Meadowlark

by Carolyn Lampman

  “A lot can change in a year,” he began.

  “Not with my lady,” Cameron said with a confident smile. “When she said ‘I love you’ she meant it.”

  The air suddenly left Garrick’s lungs. “She said she loved you?” He was vaguely surprised his voice worked. In all the months he and Becky had been together, she had never once told Garrick she loved him.

  “All the time. Enough of that. How is it I find you two out here without an army escort?”

  Garrick was barely aware of the conversation going on between Ox and Cameron. All he could think of was Becky saying she loved Cameron. And why not? He was everything Garrick was not—handsome, self-assured; he was even a good conversationalist.

  It was nearly impossible for Garrick to subdue the jealous demon that threatened to overcome his good sense. Finally, though, his calm logic won out. He’d always known he was going to have to leave eventually. When he’d seen Daniel Dutton twice in less than eight months, he knew it would probably be sooner rather than later. At least this way he’d know Becky and Alaina were taken care of, and by the man who should have been there in the first place. And Becky loved him.

  Briefly, the wish that he’d left Cameron to the renegades flitted across Garrick’s mind, but he knew it wasn’t true. Becky was right about him. Even knowing the stranger threatened everything that was dear to him, he couldn’t have walked away and left Cameron to his fate.

  He cast a sidelong glance at Cameron Price. To see his relaxed posture, you’d never know how close he’d come to dying. He was apparently one of those men who thrived on danger, the kind heroes were made of. And Becky loved him.

  As light faded from the sky, he fought the desire to give Cameron Price some good stiff competition. If by some miracle he could overcome the odds that were clearly stacked against him, he couldn’t change the fact that he was a wanted man. He would stay around long enough to make sure Cameron married her, then he’d make good his escape. The decision brought a flood of anguish, but he knew he had no choice.

  Though it was long after dark when they finally arrived in South Pass City, none of them even considered the possibility of camping along the road. Leaving the other two men to the tender mercies of Angel and her girls, Garrick headed home.

  For three weeks, all he’d thought about was seeing Becky again and begging her forgiveness. He’d been willing to do anything she asked of him no matter what the cost to his pride. All that had changed this afternoon. Now, instead of mending the breech, he had to sever the ties that bound them together. He’d rather cut off his arm.

  The cabin was dark as he let himself in. Only the embers glowing in the fireplace lit the interior. Home. The familiar shadows and smells surrounded him like a welcome cocoon.

  “Garrick?” Becky’s voice held a note of uncertainty. He could see her sitting up in bed, holding the blanket in front of her.

  “Ja, it’s me.”

  “Oh, Garrick.” She jumped out of bed, ran across the room and threw her arms around him. “I missed you so much.”

  With a groan, he dropped the bedroll he was carrying and pulled her into his arms. “I missed you too, little one.”

  “I’m so sorry, Garrick,” she said, “I know you did what you—”

  He silenced her with a kiss. All thoughts of telling her the truth and walking out of her life disappeared in a swirl of desire. Suddenly, making love to Becky became as necessary as breathing. He swept her up in his arms and carried her to the bed.

  “Garrick…” Becky’s whisper sounded like a caress as they settled into the welcome warmth together. She cupped his face in her hands and kissed first an eyebrow then the bridge of his nose before brushing her lips across his as though she couldn’t quite believe he was really there.

  They had no need for words while nimble fingers made quick work of her nightgown and his clothes. They each understood the other perfectly as they pushed each other to the limits of sensual delight.

  As they made love, Garrick had the irrational desire to pull her inside himself, to make her a permanent part of him that could never be removed. The pleasure he gave her was a bittersweet reminder that it would all be over soon, and he would have nothing but memories of the special magic between them.

  Afterwards, Garrick ignored the pricks from his conscience as he held her close, next to his heart. He knew he should tell her the truth about their marriage now, but this night was all he had left, and he wasn’t going to waste a second of it.

