Saving It

by Monica Murphy

  “Careful,” Josh murmurs close to my ear, making me shiver.

  I glance over my shoulder, my gaze meeting his, and all the air in my lungs seems to freeze. He looks even better in person in the dark gray suit, his jaw freshly shaved yet his hair stylishly messy. His fingers tighten around my waist, and his touch seems to burn straight through the thick velvet fabric of my dress.

  “Sorry,” I whisper.

  He shakes his head, never letting me go. Instead, he leans even closer, his mouth practically touching my ear when he says, “You look so fucking sexy.”

  Oh God, I want to melt. I thought he was mad at me. Isn’t he still mad at me? I hurt his feelings and he hurt mine, and we both have every right to be angry.

  But seeing him, having him touch me, makes all those overwhelming feelings flood my body. I miss him.

  I’m in love with him.

  I finally find my voice. “You look good, too.”

  Josh doesn’t smile. He still has his hands on me. Though he removes one, only to trace his finger along my naked spine. I’m trembling from his touch, the look in his eyes, and it’s like everyone on the dance floor has evaporated. Disappeared. It’s just me and Josh, staring at each other, his hand still clutching my waist, his fingers touching my bare skin.

  “Hey, there you are!” Molly appears at Josh’s side, breaking the tense moment, and Josh releases his hold on me, his fingers lingering like he doesn’t want to let me go. I take a stumbling step back, smiling at Molly, so grateful when she wraps me up in her arms and gives me a big hug.

  “You look beautiful,” she tells me as she pulls away, holding me at arms’ length.

  “So do you.” Her dress is a deep red, strapless with a full skirt that stops just above her knee, very modern yet with a vintage feel. “Your lips match your dress.”

  “Is it too much?” Molly frowns, and I quickly shake my head.

  “It’s perfect. You look perfect.” I nudge her toward Abraham, who’s still dancing like he’s never going to stop. “Go dance with Abraham.”

  Molly turns her concerned gaze on me. “You don’t mind?”

  “You know you want to swap dates,” I tease. “Remember?”

  Molly’s smile is grateful, and she hugs me again. “You should go talk to him,” she whispers just before she pulls away. “He’s miserable, though he’s trying to put on a brave face.”

  It’s like I can still feel his hands on me, too. Why are we being so stupid again?

  I glance around the dance floor, but Josh is nowhere in sight. “Do you know where he went?”

  “Maybe back to the table where we were sitting?” Molly shrugs, her gaze locked on the wildly dancing Abraham.

  “I’ll look for him.” I grab Molly’s bare shoulders and push her in Abraham’s direction. “You go dance.”

  I leave the dance floor and wander around the beautifully decorated gymnasium, smiling and waving at people I know as I pass them by. But there’s no sign of Josh. He’s not sitting at any of the tables, he’s not near the refreshment area, and he’s not by the bathrooms either.

  It’s like he completely disappeared.

  I spot one of his friends from the basketball team and ask if he’s seen Josh.

  “Yeah, I think he went backstage a few minutes ago.” The gymnasium has a small stage, and it’s currently where the DJ is set up.

  Why would he go back there? Is he making a special song request? I hope he didn’t leave already. We didn’t even get a chance to talk.

  Not that I know what to say to him.

  I leave the guy standing there, practically running toward the door that leads backstage. But before I can open it, the music stops, and a familiar deep voice rings out over the speakers.

  “Sorry to interrupt the dance, but I have an important announcement to make.”

  I turn toward the stage to see Josh standing there, a spotlight shining directly on him, looking gorgeous and nervous as he clutches the microphone so tight his knuckles are white.

  Then I notice he’s holding something else. A single red rose.

  “Hey Edes.” He’s looking right at me, his expression solemn. “Come up here and join me, will you?”

  Everyone inside the gym is silent. I glance around the room and spot Molly, who flicks her head at me and mouths, “Go onstage!”

  “Don’t leave me all alone up here, okay?” He laughs nervously and before he can say anything else, I bolt for the door, dashing backstage and fumbling with the thick black curtain before I find the opening and I’m standing right beside him.

