Pretty Dead Girls

by Monica Murphy

  Anticipation fills me as I open the paper, which is ridiculous. This is Cass. And we’re passing notes back and forth like we’re lovesick twelve-year-olds.

  I want to talk to you. Meet me by the bathrooms in ten?

  Glancing up with a frown, our gazes meet. How? I mouth at him.

  Watch me, he mouths back, just before he raises his hand.

  “Yes, Cass?” Mrs. Emmert asks wearily when she spots him.

  He drops his arm. “I forgot I need to go to the main office.”

  Mrs. Emmert frowns. “Why?”

  “My grandma left something there for me to pick up.” His expression is completely solemn as he adds, “It’s personal.”

  A few of the jocks start snickering, but Cass ignores them. So does Mrs. Emmert.

  “Go ahead,” she says, making a shooing gesture with her hands. “But don’t take too long.”

  “I won’t,” he promises her as he gathers up his stuff, shoves it all into his backpack before he whispers to me, “Get a hall pass in like, five minutes.”

  Then he flashes me a smile and leaves.

  His departure disrupts the classroom and Mrs. Emmert gives up for a few minutes, going over to her desk to take a few swigs from her Dr Pepper. Courtney whisper-shouts from where she’s sitting two desks over, her eyebrows raised when I ask her what’s up.

  “What’s up with you? Suddenly getting all cozy with Cass?” Court smirks. “Decided to give the dark side a try or what?”

  Panic makes my stomach twist. Did she see us passing notes? “What do you mean?”

  “He whispered something to you before he left.” Her smile is small, and vaguely evil, if that’s even a thing. “I saw him. And he smiled at you. He never smiles at anyone.”

  He doesn’t? “Oh, he said everyone in this class is a bunch of assholes, and that made me laugh because it’s not a lie, you know?” I laugh again, though it sounds fake, not that Court notices. She laughs, too, and nods, dramatically rolling her eyes when Mrs. Emmert claps her hands and demands our attention.

  Not five minutes later I’m ducking out of class, the hall pass clutched in my hand as I make my way to the bathrooms. I glance around the empty hall, looking for Cass, but I don’t see him anywhere.

  Maybe we’re not going to be able to talk after all. Why do I feel disappointed? I don’t trust him. I don’t even really know him. One chat in my car after a string of ominous texts doesn’t form a friendship.

  I’m about to push the door into the girls’ bathroom when I hear something.

  “Psst.”

  I look over at the boys’ bathroom to see Cass holding open the door, already inside. He takes my hand and yanks me in with him, shutting and locking the door behind us.

  “Hey!” I protest as I shake his hand off mine. “Why’d you lock it? Won’t someone try to come in?”

  “I want to have a private conversation with you.” Something about the way he says private makes me want to shiver, and not in a bad way either.

  “What if someone tries to open the door?” And why am I so fixated on the door? Because I don’t want to think about why I’m alone with Cass in the boys’ bathroom in the middle of third period? This has gotten really weird.

  “If someone does, we stay quiet until he leaves.” He shrugs, shoves his hands in his front pockets, and watches me. “So you’re telling me the truth? You’re really okay?”

  I nod, glancing around the bathroom. I’ve never been in here before, and it looks just like ours, with the exception of the three urinals hanging on the wall. “I don’t mean to be rude but…why do you care? It’s not like we’re close friends or whatever.”

  “Hate to say it, but that sounded kind of rude to me,” he says with a faint smile, and I can tell he’s joking. And that he’s not afraid to call me out on my crap. “I don’t know. After we talked, I felt bad for telling you all that stuff.”

  “You felt bad?”

  “I didn’t mean to put theories in your head, you know? You’re friends with those girls, and here I am, coming at you with accusations against Courtney.”

  True. “Do you still think she’s involved?”

  “Honestly?” Our gazes meet. Hold. His expression is serious. Like, deadly serious. “Not really.”

  I tilt my head. “Why?”

  “It’s too obvious. She’s too obvious. I don’t think the person who killed Lex and Gretchen would act like Court does.”