  “Garrick?” Becky rubbed her hands up the hard plane of his back. She could feel the desperation in him, and it made her nervous. “Did something happen on your trip?”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know. You just seem kind of...tense.”

  “Nothing for you to be concerned about.”

  “Ox?”

  “Is pulling at the bit waiting to get that splint off his arm. He figured on seeing Dr. Caldwell tomorrow to get rid of it. How’s Alaina?”

  “She got another tooth and can sit up all by herself now. Last night just before bed, she rolled all the way over.” Becky chuckled. “Oh, Garrick, you should have seen her. She was so surprised.”

  “She’ll be walking before you know it.” And I won’t be here to see it. He swallowed against the sudden knot in his throat.

  “Garrick, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Don’t lie to me. You looked so strange just now—”

  “Shhh,” he said, pulling her closer. “Just let me hold you.” He buried his face in her hair and inhaled the fragrance of apple blossoms. Not for the first time, he wondered how she always managed to smell so good.

  “You’re avoiding my question.” Becky’s voice was panicky now. “Something’s wrong!”

  “I know,” he murmured as his lips grazed the sensitive skin below her ear and his fingers traced erotic patterns on her back. “It’s been at least a quarter of an hour since I made love to you.”

  “It won’t work, Garrick.” Her words came out in a breathless whisper, but there was a note of steely determination that was impossible to ignore. “If you succeed in distracting me this time, I’ll just ask you again when we’re finished. You can’t make love to me all night long. Even you have your limits.”

  Garrick sighed. She was right, of course. Experience had shown him the futility of not telling her what she wanted to know, but a full confession could wait. There was no way he could inform her they weren’t really married when she lay naked in his arms, and he certainly wasn’t going to tell her Cameron Price was back. “We ran into some trouble with a band of renegades today. I guess I’m still a little shook up.”

  “Oh, no.” A flicker of fear showed in the depths of Becky’s eyes as she stared at him. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “Ja, I’m fine, and so is Ox. I can’t say the same for the Indians though.”

  “What happened?”

  “We were safe enough,” Garrick said with a shrug. “I used a couple of kegs of black powder to close off the entrance of the box canyon they were in is all. They won’t be bothering anyone else for a while.”

  “Oh, Garrick, you might have been killed.”

  “See, that’s why I didn’t want to tell you. I knew you’d get upset.” Garrick silenced her protest with a finger against her lips. “Shhh, it’s over, and everything’s fine. Now about that challenge you issued...” He traced the curve of her cheek with the pad of his thumb.

  “What challenge?”

  “That I couldn’t make love to you all night. Would you care to let me try?”

  “Mmmm.” She put her arms around his neck and settled herself more comfortably against his body. “What are you waiting for? Morning comes early this time of year.”

  The sky was just turning pink as Garrick leaned over Alaina’s cradle. With gentle fingers, he touched the curls on her head. No matter that he wasn’t her natural father, Alaina would always be his first-born. How he wanted to pick her up and
hold her close one last time. Regretfully, he turned away. He couldn’t risk her waking up Becky.

  Becky. Already his heart was breaking, and he hadn’t even finished packing his clothes. His gaze strayed to the bed where she lay fast asleep. Garrick felt a slight twinge of guilt as he noticed the faint shadows under her eyes. She hadn’t complained a bit during the long night, but she was clearly exhausted. In his desperation, he’d forgotten she lacked his stamina.

  With a grimace, he turned away and finished stuffing his clothes in a bag. At the door, he paused with his hand on the latch and glanced back at the bed. What would it hurt? As deeply as she slept she’d never even know. He was across the room in a few strides. There was a suspicious prickle behind his eyes as he knelt beside her. Lord how he loved this woman. With infinite tenderness, he touched her lips in a feather-light kiss. “Jeg elsker deg, vesla,” he whispered.

  Feeling as though his heart were being ripped from his chest, he stood and strode to the door. Now, that had been a stupid thing to do. As if the pain of leaving wasn’t bad enough already.

