by Inara Scott
His stomach lodged somewhere down near his knees. She could be in the bathroom. Or maybe she was just running late. He closed the door behind him and walked into the kitchen. That was when he noticed the slip of paper on the counter.
He almost couldn’t make himself look at it.
Something came up. Had to run. Will call tomorrow –T
The words were scrawled in haste. He stared at them, unblinking, and set the flowers and wine on the counter.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his texts. Nothing from Tess. He called, but she didn’t pick up.
“Just wanted to make sure everything is okay,” he said into her voicemail, trying to keep his voice even. “Call me.”
He refreshed the phone, checked his texts again.
Everything okay? He texted.
Waited. No response.
He scrolled through the possible explanations for what might have “come up.”
One: something unremarkable she had to do at home. Maybe the cable company was finally coming to fix her Wi-Fi. Or she had a leak. Or her neighbor was sick.
But if that was the case, why wouldn’t she have explained what was going on? She could have called or texted at any point.
Unless…
Two: something last night had triggered her to run. She’d decided she didn’t want to see him again, and this was just the first step in her disappearance from his life.
This option was clearly unacceptable. She wasn’t disappearing. No way.
Then again, there was option three: there was an actual emergency in her life. Something he didn’t know about that she hadn’t shared, for reasons that were yet to be determined. This was least acceptable of all.
Whether he was dealing with option one, two, or three, the only possible response seemed obvious. He would have to go to her.
Leaving the flowers behind, he grabbed his keys and headed for the garage. Along the way to her house he refreshed his phone every few minutes, cursing at the blank screen and her failure to respond.
Within a few blocks of her house, he dropped the phone and hit the gas as he realized why she wasn’t texting him back.
Chapter Seventeen
A faint cloud of smoke hung in the air, and there were blockades at the entrance to her street. He parked a few blocks away and ran, the smoke acrid in his throat, growing stronger the closer he got.
“Jesus, no.” He breathed out in horror at the sight of the trucks, lights still flashing red. A small crowd stood in the street. Firefighters in heavy coats, pants, and helmets moved purposefully back and forth from the smoldering charcoal wreck that had once been Tess’s home. A handful of uniformed officers stood behind yellow tape, directing the curious away if they got too close.
Neighbors milling around were speaking a mix of English and Spanish, and he heard several agreeing quietly among themselves that they had been worried this would happen for years. As he got closer, he saw that there was little left of the house. A few rafters and beams, and parts of the first floor still stood, though few walls remained completely intact. Little trails of smoke—or maybe steam, it was hard to tell from the persistent smell that cloaked the area—rose from a few places where the rubble was particularly deep.
But surely she was okay, he told himself, even as panic gripped his throat and sent flashes of weakness through his limbs. Her note meant that someone had told her about the fire, right? She hadn’t been here when it happened. Surely that was the case.
He pushed his way past a group of onlookers, his heart pounding in his chest.
But if she knew about the fire, why hadn’t she called him? Why?
He moved around the crowd as quickly as he could, checking the faces and fighting a rising tide of panic until he finally saw her. She was off to one side of the house, near the fire chief’s truck, surrounded by what he assumed were neighbors. A sturdy Hispanic young man stood on one side, while an older woman with gray hair and a worried expression stood on the other, occasionally unleashing a torrent of Spanish if someone called out to her or got too close.
“Tess?” He called when he was still a few yards away.
She was staring into space, her expression flat, eyes empty. Astro was in her arms, her little white body pushed back against Tess’s chest like she was trying to comfort her. The sight of her filled him with a sick relief and an equally powerful wave of concern. He wanted to grab her and drag her into his arms, but her blank expression stopped him mid-step.
He called her name again, but she didn’t respond. Astro, however, had caught sight of him, and she struggled in Tess’s arms and yipped a greeting. Tess’s two gatekeepers swung suspicious eyes in his direction.
“You here from the city?” the young man called. “Because she doesn’t want to talk right now. Maybe you can call tomorrow.”
“You can bother her tomorrow,” the older woman snapped. “Leave her alone right now.”
“He’s not from the city.” Tess voice was as flat and dead as her eyes, which swung briefly to him and then moved back to the wreckage of her house.
She was obviously in shock. He forced himself to act calm, leaning in to rub Astro’s ears. The dog wriggled around to lick his chin before settling back in Tess’s arms. He turned to the older woman and nodded in greeting. “I’m Mason. A friend of Tess’s.”
“Graciela. Neighbor.” She gestured toward the young man. “This is my grandson Moses.” She squinted at him, and he remembered he was wearing his office clothes. “Do you live nearby?”
He had a vague memory of Tess saying that her neighbor Gracie had helped her take care of her grandmother. This must be the same neighbor. “I was supposed to see Tess for dinner. When she wasn’t there and didn’t respond to my calls, I got worried.”
That was apparently the right thing to say, because Graciela’s stern features softened. “They made us leave our houses when it started because they were worried the wind might spread the fire. I called her as soon as they let us back in. I’m sure it was a shock. You know it was her grandmother’s house.”
