All the Ugly and Wonderful Things

by Bryn Greenwood

  Wavy jerked open the rear passenger door, getting ready to crawl into the backseat before I caught her. She tried to pry my hand off her arm, so I grabbed her around the waist and tossed her over my shoulder. Even with her kicking and pounding on me, I didn’t dare let go of her.

  Headed down the road toward the ranch, with the headlights at my back, I saw what I’d tripped over coming out of the meadow. Donal, laying face down in the ditch. I set Wavy down, but when she saw her brother, she went crazy trying to get to him, so I had to drag her back.

  “Don’t, Wavy, don’t! You can’t move him. You can’t.”

  She dug her nails into my arm where I had her around the waist, but she stopped fighting.

  “If he’s hurt, his back or his neck, you can’t move him, okay? Promise?”

  She nodded and when I let go of her, she crawled to Donal and touched his hand. I woulda checked for a pulse, but it didn’t matter. If Donal was alive, we needed to get help. If Donal was dead, we needed to get help.

  “You’re faster than me, Wavy. You gotta run and get help.”

  She stood up and looked west down the road, then east. Trying to decide which was closer.

  “Go down to the ranch and tell them what happened. Run as fast as you can,” I said. I wanted that to be the right thing.

  She ran west, toward the farmhouse.

  She was gonna call 911.

  The day I wrecked, I sent her to call Liam, because you don’t call 911 if you wreck your bike a mile from a four-thousand-square-foot metal barn full of meth-making equipment. But when your little brother’s lying in a ditch, maybe with a broken neck, things like that don’t matter.

  I got down on my hands and knees in the road next to Donal. I put my ear as close to his cheek as I could and held my breath. So soft I almost couldn’t hear it over the wind in the hay, Donal breathed in and out. In and out. Whatever happened, Wavy made the right choice.

  11

  DEE

  “Thank God we weren’t cooking tonight,” Dee said. The cops had been less than a mile from the barn. If Butch had been cooking, the cops would have smelled it, but they didn’t. And nobody got killed. The cops said getting thrown out of the car probably saved Donal’s life. All he ended up with was a concussion and a broken arm. If he’d had on his seatbelt, the engine would have crushed him.

  The other good thing was that when the ambulance came, the only person the cops talked to was Kellen. He kept them away from the trailers.

  Liam freaked out anyway. Of course, he loved Val—she was his wife—but listening to him cry and carry on pissed Dee off.

  “She’ll be fine,” Dee said as they drove to the hospital in Garringer. She’d smoked too much crystal trying to get herself jump-started. So had Liam, because he couldn’t stop talking.

  “This whole deal is my fault. If I were living at the farmhouse, taking care of her like I promised, this wouldn’t have happened. I’ve gotta fix this. I’ve gotta make this right.”

  “It’s gonna be okay, baby.” Dee kept saying that, because if something got fixed, it might fix her out of the picture.

  At the hospital, there wasn’t enough crank in the world to make Val look okay. They glimpsed her through a window, lying in a bed with tubes running in and out.

  “I’m her husband,” Liam said, so they let him into the room for a minute.

  Dee got in with a lie: “I’m her sister.”

  Val was fucked up. A Frankenstein monster with stitches running across her forehead.

  Liam cried for a good ten minutes after he saw Val. Dee held him, relieved. Yes, he loved Val, and he had the hots for Sandy, but Dee was there for him when there was a problem. He needed her.

  People came and went all day: Sandy, Scott, Vic, Butch, Lance, Ricki. In the evening, while Liam was in the bathroom topping himself up, Kellen showed up with Wavy. They looked rough around the edges, but at least they hadn’t been at the hospital all day, unlike Dee, who felt like someone had run a cheese grater over her nerves.

  When Liam saw Kellen talking with Butch, he headed right for them and bailed into Kellen.

  “What the hell happened?” Liam said.

  “Like I was telling Butch, I was out in the meadow and heard the crash. I don’t know what happened, except Val went off the road and hit that cattle gate. I’m sorry the cops came out, but it looked really bad. That’s why I called 911. And the cops didn’t go near the ranch.”

  “I mean, what happened? Why was Val out driving?”

