by David Horne
Being contrite usually worked in his favor. Aris didn’t look impressed, but she gave him a searching look. Whatever she saw must have confirmed his resolve as she sighed, laying a hand on his arm. “Let me know when it’s convenient for you, okay?”
It wasn’t passive aggressive, so Alex assured her that he would. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow. You could always send Jason,” he added.
Aris gave an amused twitch of her lips. “So eager for your brother to work hard.”
“I think he wants to be treated the same as you do me,” Alex pointed out quietly, aware that he was stepping on toes. It was only partly selfish; the more work Jason did in his stead, the more, free time with which he would be left. He did want to help Jason, though, and Alex knew better than anyone how much his brother longed to be given more responsibility at the business.
“All right,” Aris agreed affably. It set Alex on edge. His mother was rarely so accepting of his advice where work was concerned. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Leaning in to kiss his cheek, Aris squeezed his arm and then left him in the doorway. Alex stared after her, feeling as if he’d somehow been transported into the Twilight Zone.
Chapter Ten
Harry called an hour before he was due to arrive.
“Alex,” he said, breathlessly. “Can you meet me at the bakery? We had an oven crap out on us and I’m going to be slightly late.”
Alex’s heart dropped. “Sure.”
“Don’t be mad,” Harry said again, fumbling for words. There was the sound of someone snapping something in Cantonese in the background. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Alex said, honestly. “It’s not like you asked for an oven to break down. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Harry breathed out slowly like he’d been holding his breath. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me.” Alex was already grabbing his keys, but he paused in the doorway. “I could bring the stuff for dinner. Cook it at yours.”
There was a pause. “You could spend the night if you wanted.”
Alex swallowed thickly. He had wanted the same thing, had hoped for the same thing, but it was something else to know for sure they were on the same page. Heart thudding in his chest and answering quickly in case Harry took his silence for refusal, he said, “Yeah, yes. I would like that.”
“Good,” Harry said, sounding happy. “I’ll see you soon.”
Alex heard another shout and smiled. “Go back to work. I’ll be there.”
Harry hung up the phone and Alex stood in the middle of his apartment, staring at nothing like an idiot. This was it. The moment. He was going over to Harry’s house, which amped up the anxiety, but it was happening. Was this how every virgin felt? Alex hoped so, otherwise, he was yet again the saddest person to exist on the planet.
Stop putting yourself down, he told himself fiercely.
As if prompted by his own inner voice, he started to gather the things he would need, though it was difficult not to think of what was about to happen. There was currently a huge neon sign flashing SEX in his head.
“Calm down,” he berated himself, throwing his toiletries into a bag. “Get a grip.”
How many times had he told himself that lately? Love really did make you lose your mind. Love, or the fact that he was about to have sex with his boyfriend for the first time. Have sex for the first time full stop.
The reality set in as he tossed his bag in the trunk, and by the time he was sitting in the front seat of his car, he had to breathe calmly, slow and steady, to stop himself having a panic attack.
“This is fine,” he told himself. Resting his forehead on the steering wheel, he breathed out slow and steady. “It’s Harry. Just Harry.”
Thinking of Harry, of the way he would be kissing, touching, and talking to Alex made everything less stressful. His chest stopped feeling so tight and his breathing evened out. Eventually, he had recovered enough to start the car and pull out of the drive. The anxiety shifted into something close to excitement as the journey continued; he reminded himself that this wasn’t just sex, it was sex with Harry. That would make all the difference, no matter how well he did (or didn’t) do.
The Lins’ bakery was still busy by the time Alex pulled up, and there was a sign hanging outside apologizing for the broken oven. Apparently, people were still desperate for their baked goods. Alex could understand the need.
Sitting in the car until Harry finished probably wasn’t very polite. Besides, if he got out and went inside the bakery, he could use some of that Cantonese he had been so intent on learning. To be fair to himself, he didn’t know a whole lot, but enough to say hello, good day, and ask about general well-being.
Alex locked up his car, and though the bakery was busy, there was enough room for him to slip in and behind all the people.
Behind the counter, Harry and his father were currently serving. Alex could see Ming in the kitchens.
