As we pulled up in front of Jax’s house her cell rang.
“Yeah,” she answered. “Cole, she doesn’t want to talk to him. No. I said no. Maybe tomorrow, but not right now.” She hung up and turned to me. “Cole said Jax was pretty hammered.”
“Drunk or not, I don’t care. I wonder how long I’ve been a fuckin’ fool. How long has he been doin’ this?” I stared straight ahead, eyes wide, unable to blink.
“Leila, he adores you. I think it was just a lap dance that got—” I cut her off.
“Stop Barb, I’m not talkin’ about this. I can’t. Really.” With that I got out and went inside.
I grabbed a bag and shoved a bunch of clothes in it from the closet and dresser, then threw in my toothbrush, deodorant and comb. I turned on my phone, called Drew and left him a voicemail telling him I was coming over. As I hung up, my voicemail alert chimed and six text messages came in, all from Jaxon. I shoved my phone in my pocket and ignored all of them.
I whistled for Ruger and went to the kitchen, snatched my purse and keys off the counter and went to the back door, set the alarm, then locked the door behind me. I opened the driver side door to the Challenger and threw my bags in the back. Ruger hopped right in.
I drove to the condo and pulled around back. Drew’s vehicle was missing from the garage, so I parked inside and lowered the garage door with a quick press. I unlocked the back door and was surprised the alarm wasn’t set. Ruger went bounding through the house, and I was startled by a familiar voice. Fuck.
“Ruger. Hey buddy. What are you doing here?” Brody scratched Ruger’s neck, then lifted his head and saw me at the back door. “Leila? What’s going on? Why are you here?”
“Uh, this is my house. Why are you here?”
“Well, Drew and I were hanging out until about twenty minutes ago when he got called in. I just stopped in with a pizza and had a few beers. He said he wouldn’t be too long, to hang out. Your turn. Why are you here at midnight on Sunday? You okay?”
Walking past him to the kitchen, ignoring his question, I grabbed a water bottle out of the refrigerator and walked over to the sectional.
“Seriously Lei. What the fuck is going on? You’re freaking me out here.”
“I don’t want to talk about it Brody. Just leave it alone, please.” I chewed on the inside of my lip to curtail the tears trying to escape as I plopped down on the chaise.
“Not a chance. What’d he do?” he asked, his voice gravelly and raw. He sat down next to me and grabbed my hand. “Talk to me babe.”
His pulling out babe was the last stick holding the dam together, I broke down and sobbed. I didn’t say anything, just cried. Brody pulled me over to him and held me in a warm, familiar embrace. His strong arms circled my chest, pushing my growing belly against his tight obliques. My arms were folded in between us. He leaned back and lifted my chin up to face him. He swiped his thumb along my tear stained cheeks. “It’s gonna be okay. Just talk to me.”
“We got in a fight.” I sniffled loudly as my diaphragm spasmed and my breath caught. “Then he left. I sat around and waited. Like, four hours later, I called Barb, who came and picked me up. We went to the club. And…and he was there.” I wasn’t going to tell Brody everything. Not in a million years. The tears had finally stopped and my anger was starting to set in. “He was being an ass so I went home and grabbed some stuff and came here.”
Brody didn’t speak, but his jaw clenched and flexed as he stared at the coffee table. He finally turned his eyes to me.
“I’m sorry he hurt you.” He looked down and saw the newest piece of jewelry adorning my left hand. He didn’t seem surprised, but rather, dejected. I tucked my hand under my leg. “It’s okay Leila, Drew told me earlier. Well, actually it’s not okay, but I don’t want you to feel like you need to hide from me. I fucked up. You moved on.”
“I’m sorry Brody, I don’t want to hurt you. Maybe I should just go upstairs.” I started to try to lift myself off the couch.
“No, stay. We don’t have to talk about him.” He changed topics. “How are you feeling?”
“Fat. And now depressed.” Cue the tissues. More waterworks. “Probably why he’s getting drunk and staying out, because I—”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. You’re gorgeous. You’re not fat, honey, you’re eight months pregnant.” He pulled me back against his firm chest. “Honestly, I’ve been a little worried you haven’t gained enough weight.”
