Just a Little Kiss

by Renita Pizzitola

  She majored in biology? Figures his best friend would be a girl-genius. Seriously, what did he see in me?

  “Felicity?”

  I glanced up.

  “No one is going to judge you if you struggle with your classes.”

  Sure, he would say that, but once they saw how much I struggled, they’d think I was dumb.

  When I didn’t respond, he went on. “College is hard. Why do you think campuses offer tutoring and study groups and learning labs? It’s because we all need help. I may be able to solve a math equation, but I can’t write a paper to save my life.”

  I stared at my hands. Mason and his friends wouldn’t be at a school like Sutton if they weren’t smart. Just getting admitted there proved they were good students. Me, on the other hand…I was going to fail out of community college.

  “When it comes to school, I promise you, we all have our strengths and weaknesses.”

  Maybe I was being too hard on myself. Though it’d be challenging, and I’d probably have to work twice as hard, maybe I’d be okay. And I had Mason. He’d offer help without judgment. Yeah. I could do this. Or at least I’d try like hell. If a degree was what I needed to get where I wanted to be, then I’d manage. One way or another.

  Mason tilted my chin up. “So what do you think?”

  “I think I like rule number one.” I tucked myself into his chest.

  “Well, you know which rule I like…”

  “Number four.”

  “Four?”

  “Yeah, it’s the one where you stop bringing up rule number three every chance you get.”

  He lowered himself on the couch, pulling me with him. “But three is the fun one.”

  I grinned up at him. “Won’t argue with that.”

  As his mouth lowered to mine, there was rattling at the door.

  Mason groaned. “Oh, yeah, Nate’s stopping by to meet you.”

  Nate, as in the guy who actually lived here? I pushed Mason up, really not wanting my first introduction to the other person paying the rent to involve me lying on the couch.

  I sat up and adjusted my top as the door pushed open. A guy around Mason’s height but with dark brown, almost black hair, walked in.

  “Hey, Nate.”

  “Hey, man, what’s up?” He greeted Mason with a nod then turned to me.

  “This is my girlfriend, Felicity.”

  I’d never actually heard Mason say that word, and it caught me off guard. I mean, we were living together and our relationship was exclusive, but we’d never bothered defining it either.

  I glanced at Mason then turned back to Nate. “Hi.”

  “Hey. Sarah wanted to stop by and meet you but she got called in to work. We should all get together sometime soon though.”

  Mason nodded. “Yeah, for sure. Maybe next weekend before classes start.”

  “That’s cool. I’ll talk to her and we can figure it out.” Nate headed down the hall. “I need to grab some clothes, then I’ll be heading out.”

  Mason plopped back down on the couch and grabbed the remote. He patted the spot next to him, and I sat. “You know he’s cool with this.”

  I checked the hall to make sure Nate was out of earshot. “It feels weird living here while he’s paying the rent.”

  Mason lowered his voice and said, “For the record, his parents are loaded. They are paying the rent. Trust me, he doesn’t give a shit who lives here.”

  Either way, I was freeloading, and that didn’t sit well with me.

  “He’s doing the same thing at his girlfriend’s place, you know.” Mason put his arm around my shoulder. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Maybe I can help with bills or something.”

  “Like I said, his parents are paying. He couldn’t care less.”

  “But what about you? I can help with your half.”

  Mason shifted his gaze. “Uh, between work and all that extra money I made this summer, it’s no big deal.”

  “It is to me.”

  He glanced at me then looked away again. “Save your money, Felicity.”

  What the heck was that supposed to mean? Was I a charity case to him?

  “Look, my parents help me out too.”

  “Oh.” I’d never really considered Mason’s financial state. He had a nice car, but he also had a job busting his ass in the sun. It never occurred to me he may not need that job.

  “And anyway, this is just temporary, right? You’ll have your own place soon. Save up while you can.” He shifted, his eyes making contact with mine long enough for me to feel as if he was waiting for something. But what, I wasn’t sure. Maybe a confirmation that I was still in fact planning to move and not freeload forever.