“Hey,” Alex said, approaching one of the display cases.
Harry slid the customer their money and then looked up, a warm smile curving his mouth as he saw Alex. “Hi.”
Harry’s father waved a hand at Alex, who returned it happily.
“I’ll just be over here,” Alex said, waving a hand at a chair in the corner.
Harry nodded, already preoccupied with the next customer.
Someone bumped into Alex and he turned, apologizing, before backing up to the chair, dropping down into it. He clasped his hands together, resting his forearms on his knees. He couldn’t stop staring at Harry, knowing that Harry must have been aware, but he couldn’t help it. Hair mussed from apparently running his hands through it, Harry’s smile was practiced but genuine. He called back to his mother occasionally, saying something to her in Cantonese. Alex caught one word and his name—cooking, Alex—and then Harry’s mother yelled an affirmative back.
Meeting Alex’s eyes, Harry quirked his lips up into a grin, and then returned to his customer’s order.
Watching him work wasn’t as boring as Alex thought it would be; he was smooth in his motions, happy to help everyone, and kept casting quick glances at Alex, checking to make sure he was still there.
As if Alex had anywhere better to be.
Harry’s mom slipped out of the kitchens just as the last couple of customers were being served. She came over to Alex.
“Hello,” she said. “I am Ming."
“Alex,” Alex said. Then, “Néih hóu ma?”
It was a simple how are you? but Alex was pleased with the smile that broke out on Ming’s face. She opened her arms and Alex stood, letting her bring him into a hug. “Nei zan hóu!”
“That’s all I know,” Alex admitted as they pulled apart. “I’m learning.”
“That is good,” Ming said, touching a hand to his cheek. “Very clever.”
“Oh,” Alex said, feeling his cheeks warm. He shrugged as though it was nothing. “I wanted to be able to talk to you.”
Ming turned then, saying something quickly in Cantonese to both Harry and Harry’s father, the two of them done with their customers.
Whatever she said had Harry looking pleased, impressed, and stunned in equal measure. Harry’s father was saying something back, gesturing at Alex.
“Tao says he is very proud,” Ming told him. “We are very happy you are with Harry.”
Alex looked up at Harry, knowing the smile on his face was dopey and ridiculous. “So am I. I love him.”
Harry stared at him, shocked.
Tao said something to Harry, who nodded distractedly. Clapping his son on the shoulder, he waved at Alex. “Goodbye.”
“Bye,” Alex said.
Ming’s expression was full of warmth and acceptance as she clasped Alex’s arm. “We shall leave. Have a good night.”
“We will.” Alex inclined his head as she joined her husband back behind the counter. With one last wave, they disappeared into the kitchen and shut the door.
Harry still hadn’t s
aid anything, was staring at Alex in shock, arms hanging limply by his sides.
“I’m sorry,” Alex said. He wasn’t, but Harry was still frozen, his eyes wide. Alex wasn’t anxious about having said it, though the longer it took for Harry to recover, he was sure that would change.
Harry lifted his hands, placing them on the counter. “Alex.”
How could one word hold such meaning? It was spoken in a low tone, reverent, and Alex’s heart thudded in his chest. “Yeah?”
“God,” Harry muttered, and slipped through the partition, reaching out for Alex’s hand. Alex gave it willingly, allowing himself to be pulled closer. Harry looked up at him, and Alex’s mouth was dry, his hands trembling at what he saw on his face. “How did I get so lucky?”
“You’re clumsy?” Alex said the only thing that came to his mind, but Harry laughed, delighted and loud, and he tugged Alex down for a kiss. It was perfect. Their teeth clacked, and their noses were smashed uncomfortably together, but it was everything Alex needed.
“I love you too,” Harry said when they parted. “Just in case you weren’t sure.”
Alex let out a breathy laugh, curling a hand around the back of Harry’s neck. “I didn’t want to presume.”
“Presume away.” Harry’s hands fisted in the front of Alex’s jacket, eyes dropping to Alex’s mouth like he was contemplating kissing him again. Alex wanted to tell him to go ahead, that Harry could kiss him as many times as he liked. “You learned Cantonese.”