  “I don’t know,” Kellen said.

  “How can you not know? You were at the house, weren’t you?”

  “No. I was in the meadow.”

  “Don’t lie to me, you son of a bitch.” Liam jabbed his finger into Kellen’s chest.

  It scared Dee when Liam got wild-eyed like that. As big as Kellen was, Liam would take him on when he got in that state.

  “I wasn’t at the house.” Kellen’s voice was too soft for Liam to hear when he got crazy. “I think Sean—”

  “You think I don’t know how you’re always hanging around, trying to insinuate yourself into her bed?”

  “It’s not like that. I never—”

  “You think she’d ever have a use for some slob like you? What? You think she’s gonna divorce me and marry you?”

  “What’re you talking about?” Kellen said.

  “Liam, don’t.” Butch put a hand on his arm, but Liam shoved it away.

  “I oughta fucking kill you for coming around my wife even thinking that kinda shit.”

  Dee held her breath, waiting for it to all blow up. Kellen took a step back and brought his hands up, ready to field a punch. The nurse at the night station stood up and reached for the phone. God, if she called security, they’d have a problem. Liam couldn’t back down from a fight when he was tweaking, especially if cops were involved.

  “Look,” Butch said. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head, Liam, but you need to stop and look around. Kellen isn’t here for some—”

  “You don’t know, man. This fucking asshole’s been going around my house every goddamn day, acting like he lives there.”

  “He brought Wavy to see her mother and her little brother. That’s why he’s here.” Butch put his hand on Liam’s arm again and turned him toward Wavy, who stood there watching in that eerie way she had. Like the little girls from The Shining.

  “I just brought Wavy to visit. I didn’t mean to cause trouble,” Kellen said.

  “You didn’t. You’re okay,” Butch said. “Right, Liam? He’s okay?”

  “He’s okay. Yeah. I’m sorry, Kellen. I’m just all turned inside out.”

  “It’s alright. I’m gonna take Wavy home now.”

  “Dee, you better go spend the night with her,” Butch said.

  Dee glared at him. Like hell she was spending the night in an empty house with that creepy little girl while Liam was with Val.

  “Wavy doesn’t even talk to Dee. I’ll go and sleep on the couch,” Kellen said.

  Butch seemed like he might keep arguing, but Kellen was already turning away. When he put his hand out to Wavy, she took it.

  KELLEN

  Riding down in the elevator to the parking garage, Wavy leaned against the opposite wall, staring at nothing. When the doors opened at the second-level parking, she walked ahead of me to where the truck was parked.

  “Where do you want to go?” I said. “You want to stay down at the ranch with Sandy?”

  Wavy turned around and took a few steps backwards so we could look at each other. She pointed at me.

  “You want to stay with me? Or you want me to stay with you?”

  She nodded. I knew she was gonna say that. And I knew I wouldn’t sleep on the couch.

  Unlike everybody else, me and Wavy had already been into the farmhouse and seen what Val did before she wrecked. Broken dishes and food all over the kitchen floor. In the living room, the coffee table was split in two like somebody had jumped on it. One of the couch
legs was busted off and the cushions were cut open. Lying in the middle of that mess was a used syringe and a pair of lacy panties. Val even went into Wavy and Donal’s rooms, ripped the sheets off the beds, broke toys and tore up library books.

  Driving out to the farmhouse, we didn’t talk about what to do. I parked the truck in the drive and we walked down into the meadow. The quilt was right where we left it, no worse for having spent the day out in the hayfield. The two cans of beer were warm, but I cracked one and drank it.

  Wavy said all the stars, but we didn’t make a game of it. After she fell asleep, I was still awake, listening to the quiet, thinking about what we’d have to do in the morning. While Wavy swept and mopped, I figured I’d haul the things Val had destroyed out to the trash barrel and burn them. I kept thinking about that, picturing what needed to be done, because that was as far as I could think. After we cleaned up the house, I didn’t know what we’d do next.

  12

  DONAL

  August 1982

  I didn’t remember Mama and me having our wreck, but I remembered Mama and Uncle Sean fighting. Just like she does with Daddy. Screaming and hitting and breaking stuff.