I cried harder as I relaxed into him. “Why did he do this?”
The front door slamming startled us apart. Standing in the foyer was all six feet four inches of pissed off, drunk Jaxon. “What the fuck’s goin’ on here?”
“Jaxon, what’re you doing here?” I used the arm of the couch to pull myself up and wiped the tears from my face.
“I had a feelin’ you’d come runnin’ straight over here. Sure didn’t expect he’d be your first fuckin’ call though Lei.”
“Jax, I didn’t call him. He was just here…No. You don’t get to do that. You’re not turnin’ this shit around on me.” Now I was pissed as I walked toward him. “Fuck you, Jaxon. I wasn’t the one dry humpin’ a fuckin’ cunt in front of you. I wasn’t the fuckin’ one who kissed that whore. No, you motherfuckin’ asshole, that was you.” I shoved him but he didn’t budge.
“Lei, it’s not what it looked like. I swear, just let me explain.” He grabbed at my hands.
Brody heard everything. Of course. He came around the couch to stand in front of Jaxon. “You need to get your fucking hands off her and go. I think you’ve done enough for one day.”
“Brody, I got this.” I held my palm up into the chest of a livid Jaxon.
“Fuck you Brody. I’m sure her runnin’ over here is your fuckin’ dream come true.”
“Stop Jax, you’re drunk. You need to go home. I have nothing else to say to you right now.”
Brody grumbled as he stalked over to the kitchen.
Jax turned his eyes back to mine. “Come home with me Lei. We need to talk. You have to let me explain, baby,” he pleaded.
“Jax put yourself in my shoes. If you walked in here and I was straddlin’ Brody on the couch, kissin’ him and he buried his face in my tits, what would you do?”
The vein in his forehead bulged and throbbed as he gritted his teeth. “I’d fuckin’ kill him.”
“So, you might have a small idea of how I feel. Of course, your anger is hypothetical and mine’s fuckin’ real,” I hollered, “because I fuckin’ watched you do those things.” I turned and winced at the stupid Braxton-Hicks contraction. “Go Jax.”
“You’re gonna stay here? With that asshole?” he barked.
“Right now, I don’t owe you any answers, but yeah, I am stayin’ here. And Brody is going home. Unlike you, I can’t just jump from one bed to another.”
“That’s not true, Leila. I swear to you, I’m not cheatin’ on you and I never have. Please just come home with me.”
“Go! Now!” I was fighting back the tears as I screamed at him. Ruger had now placed himself between us in defense mode.
“God damn it,” Jax yelled as he turned around and threw open the thick wood door. “You got tonight, but tomorrow we will talk.”
“Please, just go, Jaxon,” I whispered as I looked at my swollen midsection.
“I love you Lei.” Jax pulled the door closed as he stepped into the cold winter night.
As soon as the door shut I was hit with another Braxton-Hicks. I placed my hand on the right lower quadrant of my abdomen as I winced. I prayed it would pass quickly before Brody came back into the room or noticed my discomfort.
“You okay?”
Shit, too late. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’ll deal with him tomorrow.” I was hoping he’d be distracted by my answer.
“That’s not what I was askin’ Lei. You’re holding your side.”
“I’m fine. She’s just strechin’ out, it’s just a little uncomfortable sometimes.” He started walkin’
toward me. “Listen, I don’t wanna sound like a bitch, but I’m really tired and I just wanna go to sleep.”
“Why don’t you let me stay with you until Drew gets back? I’ll hang out on the couch and you can go sleep.”
“Brody, please. Can you please just go? I just wanna be alone.” I grabbed my bag.
“But—” he started.
“No. I’m fine, just go home Brody.” Exhaustion had settled in and I was ready to crash. “I don’t have the energy to fight with you, so please don’t make me.”
“All right. You need anything before I leave?” he asked as he grabbed his keys and phone.
“No, but thanks for listening to me and not sayin’ anything. I’ll text you the time for the next OB appointment. I mean, if you still wanna go.” I walked toward the door to lock up behind him.
“Of course I do. I’m sorry I missed the last appointment. It was something that couldn’t be avoided.” He reached out and rubbed his palm gently down the left side of my belly. Bending forward, he quietly whispered to our daughter, “Bye sweet girl. Daddy loves you.”