“Some.” Alex gave in to the urge to kiss Harry again. “I want them to like me.”
“How could they not?” Harry pressed forward until Alex had him wrapped in a hug and could kiss the top of his head. “As long as your parents feel the same about me.”
Alex tightened his grip on Harry a fraction and deliberately didn’t let himself feel guilty. So what if his parents didn’t know about Harry? In time they would. That was all that mattered.
“Hey,” Harry said, pulling back. “You ready for dinner now?”
Slipping his hands into his pockets, Alex nodded, rocking back on his heels. “Absolutely. Did you drive here this morning?”
“No,” Harry admitted, though he was smiling. “Good thing I have a boyfriend who can drive, isn’t it?”
“Very fortuitous,” Alex agreed, laughing under his breath.
“I’ll just lock up,” Harry told him, patting Alex’s chest.
Alex was content to wait, leaning against the wall and staring out of the window. When Harry finally slipped back through, keys dangling from his finger, he grinned.
“Time to wow me with your cooking.”
“Time to wow me with your—” Alex started, cutting himself off at the last minute. Heat rose on his face as he turned back to Harry.
Harry was smirking. “Oh? Wowing you, am I?”
Alex regained his footing, a surge of confidence bursting in his chest. “I would hope so. My first time is supposed to be awesome.”
“Is that so.” It wasn’t a question, and Harry turned, pocketing his keys. Tongue in cheek, he gave Alex an appraising look. “I’ll have to see what I can do about that.”
Apparently, tonight was the night for honesty.
As they both climbed into Alex’s car, Alex turned to Harry and tugged him in for another kiss. “You can’t disappoint me.”
“Neither can you,” Harry whispered, thumb brushing Alex’s cheek.
Chapter Eleven
Alex felt self-conscious for the first time as he undressed. It was an act he went through every night, but he was hyper-aware of Harry watching him, of the weight of this moment.
“We can slow down,” Harry said.
He was being so respectful, giving Alex the space he needed to get used to this. Alex was grateful; he didn’t think they would have made it this far if he didn’t.
“No,” Alex said, tugging his t-shirt off and over his head. He dropped it to the floor, raised his chin and gave Harry a content grin. “I walk around with my shirt off during the summer.”
Harry’s eyebrows raised appreciatively. “That’s a trend you’ll have to continue.”
Alex rolled his eyes and started on his belt. “Not the jealous type?”
“Uh, yes,” Harry admitted, but there was a mischievous look in his eye. “But my irrational need for people to see what they can’t have supersedes that.”
Possessiveness wasn’t usually something Alex admired in a person, and to be truthful, it still wasn’t. That didn’t mean that the thought of Harry being proud of having him as a boyfriend didn’t make his blood rush south.
He was hard, and obviously so. Harry’s eyes dropped to his crotch. With every passing moment, Alex’s anxiety was retreating behind a thrum of want that he couldn’t ignore.
“Touch me?” Alex asked, licking his lips.
Harry was on his feet in a second, hooking a finger in Alex’s belt loop and tugging him forward. Their kiss was hot and wet, Harry’s tongue swiping along Alex’s, his fingers in Alex’s hair, pulling him down enough that he could reach.
“Do you know how hot it is,” Harry started, pulling away to help Alex off with his belt, “to have a boyfriend so tall?”
“No,” Alex said, amusement rife in his tone. “Mine’s pretty short.”
“Fuck you.” Harry was laughing as he dropped Alex’s belt to the floor, pressing a hand against Alex’s crotch.
Pleasure shot down Alex’s spine and he groaned, unable to help thrusting against Harry’s palm. “Harry.”
“It’s all right,” Harry assured him. “Talk to me.”
“It’s good.” Alex’s voice trembled, his hips making little motions against Harry’s hand. “God.”
Harry pulled away and Alex whined like a little child. What was wrong with him. “Hey. Look at me.”
Alex raised his eyes, cheeks heated with shame.
“Don’t be embarrassed, Alex. What you’re feeling is normal.”