  “Yeah. Of course. Just waiting to hear from the apartment leasing agent. But maybe I should call a few other places and see if something’s opened up elsewhere. With summer ending, you never know.”

  He turned away and nodded. “Yeah. That’s true. Or you could just see where you are on the waiting list at University Oaks. If you’re moving up the list, no point in wasting more money on deposits.”

  I hadn’t even thought about checking in…but it seemed he had. Was he being helpful, or was there more to it than that? If I didn’t get my own place soon, was Mason worried I’d eventually overstay my welcome?

  Chapter 28

  Felicity

  “So I’ve been thinking,” Elise called out from her desk. She spun in her chair to face where I sat sorting pictures. “I know you said you didn’t need help with money for school…”

  Which had been a huge lie. My classes could be paid in three installments, but between the first payment and my apartment deposit to hold my spot on the waiting list, my savings account was going to be down to less than fifty bucks. I had no clue where I’d find the money for the next two installments once I had rent and bills to worry about.

  “But what if you used my studio space for a few hours every Sunday to earn some extra money? I could spread a little word of mouth with clients looking for family photos on a budget. I’d tell them you’re my intern, we could offer really low rates and tell them you are looking to build your portfolio. It would give you some extra cash to help with school.”

  “That sounds great…but I think it’d only be right if I paid you a percentage for use of your space and equipment.”

  She studied me a minute then smiled. “You’ve got a deal. I’ll take a small percentage for overhead.”

  I smiled back. “Thank you. For everything.”

  “I’m always happy to help, Felicity…that is, when you’ll let me.”

  With a laugh, I went back to sorting pictures, relieved to have found a way to make extra money and eager to share the news with Mason.

  “Oh, and I almost forgot.” She turned back around. “Remember that fundraiser I mentioned?”

  “The one you’re working on with Amy?”

  “That’s the one. Well, it’s an annual benefit for the art department, and since you’re a student now, she said you’re welcome to donate a piece. Would you be interested?”

  “I’d love to.”

  “Great. I’ll let her know. Tomorrow let’s look through your pictures, and I can help you choose one. The show’s in two weeks, which gives us plenty of time to get it ready.”

  “I’ll bring in my laptop.”

  “Perfect.” She spun back to her desk. “Why don’t we call it a day? I need to run by the fabric store and pick up some stuff for the shoot tomorrow. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure that’s my nephew blowing up your phone with texts today.”

  “I’m sorry, I turned the ringer down but I’ll turn it off next time.”

  She waved her hand. “Don’t worry about it. I’m teasing. Between you and me, Mason happens to be my favorite nephew, and I couldn’t be happier that he has a girl like you in his life.”

  “He is pretty great.”

  She smiled. “Agreed. Now get your stuff and let’s get out of here.”

  Once
in my car I pulled out my phone to call Mason, but noticed his number wasn’t the only missed call. I also had a message from one I didn’t recognize.

  I played the voicemail.

  “Hi, Felicity. This is Heather at University Oaks. I’m happy to tell you we’ve had an apartment open up, and you are welcome to come by today and pick up your paperwork. You can move in as early as tomorrow. We need an answer as soon as possible though, and if I don’t hear from you by tomorrow morning, we will move on to the next person on the waiting list. Talk to you soon. ’Bye.”

  After my conversation with Mason, I had planned to call them…eventually. Guess we didn’t need to worry about me overstaying my welcome anymore.

  I tapped the number to return the call and let them know I was on my way before they moved on down the list.

  After speaking with the leasing agent, I tried to call Mason, but he didn’t answer.

  I scrolled through his earlier texts.

  Mason: I’m heading out to meet with my academic adviser so I might not be here when you get home. Think about what you want to do for dinner. We can go out or order in.

  I messaged him back, telling him I was on my way home, but didn’t mention the apartment yet. Rule number two was that we’d avoid surprises by talking with each other, but this wasn’t something I wanted to mention in a text.