It was the sweetest thing Brody had ever done or said. I took a deep breath as my throat tightened and eyes swelled.
“Night Lei. Call me if you need anything.” He turned and walked out the house. I locked the front door, let Ruger out the back for a minute, then locked up the rest of the house and turned on the security system. I grabbed my phone, water and bag, then scaled the stairs to the master bedroom. I brushed my teeth and washed the black streaks of mascara from splotchy face, before climbing in bed.
Chapter Fifteen
~Leila~
I heard the alarm sometime in the early morning and Drew woke me long enough to tell me he talked to Brody. He said he’d take the spare room and see me in the morning.
A wet nose nudging my cheek woke me at 10:30 a.m. “Hey boy,” I said as I scratched his head. “You need to go out?”
I got my answer in the form of a wagging tail and prancing feet. His whole body wiggled as he waited for me to get out of the bed and open the bedroom door. As soon as I did, he took off like a bat out of hell. I heard Drew greet him.
“I’ll let him out Lei,” Drew hollered up the stairs.
“Thanks, I’ll be right down.”
A few minutes later I was sitting at the granite peninsula in the kitchen watching Drew scramble some eggs.
“You wanna talk ’bout it kiddo?” Drew looked over his shoulder at me.
I drew in a long breath and chewed the inside of my cheek. Did I want to talk about it? I did, but I didn’t. I’d cried myself to sleep, cried in my sleep and cried when I woke up. I thought I was done feeling like this. And as much as I wanted to bury my head in the sand and try to ignore the massive chasm in my heart, I needed to deal with Jaxon before I discussed the situation with anyone else.
“Nah. Thanks, though. I need to deal with Jax, and the sooner the better.”
About an hour later, I collected my purse, phone and keys, said goodbye to Drew and climbed in the car. Parking in the back in my normal spot, I got out and unlocked the door. Jax was seated in a barstool at the kitchen island. He must have heard me coming, because he had his sights on the back door as I entered.
“Hey babe,” he said as he slid off the barstool.
“Hey,” I spoke softly as I dropped my stuff on the old wooden chest at the back entry. He walked over and tried to pull me into a hug. “Please don’t Jax. We need to talk.”
His face sagged at my rejection. “Yeah, I guess we do. Let’s go sit in the living room.”
The living room was at the front of the house; the furniture deep and fluffy. I loved this room. We decorated it with the beach in mind. It was soothing and calm. It was a good choice for the ensuing conversation.
“Jaxon—” I began, but he stopped me.
“Wait, please let me explain before you say anything. I’ve been dyin’ inside since last night.” He sat down facing me with his arm slung over the back of the couch. I tucked my right foot under my butt and draped my arm in the same fashion. “I swear Lei, it looked so much worse than it was.”
“I seriously doubt that,” I muttered under my breath, barely audible.
“I know I shouldn’t have left like I did, and I definitely shouldn’t have talked to you like I did. It’s just…there’s shit goin’ on I don’t exactly agree with, but I’m not the Prez, so I have to follow orders. I still can’t say what’s happenin’ but I will tell ya, I’m not feelin’ it.” I sat quietly and listened.
“Anyway, I left here and just rode for a while. Eventually, I ended up at the club and I drank too much. Not an excuse, just explainin’,” he said as he saw my head tilt in annoyance. “Mark and Dig came over, we did shots. They didn’t ask why I was there. They actually thought I was celebratin’ our engagement. Then all of a sudden, Kat was there and she was in my lap. Dig and Mark told her about us and told her to give me a lap dance.” I really wanted to throw up listening to this shit. “I know you saw everythin’ else, so I won’t go any further, but I swear to you, Leila, I have not and won’t ever cheat on you.” He held my hand between his, making it look miniscule.
“From where I’m sitting, you kissing her and then pulling her hair back so her tits were in your fuckin’ face is pretty much cheating.”
“Wait, let me explain. I pulled her hair back to get her mouth off me. Kat and I have a history, I’m not gonna lie, but I told her in September that I was done because I was in love with you. She seemed to be happy for me. I swear it was only a lap dance.”
