Can't Fight the Feeling

by Sandy James

  “I guess we have a problem,” he said as he looked to Brad. “Who’s gonna take the headline spot while she’s on maternity leave?” His glance shifted to Ethan. “Unless you guys happen to know another country music star who might be willing to fill in for a while.” He tossed a win at Chelsea.

  “Sorry,” Chelsea replied. “I’ve got the Australian tour that starts in July.”

  Russ shifted his gaze to Ethan. “Well, then. Looks like you’ll have to sing, partner.”

  “Fuck you,” Ethan replied in a teasing lilt. “I’ll be in Australia with my wife.”

  “Wife?” Joslynn was on her feet again. “You’re getting married?”

  “Yeah,” Chelsea said. “I finally decided to keep the guy. We were going to tell everyone tonight, but…” She stared at Brad. “Someone decided to let their own cat out of the bag first.”

  “When?” Savannah asked, reaching over to lay a hand on Chelsea’s arm.

  Ethan rubbed the back of his neck. “About that…” Then he looked at Chelsea.

  “We were married last Wednesday by a judge,” she announced.

  The table erupted in happy noise as the men slapped Ethan on the back and Joslynn and Savannah converged on Chelsea.

  * * *

  Russ shook Ethan’s hand. “I can’t say I’m surprised. I knew when you two tied the knot you’d keep it private.”

  “Yeah,” Brad added, “but I figured we’d be there.”

  Ethan shrugged. “You know me. Once I made up my mind, I didn’t want to wait. And Chel didn’t want anyone to have a chance to find out and alert the press. Her assistant, Addie, set the whole thing up. She got the license, sent us to a judge, and…voilà. I’m a married man.”

  “Wait ’til the reporters get wind of this.” Russ felt a little sorry for them. They’d had to celebrate one of what should be their happiest days in absolute secrecy to keep from having the wedding blasted all over the place. “I can’t believe no one picked up on you getting a marriage license.”

  “Addie gave the clerk a nice financial incentive to keep the news to himself,” Ethan replied. “Chelsea is going to have her publicist make a quick announcement early next week. That’s why we wanted to tell y’all today. Sorry you guys couldn’t stand up with me.”

  Brad cuffed Ethan’s shoulder. “We’re just glad you were able to have some peace and quiet instead of flashes going off in your face.”

  Cocking his head, Russ considered his partners. Their lives were changing for the better. A new wife. A baby on the way. Everything was lining up perfectly for both of them.

  Then he glanced to Joslynn, and a warm contentment filled him. She was sitting with Savannah and Chelsea, and the three were laughing and hugging and swiping away happy tears.

  Maybe my life is lining up perfectly too…

  Unless I end up like my father.

  * * *

  Joslynn sighed, her heart full of happiness for her friends.

  Savannah had always confided that she hoped to give Caroline a brother or sister, and the joy of the baby news was clear. And knowing how much Chelsea loved Ethan, Jos wasn’t surprised they’d married. Add the fact that they’d done so without any disturbance by the paparazzi made the event doubly special.

  Just seeing their lives play out so perfectly made Jos think of Russ. A quick glance saw him with a grin on his face as he spoke with Brad and Ethan. As though he knew she was watching him, he looked in her direction. The heart-stopping dimple was there, making her heart skip a beat.

  She’d never thought much about her future aside from her medical career. Marriage and family seldom crossed her mind. Yet as she felt herself smile at Russ in return, those notions flooded her thoughts.

  Something about being with him was so natural.

  With other men, she’d often felt smothered, as though she couldn’t be herself when she was with them. Sure, she enjoyed dating. She enjoyed sex. But she didn’t enjoy simply being with them. Even when she and Russ weren’t doing anything special, she was comfortable with him.

  He fits.

  With a shake of her head, Joslynn left the thought behind, not wanting to examine it for fear of finding herself in too deep.

  Only time would tell.