  —

  My new apartment paperwork sat piled in front of me on the kitchen table. This was it. What I’d wanted. What I needed. Time to move out. Which was good. My own place. But I wasn’t nearly as excited as I thought I’d be. In fact, I wasn’t excited at all. The thought of not going to sleep and waking with Mason by my side made me sad.

  Crap. When did I get this bad? I lived on a boat by myself; why was this so much harder? In my new apartment, I’d have a roommate at least. Granted, I had no idea who she’d be or what she’d be like. But I wouldn’t be alone.

  Except I wanted Mason as my roommate. Dammit.

  My phone chimed with a text, and I dug it out of my purse.

  Isla: Did you get your new apartment paperwork?

  I’d called Isla on my way to sign the lease, mostly because I’d needed a pep talk. I hadn’t told her I’d been confused by how it made me feel, but I knew she’d be excited for me, and I’d hoped that excitement would rub off. Unfortunately, it hadn’t helped.

  Me: Yeah.

  Isla: This is a good thing, right?

  Me: Yeah.

  Isla: Have you told Mason yet?

  Me: No. Ugh. What have I gotten myself into?

  My phone rang, and I raised it to my ear.

  “What’s wrong?” Isla asked, genuine worry in her tone. “I thought you’d be happy about getting your own apartment, but you didn’t sound like it earlier, and you don’t sound like it now.”

  “I am happy, but something about this also makes me sad. I like things the way they are and…I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  Isla feigned shock. “Wait? Are you saying this isn’t just a fling?”

  “God, I wish. That would make it so much easier,” I groaned.

  “So how bad is it?”

  I stared at my lease agreement and sighed. “I think I love him.”

  “Whoa. Didn’t expect that. I knew you were pretty head over heels for the guy but love? Man…Are you going to tell him?”

  “I don’t want to scare him off. Not to mention, he brought up the apartment situation yesterday. Mentioned how our living together was temporary. I don’t know, Isla. What if he wants me out? What if he doesn’t feel the same way as me? I thought we could both be headed in that direction, but now I’m confused.” I leaned back in my chair and stared at the ceiling. “Dammit. When did it get so complicated? He was supposed to be a Summer Boy.”

  “But now you want fall and winter?”

  “I want the whole freaking calendar.”

  “Then I think you should tell him.”

  Maybe I should, but if he didn’t feel the same way, I’d be crushed. Just the thought alone made my chest feel all tight and constricted like I couldn’t breathe. My skin grew hot, and my body buzzed. “I can’t tell him. No. That’d be crazy. We haven’t been together long enough and really, I think this is where you’re supposed to talk me off the ledge. You aren’t supposed to let me fall. You’re supposed to save me from myself. I’m in over my head here.”

  “Whoa, girl. Calm down. Deep breath.” She took one herself as if to remind me how to breathe. “I don’t want you to have another panic attack.”

  “What? I’ve never had a panic attack.”

  “Like back when you first broke up with Brody? You said you always woke up unable to breathe and stuff. You know, panic attacks.”

  “Those weren’t…It was insomnia.”

  “Um, I’m pretty sure they were panic attacks. I figured you knew. You know, it’s not uncommon for people with anxiety to have them.”

  “I don’t have anxiety.” Sure, I worried about everything and stressed out more than I should, but it wasn’t like a clinical thing.

  “Um, I didn’t mean to blindside you with this, but really, I thought you knew.” She was quiet but when I didn’t say anything, she went on. “My grandma has it too. It’s not a bad thing. I mean it can get out of control for some people, but you always seem to handle it well, unless you’re under a lot of stress.”

  I’d never noticed her grandma seeming anxious. But then again, how much did I really know about anxiety disorder?

  “I’m sorry. I overstepped. Are you upset?”

  “No, not at all. I just…I mean yeah, I worry…but doesn’t everyone?”

  “Yeah. And maybe I’m wrong. Look, I shouldn’t have brought it up. So what are you going to do about Mason?”