  “So you think the same person killed both girls.”

  “Definitely. Don’t you?”

  “Of course.”

  “Who do you think did it?”

  I shrug. “I have no idea. Who do you think did it?” This conversation is kind of bizarre and feels like we’re getting nowhere.

  “I have some new theories.” He says nothing else, and I figure he’s silent on purpose.

  “Is that why you dragged me into the boys’ bathroom, then? To tell me you have new theories?”

  “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay,” he says, his voice soft.

  But I’m too frustrated to pay attention to his soft voice and warm brown eyes. Forget it. I’m sort of mad now, and I don’t really understand why. “Why do you care if I’m okay? Why do you care at all? You don’t even know me.”

  He takes a step back, clearly offended. “I don’t know, considering how defensive you’re acting.”

  “Defensive?” My voice is rising. As in, I’m yelling. “You say words like that and I feel like you’re accusing me of something.”

  He shrugs. “Take it as you will.”

  I stare at him for a moment, wondering if his new theory involves…

  Me.

  “You’re an asshole,” I tell him before I stomp toward the door and turn the lock so I can rush outside. He doesn’t follow after me.

  And he never comes back to class, either.

  Chapter

  Eighteen

  I’m angry for the rest of the day, and I’m glad I don’t spot Cass at lunch, because I’d probably rip into him and call him all sorts of names. I know that sounds crazy, but I can’t help my feelings. It’s like my emotions are all over the place, all because he called me defensive.

  Maybe I am defensive. Maybe I’m on edge. Maybe I’m scared someone is watching me and might try to off me next. Gretchen and Lex were both strong girls. Stronger than me, at least physically. I probably couldn’t fight off this creep if he came at me and tried to kill me.

  Or she. It could be a she. It could be anyone.

  We sat in the library for lunch, just Dani and me in a quiet corner, sharing a Fiji water and a packaged salad her mom keeps on hand for days when we don’t leave campus. And right now, they’re not letting anyone leave. We’re all prisoners trapped at Cape Bonita, since the teachers and administration don’t want to let us out of their sights.

  I’m glad to be alone with Dani, considering I don’t want to deal with anyone during lunch. I don’t want to listen to Courtney and everyone else talking about the party this weekend, which is bullshit. That’s all it is, complete bullshit. I’m over this entire thing. People pretending they care about Gretchen and Lex when really they just want to party.

  But I’m no better. Not really. Do I miss Gretchen and Lex? I would never, ever wish them dead, and I’m sad they’re gone, but I wouldn’t say I miss them. Which sucks, right? I’m an awful person who doesn’t care. That’s how I feel. I remain pretty quiet throughout lunch, letting Dani jabber on about all kinds of stuff. She doesn’t even realize I’m being abnormally quiet and I’m sort of glad. This way, she won’t question me too much.

  Right after lunch, though, I’m called into Mrs. Adney’s office. The second time in less than a month, which isn’t cool. People are starting to talk. And if it’s those detectives wanting to interrogate me again, I’m going to freak out. They really should focus their energy elsewhere, not on me. I know nothing.

  Well. Not really. Cass’s theories are overblown. And I have no idea who might’
ve done this. So I’m just keeping my mouth shut.

  It’s probably best.

  When I show up just outside Mrs. Adney’s door and see who else is in her office, I figure out quick what this visit is all about.

  “Hi Mrs. Adney.” I stop in the open doorway and smile at her. She scowls in return. “You wanted to see me?”

  “Sit down.” She waves a hand toward the empty chair between where Courtney and Danielle sit.

  I do as she demands, shooting Dani a sympathetic smile.

  Yet I don’t even bother looking in Court’s direction. I’m still pissed at her about this Friday-night party thing. We haven’t really talked beyond that one minor moment in physics class, when she gave me crap over Cass. The last real conversation I had with Court was when she left my house Tuesday morning with two of my mom’s homemade brownies wrapped in a napkin and tucked inside her Gucci purse.