  * * *

  Every time he stepped into Josie’s home—the Cottage—Russ was struck by how damn clean the place was. The carpet bore the lines left in the vacuum’s wake without a footprint to be found. The kitchen was spotless, the gleaming surface of the stainless-steel sink and appliances reflecting the light. There wasn’t a single dish in the drain tray.

  She had to hate his place. “Organized chaos,” his mother always called it. Russ wasn’t sure the “organized” was accurate, although he was always able to find what he needed with minimal searching. Josie probably arranged the clothes in her closet by color and style. Were the hangers evenly spaced?

  Most of his clothes ended up on the floor or draped over some furniture.

  “Want a drink?” she asked as she hung up the hoodie she hadn’t worn in the coat closet.

  Leaning his hip against the kitchen island, he shook his head. After the shitty way things had gone at the cookout, he wanted to clear the air. He wasn’t about to cloud his thoughts with booze.

  She walked past him into the kitchen and plucked a glass for herself from the cabinet. Setting it aside, she pulled a can from the refrigerator and poured herself some soda, which she sipped as she stared at him.

  “Quite a night, huh?” he asked.

  “Oh yeah. A new baby. A wedding. A shame we didn’t have something to top it,” she replied with a wink.

  He reached out to run his hand down her arm. “Maybe one day.”

  Letting out a little snort, she took another sip of soda.

  Unsure of what that derisive noise meant, Russ frowned. Since his revelation back at Brad’s place, he’d felt a nagging need to find out if Josie had developed feelings for him. Not that he expected her to love him. Not yet.

  But he wanted her to open up to him.

  He needed her to.

  “We should talk about…things,” he said. “About us. About why I was so jealous.” Standing in the kitchen seemed too impersonal, so he nodded at the sofa. “How about we sit down?”

  She took a rather long drink before setting the glass on the countertop. Then she led the way to the couch.

  He joined her, leaning forward to rest his forearms against his thighs and feeling awkward. What he wanted was to hear that she cared, even if only just a little bit. Deep down, he thought she did—hoped she did.

  He wasn’t leaving until she told him one way or the other.

  God, he felt vulnerable, sitting there with his heart in his hand, hoping she’d take it from him and protect it instead of tossing it right back at him. Not that he was about to tell her that he loved her. After spending so much time with Josie, Russ knew exactly what would happen if he admitted the intensity of his feelings.

  She’d freeze him out.

  Although he was being impatient—another of his bad personality traits—he wanted to know if he even had a chance for the “something more” he wanted from her.

  Simply having her sitting by his side was making it difficult to think. Everything about her called to him. The warmth of her thigh against his. The sweet scent of her perfume. It took all his concentration not to grab her and kiss her. At least when she was in his arms, he could feel that she wanted him.

  “I feel like I should apologize again,” she said.

  “Funny, I was just about to say the same thing. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did to you dancing with Marc.”

  Joslynn turned to smile at him. “I’ve learned something important, which makes me understand why you were so upset.”

  Russ smiled back. “And what was that?”

  “Relationships aren’t easy.”

  A laugh spilled out as he leaned back, and he was pleased she laughed as well.

  Then she reached over to take
his hand in hers. “I didn’t realize dancing with some other guy was that big of a…thing.”

  “And I didn’t realize how jealous I could be. You know, I’ve never been jealous before.”

  Her brows knit. “Really? Not once?”

  “Not once.” He shrugged. “I’m not like Ethan and Brad. I haven’t dated all that much. Never had a relationship that was very long-term.”

  “A guy that looks like you? An NFL player? I find that hard to believe.”

  “A lot of the players slept around. I’ll admit it. I didn’t.” He shrugged again. “Maybe my parents taught me better. It just wasn’t something I wanted to do.”

  She squeezed his hand. “At least we’re starting out on equal footing since I’ve never really settled on one guy before. This is new for both of us.”

