by Shona Husk
‘What girl?’ He played dumb. He hadn’t realised that Ed had seen him with Ava.
‘Like that.’ Ed shook his head. ‘I don’t know how you go from hello to bed in under five minutes.’
Mike grunted. ‘When you leave all self-respect at the door and you lower your standards, it’s amazing what can be achieved.’
‘She didn’t look like that kind of girl.’
‘She’s not.’ But he didn’t know what she was either. More than a friend. Not a girlfriend … although for the first time in a year he was seeing how having a girlfriend would be a good thing. The idea of a quick and unmemorable fuck wasn’t doing much for him at the moment. ‘She’s one of Mum’s nurses and she rides so we’ve met up a few times.’
And now they’d kissed. His tongue pressed against the inside of his lip ring. It had been the kind of kiss that left him wanting more and yet not wanting more in case sex ruined what was happening.
His head was all kinds of messed up. Enough talking. ‘We going to sit here and gossip, or surf?’
The waves were steady. He should be able to manage it.
‘It’s not too big for you?’ Ed leaned forward and paddled in to where the waves started to form without waiting for an answer.
‘Only one way to find out.’ But there was no one to hear.
***
The house wasn’t the best, but the share house was within riding distance to work, was affordable and she only had to share with two other women. One of whom was older and worked in the mines so wasn’t there most of the time; really it was more like sharing with one person.
It was, however, the nicest place she’d seen that suited what she was looking for, and if she changed her mind in six months’ time she could find somewhere else. But they were her choices. And she’d be free to make them. So, after deliberating for a day, she’d accepted.
That had been easier than the moving out part.
Announcing that she’d found somewhere to live had caused Grandmother to clutch at her chest and pull a faint. There was nothing wrong with the old woman’s heart. She’d listened, had even suggested seeing a doctor and getting a referral to a specialist the last time she’d pulled that trick. Not surprisingly, Grandmother had recovered swiftly this time, blaming the shock. Shock was anything that she didn’t like and had no control over.
Like Ava moving out.
Her father had fussed over his mother. Ava had noticed that her mother had sat there waiting for the kerfuffle to fade, then asked where the house was and if she planned on taking her bedroom furniture.
The end result was that she’d been allowed to take what was in her room. Ava didn’t say it, but she’d been prepared to buy a cheap bed suite from one of those discount furniture stores. There was no way she was going to let a lack of bed stop her from leaving.
Her father had suggested she’d made her point and that was enough.
It wasn’t about making points. He didn’t get that. That he had even suggested she was disrespecting him and his mother for moving out proved he really didn’t understand. Then her parents had argued.
That, she hated.
Both of her parents were at work today and neither had offered to help. Grandmother, hovering nearby, fingering her beads and praying for Ava to stop walking the path to ruin.
‘Jesus, I wish she’d let up,’ Rose whispered.
‘Don’t swear,’ Ava murmured. Grandmother could hear cuss words from up the street.
‘Or what? If I was going to be struck down it would’ve happened by now.’ Rose shook her head. ‘I refuse to live my life like some cloistered princess, only to be set free for marriage—which would be like swapping the frying pan for the fire.’
That was pretty much how Ava felt. There was more to life than marriage. ‘Are you still …’ Ava lifted her eyebrows. Rose was seeing someone and discovering just how hard it was to not mention that she had a boyfriend.
Rose nodded, and emptied a drawer full of clothing into a large rubbish bag.
They were going for speed, not neatness. With the bed loaded into the van she’d hired for the day, it was just a case of emptying the dresser and shifting the desk. ‘How was your Australia Day?’
‘Interesting.’ Ava smiled.
‘Interesting how?’
Grandmother walked up the hallway, praying as she eavesdropped. Ava was pretty sure Grandmother wasn’t being very Christian in her attitude. If she pulled a faint now, she knew she’d get no help. She’d managed to push both her granddaughters away with her demands.
