Carter paced the floor, and Declan stood, placing his arm around his brother to let him know that he didn’t have to bear this alone. Carter stopped for a minute and looked at Declan. With a heart-rending plea, he searched his eyes to seek clarity and understanding while holding onto him.
“Do you want to know what bothers me the most? Do you want to know what’s tearing me apart? What’s killing me inside?” he searched Declan for answers and then offered them to him through great wracked sobs. “I wonder how long she lay there alive…hurt, and praying that someone…help would come. Was it a minute? Was it an hour? Did she die instantly? Did she wonder why I didn’t come? Did she wonder where I was? Did she try to reach for her cell phone? Was she able to, or was she in too much pain to reach for it? Was she unconscious and couldn’t reach for it? Did she cry out for me, or could she not cry out at all?”—Carter shook Declan for a moment as he asked the next question—“Did the heartless son of a bitch who hit her even look back to see the damage he’d caused?! The worst of it is that she died alone.”
Carter came undone and physically disintegrated into Declan’s arms.
“I didn’t know it would be the last time I would see her. Did I kiss her goodbye? Did I say ‘be careful’? Did I tell her I loved her?” He was torn to shreds…
I came over to them both, and we brought Carter to the sofa to sit between us.
Carter sobbed mournful, grievous tears for the next several hours until he had no energy left within his large frame and appeared to fall into sleep. It was a tormenting sight to see the towering, powerful man reduced to the distressful and pitiful widower.
We removed his shoes while Aimee retrieved a blanket; then we moved him into a prone position on the sofa so that he could get whatever amount of sleep his woeful body would take. The three of us moved into the kitchen to talk quietly. Cody girl wouldn’t leave her master; she lay beside him on the floor.
“I feel so helpless,” Declan said through agonized eyes. “I loved Lacey. She was my sister, but I could only imagine what Carter…” he stopped because he couldn’t say the words aloud. Clearing his throat he tried again. “He needs me, but I don’t know what to do…” His head fell into his hands and he ran his hands through his hair.
I placed my arm around his back and gently ran my hand across it to comfort him.
“You’re doing the best thing that you can, babe,” I whispered to him. “You’re here for him”—I placed my hand to his cheek to turn his face toward me—“and I’m here for you, bear…”
Placing his chin on my head, he spoke in a barely audible voice, “I don’t know how I’d ever live without you, Aria. The thought of it takes my breath away. I feel like a vise is around my throat. I don’t even want to think of how badly this will affect Carter…”
“Then don’t try. Just be here for him,” I said as I moved my head back to look into his eyes. I attempted a very weak smile to offer him some relief. “I’m not planning to go anywhere.”
As I reached up and gave him a comforting kiss, Declan’s arms came around me and wouldn’t let me go. T
Lacey Sinclair’s funeral was a bitter-sweet occasion. During the service, countless people gave testament to a life well lived by a woman well loved. From the town’s Mayor to a former student of hers, now grown, each person gave tearful testimony of the shining example of love, loyalty, and friendship that Lacey’s life offered us all.
Declan was prepared for today and had braced himself for his brother’s reaction to laying his wife to rest. Though Carter’s grief was privately disquieting, he managed to keep his emotions in check while in public. His fellow Troopers stood strong around him, and there was a poignant strength in their presence that we all were drawing from as we approached the gravesite.
As the minister said prayers over Lacey’s final remains, one of her friends sang “In the Garden” acapella as we all stood silently, sniffling into our tissues.
It was customary at this cemetery that the lowering of the casket into the ground be done once the family had gone. The service was concluded, and the mourners paid their last respects. All were welcomed to honor her memory at a luncheon at the hall in town. Aimee had taken care of the logistical arrangements as well as coordinated the gifts of prepared food from friends and neighbors. She’d gone ahead to play hostess for the family while Declan and I stayed behind with Carter.
“Please, you two, go on without me. I’d like to stay here with Lacey just a little while longer…” he said through vocal chords that had been taxed by his cries.
Declan shook his head at his brother. “No, we’ll wait for you.”
Carter shot Declan a stern look. There was anger lying just under the anguish. The surface of his grief was a thin membrane separating the two and it was about to erode. “I need a little more time to say my goodbyes, Dec. Give me space dammit.”
I intervened and stood between the two of them. With emotions as high as theirs, I didn’t want them to relieve their tension by taking it out on each other.
“Carter, Declan just didn’t want you to be by yourself,” I gently said as I laid my hand on his arm. “He loves you, and he’s concerned about you. Surely, you can see that.” He looked down at me examining my interfering intent. “Lacey wouldn’t want you two to go at each other, especially not today.”
They both softened upon hearing me invoke Lacey’s name. Knowing I spoke the truth, they shook their heads in agreement.