  Russ was fighting an internal battle to just say “fuck it” and drag Joslynn to the bedroom. Holding her hand shouldn’t be at all erotic. But it was. The way she rubbed her thumb against his palm was enough to make him hard.

  Then a picture of her in Marc’s arms made him see red for a moment, and he huffed out a breath, angry at himself for his irrational jealousy.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  He replied with a question of his own. “Do you know why it was so hard to see you dancing with Marc?”

  “I thought we covered that.”

  “I didn’t mean Marc; I meant dancing.”

  “What’s bad about dancing?”

  “Because it can be so…intimate.” The sound system drew his attention. He got to his feet and strode across the small room. The flick of a switch followed by a quick adjustment of the station and he found exactly what he was looking for. Soft jazz filled the room. With a crook of his finger, he said, “Dance with me.”

  Rising, she gave him a coy smile. “I don’t know…Maybe I’m all danced out for the night.”

  “Dance with me, sweetheart.”

  She drew closer. “If you insist.”

  Before she could react, he tugged her against him and wrapped his arms around her waist.

  Instead of resisting as he’d expected, Josie looped her arms around his neck and melted against him. Her body fit his as though she were made for him.

  Swaying gently with the music, Russ brushed his lips against her ear and whispered, “Did you notice how well we fit?”

  “I did,” she whispered back. Then she rubbed her cheek against his shoulder.

  “Doesn’t that show you we belong together?”

  This time she didn’t reply, and he could almost feel her pulling back emotionally.

  Frustrated and impatient, he stiffened. “I’m falling for you, Josie.” When she shrugged in response, he released her and fought the urge to walk out. “Why can’t you just admit that you care about me?”

  “Words don’t matter, Russ. Actions do. I’m here with you. That speaks volumes.”

  “Josie…”

  “What do you want from me?” The panic was plain in her tone.

  “I need to know that I matter to you. I need to hear the words.”

  She reached for his hand and squeezed. “Why can’t I just show you?”

  His lips pulled into a grim line. “Tell me how you feel about me.”

  Her hand dropped. “Why?”

  Her hesitation worried him, and for a moment he wondered if he’d read her all wrong.

  No. No. She cares.

  She has to care.

  “Because I have to know.” A deep breath didn’t help control his rising temper much. “Tell me how you feel about me, Josie.”

  She shook her head, and he noticed that her hands were trembling when she folded her arms around her middle.

  Russ felt as though a band had wrapped around his chest and started to squeeze, stealing his breath. “If we’re gonna stay a couple, I can’t do all the work. You have to tell me you’re in this too,” he demanded. “I have to know that I’m not the only one whose feelings are on the line.”

  Her head bowed. “I…can’t.”

  Although the part of him that loved her wanted to let her off the hook when he heard the tremor in her voice, he couldn’t stop pushing her. Desperate with fear, he let his voice rise to a near shout. “Tell me you care about me, or I’m leaving.”

  Her head snapped up and she let out a gasp. “You’d do that? Over a few stupid words, you’d walk out?”

  “You promised to be honest, and that’s all I’m asking. Be honest and tell me that I matter to you.”

  “You’re being unreasonable,” she insisted.

  “Why can’t you say it?” he demanded.

  Joslynn stomped into the kitchen and tossed the glass in the sink. When she turned back to face him, she was breathing hard.

  “Say it, Josie.”

  She threw her hands in the air. “Fine! I care for you! I admit it! Why was it so fucking important that you hear it?”

  Russ reacted as fast as lightning. His hands gripped her shoulders as he walked her backward, pressing her back to the wall. Face hovering so close to hers that her choppy breath brushed his lips, he savored the anticipation of kissing her. Once he let his lips meet hers, he would never be able to stop touching her until they were both naked in her bed.

  So he waited, looking deeply into her dark eyes, pleased to see passion simmering there. “Because it means we don’t have to wait anymore. I’m going to make love to you now.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Joslynn never had a chance to catch her breath. Accustomed to being the aggressor and enjoying her power over her lovers, she wasn’t given time to even try to take the reins. The way Russ was kissing her, touching her, flooded her senses.