  “My three senior Larks. How are you all doing?” Mrs. Adney settles into the chair behind her desk and studies us with that hawk-like gaze of hers. I do my best not to squirm in my seat, but Dani’s sitting next to me, wiggling her butt like she’s ready to leap out of her chair at any second. Courtney, on the other hand, is totally relaxed, slumping down like she doesn’t have a care in the world.

  “It’s been very difficult. We can’t believe both Gretchen and Lex are gone,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

  “Right. You girls are so torn up, you’re planning on having a party to celebrate the loss of your friends this Friday night.”

  Courtney opens her mouth to argue, but Mrs. Adney shuts her down with only a look. “I cannot believe you girls would plan something like this. I thought you knew better. All three of you are considered leaders; girls look up to you. You’re leaders of one of the most coveted and respected organizations in this school. Yet you plan something so incredibly insensitive and downright callous, considering what’s happened to our school these last few weeks. Don’t you think so, Courtney?”

  Court sits up straight, her expression serious, even a little sad. She knows how to put it on when she needs to. “I know we’re supposed to be in mourning, Mrs. Adney. And we are, I promise. What’s happened to CBP and to the Larks is awful. A total tragedy, and those girls will be missed, most of all by me.” I come this close to reminding her of her awful speech at Gretchen’s candlelight vigil, but I keep my mouth shut. “But sometimes, even in the absolute darkness of tragedy, we need to let loose and remember that we’re still alive. We need to strive toward the light.”

  Oh my God, is she for real? The girl is ballsy, I’ll give her that.

  “To be honest, Courtney, I’m particularly concerned by your behavior.” Mrs. Adney shakes her head. “I think we should have a meeting and get your parents involved.”

  I’m silent, deathly still. So is Dani. I can’t believe Mrs. Adney is saying this in front of us, and I think Court feels the same. Her face is red, like she’s going to blow at any moment, and I grip my chair handles so tight my fingers ache.

  “Mrs. Adney.” Courtney tries to smile but it’s shaky. “You don’t have to do that. My parents don’t need to be involved.”

  “Too late. I’ve already called them. But we’ll discuss that privately in a moment.” Mrs. Adney turns to look at Dani and me, her gaze narrowed. “Penelope and Danielle, I’m disappointed and surprised the both of you would support something like this.”

  I don’t want her to call my parents, either. No way. “The issue was discussed, and we brought it to vote during a casual Larks get-together, but I voted against it,” I tell Mrs. Adney. I can feel Courtney glaring, her anger radiating toward me in palpable waves, but I ignore her. I want Mrs. Adney to know I never supported Court’s idea, and I refuse to go down with her. “I’m worried over who we might end up offending.”

  “Right. Like the girls’ families.” Mrs. Adney stares hard at Courtney. “This is not the time to have a party. You know this.”

  “I can do whatever I want as long as I’m not on school grounds,” Court says defiantly, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “You can’t stop me.”

  “The Larks is a school organization—”

  “Fine, then this particular party won’t be sponsored by the Larks,” Courtney says, looking pleased that she was able to talk over Mrs. Adney. “I’m the one who’s sponsoring this fund-raiser for Lex and Gretchen. Who will want to stop me when I’m doing a good deed? I’m sure my parents will support it.”

  Court has to be bluffing. She just told us she could have this party because her parents will be out of the country. If they find out about the planned party—and you know Mrs. Adney is going to tell them—they’re going to shut her down fast.

  Mrs. Adney sighs heavily before she turns to stare down Dani. “What about you? How can you explain your part in this atrocity?”

  “Um, well. I thought…” Dani shrugs and looks down, twisting her hands together in her lap. “I thought it might be fun, you know? We could have a little party and relax after all the seriousness of the last few weeks. It’s been really stressful for everyone, especially the seniors. I haven’t been able to work on my college applications as much as I’ve wanted to, what with everything going on.”

  “Uh-huh, sounds very stressful. While the Nelson and Nguyen families have lost their daughters forever.” Mrs. Adney slaps the edge of her desk so hard it makes all three of us startle. “I would strongly advise against having this party, Courtney, and I’m going to say the same thing to your parents. But as you stated, if you want to host this special little get-together on private property and as long as the Larks aren’t associated with it, then I can’t stop you.”