  “I hate you!” Mama kept saying.

  “Where is it? Where the fuck is it?” Uncle Sean yelled. He went stomping all around the house, tearing things up, even worse than Mama does when she’s mad.

  After he left, Mama said, “I’ll show him.”

  I was hiding under the bed, but she came and dragged me out and said, “Put your fucking shoes on. We’re leaving.”

  Then I guess we went for a ride and had our wreck, but I didn’t remember that.

  I got a cool cast on my arm and everybody signed it. For a while it was just Wavy and Kellen and me at the farmhouse, and I liked that. Wavy was happier, and when Kellen and me made jokes at dinner, she laughed out loud. I wanted us all to sleep together, but Kellen was too big, so he slept in Wavy’s bed and she slept with me. Mostly.

  Then Mama got to leave the hospital, and Daddy said, “I want you to come live with me.”

  I thought that would be cool because there were motorcycles and puppies and firecrackers down at the trailers. Maybe I could get a bike, too.

  Plus Wavy made me eat good-for-me stuff. Oatmeal and green beans. At Daddy’s house, Sandy let me eat Pop-Tarts and frozen pizzas.

  Also, Mama scared me. She was different people. “Wait,” Wavy said. Her rule was Don’t talk to Mama until she talks to you. Wait until you know which Mama she’s going to be. If Mama said, “Oh God, I’m so alone,” it was okay for me to hug her.

  If Mama said, “Worthless motherfucker. I’ll show him,” you better watch out. Even Kellen didn’t like to come in the house when she was like that, and he was lots bigger than Daddy.

  Before Mama came home from the hospital, Sandy helped me pack my stuff. We packed Wavy’s clothes, too, while she sat on the bed, touching her quilt.

  “We can take the quilt with us, honey.” Sandy stuck her hand out, getting ready to do something stupid. Only Kellen and me got to touch Wavy. And she could hit hard. Boy, I didn’t want to see that.

  “Don’t touch her,” I said.

  “Wha?” Sandy was kinda stoned so she was being silly.

  Wavy stood up and Sandy started to fold her quilt.

  “No,” Wavy said. When Sandy didn’t stop, Wavy said it loud: “NO.”

  “You don’t want to take your quilt?”

  “It’s not her quilt,” I said. Grandma, who I didn’t remember, made the quilt for Wavy, but I knew the rule. Nothing belongs to you. I knew the rule, but I didn’t like it. My stuff was mine, like the pocketknife Uncle Sean gave me. If somebody tried to take it, I’d sock them.

  Sandy put the quilt back on the bed and took the other stuff to the car.

  First thing, when we got down the hill, I showed Wavy the puppies in the garage. It was okay for animals to touch her. She petted them and let them crawl on her lap.

  I wanted to light firecrackers, but it was getting hot outside, so I said, “Let’s go watch TV.” That was something else we didn’t have at the farmhouse. Wavy had her little TV with rabbit ears, but Sandy’s trailer had satellite.

  Only when we went inside, Daddy and Kellen and Butch were there.

  “Hey, come here, kiddo,” Daddy said. Then he saw Wavy.

  He yelled, “Sandy! Sandy!” until she came. She musta been in the shower, because she had a towel on her head.

  “What the fuck is she doing here?” Sometimes I thought Daddy couldn’t see Wavy, but he pointed at her.

  “But you said you wanted the kids to move down here. You—”

  “I said, ‘The kid.’ Donal. Not her.”

  “You—what do you want me to do?” Sandy said.

  “Get her out of here. Take her back up to the farmhouse.”

  “I’ll take her,” Kellen said.

  After Wavy left, I didn’t want it to be fun living at Daddy’s. It wasn’t fair if I had fun and she didn’t. But there were puppies, and then Daddy bought me a motorbike and taught me how to ride it. Anyways, Wavy didn’t really want to live there, and I still got to see her. Sometimes she came with Kellen, and sometimes she snuck in to see me. Some mornings, before anybody else woke up, I went across the meadow to the farmhouse. That was the best.