  A few minutes later, Becky opened her eyes in confusion. She didn’t know what had awakened her, but she could have sworn she heard Garrick say Jeg elsker deg before he stomped away and slammed out of the house. Was he angry? What about? Surely not last night. She may have pushed him a little hard, but… No, of course not. That was silly. He would have stopped if he wanted to. She must have misunderstood him.

  With a sigh Becky, closed her eyes again. Oh, what a night...what a long, glorious, wonderful night. She went back to sleep with a smile on her face.

  “You look like something the cat dragged in,” Angel said several hours later when Becky arrived at The Green Garter. “Did Alaina get another tooth?”

  Becky blushed. “No, Garrick came home last night. He....uh...”

  “Never mind, I get the picture. He tell you much about his trip?” Angel’s voice was casual, but she watched Becky closely beneath her lashes.

  “No, not really, only that they had some trouble with the Indians. Did Ox get his splint off like he was supposed to?”

  “Yes, and he’s probably already left town. He says even with Swede’s help that quarantine set him back nearly a week.”

  “Miss Angel,” said Sam from the doorway. “There’s a problem with that last case of whiskey I opened. Do you want to come look at it?”

  “Oh, I suppose so.” Angel rose from the chair with a sigh. “Sometimes I wonder why I wanted my own business,” she muttered as she followed Sam out of the room.

  Becky smiled to herself as she plied her needle. Angel might complain about it, but she thrived on all the decision-making and responsibilities that went with The Green Garter.

  “I don’t care if he is about the most handsome man that ever came in here. If Collette wants him, she can have him. One man’s pretty much the same as another as far as I’m concerned, and I sure as hell ain’t gonna get her mad at me.”

  The two women didn’t even notice Becky tucked away in her usual corner as they came into the kitchen to get coffee. “No man is worth her spite,” the other woman agreed. “Still, it was a pretty interesting story he and Ox told.”

  “Sure was. That Swede, ain’t he something? Imagine him setting all those charges to make them think the army was shooting at them.”

  “I liked the part where he went right into the Indian camp, stole their prisoner, and got them both out before the powder went off!”

  “I missed the end ‘cause the Thomas boy just had to go upstairs right then. How did Swede stop the Indians from comin’ after them?”

  “He blew up the cliffs all along the end of the canyon and filled the entrance full of rocks. Ain’t that the dangest thing you ever heard?”

  Becky sat frozen in her chair as she listened. We were safe enough, he’d said. Safe when he’d gone into an Indian camp by himself? What if they’d seen him? Or what if he hadn’t made it back out before the powder blew? She felt sick to her stomach just imagining the possibilities.

  No wonder he hadn’t wanted to tell her about the Indians. He knew she’d be furious that he’d risked his life again without a second thought. Maybe he was right, too. Nothing was gained by getting mad after it was all over with.

  Suddenly, she remembered her waking dream that morning. Had he really said Jeg elsker deg? He had never liked her interfering with what he thought was right. Maybe her insistence made him angry. He might even still be mad about the fight they’d had before he left with Ox. It was hard to know with Garrick. He never told her what he was feeling.

  It took about five minutes to get over feeling guilty and two more to become rip-roaring mad. She was his wife and had a perfect right to worry about him. Marriage was sharing, not just the good, but the bad too. They were going to get this straightened out, even if she had to back him up against the wall to do it. It was too bad Garrick disliked conflict, because right after supper tonight he was going to get the confrontation of his life!

  Chapter 25

  “Come on, Sweetheart, I’m not in the mood to fight with you this morning,” Becky said, as Alaina giggled and kicked her feet free of the blanket for the third time. “We’re going to go find Daddy.”

  “Daa!”

  Becky stared at her daughter in surprise. “Daddy?” she said experimentally.

  “Daaa.” Alaina gave her mother a grin and tried to turn over on the table where Becky was dressing her.