  Courtney looks terribly pleased with herself, despite Mrs. Adney calling her parents. She just won that battle.

  “I would suggest, Penelope, that you avoid going to the party. You, too, Danielle.” Mrs. Adney nods once. “You’re dismissed. Go back to your class. And don’t dawdle!”

  The moment we hustle out of the main office, Courtney is in full-on attack mode.

  “Way to make me look like a total shithead, Penny. Thanks for the support,” she says snidely.

  “Hey, you know how I felt about this situation. I never wanted to have this party. I’ve said that from the start,” I remind her. “It was all your idea, I just got outvoted.”

  “Yeah, but you didn’t need to tell her that you voted against the idea. Now I look like a total bitch, and Mrs. Adney is trying to keep you out of the party when I’ll need your help!”

  I shrug. She wants me there so I can help her? Screw that. “I never planned on going in the first place. So I wouldn’t have been much help.”

  Courtney comes to a stop, as does Dani. “What did you just say?”

  We’re standing in the middle of the empty hall, most everyone tucked away in their classes. “I didn’t want to go. I still don’t want to go. So.” I take a deep breath. “I’m not going.”

  “Fine. You’re not invited.” Courtney sniffs. “I don’t want you there. If you show up at my front door, you’ll be turned away.”

  “Good.” I tilt my head up, hoping I look like I don’t care. I really don’t. There’s just hoping you don’t make an ass of yourself, and then there’s social suicide. And I feel like Courtney hosting this party is flat-out social suicide.

  “Penelope,” Dani starts, and I turn to glare at her, shutting her up.

  “Since when did you turn into such a righteous little bitch, Penny?” Courtney asks.

  “Since when did you turn into such an attention-seeking whore, Court?” I break out into a big smile, keeping my voice disgustingly pleasant. “Oh, that’s right. You’ve been keeping that up for years. Nice to see you’ve been staying consistent! Even Mrs. Adney said so.”

  Um.

  Wow.

  I can’t believe I just said that.

  But…it’s the truth. I’ve always kept quiet and let the girls act like they usually do. So they’re bitches to everyone, so what? Th
at’s what I would tell myself. I sort of fell into their ways, though I tried to be kinder. My older sister was no better. She wasn’t just queen bee at the school, she was also queen bitch. When we were younger, she terrified me most of the time.

  She’s better now. But am I? Or am I just a queen bitch, too?

  No one is laughing. No one is gasping or yelling, either. We’re all three just staring at one another like we’re having some sort of face off, and in a way, I suppose we are.

  I refuse to look away first. Seems like Courtney feels the same way. It’s finally Dani who breaks the tension.

  “I hate it when you guys fight,” she says softly.

  “Too late. We’re fighting.” I raise my brows and pin my gaze on Court. “You really think you’re going to have a blow-out bash for two dead girls and people will actually show up?”

  “Better than sitting at home and doing nothing about it. Maybe we could bring out the killer with this party. Did you ever think of that?” With a huff and a flounce of her tiny plaid skirt—she likes to roll up her waistband to show off more leg—Courtney stalks down the hall toward her class, never once looking back.

  “Is she for real?” Dani asks the moment Courtney’s out of earshot. “Do you really think she’s having this party to lure out Gretchen and Lex’s killer?”

  I shrug, kind of pissed I didn’t think of the idea first, since it’s a good one. I can admit it. Though it’s scary, too. What if Court’s party does bring the killer out? What then? The way Courtney’s acting is totally reckless. “Maybe. I don’t know. She’s crazy to do something like that, though it’s also kind of smart. I doubt she’s the one who came up with it.”

  “Who would?”

  “I don’t know.” I shrug. “Maybe the cops?”

  “You really think so?” Realization dawns all over Dani’s expressive face. “You think Court is working with the cops?”

  “Who knows?” I can’t imagine Courtney willingly working with the police department, but stranger things have happened. “I’m so confused with everything going on, I don’t know what to think anymore.”