He felt a little strange talking about Tess like she wasn’t there, but since she was not responding, he directed the next question at Graciela. “What’s this about someone from the city? Is someone coming to talk to her?”
She shrugged. “We don’t really know, but some people were saying that there would be an investigation to figure out how the fire started. We thought maybe you were part of that.”
“I talked to an officer and gave them my contact information.” Tess surprised them by volunteering the information. “No one is allowed near the scene until they can be sure it’s safe. They said they’ll get back in touch with me tomorrow.” Her back was ramrod straight, but every now and then a shudder ran through her.
His fingers itched to hold her, but he wasn’t sure how she would react if he touched her. “Do you want me to call Cecilia?”
Her eyes widened. She met his gaze for the first time and shook her head definitively. “No. Absolutely not.”
He couldn’t begin to understand why, any more than he could understand why she hadn’t called him, but he nodded reluctantly. “Okay, no Cecilia.”
“You should come home with me,” Graciela said to Tess. “There’s no reason to stay out here.”
Tess’s gaze returned back to what was left of her house. “You know your landlord won’t allow Astro to stay there. Besides, you have more people than beds already.”
“You need a place to stay. We can find a bed. Or you can sleep on the sofa.” Graciela crossed her arms over her chest and stuck out her chin in a stubborn gesture Mason suspected she used quite often.
“I can go stay with my friend Jorge,” Moses offered. “There’s plenty of room for you, Tess.”
He didn’t understand why they were even talking about her staying somewhere else. “Tess?” He waited until she looked at him. “Let’s go back to my place. We can figure things out tomorrow.”
Graciela eye
d him suspiciously, then turned to Tess. She whispered loudly in her ear, “You don’t have to go with him if you don’t want to.”
Mason smiled and bowed, appreciating her concern. “Ms. Graciela, you’re welcome to come with us if you’d like. Just to make sure there’s no funny business.”
She huffed. “That’s not a bad idea.”
Tess held out a tired hand. “Gracie, it’s okay. You don’t need to do that. He’s the one I’ve been staying with in the city. The one with the big dog.”
“Oh!” Gracie’s eyes widened. She turned to Tess with fresh concern. “But why didn’t you tell us he was around? We could have called him.”
Mason had exactly the same question, but he figured now was not the time to ask. Holding out his hands to Astro, he leaned forward and scooped the little dog out of Tess’s arms. “See?” He indicated the little dog with a nod of his head. “Astro trusts me.”
Gracie was unconvinced. “I don’t think I’d let a dog make my decision for me.”
“Even Astro?” Mason stroked her white fur, and she gave him another lick.
Graciela softened. “Okay, maybe Astro.” She held out a finger and shook it in his direction. “If she’s going with you, then you better be careful. Any funny business and you answer to me.”
“And me,” Moses added. He made a show of puffing out his back, which, Mason had to admit, was impressively large.
“Tess?” Mason prompted. “You okay with that?”
“Sure.” Her response was directed somewhere into the air above his head. She turned and gave Graciela a quick smile that barely reached her eyes. “Don’t worry, Gracie, I’ll be fine. I’ll call you in the morning.” She started to pull her car keys from her pocket, but Mason touched her hand.
“Why don’t you let me drive?”
She shook her head, her jaw jutting out. “There’s no reason for that.”
“Tess, honey, I think maybe he’s right. You had a big shock tonight. I don’t like the idea of you driving right now.” Tess looked ready to argue, but Gracie held up her hand. “Your grandma wouldn’t forgive me if I let you drive off like this. You do like I say now, and don’t argue.”
Tess seemed to wilt under the older woman’s fierce regard. “Okay. But I need to come back tomorrow. To talk to the fire people and see if I can salvage anything.”
“Of course. Do you need anything from your car before we go?” Mason asked.
Tess shook her head, indicating the worn messenger bag at her feet. “I have my bag.”
He turned to Graciela. “Can I give you my phone number? In case they need anything and can’t get a hold of Tess.”
“That’s a good idea, but you’ll need to give it to Moses. He can keep it in his cell phone.”
He provided the number to Moses, and then they turned to leave. Graciela gave Tess a forceful hug before taking her by the shoulders and shaking her lightly. “You tell us how we can help you. None of that pride business. People love you; they want to help.”
Tess nodded and waved goodbye. Mason put his arm around her waist. She did not protest or speak as he guided her the several blocks to his car, then stopped beside the passenger door, eyes closed, as he made his way around to the driver’s side. When it became clear that she wasn’t making any move to get inside, he closed the door he had just opened.
“Tess?”
She was shivering, her shoulders hunched. He dropped his keys in his pockets and quickly retraced his steps between them, cursing at himself for leaving her alone, even for a moment. He touched her shoulder, half expecting her to pull away, or flinch, but she didn’t move. He put his hand under her chin, forcing her eyes to meet his, but she wasn’t there. Her eyes were unfocused and hazy.
“Tess, honey, we’re going back to my apartment. Is that okay?”