‘From the balcony we got a much better view of the fireworks than we would’ve from the foreshore. It is totally worth being organised and booking in advance.’ That hadn’t been what she’d planned on saying, but as Grandmother moved on Ava realised she wasn’t quite ready to talk about Mike.
Rose grinned and shook her head. ‘Next year maybe.’ Then she lowered her voice. ‘That wasn’t what I meant.’
‘I know.’ Ava emptied her desk drawers into a small box. There would be stuff she’d need to sort out later. If she’d been thinking ahead she’d have started sorting out already. But all she’d been thinking about lately was Mike.
‘Let’s get the desk out and you can tell me.’
‘What makes you think that there’s anything to tell?’ Was it obvious that she was seeing, no, not seeing, interested, in someone? She picked up the end of the desk and made Rose walk backwards. Her sister stuck out her tongue.
They walked past Grandmother in the lounge room.
‘So how did you find the cup? I’m thinking about getting one.’ Rose gave Ava a wink.
Ava pulled a face. Her sister liked nothing better than to grab a stick and poke the beehive.
‘Great.’ Unlike Rose she kept her voice down. ‘It was great. A little awkward to get in, but I’ll definitely use it again.’
Rose started laughing then nearly fell over her own feet as they went out the front door. She put the desk down. ‘I’m sorry.’ She kept laughing. ‘Replace cup with cock it’s hilarious!’ And she started laughing again.
Ava tried to keep a straight face, but she couldn’t. ‘Don’t use that word.’
‘Cock. Cock. Cock.’
‘Shhh.’
‘Don’t be such a prude.’
‘I’m not.’ She wasn’t. Just because she hadn’t had sex didn’t make her a prude. She wanted to have sex. And while she’d thought about it with her last boyfriend, the one she’d kept secret, it hadn’t felt right. Maybe because she had to keep him a secret. When Mike had kissed her though …
Now she knew what women meant when they said their knees went weak.
There had been a moment when she’d wanted to do more. But there was nowhere to go and she didn’t know him that well. However, lust had bitten her hard and she’d liked it.
She looked at her sister, still pulling herself together. Had Rose done more than kiss?
No, she’d have said something. They didn’t keep things from each other. They only had each other—Grandmother had tried to put them at odds many times. But Rose and Ava saw through the games after the first few attempts and it had brought them closer together.
‘Can we get this in the van now?’
Rose nodded. ‘Did it feel weird … the cup?’
‘Only when I didn’t put it in right.’
That was enough to send her sister into anther fit of laughter. This was going to take all day. After today, though, she’d see her sister less.
‘You can come and visit me any time, you know that?’
‘Yeah, but it won’t be the same, and now I’ll have no backup here.’
‘It might be easier.’ Maybe having one daughter move out might shake things up for better, not worse.
‘Pfft. She’ll turn her evil eye on me, since you are out of reach.’ Rose was probably right.
‘You’ll have to make yourself unsuitable.’ Ava mimicked Grandmother’s tone.
‘Working on it.’ Rose gave
her a wink as she jumped out of the van.
Ava had been joking. She wasn’t sure that Rose was. They walked back to the house. Maybe they weren’t as close as Ava had thought. After all, if she wasn’t willing to talk about Mike, what was her sister not willing to share?
Chapter 9
After putting it off for almost a week, Mike pulled Gemma aside before they got stuck into finishing the song they were working on. ‘Is Kirsten here?’
‘Yeah. In the house. Why?’
‘Got a proposition for you both.’
She narrowed her eyes. ‘If you were Dan I’d have punched you in the arm already.’
Mike looked at her for a moment. ‘Ew … unless you’re into that.’
Gemma slapped him in the arm and shook her head.
He laughed. ‘It’s serious and nothing like that.’
Ménages were overrated. Or he’d been doing it wrong … he hadn’t given it a second go to find out.
She considered him for a moment. ‘Okay.’
He followed her into the downstairs living area. Kirsten was stretched out on the sofa, watching TV and playing on her phone.
