it’s not just Aunt Harriet. What about the bookstore?”

  “I’ll buy you a bookstore in Washington if that’s what you want.”

  “You can’t buy me family. You can’t buy me a town, with people I know and trust.”

  “I’d buy you the moon if I could. You know that.”

  “I do know that, and I love you for it.” Their mouths drifted back together. How would she bear letting him go? But she couldn’t go with him, not now.

  He shifted and propped himself up on his elbow. “I don’t expect you to go immediately. I realize this is a big decision. I’ll check in, and they’ll send me to Bogotá—”

  “Bogotá!”

  “You’re not supposed to know that.”

  “You’re going out of the country?”

  “I never know where I’m going or when I’ll be back until I get there. Beth, there will be times I’m gone as long as three months at a time.”

  Three months! Three months alone in Washington? She couldn’t possibly do that, no matter how much she loved him.

  “By the way, I need to ask a favor.”

  “What?”

  “Could you keep an eye on Dave’s place until he and Carol get home?”

  “Sure, no problem.”

  “And…” He hesitated for a long moment.

  “And what?”

  “Jasper. I don’t have time to make arrangements for Jasper and the flight, too. I’ll leave a key to Dave’s house. If you’ll put out food and water, the dog pretty well takes care of himself. There’s a dog door he comes in and out of, when he sleeps on the service porch.”

  “Yes, I’ll take care of the dog.” She swallowed against the tight lump in her throat. She’d watch the house and take care of the dog. But who would take care of her? Who would be there when she needed a hug and reassurance? Who would take her in his arms and kiss her, and murmur affectionately?

  Now, she remembered why she learned to be so independent, why she didn’t need the problems that love brought with it. “Russ, I know you have to go. This is your profession, and you have responsibilities. You’ve worked hard to get where you are. I’ve been here almost my whole life. I’m not going anywhere. Go to Washington, settle into the new job, then we’ll talk about our future.”

  “I don’t want to go without you.”

  “I don’t want you to go without me, but I don’t want to move to Washington—not this quickly. I’ll have to think about it.”

  “Do you love me?”

  “How can you even ask? Of course I love you. I’ve loved you from the moment you moved to Morning Sun as a teenager. You must know that.”

  They held each other, trying to make sense of the situation.

  “I’ll call you as soon as I know anything else about this assignment,” he promised.

  “We’ll talk,” she whispered. “I’m not saying I won’t move. I just want time to sort through this, talk to Aunt Harry, look into alternative nursing homes.”

  “Harriet would get used to Washington. She can live with us. It wouldn’t take her any time to adjust. Hell, I can eat fruitcake or nut bread with cranberries in it every day. No problem.”

  “That wouldn’t be fair to you.”

  “I don’t care, Beth. Not having you with me isn’t fair to me even more.”

  “Aunt Harry will never move. I know her. She’s confused most of the time, but she has a mind of her own.”

  “Aren’t you her guardian?”

  “Yes, but I would never do anything against her wishes, not unless she was endangering her own life.”

  Sighing, he rolled to his back. “Then I guess we exist on phone calls until we can get this straightened out.”

  “Well, other people carry on long-distance relationships.”

  “They might, but I don’t want one. Besides you don’t really have any confidence that it can work.”

  She nuzzled his nose. “Ours will be different. Call me every day?”

  “Not every day. I never know where I’ll be, but I will call you, Beth.” He drew her close, holding her as if he couldn’t let her go. She didn’t want him to let her go. But she didn’t want to leave Aunt Harry, sell the bookstore, and move to Washington D.C., either.

  What if the relationship failed? She didn’t want to think about the possibility, but she must. She and Russ weren’t teenagers. It would take a good deal of adjustment for both of them. She would have to uproot her whole life and Harry’s. She couldn’t do that, even though she loved this man more than life itself.

  “I love you, Beth. I want you with me.”

  “I love you too, Russ. We’ll work it out.”

  Five-thirty that morning, Beth slipped out her front door and locked it behind her. When Russ called from her bedroom to reserve a seat on the commuter flight, she’d fully intended to proceed with her life as planned. Why did she find herself instead on the road to the small airport outside of town?

  She parked where she would be able to see the take-off and kept the car running. Fifteen minutes later, the small plane taxied down the runway and took off into the air.

  Blinking back tears, she
watched the plane disappear into a cloud bank. This is the way it was destined to happen. Though she told herself over and over that Russ would leave, she’d held on to the hope that something would make him stay. And now his departure was even sooner than planned.