  “At least Daddy will have something to make him smile,” Becky muttered as she captured Alaina and rewrapped her in the blanket. “He may need it after I get done with him.”

  Becky’s anger hadn’t abated one jot since yesterday. In fact, it had intensified. Garrick hadn’t come home last night. Becky was so tired from her sleepless night that she’d fallen asleep waiting for him to come home and hadn’t reawakened until this morning. It was probably just as well. If she hadn’t fallen asleep, she’d have gone to The Green Garter or where ever he was hiding and dragged him home by his ear.

  “It figures,” Becky grouched as she finally stepped through the door with Alaina in her arms and eyed the muddy road. “Guess we’d better walk, honey. I don’t want to get the buckboard stuck.”

  Other than the melting snow and the mud, she hardly noticed that spring had finally arrived in the high country as she followed the familiar track to town. Her mind was too busy dwelling on the upcoming confrontation with Garrick. She’d played it a thousand different ways in her mind, and all of them ended the same way—with her in his arms confessing how much she loved him. Irrational as it seemed, the fantasy just wouldn’t go away.

  It was possible, of course, but only if they got past the argument part first. Given Garrick’s penchant for walking out in the middle of a fight, she had decided to place herself between him and the door. He wouldn’t walk over the top of her to get out of his own shop in the middle of the morning...would he?

  Becky sighed. With his temper, who knew what he’d do? She fully intended to tell him what she thought of his tactics before she offered a compromise to their problem. If he would let her be part of his life in every way, she would try to understand when he did what she considered stupid things like saving complete strangers from marauding Indians. Then she’d tell him she loved him, that he was the best thing that had ever happened to her, and that she reacted the way she did because she was afraid of losing him.

  That’s when he’d take her in his arms and say he felt the same. Oh, if only it would go that way. For about the hundredth time, she wondered why he was angry with her. She didn’t precisely know what Jeg elsker deg meant, but the only other time he’d ever said it, he’d been mad. When she said it to him, he seemed to find it quite amusing. What had she done this time that made him want to curse at her?

  He was busy at the forge when Becky and Alaina arrived at the shop. The sheriff stood nearby chatting. Garrick looked up when they entered; his beautiful smile instantly transforming his face at the sight of t
hem. Was it her imagination, or did it falter a heartbeat later?

  She couldn’t be sure; the only light came from the open door and the forge. Garrick said darkness was necessary because he judged the heat of the metal by its color. Squinting into the dark interior, Becky walked in and sat on the big cottonwood block that Garrick had put there for her months ago. Becky put Alaina in the small wooden pen Garrick had built. With a sigh, the baby closed her eyes and promptly went to sleep. Becky smiled. The clamorous sounds of the smithy did it every time.

  How Becky loved to come here and watch Garrick work. The gleam of sweat on his bare arms and the motion of the thick muscles as he worked the iron never failed to move her, but it was more than that. There was a quiet joy that radiated from his face as he smoothed and shaped the iron with the same loving touch he used on wood. This was his element, and he loved every inch of it, from the cinders on the floor to the acrid smell of hot metal.

  As the rhythmic clang of the hammer on the metal began to soothe her, Becky fought to hang on to her irritation. The last thing she needed was to calm down. It was going to take ferocious anger to break through that Scandinavian composure of his.

  “Guess I’d best be going,” the sheriff said at last. “I appreciate you taking the time to do this for me, Swede.”

  “I should have it done for you by noon, John,” Garrick said as the sheriff touched his hat to Becky and turned to go.

  Left alone with Becky, Garrick knew himself for a coward. After a great deal of thought, he’d decided this would be the least painful for her, but lord, how he dreaded it.

  With Cameron Price back in her life, he knew she’d come to ask for her freedom, a freedom she didn’t even realize was already hers. It would be simple, a clean break, neat, and quick. For two days, he’d been consoling himself with the thought of how grateful she’d be. It would be as easy and pleasant as walking through his forge barefoot.

  She surprised him by opening a window for light, then calmly closing the door.