A Life Apart: A Darcy and Elizabeth Pride and Prejudice Variation

by Harriet Knowles

  He couldn’t imagine sitting through lunch with Bingley’s sisters. “Oh, and tell my valet to pack.”

  “Yes, sir.” Mr. Leigh bowed and left the room. Darcy watched him go. He had set the wheels in motion. He must go through with it.

  He turned into the breakfast room and poured himself coffee. He was impatient to be gone, to get this done. But he could not get there too early. It was unlikely that Miss Bennet would be in a position to receive him just yet.

  For the first time he wondered what her forename was. If she was not the eldest, he might find himself facing the wrong Miss Bennet. He smiled reluctantly. That would confuse matters.

  He rode towards Longbourn, feeling as if he was going to undergo the most painful condemnation and mortification. Although Mr. Leigh rode behind him, he was still utterly alone.

  At Longbourn, he asked for Mr. Bennet and was shown into his library. He refused a seat and stood beside the window, utterly unprepared for what he should say.

  The older man heaved himself to his feet and came to stand beside him. “I think I might know what this matter pertains to, Mr. Darcy.” He sighed. “If it is so, then I believe you are behaving very honourably.”

  Darcy frowned. “I imagined a father might think otherwise.”

  Bennet smiled sadly. “We are all shunned now. It doesn’t take long for the rumours to spread through a small town, Mr. Darcy. But what I have heard from my daughter makes me think that your behaviour was gentlemanly in protecting her from further injury. For that, I am grateful.” He gazed out of the window thoughtfully. “It is a great pity that you were seen together.”

  Darcy sighed. A pity, indeed. But this man would insist upon the marriage. If he had five daughters, he would not wish them all to be tainted.

  He knew his smile was twisted. “Could you inform me of your daughter’s forename? I know very little about her.”

  Bennet turned surprised eyes to him. “Had you not heard that when you heard the story?”

  Darcy shook his head. “No, it was merely a few words over the card table. Nobody else yet knows I was involved.”

  “Well, I had not thought I would ever be in this position, sir. Elizabeth is my favourite, if one is permitted favourites. She is just twenty years old.”

  He turned to the door. “I will send for her.”

  Darcy turned back to the window. He imagined that with her injury, he had a few more moments.

  “Oh, Mr. Bennet! I must meet him! Is he rich?” A grating voice shrieked through the closed door. Darcy closed his eyes. That must be the mother.

  There was a hubbub of voices through the doorway, several younger voices and through it all, Mr. Bennet’s voice cut through it.

  “No, Mrs. Bennet, you will not meet him today. Please go through to the sitting room. Jane, take your mother through. You too, Lydia, Kitty, Mary. I will not have you out here.”

  Darcy was interested to hear that not much notice seemed to be taken of Bennet. He doubted the man was normally as authoritative as this, and thought he must be trying to impress his guest.

  His throat tightened. What manner of family was he tying himself to?

  At last the door opened slowly and he saw Miss Elizabeth Bennet enter hesitantly. She was hobbling, and leaned on the back of each chair as she passed it. But she was walking, at least.

  He didn’t smile, and she didn’t either. She leaned harder on the back of the chair as she curtsied. “Mr. Darcy.”

  He bowed. “Miss Bennet.”

  She moved forward and sat in the chair. “I am sorry you have come here, sir.”

  He was surprised. “I beg your pardon?”

  She shrugged very slightly. “Nobody knew who you were and I have tried not to tell anyone. You could have gone away so no one found out.”

  “I am grateful for that, Miss Bennet. But I understand you and your family are now in an unfortunate position.”

  She looked at him, a challenge in her eyes. “You and I both know that nothing happened. I have nothing to be ashamed of.” She sighed. “I hoped the townspeople would grow tired of it all and things would go back to normal.”

  He sat down opposite her, very conscious that they were alone together. Apart from Georgiana, he had never been alone with an unmarried lady, without even servants present — until the incident in the woods — which had brought him here.