  13

  KELLEN

  Plenty of times I’d wanted to beat the crap out of Liam, but never as bad as I did when he told Wavy to get out. Her whole face went blank, and stayed that way until we walked out to the front drive. She scowled when she saw the Willys.

  “The bike’s at the shop,” I said. “I got tired of it being dinged up. We’ll have to ride in the truck for a while.”

  Wavy shuffled her feet, but she let me take her hand and help her up into the truck.

  “You know, this is Old Man Cutcheon’s truck. Good truck. Plus, it’s the same age as his son. He thinks that’s good luck. He sold this to me a couple years ago, when his grandkid was born, and bought himself that new Ford. He’s still proud of this Willys, though. Says it’s never broke down on him.”

  She knew all about the truck; I was only trying to fill up the quiet.

  “You wouldn’t want to live down at the trailers anyway. It’s noisy and they smoke. Makes the place stink. You wouldn’t like that.”

  When I turned to go up the road to the farmhouse, she said, “No.”

  I couldn’t blame her for not wanting to go up there. Val laid up in bed, with a nurse there—some stranger. I turned around and drove the route we took around the lake on the bike, but it wasn’t the same in the truck. I was sorry I’d sold the Barracuda, even though I made good money on it. Piss poor timing on my part. Once we reached the Powell city limits, there were only two options: my house or the shop.

  “Is there somewhere you want to go, Wavy?”

  After a second, she pointed at me.

  “Yeah, we can go to my house.”

  “Live with you,” she said.

  “You can’t live with me.”

  She pretty much had been while Val was in the hospital. That had to end now.

  I didn’t know what else to say, so I drove to my place and pulled into the carport. Wavy sagged back in her seat, staring out the windshield at the faded asbestos siding on the garage. She looked so small and tired, like my ma before she died.

  “It’s not me, Wavy. Other people wouldn’t like you living with me, since I’m not your family. Maybe you could go live with your aunt. They’re your family.”

  It made a kinda sense, but that was about the last thing I wanted. Tulsa was a long drive, and the way her aunt looked at me, it wasn’t like I’d be able to visit Wavy there. But maybe things would be better for her without me. Maybe she could have a regular life with good people.

  “Well, what if we…” I racked my brain trying figure out something. There was the spare bedroom. I could put the weight bench out in the garage. Get a bed in there. Except it didn’t fix the real problem. Her living wi
th me.

  “Get married,” she said. Had she heard what Liam said at the hospital? Man, I hoped she didn’t believe that crap about me messing around with Val.

  “If who got married?” I said.

  She pointed at me and, in that slow way she had, brought her finger back to her chest.

  I couldn’t help it. I laughed. Not because I thought it was funny, but because I was shocked. She looked right through me, like I wasn’t there. She wasn’t joking, and I wished I could take it back.

  “I’m not laughing at you, sweetheart. You surprised me is all. I didn’t expect you to say that.” She didn’t make a sound. She was gonna make me answer her. “You know we can’t get married.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t think Liam would like that.”

  She shrugged, ’cause it was a stupid reason. Liam had kicked her out.

  “I’m a good wife,” she said.

  “I know you’d be a good wife. I like your cooking and you clean the house and you know how to keep the books. I mean, if it was just about that, or about me wanting to be with you, sure, but you’re too young to get married.”

  Staying out at the farmhouse with Wavy and Donal, it was something near to playing house, except Wavy didn’t play at things.

  “Here’s the thing: in a couple weeks you start school, right? Leave the house by seven, when Val’s still asleep. After school, you can go to my house or down to the shop. Stay there ’til it’s time to close. Then we can have dinner, you can do your homework, watch TV, and I’ll take you up to the farmhouse before bed.”

  Wavy didn’t answer. No nod, no shrug, nothing.

  “Hey,” I said. “Hey.”

  For the first time ever, I reached over and touched her hair without waiting for some kind of invitation. Even that didn’t get me a reaction. She didn’t lean into me and she didn’t push me away. There had to be something to make my offer stick and sitting there looking at the back door of my house, I thought of it. I started the truck and headed to the hardware store. Got there just before it closed. I came around to Wavy’s side and almost spilled her on the pavement because of the way she was leaning up against the door.