The Chronicles of Clyde: Unafilliated

by F. E. Arliss

  “No problem with that, our crew is good with animals,” Quirke replied, holding the supervisor’s beady gaze. “We’ve had dealings with all types of ‘em.”

  Arc supposed that Quirke was really referring to the trading supervisor, but she added, “Yes, some of us were raised on farms. So, it’s no problem.”

  With a scowl, the obese agent mopped a crumpled cloth over his sweaty brow and clicked the button on his tablet to send them the contract. “Dock Two. It’s ready when you are,” he said. Then, clearly annoyed at having lost the opportunity of putting one over on them, turned and waddled back to his office.

  Quirke grunted, then said, “I’d take elephants for this money. Says here the cargo is live agricultural and bio-diverse livestock. No details. This could be interesting.”

  Arc grinned at him and they headed off to find out what the new cargo really was. As they walked, she commed Coates and Cole to meet them at Dock Two and let Dag and Birdie know that they had a new load. The Clyde would meet them at the platform.

  Winding their way to Dock Two turned out to be a bit of an adventure. It was at the back of the trading outpost and when they finally arrived after taking three tube lifts, a tunnel, and walking forever through a maze of half-lit corridors, it was to find a baseball field-sized dome with bio-lights and filled with an assortment of huge containers with ventilated sides. This surrounded an open area of what looked like tall grasses.

  Coates and Cole were already there. “How’d you guys get here so fast?” Arc asked, astonished. “We came straight here from the contract office.”

  “We’ve been here before,” Coates said with a grin. “Had to check out the livestock with a couple of fellas we met at the bar last year. It’s a sweet operation. Bio-lights for health promotion and even central turnout if the animals need exercise. It’s a lot better than most animal loading facilities.”

  “So what do our crates contain?” Quirke rumbled. “Cattle, sheep, what?”

  “Weirdly, it’s a load of hippolytes. Or at least, that’s what they’re called. They look a lot like hippopotamus from Earth, but they have longer legs and slightly lighter bodies. Says they’re free-range grazers. Not aquatic. So, a different diet than hippos, too.” Cole said, reading the label on one of the shipping containers. “They are supposedly non-aggressive and easily handled. Sure are big, so they better be,” he added.

  Arc and Quirke both bellied up to the container to look at the beasts inside. A soft gust of green-smelling air hit Arc’s nostrils before she got a good look at the things. “They’re adorable!” she shrieked, startling Quirke, who looked at her like she’d lost her marbles. “Aren’t they cute?” Arc asked. To the silence that followed, she asked, “What? They ARE cute,” then rolled her eyes at his dismayed look. “Look at them!”

  Quirke squinted one eye and gazed into the container. “Smell like grass and crap!” the old man grumbled. “Not that cute if they shit those huge piles of crap to be cleaned up. If you think they’re so cute, you can help Coates and Cole clean the pens every day,” he added with a wink at Coates. The three men roared with laughter.

  “I don’t mind,” Arc said stoutly. “I will. I’ve scooped poop before you know? I’m actually quite proficient with a manure fork,” she added with a smug look. “You’ll see.”

  “They don’t have manure like horses, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Cole said quietly. “It’s more like cow patties. I’d say we’ll need flat shovels. Also, the manure can be banked and sold for fertilizer. It’s highly sought after, Captain,” he added to Quirke. We’ll need some big bio-containers to keep it in. It’s probably worth as much as the animals themselves. Better go round those up before we leave,” he added, turning away and clearly making mental notes about the hippolytes’ care.

  “Coates, see if they have fodder here or if we have to pick it up at a different dock. Water too. Double check that there is sufficient and ten percent extra for the haul. Don’t want our hippos coming out skinny on the other end,” Cole added thoughtfully to his companion. Clearly, the rancher in both men was coming back to the fore. Both seemed happy and eager to have animals onboard.

  Quirke was rubbing his hands together with glee over the news that the manure was extremely valuable and Arc was happy about it, too. It would be good to have living things in the ship. Clyde would take a load of animals and their poop patties without complaint.