  My mind still reeled over what she’d said, but I tried to dismiss it. I’d know if I had anxiety problems. Just because I could be anxious at times didn’t mean I had a disorder. “Uh, I don’t know. I’m scared he won’t feel the same way, and like I said, maybe I’ve overstayed my welcome at his place.”

  “I doubt that. It was his idea in the first place. And regardless of where you live, you can still be in love with each other.”

  “I know, but what if I’m wrong about that too? What if I think I love him but realize later this isn’t love? Then I’d feel crappy for saying it in the first place.”

  “Well, it’s your choice. And I guess I can’t be sure what he is to you, but I can tell you three things he’s definitely not—”

  “He’s home. Oh, shit. Talk to you later.” I hung up and tossed my bag over my phone and the lease.

  The key rattled in the top lock so I jumped up and opened the fridge. I reached for a bottled water as the door opened.

  “Hey.” I turned and let the fridge shut behind me. “How did it go?”

  “It was fine. Can’t say I’m looking forward to my course load this semester, but my adviser seems to think I’m on the right track.”

  “That’s good.” I leaned against the counter and twisted the lid off my drink.

  “So did you decide if you want to go grab a bite to eat, or did you want to order in?”

  “I don’t care. You decide.”

  “Let’s go out. With classes starting tomorrow, we’ll both be pretty busy. Who knows when we’ll get another chance?” He smiled. “Plus, I’ve never taken you on a date.”

  I grinned. “Have you really already forgotten about our third date?”

  He smirked. “How could I ever forget that night?” He reached for my hand and tugged me closer. “But we both know that was an excuse to get a first kiss.” His forehead pressed to mine. “I want to take you on a real date.”

  “I’d like that.” I tiptoed up and kissed him. “Let me change real quick.” I pulled away, and his hand lingered on my waist until it finally slipped down my side.

  I stepped into the room as Mason called out, “Have you seen my phone? I didn’t have it with me today. I think I left it here.”

  �
�No, I haven’t.”

  “It’s got to be here somewhere, or maybe I dropped it in my car. I hope I didn’t lose it. Mind if I use your phone to call it?”

  I froze. The lease. Shit, I needed to tell him before he thought I was hiding it from him.

  I scrambled back into the living room right as Mason picked up my phone, except his eyes moved right over the lease and settled squarely on my phone. His expression twisted into something I’d never seen. Like hurt. Then betrayal. Followed by anger. He swiped his finger over the screen, stared at it a minute then finally looked up at me.

  But if it wasn’t the lease, what had him so outraged?

  He took a deep breath then tossed my phone onto the table and stormed out.

  What the hell?

  “Mason,” I called, but the slamming of the front door was all that answered.

  I scooped up my phone and read the screen. It was the series of earlier texts from Isla followed by new ones.

  Isla: A fling. A Summer Boy. Your ticket out of here.

  Isla: If you want my opinion, you should tell him everything you told me.

  Oh God. She was just finishing exactly where I’d cut her off. Three things he wasn’t. But when read with the previous texts, it sounded as if it was all a part of the same conversation. So when I asked What have I gotten myself into? this was her response. But what he didn’t know was she wanted me to tell him I loved him.

  I rushed outside the apartment and ran to the end of the breezeway to get a better view of the parking lot. Mason’s car was nowhere to be found. Shit. I pressed his name on my phone and held it to my ear while pacing along the corridor. His phone rang several times, then voicemail picked up.

  Wait. His phone may be in the apartment somewhere. I called it again and rushed inside to listen for it, but never heard it ringing.

  I had no clue if he’d even get the message but I tried, anyway.

  Me: That’s not what it sounded like. Please let me explain.

  My eyes welled with tears, making the screen blurry as I typed a message to him. I stared at my phone for several minutes, waiting for the little notification that showed he was typing a reply, but it never came. He had every reason to be hurt by what he’d read, but if he heard me out…I called him again, but it went straight to voicemail. A heaviness settled over my chest. He’d found his phone.