  He had better get it over with. “Miss Bennet, I am sure you know the reason why I am here. Society has decreed that I am obliged to you, and therefore I am here to make you an offer of marriage, to preserve your honour. I am very much aware that you have nothing to be ashamed of. But the local people do not agree. Therefore I am prepared to marry you and make you my wife and the mistress of my estate.”

  He’d certainly never expected any proposal he made to be like this. His heart was heavy as he contemplated the loss of his dreams — making a suitable choice, maybe even finding someone for whom he could feel great affection, someone of whom he felt his mother would have approved.

  But it was not to be. He waited for her agreement. Then he could leave and go back to London. He supposed he needed to organise a special licence, tell Georgiana and Cousin Richard.

  He really wanted to talk to his cousin. But she was speaking. He dragged his mind back.

  “I am very grateful to you for making the offer, Mr. Darcy. But I will not marry you. I do not believe you are obliged to me, and I do not think we would be a good match under these circumstances.”

  She smiled, rather sadly. “I know nothing whatsoever about you, Mr. Darcy, except that today I have discovered your name. But I can see from your looks and your manner that you come from a different place in society than I. You would not wish to marry so far beneath your station, and I would not wish to place you in such an invidious position.”

  He stared at her in consternation. He had never dreamed that any lady would ever refuse an offer, but his heart was racing in hope that this nightmare might be over.

  She was smiling slightly. “It is all right, Mr. Darcy. You have heard me correctly. I respect very much that you have made me an offer, and I thank you for that. But I will not marry you. You are not obliged to me.” She pushed herself, with an effort, to her feet. “I wish you much happiness in the future, Mr. Darcy.” She held out her hand, and he bowed over it, disbelieving.

  “Your opinion does you great credit, Miss Bennet, and I hope very much that your neighbours come round to your views as soon as possible.”

  A slight lift of her eyebrows made him realise that she knew very well what she was giving up, and he struggled to think of some comforting words. But he could not.

  He bowed again. “I will return to London, Miss Bennet. If I am not here, than perhaps your family and friends will understand that you mean what you say. Please accept my best wishes for your health and happiness.”

  He bowed again and turned for the door.

  “No,” she said, and he stopped, his heart sinking again. She had changed her mind.

  She laughed. “Do not look so downhearted, Mr. Darcy. I am merely saying do not go that way. My mother will undoubtedly be there with my sisters, and you will not escape unscathed.” She nodded at the glass doors to the side of the room. “Go out that way, sir, and round to the front of the house. You can be away before they have noticed you have gone.”

  She looked slightly wistful. “Goodbye.”

  He looked once more at her and bowed again. It was not very gentlemanly to do as she suggested, but the relief was so strong in him that he could think of nothing else but to get away.

  Three miles to Netherfield. He could have a quick word with Bingley and be on his way to London within the hour. He was free, and with that relief came tiredness. He could sleep on the coach.

  Chapter 7

  Elizabeth stared up at the woods, wishing with all her heart that her injury had healed. She needed to escape the house, find somewhere quiet to sit and think.

  She’d known, of course, that her re
fusal of Mr. Darcy would bring the ire of her mother down on her head. But she had underestimated the anger of her father and sisters, and the two days since then had brought home to her what she had done.

  She was lonelier in the house than she had ever been out walking.

  “It was extremely selfish of you. Lizzy.” Her father shook his head. “I cannot imagine why you felt you could take upon yourself such a decision — one that affects the whole family.”

  “Very easily, Papa.” Elizabeth was stung to retaliate. “I have done nothing wrong. Nothing! Mr. Darcy is not obliged to me and I can think of no worse basis for a marriage than this.” She looked away from his expression, hating that he was disappointed in her.

  “Yes. Well, you were not at church yesterday morning, of course. I suppose it is fortunate that you are indisposed. But your mother is determined that you marry Mr. Darcy. She was shunned by the townspeople, and so were your sisters.”