  Everyone is watching us. People sit at the tables, couples are still standing on the dance floor, teachers are leaning against the walls, all of them eyeing us with curious interest. Even Cole is watching, his expression narrowed, his arm slung loosely around Whitney’s shoulders. I tear my gaze away from them and focus on Josh.

  He holds the rose out toward me. “This is for you.”

  I take it from him, keeping my head bent as I drift my fingers over the velvety red petals. “It’s almost too pretty to be real.”

  “Oh, it’s definitely real. Took me a while to find just the right one, too.”

  I lift my head, my gaze locking with his. “What do you mean?”

  “I went to three florist shops in town before I settled on that rose.” He nods toward the flower in my hand. “It had to be perfect. Like on The Bachelor, you know?”

  My eyes widen, and he grins. I know what he’s telling me without saying a word. He actually watches The Bachelor. He has to since he knows so much. I guess this is his little secret? And am I actually the last one in Josh’s rose ceremony?

  Bringing it to my nose, I breathe in the rose’s delicate fragrance. I don’t know why he went to so much trouble, but I’m not complaining. Or why he feels the need to present the rose to me in front of everyone at the dance. “Thank you, Josh. I love it.”

  “Good. Because I love you.” He says this directly into the microphone, and if I thought it was quiet before, you could hear a pin drop now. Mom says that all the time, and I never really understood it before.

  Everything inside of me goes completely still. “What?”

  “I’m in love with you, Edes. I think I’ve been in love with you for years, I just didn’t realize it until these last few weeks. Nothing else matters, no one else does, not any other girl. You’re my closest friend. You’ve been my best friend for a long time, and I hate it when we fight. This has been a big one, I know, and I’m sorry. I just want it back to the way we were, only better, you know? We’re good together. We always make each other laugh. You get my dumb jokes. You listen to me, and I try my best to listen to you, and every time I’m with you, it just feels…right.”

  I gape at him, my throat dry. I can’t speak. I can’t freaking think. Josh is in love with me?

  “I think I’ve been waiting for you all this time, like subconsciously or whatever. Saving it special, just for you.” He takes my hand and links our fingers together. “There’s no one else I’d rather be with. Just you.”

  “Really?” My voice squeaks, and I clear my throat, glancing toward the crowd. They are watching us with rapt attention, even the chaperones. This is sort of embarrassing.

  “Really. I’m even going to confess my secret love for The Bachelor in front of everyone, so I must really love you, because that’s pretty damn embarrassing. This little rose ceremony, it’s all for you, because you’re the one I want to be with. No one else. We belong together, Eden. What do you think?”

  Everyone starts clapping until the sound is deafening. They’re yelling, words of encouragement, vaguely inappropriate stuff that has the teachers freaking out. I think I even heard Abraham yell, “Get some, Evans!” Molly’s laughter following.

  The crowd’s reaction along with his words touch some deep emotional part of me, and before I even realize it, I’m crying. Tears are slipping from my eyes, sliding down my cheeks, and when he sees them, he makes a pained noise.

&
nbsp; “Ah, damn it, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” His voice is low, just for me, and he cradles my face in his hands so our gazes meet. Gently he captures my tears with his thumbs, brushing them away. “Talk to me, Edes. You’re scaring me.”

  “Don’t worry. They’re happy tears,” I confess, closing my eyes. I breathe deep, his words on repeat in my brain. He’s in love with me. Josh is in love with me. He doesn’t want to be with anyone else.

  Just me.

  “I know you said what happened between us was a mistake, but I don’t believe you,” he says, his voice low. “Tell me the truth, Edes. Tell me how you really feel.”

  “I’m sorry I said all that stuff. I was just scared.” I swallow hard. Here’s my big truthful moment. “I’m in love with you, t—” I barely get the words out before his mouth is on mine, capturing my breath, my heart, my soul.

  Oh yeah, totally sappy, but I’m allowed to be sappy tonight.

  Since Joshua Evans just declared his love for me.