  She might even get to see the good looking Vanguardian again. Arc left the dock with Quirke smiling. Life was good. Quirke couldn’t keep from grinning either. Somehow, his crew was happy. That made him happy. All due to a bunch of big crapping mammals. Maybe they needed a ship mascot. A dog or cat, maybe. He’d keep it in mind. Maybe a bird. He could teach it to swear.

  Chapter Seven

  Idolum Introduction

  The run to Renegar turned out to be almost idyllic. The whole crew liked the hippolytes. Even Dag and Quirke managed to find some affection for the gentle beasts. Something about them was simply charming. They tended to eat continually and, once accustomed to a person, would emit low huffs of recognition when that person entered the cargo hold.

  It was nice to be greeted by a cargo. Even Quirke had come to welcome the chorus of chuffing acknowledgement when he came down to see how they fared.

  Birdie loved them. When not working or sleeping, she could be found sitting on one of the hippolytes’ strong backs. The rest of the crew had been delighted when she’d begun singing strange little songs to them as they bedded down for sleep. It had worked like a charm … and charmed the crew too.

  Arc had a favorite. She named him Ben. As in Big Ben, the once-famous London landmark. His stomach would begin to rumble exactly five minutes before he dropped a load of grassy manure. Now she simply sat one of the wheelbarrows under his back end and then wheeled it away when he was done. It was like clockwork.

  Aside from doing his business on a schedule, he was also very affectionate, often rubbing his large head along her shoulder and grunting in satisfaction when she stood on tiptoe to rub behind his small ears.

  The whole crew had their favorites and had taken to leading them around on halter lines in preparation for disembarking on Renegar. If they each took one hippolyte on a lead line, the rest would follow of their own accord. Or so the theory went. Arc hoped it would. Having this many large animals milling around could be dangerous for unloading.

  Even Birdie had participated in the lead line exercise and was becoming more and more accustomed to the crew.

  To no one’s surprise, Quirke’s favorite was a scarred old male that grumbled under his breath while he chewed his wad of fodder. It sounded like cussing.

  Dag had taken the least liking to the big creatures but had finally caved in to affection when one of the females calved halfway through the journey. Dag was smitten by the baby bug. Surprisingly, the mother let him hold and cuddle the baby and now chuffed in recognition when he entered the hold. Once that happened, Dag, too, was a goner. It was hippolyte love all around. When they finally arrived in orbit around Renegar, no one wanted to see them go.

  Renegar was a surprise. It was a large orange ball of blazing heat and dust. Coates and Cole immediately began expressing concern that this was not the correct environment for the hippolytes. Quirke quieted them down immediately with a gruff reprimand about the cargo. They didn’t have an owner’s stake in this one. He would, on the other hand, make it clear that the hippolytes needed fodder and plenty of fresh water. That was all he could do. That had to be enough.

  To Arc’s surprise, they were told to land on an open plateau about fifty clicks from any visible habitat. They were also asked not to unload the hippolytes.

  When Arc responded that the crew would be sad to see the big animals go, the pause on the other end lasted longer than normal. The comms officer from Renegar came back with, “Good. That speaks well for your future dealing with us.” Arc arched an eyebrow at Quirke and grinned.

  “Maybe we’ll be hauling h
ippolytes again. I wouldn’t mind. Would you?” she asked.

  “No. I wouldn’t mind. You surprised me, girl, with your willingness to scoop crap. You were as good as the farm boys,” he added, referring to Cole and Coates. “I’m not sure Dag is going to give up little Izzy. He painted her toenails pink last night.”

  Arc had to snort with laughter at that one. “I’m surprised he hasn’t put a dress on her yet. She’ll outgrow the holding on his lap stage quickly. She’s growing like a weed,” Arc added. “She’ll crush him in a few weeks at this rate.”

  They’d no sooner sat Clyde down on the open plateau when a small hovercraft came into view. As it settled gently beside the Clyde and the rear ramp was lowered, Arc was pleased to see the tall Vanguardian, Caja, followed by his captain, the red-headed human, Sasha Kelty, disembarking from the small craft.