  She loved how he was taller than she was. Most of her lovers had been fairly close to her height, which gave her a bit of an advantage. She could always look them directly in the eye, and in her mind, being eye to eye gave her a level playing field.

  Everything about the intimacies she shared with Russ was different. She had to rise on tiptoes to kiss him, which was easier if she draped her arms around his neck. Rubbing against him was so erotic.

  His scent surrounded her, filled her, as did his taste. Their tongues mated, chasing from one mouth to the other as he slid his palms down her back to cup her ass. Then he pulled her hard against him.

  She let out a low moan when she felt his erection rubbing against her. “I want you,” she whispered.

  Instead of replying, he buried his lips against her neck, nibbling and licking and driving her insane.

  After tilting her head to give Russ more access to her sensitive neck, Joslynn raked her fingers through his hair, loving the way the buzz cut tickled her skin. By the time he worked his way up to her ear, she was panting with desire.

  “I want you,” she said, her voice a little louder and full of demand.

  His deep voice rumbled against her temple. “Patience.” When he ran his tongue around the ridges of her ear, she shivered.

  Patience? Was he nuts?

  One thing she’d learned about sex was that desire could be fleeting. If his blood was running as hot as hers at that moment, the two of them shouldn’t be wasting time. With anyone else, she would already be leading him to her bedroom.

  It was clear that Russ Green wasn’t about to be led anywhere. He was piloting this encounter, and all Jos could do was hang on tight and enjoy the ride.

  * * *

  The huskiness in her voice was almost his undoing.

  Russ wanted to take his time, to make their first time together special. He might not have the experience with women that Ethan and Brad did, but his feelings for Josie were inspiring all sorts of creative ideas on what he wanted to do to her. With her.

  Her gorgeous face and stunning body had haunted his dreams from the moment he’d seen her emerge from that Georgia pool. Now that he knew she was every bit as stunning inside as out, he only wanted her more.

  Kissing her sent blood racing through his veins and set his heart to
hammering. Her tongue was wild, each stroke sending his desire climbing. It took all his concentration to stop touching her long enough to unbutton her black blouse. His fingers felt thick and clumsy, but he worked his way down until he could part the front and reveal her bra.

  It was a vivid purple. A surprise but something that suited her well. There was nothing conventional about his Josie.

  Before he could go to work on removing more of her clothing, she pulled his shirt out of his jeans and lifted his polo over his head. “Oh my…” she said, staring at his bared chest. When she raked her fingers through the light patch of hair over his pecs and licked her lips, heat rushed to his cock.

  Unable to find any words, he banished her blouse to the floor. Holding eye contact, finding her sensual gaze incredibly arousing, he unzipped her jeans and helped her wriggle out of them. They puddled around her ankles, and she kicked them aside. Only then did he allow himself to take in all of Joslynn.

  Her body was incredible. Not that he didn’t already know that. What she wore as she ran revealed her shape quite well, and the swimsuit she’d worn had shown off each curve. But seeing her bare skin, knowing that for that moment he could touch, could taste every inch of it was almost enough to make him lose control. He leaned in to kiss the butterfly tattoo over her heart. “Sweet Lord, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

  “Flattery will get you just about anything you want, Mr. Green.” She leaned forward to lick one of his nipples.

  Russ hissed out a breath. “I don’t say anything I don’t mean.”

  “Neither do I,” Josie replied before giving his other nipple the same attention. Her fingers nimbly unfastened his button-fly jeans, and he pushed them down and then stepped out of them.

  “A briefs kind of guy,” she said. “But I have to admit, I didn’t expect them to be baby blue.”

  He shrugged, having better things to focus on than his choice of underwear. Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her again as she wrapped her arms around his waist. When they finally broke the kiss long enough to catch his breath, he knew he couldn’t wait much longer to make her his.