  …

  Josh

  Eden feels so damn good in my arms. Seeing her enter the gym with Abraham looking so freaking amazing, all the anger and frustration I felt toward her just disappeared. I realized right then and there I was sick and tired of wasting time, and I was so glad I bought that rose to give her. It was finally time. I needed to tell Eden exactly how I felt about her, and I needed to do it in a big way.

  Pulling a Bachelor move could’ve been embarrassing, but I don’t care. Eden loves me. She’s in love with me. I’d do anything for her, even admit that I love watching the stupid Bachelor.

  I grab her hand and lead her off the stage, pushing through the closest set of double doors so we’re outside. Eden gasps when the cold air hits us, and I grab hold of her so I’m leaning against the gymnasium wall. Then I’m kissing her. She’s got her arms hooked around my neck, and I press my hand against the center of her back, touching bare, warm skin. She’s so soft and smooth, and I remember how I touched her all over.

  How much I want to do that again. Take it further this time. I want to give everything to her.

  “Josh,” she whispers after she breaks away from my lips.

  I press my forehead to hers, the both of us breathing a little heavy. “Yeah?”

  “Why did you have to give me a perfect rose?”

  “Oh. Right.” I’m a little nervous over this admission. Maybe more than I was over declaring my love for her. So stupid, but I need to be real with her. That’s all she’s ever wanted. Why did it take us so long to realize just how perfect we are for each other? “It’s uh, it’s a reference to The Bachelor. Remember what I said onstage?”

  Eden pulls away slightly so our gazes meet, her hands sliding down so they’re braced against my chest, the rose still clutched in her right hand. She’s frowning, but more out of confusion I think. “Yes, but I want you to explain it to me. You really watch The Bachelor?”

  “Well, yeah.” She must think I’m a complete dork. “You know how it works, right? Whoever is the Bachelor or the Bachelorette, they give roses to the ones they want to keep, remember? If you don’t get a rose, you’re off the show. He didn’t choose that girl. Or she didn’t choose that guy.” I pluck the rose from her fingers and bring it up to her face, tapping it on the tip of her nose. “I choose you, Edes. I want you to be mine.”

  I drop my hand to my side and hold my breath, waiting for her answer. This somehow feels like the make or break moment. She’ll either tell me I’m a complete idiot for the Bachelor reference or she’ll love it.

  “I want to be yours,” she whispers, her hand going around my nape and drawing me closer. “I love you so much, Josh.”

  Our lips meet again, the kiss longer this time. We wrap our arms around each other, and I’m clutching the rose so tight I’m afraid I’m going to snap the stem in half. We’re full-blown making out at a school function, and I know the minute a chaperone catches us, we’re busted.

  “Let’s get out of here,” I murmur against her neck, making her shiver.

  “But I want to dance,” she protests, giggling when I nip at the sensitive skin just below her ear. “Come on, let’s stay here for a little while.”

  I pull away so I can stare into her pretty blue eyes. I can’t believe she’s mine. I can’t believe she loves me like I love her. “Thirty minutes.”

  Eden mock pouts. “An hour.”

  “Forty-five minutes,” I compromise.

  “Deal.” She smiles triumphantly. “Where do you want to go after this?”

  I steer her through the double front doors, my hand pressed against her lower back. I know she doesn’t have a bra on with this dress. Is she wearing panties? A thong? I can’t wait to find out. “I was thinking my house?”

  “Is your mom there?” Wide, questioning eyes meet mine. The music is so damn loud inside that I have to speak up.

  “No. She’s gone for the night.”

  “So it’s just the two of us.”

  I nod, barely able to contain the smile spreading across my face. “You okay with that?”

  “More than okay.” She takes my hand and leads me toward the dance floor. “Now let’s go dance!”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Josh

  I’m buzzing around my bedroom, trying to set the mood when there’s a knock on the door. Eden opens it before I can say anything, and she’s peeking her head around the door, her expression hopeful, yet a little nervous, too.

  “Is it okay if I come in?”

  I toss the last of my dirty clothes in the hamper before I pull the closet door shut. “Yeah, come in.”