  The only difference between now and ten years earlier was, this time he’d more than kissed her. Ten years ago, she fantasized about loving Russ Foster. Now she knew without a doubt that she did love him. He gave her new hopes and dreams, then he walked away. Again.

  Beth rested her forehead against the steering wheel and allowed the tears to come. What a fool she was to think she could entice him to stay in Morning Sun. Would he call, stay in touch? Or had his promises been only pillow talk? She couldn’t believe that. Whatever happened, she wouldn’t change a thing except to have had him with her a little longer.

  She felt for the locket hanging near her heart. Bringing it to her lips, she kissed it and knew it was infinitely better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

  CHAPTER 9

  “THE KNEE looks good. You can’t climb any mountains yet, but it’s looking good.”

  Russ shifted on the examining table, flexing the leg. “Then you’ll release me?”

  The doctor peered at Russ over the rim of his glasses. “Like I said, no climbing any mountains.”

  “I believe there’s an elevator to my new office,” Russ hedged. Well, it was the truth. He simply omitted the fact that he expected to spend very little time in any office. No mountains, ha! Well, the majority of the mountain climbing would be done by the men he supervised. He couldn’t really guarantee he wouldn’t ever have to climb one. In his line of work, there were no guarantees.

  But then, it wouldn’t be the first time he didn’t follow a doctor’s orders, either. This morning, on the plane he’d flown to Washington, he’d mulled over his new position, reminding himself of the old adage, “Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.”

  The doctor chuckled. “I’ll sign your release. I want to see you again in three months. Meanwhile, take it easy. One heroic mistake, and you’ll be back to square one.”

  Actually, square one, and the recuperation period hadn’t been so bad… all things considered. Russ left the doctor’s, and took a cab to the office.

  Dirty patches of snow lined Pennsylvania Avenue. He didn’t usually mind snow in December. In fact, in Morning Sun it was great. Somehow, black snow in Washington D.C. didn’t have the same charm. He looked out the dirt-spattered window. What was Beth doing at this very moment? Was he consuming her thoughts as she did his?

  Saying goodbye to her had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. Falling in love with her, the easiest.

  His life objectives had changed in the past two months. Things he’d once thought important, no longer held their appeal. Was he getting old? Well, he was no spring chicken anymore, but twenty-nine wasn’t old, unless you factored in a lack of roots. No family, no wife, no children, not even a mangy, good-for-nothing mutt like Jasper.

  No life.

  How many times had he told his buddies to get a life? When would he listen to his own advice?

  The first thing he did when he was back in his office for a couple of hours before his plane was scheduled to take him on his new assignment, was place Astor on his desk. He turned the dog toward him and studied the huge grin he had learned to tolerate. Hell, he even missed that dog. He jabbed a number into the phone.

  He glanced up, his eyes meeting those of his coordinator, Ed Miller, and slammed down the receiver. “I can’t get through. You may have to line up an escort to meet the plane in Colombia. I’ve called for half an hour now, and it rings twice and disconnects. I’ll keep trying until I have to leave. And Ed, remember that position you talked with me about before I put in for this one?”

  “The one you flat out refused to even talk about with the brass? You said that adapting all the Bureau’s manuals for the computer was…well, I won’t repeat what you said it was. That one?”

  “Yes, Ed, that one.”

  “It’s been put on hold for now. After you refused it, George Stephens assigned a task force to study the problem. They’ve come up with a temporary fix. Memos are still flying about the need. Not many agents have the field experience you have. Most get out of the hard physical stuff as soon as a job opens up. There’s talk of hiring an outside consultant to finish the job.”

  Russ groaned.

  “Having second thoughts? Your knee the problem?”

  No, dammit, his knee was not the problem. Russ leaned back, crossing his arms behind his head. A headache pounded behind his eyelids. The fact was, he had dismissed the offer so completely, he couldn’t remember any of the details.

  Ed nodded. “Could be a real plum. Two paygrade jump. Real boost when retirement rolls around. You could leave this high-rent area and live anywhere. All you’d need is a phone line to your computer.” He tapped a pen on the folder. “Shall I tell them you’ve changed your mind if the opportunity comes around again?”

  Russ felt the blood chum in his veins. He couldn’t think about it now. Telephone line? Morning Sun had telephone lines.