  Trailing behind Quirke at a reasonable pace, Arc managed to keep the large grin off her face. Damn that Vanguardian man was good looking!

  A burdened Dag followed, holding Izzy in his arms. Her long grey front legs were wrapped around his neck, while the rear ones trailed along one thigh. Her large ovoid head rested on one of his shoulders. They weren’t surprised to see a sparkly necklace around her fat-wrinkled neck and a small pink rose made of paper adorned one ear, held in place by a long thin wire wrapped around one perfectly-curved baby hippolyte ear.

  “They’re gettin’ to see all our peculiarities at once,” Quirke whispered to Arc under his breath.

  “Oh, I don’t know about that, Sir,” Arc said seriously. “They haven’t seen you sleeping under the nav unit yet.”

  Quirke nodded thoughtfully. “We do have a mighty heap of oddities, that’s for sure,” he acknowledged. “They seem to have quite a few as well, if that contract was anything to go by.”

  “I’m Commander Quirke of the Clyde,” he stated, extending a hand to the beautiful redheaded woman in front. “I believe you know my First Mate, Arc Copperfield,” he added, waving a grizzled hand in Arc’s direction. “The tall ‘un back there with baby Izzy is Dag Whitsun, my Second Mate.” Arc stepped forward and nodded to the woman and grinned at the large Vanguardian beside her.

  The redhead extended her hand, “I’m Captain Kelty. I believe you know my First Officer, Caja. We’re delighted to see that you’ve taken to our hippolytes. If baby Izzy is anything to go by, they’ve been in good care.”

  “The crew’s taken quite a shine to them,” Quirke agreed. “Please come aboard and check on them if you’d like, before we conclude our business.” Quirke offered his arm to Captain Kelty and Arc saw that he was delighted when she accepted it. Arc fell in beside Caja and they all followed Dag back up the ramp. Baby Izzy’s big brown eyes followed them curiously.

  Entering the cargo bay, an odiferous wave of animal, green grass, and manure smell hit them. “Ah, smells perfect,” said Captain Kelty laughing up at Quirke. “Just like it’s supposed to. Grass, manure and hippo. Well done, Commander!” she said, patting his arm enthusiastically. “They do look happy,” she added thoughtfully.

  “We each have our own favorites, ‘course,” Quirke said to her gruffly, reaching out to accept the chuffing head rub of the old scarred male hippo that had come to greet him. “This is Rex. He’s a dinosaur, like me.”

  “It’s clear your Second Mate is fond of the baby. I take it the female next to him now is the baby’s mother?” Captain Kelty asked.

  “Yup! That little whelp on the back of the big male over there is Birdie.” Quirke made the introductions, waving a gnarled finger towards each crew member. “This tall lad here with the small female hippo is Cole. The short stocky one with the small male hippolyte is Coates. The fat hippo sidling up to Arc there is her favorite, Ben.”

  “We’ve all got our own that we’ve grown fond of. It’ll be hard to see them go.” the old Commander said gruffly. “Hope you take good care of them. If you don’t mind me saying, this planet doesn’t look like the best place for them, ma’am,” he added lifting one squirrely eyebrow at her in question.

  “Well, they won’t be staying here. So, you’re very right about that. I’m happy to see you’re concerned about the well-being of your cargo, Commander,” Captain Kelty added with a soft smile. “Please, a moment to speak in private, Commander Quirke,” she added.

  “Right this way, Captain,” he agreed and escorted Captain Kelty into the small observation room at the top of the cargo bay’s observation walk.

  Taking the next few minutes to flirt shamelessly with Caja, Arc kept one eye on the conversation in the observation booth. Both she and Caja, though happy to see each other, were wondering about the conversation and accepted the other’s curious upward glances while they caught up.

  Half an hour later, Quirke and Captain Kelty descended to meet Caja and Arc. They were arm in arm again and had clearly arrived at an agreement.