‘Hey.’ She glanced up at him.
Now he was here he wasn’t quite sure what to say without it sounding as though he needed a favour. If he hesitated too long Gemma would think he was being weird. Spit it out already. ‘I know you two are looking to get your own place, but would you be interested in sharing Mum’s place?’
If they didn’t want to, he was going to have to get Dan out of the flat and get someone in paying full rent, but that would mean living with Dan. No sane person could do that—Lisa definitely wasn’t sane and he didn’t know the full story.
‘I don’t know … we’d kind of hoped to be on our own.’ Kirsten glanced at Gemma.
‘You can have the master suite …’ he closed his eyes. ‘I can’t.’ He opened them and sighed. Gemma would read between the lines anyway. ‘I’ve got to let a room so I thought I’d offer it to you first as I know you won’t trash the place while I’m, while we’re, touring.’
‘It would be cheaper,’ Gemma said.
‘So we could move out sooner.’
At least they were considering it. He hated being seen as a charity case. His mother had never taken a handout because they were for those in need. Looking back to his primary school years, he was pretty sure they’d qualified. By the time he’d hit high school his mother had turned things around. If she’d asked for help, it might have happened sooner.
‘Have a think about it anyway.’ He wanted someone in before the end of the month. February already. Where had January gone? The year was sliding through his fingers and he had barely got going.
‘What happens when you get a girlfriend?’
‘Or you pick up?’ Gemma added, one eyebrow raised and her eyes hard and knowing.
He looked at the floor and tried to ignore the heat that raced up his neck. There were no real secrets on the road. But he wasn’t proud of the way he’d behaved, even though it had been fun at the time. ‘I don’t bring one-offs home, ever.’ Before the tour he’d never even had a one-night stand. ‘And if I get girlfriend and if it gets serious enough that we want to live together …’ He shook his head. ‘There’s too many ifs.’
And it was too far in the future.
Kissing Ava had made him consider the possibility of having a girlfriend. She obviously wasn’t interested in being anything less. He liked that she wasn’t falling into his bed. Thrill of the chase, that’s all it was. But as he thought it he knew that wasn’t entirely true, as he hadn’t been the one chasing. She’d texted him. She’d told him to kiss her and he’d obeyed. She was pulling his strings and he was quite happy to let her play because he could take his hands off the wheel and let someone else be in control.
He had too much else he needed to worry about. If Ava wanted to drive he was happy to go along for the ride. Fuck he hoped there would be riding—of the non-bike variety—in the future.
He lifted his gaze and looked at Gemma. ‘I’m not usually that guy. You know that.’
Everyone was allowed to play up occasionally, but it didn’t make them a bad person. When did occasionally become habit?
He suspected he’d crossed that line and now he had to get back to the other side. He tried to imagine that conversation with a girlfriend. The one where the past was casually mentioned … or worse. What if he did get with Ava and she wanted to know that she could trust him while he was away? He had zero track record; what he did have was a list of reasons to avoid him like the plague.
‘It’s your life.’ She shrugged.
Yeah it was, but it felt as though everyone around him was on fast forward and he couldn’t keep up. Except when he was with Ava.
‘You two joining us?’ Ed called into the house.
Gemma groaned. ‘Is this ever going to be finished?’
‘I think we’re close.’ They had a good collection of songs that they were sifting through and putting into a sequence. He was looking forward to a night off next week while the happy couples celebrated Valentine’s Day.
He was going to glom some TV shows, sit in his jocks and do nothing.
***
Ava and Mike rode and talked about everything except what had happened on Australia Day. It was kind of weird that neither of them had said anything and he hadn’t tried to kiss her again.
She’d hoped that he would as they sat in the shade, almost touching.
‘I spoke to Mum. I am going east with the band.’ He sounded uncertain, like he wanted to be talked out of it.
Ava brought her legs a little closer in so they were out of the sun. ‘I’ll call you.’
He glanced at her.
She lowered her voice. ‘I could call you for non-professional reasons too.’