  Ed was halfway out the door when he turned for a parting shot. “There are plenty of agents who would give their eyeteeth for a chance like this. Some have spent their entire twenty years of service applying for this kind of opportunity. You turned your back on the deal of a lifetime.” He disappeared down the corridor.

  Twenty years. That was hell of a long time to want something. Beth. Ten years was a long time to want something and not go after it. He looked around his new office, an office he’d probably spend thirty out of the next fifty-two weeks away from.

  For two cents… There was a sharp rap on the door frame as another agent stepped into the room. Was he the only one in this office with work to do?

  “Hear you’re headed out this afternoon.”

  “Seems to be the case.”

  “Didn’t give you the full time off for your leave, did they?”

  “I’m almost back to par. The doctor says no mountain climbing.” They both laughed aloud.

  “What did he say about jumping out of helicopters?”

  “We didn’t go into that. It must be okay.” Russ stood to shake Rodney Henson’s offered hand.

  “Take care, buddy. These drug lords don’t care who they eliminate or how they do the job. We’re counting on you to come back alive and in one piece.” Russ nodded and Rodney sauntered out the door.

  Within the hour, Russ was back at the airport to board a plane for Colombia. He hated the thought of leaving the country. Colombia was a continent away from Beth. Standing in front of the boarding gate, he dialed Harriet’s number on his pocket cell phone. Harriet answered on the first ring.

  “Harriet? Russ Foster.”

  “Russell! How nice to hear your voice. How do you like Washington?”

  “It’s okay. Is Beth around?”

  “No, she just left for a friend’s baby shower. Mary Sue Edgar? Do you know Mary Sue?”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Well, she and Beth are good friends. Beth didn’t want to go, for fear you might call. I had to make her go—she’ll be sick she didn’t get to talk to you.”

  “I’m sick I missed her. Jasper giving you any trouble?”

  “No, not at all. He loves my biscuits, did you know that?”

  “And I can’t blame him. Harry, do you have Mary Sue’s number?”

  There was no answer, but the receiver clunked loudly, and he could hear Harriet’s footsteps fade from the area.

  “Russ?”

  “Yes?”

  “I can’t find it. If you can wait awhile, I can go next door and get it.”

  His flight number was called for final boarding. “No, I have to go, now. Harriet, can you give Beth a message for me?”

  “Certainly, dear.”

  “Tell her I’m leaving the country—I’ll be out of touch for a couple of weeks. Tell her I love h
er, and I’ll call the minute I get back to the states.”

  “I’ll do that. Now Russell, it’s dangerous out of the country. All kinds of weirdos running around out there. You be careful, you hear?”

  “Thanks, I’ll try…Harriet?”

  “Yes?”

  “Tell Beth I love her.”

  “Certainly, dear. She loves you, too, I’m sure.”

  Hanging up, Russ pressed his head against the receiver. Damn. What a way to tell a woman you love her. What a way to spend a life. Get a life, Foster!

  Two nights later, he dialed Harry’s number as he lay on a cot, fending off mosquitoes. He gasped for breath in the oppressive heat. How did people breathe in this? The line was busy! Where was Beth tonight? God, he missed her—wanted her so bad he hurt. He wanted to be in Morning Sun, eating Harriet’s raisin meat loaf instead of in a leaky tent in a godforsaken jungle playing James Bond. He shook the phone. Who was on the line? Who knew when he’d have another clear signal?

  He crumpled the pillow over his ears and blocked out the night sounds. What kinds of varmints were out there? What had he ever found so fascinating about this job?

  * * *

  “ARE YOU eating in tonight?” Harriet put a pan of something resembling hash into the oven, and closed the door.

  “Yes. Are you sure Russ hasn’t called?” Beth glanced at the silent phone. He’d been in Washington over a week, and she hadn’t heard a word from him. Not one word. She picked up the phone and checked for a dial tone. The instrument seemed to be in proper working order. Hanging up, she stared at the receiver. Was he playing mind games with her? That wasn’t his style. She couldn’t call him—she had no idea where he was staying.

  “Called?” Harriet thought a moment. “No…that nice fellow, David, called. He asked about Jasper—he’s very fond of that animal.”

  “Did you tell him not to worry, we’re taking good care of Jasper?” At the sound of his name, the big dog stood, stretched, and walked to Beth to be petted.

  “I told him Jasper was fine.” Harry scurried around the kitchen singing “Here Comes Peter Cottontail,” as she took dishes from the cabinets.