“I feel like I could cum already,” Alex admitted, dropping his eyes back to the floor.
Harry’s breath rushed out against Alex’s chest and Alex frowned. At his expression, Harry shrugged. “You don’t stop feeling like you’re gonna shoot your load. You’re hot, Alex and the fact that you want me is a huge turn on, not gonna lie.”
“Oh.” That helped. Alex let go of Harry, shoving his jeans off his hips. Harry’s eyes followed his progress, blown back at the sight of Alex in his briefs. Alex’s dick was hard, straining against his underwear, the friction from the material was both relief and torture.
“This is your first time,” Harry started, licking his lips. “So I’m gonna take the lead, all right?”
“Is there usually a pissing contest?” Alex asked innocently.
Harry burst out laughing burying his face in Alex’s chest. “Yes, actually.”
Alex flushed but kissed the crown of Harry’s head. “Well don’t worry. You lead, I’ll follow.”
Taking him at his word, Harry pulled him around until the backs of Alex’s legs were pressed to the bed. Harry kissed him, fingers teasing the waistband of Alex’s briefs and he groaned into Harry’s mouth.
Harry didn’t seem to be in a rush to do anything; they kissed for what felt like an eternity but couldn’t have been that long at all. Alex’s hand found its way onto the back of Harry’s head, fingers teasing the strands of hair at the base of his neck, tilting his head to make the angle of the kiss more comfortable.
Harry’s hands were tight on Alex’s shoulders and he moved them down to Alex’s chest, not quite certain of where he wanted to put them. When he finally pulled away from the kiss, opening his eyes slowly, he started to fall to his knees, a slow drop as his hands slid down Alex’s body.
Alex might have been a virgin, but he wasn’t stupid, and he had been intimately acquainted with porn. He knew exactly what was coming; Harry’s fingers hooked into Alex’s waistband, slowly starting to pull them down. Alex’s breath quickened, swallowing a couple of times. His hands hu
ng awkwardly at his sides, fingers twitching as if he wanted to move them, but he couldn’t.
Harry’s hands rested on his stomach having pulled his briefs halfway down his thighs and looked up at him. His eyes were dark, lost in the moment, but his smile was soft and attentive. “You doing all right?”
“Yeah,” Alex breathed, curling his hands into fists. “I don’t know what to do.”
Hands rubbing gently at Alex’s thighs, Harry leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to the skin of Alex’s stomach. It was a soothing gesture, and it helped in part, but Harry’s mouth that close to his dick was only speeding up his heart, making his hands clammy.
“You don’t have to do anything.” Harry’s eyes dropped to Alex’s dick, and his eyes darkened. He let out a slow breath; the air hit Alex’s dick and he shivered, hips stuttering toward Harry’s mouth. Harry’s smile was devious, and he leaned in, shifting one hand down to Alex’s dick, fingers curling around the base.
Alex wasn’t quite sure what the noise he let out could be called, but it was high and long. It didn’t feel like anything he did by himself; Harry’s hands were calloused from working in the bakery, and his grip was loose enough that Alex could still thrust forward. He tried, hands finally landing on Harry’s head, fingers curling into his hair. “Harry.”
“It’s all right.” Harry tipped his head back, looking up at Alex carefully. He rubbed the thumb of his free hand against Alex’s thigh. “You want to keep going?”
Alex nodded, unable to make his voice work. He swallowed, fingers flexing in Harry’s hair as Harry moved forward, pressing a kiss to the tip of Alex’s cock. He shivered, pleasure shooting through his groin. It was the first time anyone had touched him like this and he didn’t know what to do with it; he didn’t want to move, afraid of hurting Harry or having him do something he didn’t want to do.
“You can touch me,” Harry assured him, fingers sliding up and down the shaft of Alex’s dick. It wasn’t Alex’s first hand job, but it was his first hand job from someone else. The sight of Harry’s eyes trained on Alex’s dick, the way he was pressing forward, lips wrapping around the head. Alex gasped for breath, chest heaving, and he had to tip his head back, looking up at the ceiling. His heart was hammering in his chest as he smoothed down Harry’s hair.