“So is that why you came home last week stinking like a slut? ’Cause you were getting fuckin’ lap dances?”
“What? No,” he answered. “Last night was the only lap dance I’ve gotten in six months. You’re the only one I want givin’ me lap dances or shovin’ your tits in my face. Yours is certainly the only mouth I want on me. I love you.”
I wanted to believe everything he was saying, but I just couldn’t. Especially after I had been given good reason to be skeptical. “Jaxon, I’m gonna be completely honest with you. I want to believe you, but you have to put yourself in my shoes. Like I said yesterday, if you saw me like that you’d be pissed.”
“You’re right, I’d be fuckin’ furious. I don’t know what I’d do if our roles were reversed and I saw you kissin’ on Brody. It was hard enough to see him holding you while you cried.” He hung his head. “It fuckin’ ripped my heart out. Then to hear you ask him why I did this to you, Jesus Lei, I wish I could go back to yesterday and change everything that happened. I wouldn’t have walked out.”
“But you did. You didn’t trust me enough to talk to me and that’s part of our issue. You don’t trust me Jaxon.” I pulled my hand away from him. “And after last night, I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“Tell me what I can do to fix this and I will, baby. I’ll do anything.”
“You can’t fix this. Not right now. I need time to think and to figure this out. And I can’t be here with you until I do.” My heart split as I said it. It was one thing to think it, but as it came out I felt absolutely destroyed.
“Baby, I need you here with me. I can’t imagine my life without you. I don’t want to wake up again like I did this morning,” he pleaded.
“I need some time Jax.”
“Is this about Brody?” he hissed.
“Ya know what Jaxon—” I stood up. “Brody happened to be there, I didn’t call him and I didn’t ask for him to be there, so don’t turn this shit around on me. I didn’t fuck this up. That’s all on you.”
“Yeah, well, you didn’t seem too upset that he was there,” he muttered.
“I’m gonna go, I have to work tomorrow. I need to grab some clothes from the bedroom, but then I’m gonna stay at the condo with Drew for a couple of days.” I started up the stairs, but before I made it to the fourth step I was overtaken with a massive contraction. “Ahhhh!” I doubled over, holding my stomach.
“What the hell
babe? What’s wrong?” Jax flew off the couch and was by my side in the blink of an eye.
I blew out a few hard breaths as the contraction eased off.
“Lei, talk to me. What’s goin’ on? Is it the baby?” He rubbed his hand up my back.
“I’m fine. It’s just Braxton-Hicks contractions.” I straightened.
“Are you sure? Maybe we should take you to the ER just to have you both checked out.”
“Jax, we’re okay. I’ve been having them since Saturday. It’s completely normal.” I continued up the stairs to our bedroom leaving him standing there.
As I came back downstairs, I found him sitting on the second step with his head in his hands.
“Please reconsider babe. We need to fix this, not run from it.” He stood in front of me halting my forward progress.
“I just need some time. I can’t think around you and I need to get my head right. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I stepped around him as he grabbed my left hand.
“I love you Leila. I’ll be here when you wanna come home, but I’ll give you your space. For now.”
“I love you too Jax,” I whispered. “That’s what’s making this so hard.”
He pulled me to him and kissed me softly. Then he bent down and kissed my belly. “Can I call you later to say good night?”
My throat tightened. I knew I should say no, but I couldn’t. I missed him already and I hadn’t even left. “Yeah.”
I walked down the hall to the back of the house. Before I opened the back door, I turned around and looked back at him standing in the foyer. God, I wanted to run to him. It hurt so much to see the pain and anguish on his face, but it had hurt much more to see him with that woman all over him. And I did, every time I closed my eyes. That memory would be imbedded in my mind for a long time.
Opening the door, I left before I talked myself out it. We needed the space. He needed to feel the consequences of his actions. I needed to figure out if I could forgive him and move past this. Cheating was one thing I wasn’t sure I could get past. I know he said it wasn’t cheating, but damn.
I spent the next day on the couch in the condo. Taking turns between reading and weeping. Drew respected my wishes and let me be. Jax called around 9:30 p.m. to tell me good night and ask if I had any more contractions. I lied and said no. I didn’t want him to worry and come barreling over here like a caveman.
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