  “As you see, we’ve come to a mutually agreeable amendment to the contract,” Captain Kelty said, smiling at Caja and Arc. “The Clyde will be taking the hippolytes to their final destination. I am glad to know they will be in good hands and that we now have a new ally,” she added looking at Caja, as some secret code passed between them.

  Extending a hand to Arc and grasping it, she said, “Welcome to the Alliance, First Mate Copperfield. We will leave the Commander to bring you and the rest of your crew into the loop while the extra fodder and water is loaded for the remaining leg of the journey.”

  Smiling, Captain Kelty hugged Commander Quirke, causing him to shrink back a little in surprise. “Best get used to that Commander,” Caja said with a grin. “She’s a hugger.”

  “That will be easy to do, First Officer. That will be easy to do,” Quirke repeated with a grin.

  Seeing Caja and Captain Kelty off the Clyde, Arc was able to catch a wink from Caja that had her returning his own smile, widely. They’d be seeing each other again. That was good. With a skip in her step she headed back to find out what the Alliance was. Sounded interesting and mysterious. Could be fun!

  Chapter Eight

  Idolum Alliance

  None of the crew were saying a thing. They were just staring at Commander Quirke as though the grizzled old man had started wearing lipstick. Maybe he’d lost his mind? Been infected with some sort of parasite? Whatever had happened, this couldn’t be right, could it? Were they really delivering this load of hippolytes to an Idolum world on the fringes of the known universes?

  “Get your asses going. We need to take on cargo here on Renegar so that we’ve got enough water and fodder for the hippos ‘til we get to this Idolum outpost. Don’t just stare at me like I’ve lost my mind, I haven’t, so heave to you lazy dogs!” shouted Quirke, his wizened face turning a mottled red.

  “Yes, I said Idolum. Captain Kelty assures me that they won’t kill us or the hippolytes. They’ll take excellent care of the hippos and bond with them for life. So, stop worrying about your cargo’s well-being and start worrying about your own asses. ‘Cause I’m going to have them in a sling if I don’t see some movement,” he bellowed.

  Arc stirred, stepped forward, shrugged her shoulders and said, “Dag, get the ramp lowered so we can load the fodder. Birdie see to the water system so we can load more. Coates and Cole, keep the herd quiet while we do this.” Turning her back on the crew she looked Quirke straight in the eye, winked, then said, “Well this is going to be an adventure,” threw back her head and laughed ‘til her guts hurt.

  Turning to the crew she yelled, “Let’s get this done so we can lay eyes on a real Idolum! Woohoo, we’re a madcap batch of misfits and we’re going to go make a legend!!” The rest of the crew stood, mouths still agape for a few moments, then started laughing.

  Dag grinned at her and said, “You’re just as crazy as he is, and we’re all nuts too, since we don’t seem to mind,” he added, looking at the rest of the crew. Birdie rolled her eyes. Coates and Cole both shrugged, then everyone moved out to their assigned duties.

  “That is one resilient
crew, Commander. I think we will all need a raise after this one,” Arc said, her visage returning to its normally unflappable state. “We’ll have earned it, I believe,” she added in a prim voice.

  Quirke grinned at her. “Yep, girl, I suppose they will have,” he chuckled. “Good work getting them moving again.” He turned and left the bay, laughing raucously under his breath.

  Arc snorted, shook her head and went to tell everyone that they were all getting a big bonus for this run. Not exactly what Quirke had agreed to, but she’d make sure it happened. Idolum outpost indeed!

  During the voyage, Commander Quirke filled them in on the feud among the Idolum race. Almost nine millennia ago, the most famous and revered queen in the Idolum empire, Altum Vis, had died, leaving an enormous gap in the power structure of the Idolum species. War broke out, resulting in ongoing conflicts between the Idolum nests vying for power.

  Just a few years ago, an imprisoned Idolum General named Shale, had escaped the prison asteroid Alcatraz accompanied by his human energy worker. Whether she’d been kidnapped or been an accomplice, no one was quite sure. There was still some disagreement on that note to this day.