  She walks into the room and closes the door behind her, then glances around. My room was already pretty clean, just an old sweatshirt thrown over my chair, a pile of dirty clothes here and there on the floor, and my desk was sort of a mess, covered in papers and textbooks. I tidied everything up while she waited in the living room for me like I asked. I even managed to light the candles I found in my mom’s stash earlier, when I was feeling hopeful.

  Turns out my hopes and dreams came true, because the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known is standing in the middle of my bedroom tonight.

  “I have been in this room hundreds of times,” she says as she takes it all in.

  “Maybe even thousands of times,” I add, making her smile.

  “Yeah, true.” Her gaze meets mine. “But I’ve never been this nervous about it before.”

  “Well, we’ve never done anything like this before.” I hesitate. “Well, we sort of have.”

  “Yeah.” Her cheeks look like they’re on fire. “We have.”

  “And it was good.” I take her hand and pull her in close so we’re pressed against each other. I’ve already ditched the jacket and tie. She kicked off her heels the moment she climbed into my truck so she’s back to short Eden. The girl who I can tuck just beneath my chin where she fits perfectly.

  “It was really great,” she murmurs, laughing nervously. “Josh, is this weird to you?”

  “Is what weird to me?” I wrap her up in my arms and press my mouth to the spot where her neck meets her shoulder. Her body goes limp when my lips make contact with her soft skin, and I hear her sigh.

  “That two best friends are about to have sex for the first time? Together?” She pulls away slightly so she can look up at me. “You wanted me to help you find someone for you.”

  “Yeah, and you did. You found yourself. And I think it’s pretty freaking awesome.” I kiss her once. Twice. Three times, and then she’s sighing against my lips, her tongue circling mine. I break away from her tempting mouth, and the sound of frustration she makes has me smiling.

  “Are you sure you’re not—disappointed?”

  This girl is crazy. I cup her cheeks, our gazes locked. “I love you, Edes. How can I be disappointed? There’s no one else I’d rather be with. Just you.”

  She smiles, her eyes sparkling. “There’s no one else I’d rather be with, either. Just you.”

  �
�Glad we agree, then.” I kiss her once more and then reach down and grab at the hem of her dress, slowly pulling it up. She doesn’t protest, doesn’t say a word, just lets me pull the dress up, up, up, until she’s shifting away from me and holding up her arms so I can take the dress completely off of her.

  Aw damn, she’s gorgeous. Even though her hands automatically go up to cover her chest, and she gives me this smile that’s more like an apology than anything else, I still think she’s the most beautiful girl I know.

  “Drop your hands,” I tell her, my voice quiet. “Let me see you.”

  “Take your shirt off,” she says. “Let’s be on an even playing field.”

  Chuckling, I quickly unbutton my shirt and yank it off, letting it drop to the floor. “There you go.” Her gaze wanders hungrily over my chest, and then she slowly lets her arms fall to her sides.

  “Take off your pants,” she whispers, and I do that, too, kicking off my shoes, shucking the pants off so I’m standing in front of her in just my blue and white checked boxer shorts. It feels like her eyes are gobbling me up. “Oh wow, Josh.”

  It’s the oh wow that does me in. I grab hold of her, burying my hands in her hair as I kiss her like I’m desperate for her. Which I am, by the way—I’m totally desperate for her. For Edes. She tastes so good and feels even better and when we fall onto my bed, our legs tangle, and I press her into the mattress, my entire body covering hers since she’s so small. I’m careful not to crush her, but soon I forget about my worry and allow myself to get lost in her body, exploring her, touching her everywhere, peeling off those tiny little panties she’s wearing until she’s completely naked.

  And then I’m completely naked and I have the condom, and with shaky fingers I tear off the wrapper and roll it on. She’s shaking, too, and I whisper sweet words in her ear, telling her how much she means to me, and how good she feels. How good I’m going to make her feel. We’re sweaty and we’re fumbling and she laughs when I somehow get it wrong and then she’s guiding me where I need to go. Her touch makes my eyes cross and my blood run hot, so I think of trig problems and college essays just to slow everything down and revel in the fact that I’m actually having sex with my best friend.