Mike smiled. ‘I was going to ask if you could keep me up to date. I told the doctor and she didn’t seem thrilled.’
‘Did you tell her why you were going?’
‘Nah.’ Mike shook his head. ‘That wouldn’t have counted in my favour. I’m planning to come back between gigs, but it will be harder once we start recording.’
She couldn’t imagine trying to do what he was doing. He’d be on the other side of the country up in front of thousands, knowing that his mother was dying. ‘She told me you were going and she seemed happy.’
He nodded but didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Just sipped his water. She didn’t feel the need to fill the silence.
‘When she got sick the first time I was supposed to be leaving for ADFA, air force officer training. I didn’t go. She blames herself for that missed opportunity. Because I stayed, the band stayed together. Gemma joined us a year later and off we went. She doesn’t want me to miss out again, even though it all worked out last time.’
‘Gemma is Dan’s girlfriend?’
‘You’ve been reading the gossip.’ His eyes narrowed as he looked at her and the heat that crept up her cheeks had nothing to do with the ride or the sun. Was he wondering what she’d read about him?
‘I couldn’t resist.’ She almost added, ‘after the kiss’.
‘Gemma is the friend of Ed’s sister. No one has dated her.’
‘Oh.’
He pressed his lips together and then grimaced. ‘But she is moving into my house, renting one of the rooms with her partner.’
Nowhere had she read anything about Gemma having a partner. Most of it had been speculation about Dan and Gemma being together. She frowned, but when he didn’t elaborate she didn’t press. He’d never dated Gemma, Gemma was with someone else … and it wasn’t as though she was dating Mike so she couldn’t really say anything. But she’d like to date him, and it might be weird if he was living with another woman. Wouldn’t it?
‘How’s your share house?’
‘Good so far.’ Completely different to living at home. At first she’d felt a little homesick, but one family dinner had cured that. Walking into the house had been oppres
sive before anyone had even opened their mouths. She’d promised her mother she’d make it to either church or dinner. Dinner had been the easier choice. Although Grandmother had done an excellent job of making her wish she didn’t have to do dinner either. When she’d suggested that next week there would be some of her father’s friends, Ava had said she wouldn’t attend. She was here to see family, not be paraded around like a mare at market.
She’d almost said that she was seeing someone, but the moment she did they would want to meet Mike.
She couldn’t picture him at the dining table. Couldn’t see her father being happy about having to look up at Mike either. Could quite easily imagine Grandmother having a turn and making a scene.
‘Got plans for the week?’ He’d kissed her and had never once mentioned a girlfriend, and neither had his mother, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t seeing someone else. After all, she’d been the one to ask for the kiss. However, he’d given it freely.
‘Same as usual.’ He was looking at her more closely now. ‘You?’
She pinched her lip between her teeth. Did she say anything? ‘I have Thursday off.’ Valentine’s Day. It was a lame commercial celebration, she shouldn’t be buying into it, but it was a convenient excuse to see Mike again.
‘Yeah, me too. The evening anyway.’
Okay … this was awkward. He obviously didn’t want to see her outside of going for a ride. Just a friend. Maybe if she was fair-skinned and blonde. She hated thinking that. He’d come back and taken another kiss. That memory was imprinted on her lips and mind. He’d wanted her. Why was he holding back?
‘I was just going to watch some DVDs,’ he said after a moment. ‘Did you want to come around?’
Her heart swelled and gave an extra beat of excitement. ‘Only if you’d rather not be alone. Or will Gemma be there?’
‘She hasn’t moved in yet. But company would be nice. I’m not watching chick flicks though.’
‘What will you be watching?’
‘Dunno yet. I have a pile of TV shows I picked up on sale that I want to watch.’
The way he was looking at her, she wasn’t sure how much TV watching they’d get done. Anxiety twisted in her stomach. Was he hoping for sex? At what point did she say she’d never gone all the way? Did she want to? He couldn’t even kiss her again.