  He glowered at her. “How am I supposed to ensure your sisters marry well if they are ruined by association with you?”

  Elizabeth looked down. She was mortified by his disapproval of her. Part of her wanted to hit back, tell him that he could have ensured they had a larger dowry, a better education. But it would do no good. She pressed her lips together and remained silent.

  He sighed. “Each day that goes by gets worse. There is the gathering at Lucas Lodge this week. Your mother had great hopes of one of you capturing the affections of a Mr. Bingley, who has taken Netherfield. Now it cannot happen.”

  Her chin came up. “If Mama had not broadcast the news of my misfortune around the town, I believe it would all be settled before then. Even now, I think that our friends will still talk to us and gradually it will all be forgotten.” She let her defiance show. “I will sit and talk to Charlotte. I am not ashamed.”

  Her father shook his head. “You will not go, Lizzy.”

  She stared at him in astonishment. “But you could allow us to take the coach. Even if I cannot dance, I might sit and talk to our friends. They will see I have nothing to hide!”

  He shook his head, heavily. “I have received a letter from Sir William, Lizzy. You are not welcome there, neither must you continue your friendship with Charlotte.” He met her eyes. “Nobody wants to continue acquaintanceship with you — or us, while you are here.”

  Her heart sank. “But you believe me, Papa?”

  “It doesn’t matter what I believe, Lizzy. Your mother and her sister have spread the news of your ruin far and wide.” He looked out of the window, the rain seemed to match his mood.

  After a moment or two, he looked up. “I am sending you to London. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner have agreed to permit you to stay there for a while, until I can arrange something.”

  “What might you arrange, Papa?” Elizabeth said quietly, her heart sinking.

  “I don’t know.” He shook his head. “We must let things settle here, and I hope they may do, once you are gone.”

  She took in the enormity of what happened, wondering if her aunt would take her side. “Will I ever be able to return home, Papa?”

  He didn’t meet her eyes. “I don’t know, Lizzy.” He stood up and went to the door. He looked back at her. “The coach will take you in one hour. Your mother has had your things packed and the maid will return with the coach once you are at Gracechurch Street.”

  One hour! Elizabeth could hardly believe her ears. She drew a steadying breath. “Am I even permitted to say goodbye to Jane?”

  He looked sad. “She is the only one who wishes to bid you farewell, Lizzy. She and I will be there when you go.”

  It was difficult getting in the coach with her injured foot. Only Jane was there to assist her, and neither could hold back their tears.

  “Will you write to me, Jane?” Elizabeth wiped her eyes. “Or do you think Mama will forbid it?”

  Jane looked away. “I will try, Lizzy. But I may have to give the letter to someone else to post for me so Mama doesn’t know.”

  “It is better, sometimes, to make a clean break if it has to be done.” Her father was there now and Elizabeth knew he would not encourage Jane to remain in contact with her.

  He watched sombrely as Jane gave Elizabeth a final embrace and climbed back out of the coach.

  Elizabeth watched her sister as, hand over her mouth, she hurried away into the house. Her heart was like stone. Would she ever see her beloved Jane again, hear news of her happy marriage?

  She turned her gaze to her father. He moved up to the doorway of the coach.

  “I will come to London in a few days, Lizzy. I will need to consider things and then go and see Mr. Darcy. You told me he would go to London. I must talk to him again.”

  She gasped. “Please do not go, Papa. I think he was truly gentlemanly. He would not let me stay in the woods all night where anything might have happened to me.” She looked at him desperately.

  “He’s a true gentleman. Mama doesn’t care that I could have been crippled if I had damaged my foot more, or even become sick and died.” She bit her lip. His expression hadn’t changed.

  “Lizzy, there is more than your own happiness and future at stake here. You must consider your family and their lives here.”

  “More than the future of the man you would have me marry?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “You are concerned for him? Perhaps you have feelings for him.”