She took a breath, but it was jagged. When she opened her mouth, nothing came out. Without saying another word, he simply folded her in his arms and held her against him. With one hand, he nestled her head against his chest, and with the other he held her shoulders, imagining he could form a shield around her. Protect her like no one in her life ever had before.
“I’m sorry.” He wanted to stay something like, It’s going to be okay, but couldn’t. She had lost everything she owned, every memento of her childhood and her grandparents. He’d seen that house, the pictures on the mantel, the antique furniture. Every stitch of it now gone. Clothing, books, documents, furniture. All gone. How could that be okay?
“I’m so sorry.” He kissed her hair, then her forehead. He cupped her face in his hand and ran his thumb across her cheekbone. “Please let me help you,” he whispered. “For once, Tess, let someone help.”
And just like that, she began to sob.
They were great, racking sobs, so strong and fierce he imagined they might break her in half. He remembered all she’d been through, and he knew she would survive this. But he still wished he could make it easier. Just a little. But there was so little he could do. He held her closer and stroked her hair, and tried to make her feel protected and safe, if only for a moment.
When the storm had passed, she lifted her head, her eyes swollen and red but focused. She gave him a watery smile. “I soaked your shirt.”
He shrugged. “No more than when Wick gives me a kiss.”
“Are you comparing me to a drooling mastiff?”
He gave her a lopsided smile. “Maybe just a little.”
She sighed and dropped her head back into his chest. “I can’t—”
He interrupted her. “Don’t. Not a word. And I’m not even going to ask why you didn’t call me. Let’s just go.” Keeping one arm around her, he fumbled for a moment with the door handle. Finally, he managed to swing it open. “In.”
She pushed her hair back from her face, a gesture he now knew she did when she was stalling.
“Please,” he added. “Please let me help.”
Her chin trembled. With a sharp nod, she sank into the car.
…
Once he’d folded her into her seat, Tess collapsed against the soft leather, watching the dashboard gleam with subtle lights as he started the car.
She rested her head against the tall seatback and focused on not crying. She wished she were stronger. She wished she didn’t feel so much safer with him.
She wished she didn’t have to rely on him.
There was an ache in her chest that made her feel like collapsing, like folding inward and disappearing into a tiny, unrecognizable speck. She couldn’t do this. There was too much pain.
If only he hadn’t come. She had thought about not even leaving a note, but she knew if she did that he’d worry about her and try to find her. This way, she’d hoped, he would let her go.
Let her disappear.
She should have known he wouldn’t understand. After all, she’d spent nights at his place before—had even intended to stay there tonight. Why not just go back there now? But it was different now. Now she didn’t have a choice. Now she was a burden. Someone to be pitied. Now he would start wondering how to get rid of her.
By the time Gracie had called, the fire was already out. The firefighters told her that older houses were particularly prone to burning—and burning fast. Some had newspaper in the walls for insulation, others had little barriers between floors to prevent spreading. And Tess had already known the wiring was bad, though she couldn’t bring herself to say it.
When she’d seen the wreck of her house, it was like her brain had just stopped, and she couldn’t think or process anything around her, until Mason walked up. And then it was like he’d flipped a switch, and she’d suddenly been able to focus again. To think. Which, given the circumstances, had some serious downsides. Because now she had to think about everything she’d lost, and what she was going to do next.
“I’ll find someplace else to stay tomorrow.”
“You’re not leaving.” His tone was somewhere between a statement and a command.
Tess didn’t wa
nt to argue, so she closed her eyes instead.
“We’ll have to contact your insurance company. Any chance you’ll be able to find your policy information? What’s the name of the company?”
She could barely state the words. “No insurance.”
The car fell silent. She refused to open her eyes.
“No fire insurance? Nothing?”
Are you really that stupid?
“After my grandmother died and I went through her things, I realized she hadn’t had insurance for a while. I think she let it lapse because she didn’t have the money. Or maybe because no one would insure the house.” She gave a short laugh, struggling to keep her composure as she rubbed her hands together in her lap. “I never bothered. It was falling over. I figured I’d just try to outrun the disaster and see if I could get through school before I had to do something about it.”
He was silent, and she imagined she could hear his brain processing exactly how bad the situation was. She had nowhere to stay, other than at his apartment. No money. No way to rebuild. There was no ground under her feet. Everything had been swept away.
He reached out and covered her hand with his own. Almost involuntarily, her fingers intertwined with his. “You sure you don’t want to call Cecilia?”
She shook her head. She’d call her friend tomorrow, when she had some idea of what she was going to do next. “I know you think I’m crazy, but I can’t call Cece. She’ll want to swoop down and fix everything. And I’m not going to let that happen. I’m a total fuck-up, but at least I’ve never had to take handouts from anyone.”
“Is it a handout when it comes from your best friend?”
“Those are the worst kind of handouts.”
She had a little nest egg. A tiny amount of savings she’d managed to squirrel away. Would it even get her through the summer? Housing in the Bay Area was breathtakingly expensive, impossible with a dog.
You’ll have to sell it. You’ll have to sell the land and live off the proceeds.