Carter addressed us both. “I’d like a few moments alone, with Lacey, to say my goodbyes. I’ve asked one of my friends from the force to stay behind and drive me to meet up with you. He’s right over there,” he said, pointing to a Trooper in uniform who tipped his hat at us. Turning back to us he appeared resigned. “Look, I’ve been surrounded by people twenty-four seven for the past two days. I haven’t had a moment to myself because everything has been either a funeral arrangement or speaking to someone. I need some time with Lacey. Alone.” Carter’s jaw went slack, and his posture a bit dejected as his eyes pleaded with us. “Please understand…”
I squeezed Declan’s hand and looked at him to reassure him.
“He’ll be fine,” I said.
Gave me a little smile he shook his head, then went to Carter and gave him a hug.
“We’ll see you in a little while,” he told his brother. He looked into Carter’s eyes and clasped his shoulder. “I love you.”
Carter’s eyes filled with tears, and he shook his head.
“You, too. See you in a little while.”
As we walked to the limousine, we saw Carter sitting in a chair next to Lacey’s casket. We also saw his friend standing a respectful distance away, keeping an eye on him. Carter did need some privacy to speak with the woman he shared every moment of every day with since they were young, before he allowed them to put her body into the ground.
As we drove away I felt the familiar splintering of death invade my heart. The days ahead wouldn’t be kind. Time doesn’t make losing someone you love any easier—time just makes that loss a little easier to bear.
As Carter settled his final message to the woman who held his heart, he rose from his chair. He started in the direction to join the Trooper who waited for him and meet with friends that wanted to share their last condolences with him. As he was walking, a woman approached him.
“Carter?” the woman said waiting for a confirmation.
“Yes.”
“I’m a friend of your brother’s. I heard what happened and attended to pay my respects. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for the loss of your wife…”
“That’s very kind of you.” Carter was numbly and mechanically repeating the familiar phrase he had said dozens of times in the past few days. “Would you like to join us for lunch?”
“No, no. That’s why I stayed behind. I have to run off, but I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye and extending my condolences,” she said as she patted his hand.
“Well thank you,” Carter
said. “It was kind of you to come.”
“Think nothing of it,” she said as she made her way to her car.
Carter walked with her when his friend approached and diverted his attention. The woman got into her car and waved; Carter instinctively waved back.
“Who was that?” his friend asked.
“I don’t know. I didn’t get her name. She’s some friend of Declan’s.”
Getting into his friend’s car, he never gave her another thought.
…and as the final luncheon occurred to celebrate the life of a woman well loved, Marisol was celebrating how clever she was that no one recognized her or thought to ask for her name…
T Have I Told You Lately That I Love You – Rod Stewart
TT Let’s Make This a Night to Remember – Bryan Adams
Declan and Katherine had finished their work at the studio and they were on their way to meet Aria and Paige at The Stoney Lonen for lunch. Aria had completed the renovation of a small beach cottage in the vicinity of the eatery, and Paige was meeting with her regarding details to list her property after she finished showing another property down the street. It was a perfect and convenient place for everyone to connect.
As Declan and Katherine walked in, the owners, Brian and Rita, waved and directed them toward Aria and Paige. Seeing his girl always brought a smile to Declan’s face.
“Hi, beautiful,” he said as a wide grin broke his rugged features.
“Hi yourself,” she said, looking up at him with her ever-changing eyes. Today, they almost looked crystal blue-grey.
“I’ve been going over the details of the studio opening with Katherine. The guest list is rather lengthy, but Aimee knows all the clients so she took care of the invitations. I agree with her that we should invite everyone we’ve worked with. Her philosophy is that no one’s ever offended if they’re invited and they decline, they’re only offended if they’re not invited.”
The group all shook their heads in agreement with him.
Aria made a face as she wrinkled her nose.
“I suppose that means we have to invite Marisol…” she said as both a question and a statement.
“Aria, we don’t have to invite her at all,” Declan directed at her. He was firm in his statements. “This is your night as much as it is mine, beautiful,” he said sweetly. “Marisol’s feelings are none of my concern, but yours are my first concern. If you don’t want her there, then you just say the word. I won’t have you uncomfortable all night.”
He reached across the table and took her hand in his.
Aria had worked very hard on the renovation of this building, and her ideas were brilliant. The changes were astonishing. The building had gone from an empty shell of a former gym to a bright and beautiful office building featuring prime studio space fit for any photographic need. If they hadn’t documented the changes with photographs of their own, they weren’t certain they would, or could, describe it accurately. Declan was certain that the building would entice the most selective clients to utilize the space, and he was especially proud to give Aria credit for all of her hard work. The fact that he was in love with her gave him an extra measure of pride.
“No, Declan,” Aria said, meeting my eyes. “I don’t want anyone excluded on my behalf. I want Marisol to see how proud I am of your business.” She squeezed my hand reassuringly.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” I asked, looking at her.
Katherine and Paige made some noise, clearing their throat and coughing to remind us of their presence. Aria and I began to laugh.
“Hello? We’re still here,” Paige said.
Katherine chimed in, “Okay, save the gushy stuff for home. We have four weeks to pull the rest of this together. Focus, people, focus!”