  “No, of course I don’t!” Elizabeth felt vexed with her father. “I don’t know him. But …” She looked down. “When you said something might be arranged, I thought you meant I could find a position as a companion or a governess.”

  He stared at her. “Don’t be silly, Lizzy. How would that help your sisters not be ruined?”

  “You could dissociate yourself from me, build the trust of the community again.” Elizabeth tried to think of another way to persuade him, but he looked implacable. “Please, Papa. I know you only want peace and quiet, but you could help them do this.”

  “You presume too much, Lizzy! Your attitude is not ladylike. Who would employ a ruined woman?” His anger washed over her as he stepped back and the maid got in with her. The coachman lifted the step and closed the door.

  She felt the coach tip as the servant climbed up beside the driver and she turned her face away from her father as he stood in silence, watching the coach jerk into movement. Her life here was over. She knew that now.

  Chapter 8

  Darcy sat back in his comfortable armchair. His library at Darcy House was one of the most reassuring and relaxing places he knew.

  He was only happier at Pemberley. Perhaps he would go there soon.

  It was more than two weeks now since he had first seen Miss Elizabeth Bennet in the woods above Meryton, and not quite that since she had refused his offer and released him from the nightmare of obligation.

  He found himself feeling quite kindly towards her. But he was also concerned. That Bingley’s sisters had heard it from an unrelated source seemed to imply that Miss Bennet was not going to find life very easy. He wondered grimly how her father had reacted to her refusal to marry and his own hasty retreat.

  He was rather embarrassed thinking about it, and wished he’d faced up to her father, gone out through the hall, and past the family. But it was too late now. At that moment he’d wanted nothing more than to escape from the situation.

  But he could not put the situation from his mind, not be sure he was free.

  Georgiana had sensed he was troubled and she was quiet and anxious. He was unable to lift his spirits to help her and had summoned their cousin to dine with them most evenings.

  But he couldn’t yet explain what had happened. “I have something on my mind, Richard. I cannot tell you what it is, but Georgiana needs pleasant company and I cannot be that company at present.”

  Richard was a good friend and exerted himself to entertain Georgiana and he was an undemanding companion over the port after dinner.

  Darcy was exceedingly grateful to him.
And this morning, Richard had escorted Georgiana to Matlock House. They were going out with his mother, the Countess Matlock, and her children. They would take a picnic to the Botanic Gardens at Kew Palace. Georgiana had been delighted, and Darcy was pleased for her.

  But the empty house oppressed him. He couldn’t shake off the fact that something would yet drag him back into the nightmare, force his hand. He sat with his head in his hands for a long time.

  This would not do! He jumped to his feet and rang the bell. Instructing the footman to order a horse for him, he strode out to the hall. He needed a long ride out. He knew he’d left it too late in the morning to be able to gallop in Hyde Park — Rotten Row would be crowded. But he could ride out to Hampstead Heath. There was enough space there to help him feel free. Having to concentrate for several hours would do him good.

  His horse was fresh and he had to trot several miles before it settled and he could begin to relax and watch the people going about their business.

  He saw several young ladies walking in a park and found himself wondering if Miss Bennet was able to walk without too much pain yet.

  He pulled his mind away from her with an effort. He should go to Pemberley with Georgiana. Perhaps Richard would join them and they might spend the winter up there.

  He scowled. If the winter was bad, he would feel even more trapped up there, where heavy snowfall was more likely.

  No, he must pour all his energies into his business affairs. That would take all his concentration and this terrible time would surely fade.

  He chuckled mirthlessly. It was only yesterday he’d had a letter from Bingley. Slapdash and careless, his handwriting had taken some time to decipher.

  It appeared he had attended the gathering at Lucas Lodge and fallen for the charms of the eldest Miss Lucas. He would call on her again. The family of the ruined girl had not attended, but there was much scandalised whispering that the girl had been sent away. Bingley thought Miss Lucas was sad about it.