I raised my eyebrow at my Assistant.
“Yes, Ma’am!”
Katherine looked at me, then down at her list. “I’ve gotten the invitations from Aimee, and they’re going out tomorrow. The menu has been finalized, as has the music. We’ve arranged for red carpet and photographers. This is going to be the largest event that this little beach town has ever seen! All that’s left for you two to do is to choose what you’re going to wear.”
“I know what I’ll wear, and it will be based on a few things,” I said turning to Aria.
“What?” she said. “I don’t know what I’m wearing yet.” I started drawing circles in her palm to distract her a bit.
“Beautiful, I’ve taken the liberty of choosing three gowns from my favorite designers. I want you to look at them and try them on. It’s my hope that you’ll choose one of them to wear, and I’ll choose my outfit based on what you wear.”
Aria searched my eyes. “Declan, that’s too extravagant.”
“No it isn’t. You’ll be the belle of the ball that evening. None of this would have been possible without you,” I insisted. “At least take a look at them, please?”
Her eyes changed right in front of mine as her emotions showed her mood. I could see her struggle to agree with me in them. It only took her a moment, and as she accepted the sincerity of my offer, they cast the deepest shade of the ocean, and their corners almost touched the sides of her smile.
The evening would be perfect.
“I’m coming down!” I called to Declan from the second floor.
Being a bit uneasy with my appearance, I looked at myself in the full length mirror as if I were Cinderella going to the ball. The woman reflecting back at me was beautiful. My long, dark waves had been done in a way that part of my hair was up, and some hung down. I had a sparkling starfish clip in my hair. It was fashioned from a broche that belonged to Declan’s Grandmother. My make-up had been artfully done by Aimee several hours before, and my eyes had been done in the smoky style. It made the blue of them so much more intense and featured how they constantly changed; something that always amazed and fascinated Declan. My lips were garnet red, as was my gown.
My gown was designed by none other than Michelle Nagem. It was the deepest shade of garnet; a shade that carried much blue, strapless and looped the top of one arm. At the waist, the fabric seemed to split into two pieces, with one side appearing gently pleated. Both sides flowed to the floor in an elegant puddle. My matching sandals could be seen as a peek-a-boo element as the gown sashayed when I walked. I wore simple diamond earrings to complement the ensemble.
Yes, the woman staring back at me was surely Cinderella. I only hoped that amongst all of these people, some of the world’s most beautiful, she didn’t turn into a pumpkin.
Declan said nothing for several minutes as his eyes rested on me. He’d never seen me so dressed up like this before. I was unsure of his reaction. When his eyes met mine, I was surprised to see them misty, and my heart softened at his display of emotion. T
“How did I ever get so lucky?” he said in a voice that betrayed his sentiments.
He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it, a gesture that never failed to make me feel cherished.
“I know the answer to that,” I answered softly. “You happen to like the beach…and coffee.”
With that, he broke into a grin and used the hand he held to pull me closer to him.
“I have something for you,” he said, reaching into his pocket, and he pulled out a box. “Open it.”
I opened the box to find a bracelet with a diamond starfish.
“Oh, Declan! It’s lovely! Can I wear it tonight?”
“I was hoping you would,” he said as he removed the piece and placed it on my wrist.
“It sparkles so prettily, and it isn’t overdone. I love it.” I tilted up to kiss him. “Thank you.”
“Everyone will be looking at you tonight; you do realize that, right?” He narrowed his eyes, smiled and warned “I may become violent if anyone gets too close…”
I shook my head and laughed at him. Did he even hear the statement he just made? The most elite and beautiful people in the fashion industry would be in attendance tonight, and I seriously dou
bted that I’d be a visible threat in a room filled with supermodels. Declan was partial because he loved me. The old saying “love is blind” came to mind, but I went along with his frivolity and continued to laugh. He became serious and gave me a very stern look. Obviously, he didn’t think the idea was as ludicrous as I did.
“You truly don’t see just how beautiful you are, and that’s another ‘beautiful’ element about you.” Looking in my eyes he confirmed his statement by nodding. He then tilted my chin up toward him and placed his forehead on mine. “At times, I feel almost ashamed to be in your presence, you are simply the most genuine person I have ever known, and I love you.”
I could feel the honesty in his words, but now wasn’t a time for my appreciation and affection to unravel. This was his night. I wanted him to have fun, so I attempted to detour the route we were taking.
“You’re sweet, and a little crazy, but stop. We have a party to attend!” I tried to lighten his sudden serious mood as I was uncomfortable with his praise.
“Don’t tell me to stop. You have no idea how superficial the world I used to live in had made me. You’ll get a taste of it tonight, so be prepared. There will be some people there that are beautiful on the outside, but trust me; there are monsters inside of them, they just hide them well. I know that you don’t see yourself the way that others do, so I wanted to tell you before we get there.” He pulled me close to him and spoke his words against the pulse of my throat, causing it to beat faster. TT
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