He shrugged. “How would you know?”
“Why’d you retire?”
“I served two tours. It was enough. I’m worn out. It’s strenuous work. I’m ready to find a nice boring civilian job.” He reached for the corner of the towel next to his hip.
If he drops the towel…
Yep. He fucking dropped the towel. Damn him. He was not playing fair. He was also speaking, but she only caught something about having served two tours and being tired.
His cock was semi-hard and magnificent. Significantly larger than she remembered. He was totally playing her, ignoring the fact that she was licking her lips, her gaze locked on his package as he stepped into the briefs and then tugged them over his hips. “Ellie?”
She jerked her gaze up to his.
He was smirking. “I just asked you if you wanted to come with me.”
She narrowed her gaze. “I think we need to establish a few boundaries.”
He tipped his head to one side. “I thought we agreed to disagree about the past and have an enjoyable vacation.”
“We did. But that isn’t going to include sex. If that’s a deal breaker, you need to reevaluate.” Perhaps she should have made herself clearer last night.
He climbed onto the bed, one knee at a time and crawled toward her like a tiger. When he reached her side, hovering over her, she dropped onto her back to put more space between them.
He ignored her efforts, closed the distance, and kissed her lips. Not gently. Not briefly. A full-fledged kiss that made her nipples stiffen and her panties wet. She flattened her hands on his chest as soon as she could get them to obey commands and gave him a shove.
Noah was manipulating her. And she knew he could do it if she let him. She had always been a sucker for his touch.
When he finally released her lips, not in any way affected by her weak push, he smiled down at her. “Who said anything about sex?”
She rolled her eyes.
He climbed back off the bed, leaving her panting, and reached for a pair of khaki shorts. As he stepped into those, he spoke again. “This room is small. The bathroom is smaller. It’s also really hot in there after you shower. No way am I going to stand in that crowded space and try to get dressed.”
Her attention was riveted to his abs now.
“You’ve seen me naked lots of times, Ellie. I’m still the same man. Surely you can handle a little nudity. Or did you become a prude since high school?” He met her gaze.
She had, actually. His words hit closer to home than he knew. The last thing she wanted to do was admit how nonexistent her love life was. Ever. She would take that secret to the grave with the rest of her growing pile. Pride.
“No, I didn’t become a prude. Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just saying we’re not going to sleep together, so I would appreciate it if you keep your private parts in your pants.”
He chuckled as he tugged a white T-shirt over his head. “If you don’t want to have sex, I can respect that. I’d certainly never pressure a woman to fuck me, even if she already had numerous times in the past. I’m a gentleman. But don’t try to make that my problem, Ellie.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked as she pushed to sitting again and climbed off the opposite side of the bed.
“It means you’re a big girl. Seeing a naked man surely doesn’t cause you to change your convictions. If you can’t keep your panties on simply because I’m getting dressed, then I’d say you’re the one with a problem. Not me.” He punctuated that last sentence by smoothing down his shirt and then lifting his eyebrows.
She groaned, stomped around the bed, and shoved past him. She needed to pee. She needed a cold shower. She needed a head examination.
“You want me to wait for you?” he shouted through the door.
“No.” One word. Succinct. It would be better if he left the room so she could shower and get dressed in peace.
“Okay. I’ll be on the lido deck eating breakfast, then. I’ll try to get a table near where we were last night. If you want to join me. No pressure. I’ll take a book.”
She grabbed her toothbrush, not releasing a breath until she heard the door snick shut. Alone. Finally. The oxygen in the room was going to be very depleted every time they were both in the cramped space.
She should have told Karla to book them a suite. Of course, knowing now what she hadn’t known at the time, Karla probably would have ignored her request in order to force Noah and Ellie into a tight space.
Karla had a big heart and she meant well. Ellie loved her. But right now, she wanted to wring her neck for interfering like this. Karla didn’t know all the facts. This relationship wasn’t repairable. It never would be.
As soon as Ellie stepped under the hot water, she realized she had a new problem. She was going to spend the entire week aroused with almost no opportunity to do anything about it. This was her moment. She was going to have to learn to masturbate in a hurry in the shower.
Masturbating to thoughts of Noah in the shower wasn’t a new concept. She was incredibly familiar with her hand between her legs. She should also be able to accomplish her goal quite fast since she now had the added benefit of seeing him in the flesh for the last twenty-four hours. His body that had done nothing but improve with age. His muscles that had grown ridiculously larger. His cock… Dammit.
She closed her eyes as she slid her fingers down to toy with her clit. Her mouth fell open, and her head tipped back. The shower was small, so the spray of water was impossible to avoid. Weak legs threatened not to support her, so she planted one hand on the wall.
Yeah, it didn’t take long. She could still feel his thumb grazing the underside of her breast last night. In fact, she flattened her chest to the wall, needing the pressure against her nipples.
Gasping, she thrust two fingers into her pussy and then dragged them back out to flick over her clit again. She hadn’t brought a vibrator on a vacation with Karla, but it didn’t seem she would need one anyway. She had new material to work with in her head. And that material would increase by the hour.
Picturing him standing naked in their cabin just a few minutes ago was all she needed to tip over the edge. A brief scream escaped her lips before she realized what she’d done.
Panting, she eased the pressure of her fingers while she rode out the orgasm. Two realizations came to mind. There was no way she could masturbate when he was in the room because she couldn’t stop herself from crying out when she came. And, sadly, there was also no way she could guarantee he wouldn’t walk into the cabin at any given moment.
Which meant, unfortunately, she couldn’t do this every day.
She grabbed the shampoo with shaky fingers, squeezed some into her hand, and then lifted her arms to massage her scalp.
Emotion welled up inside her, uninvited. Probably do to the raw state of her nerves after that intense orgasm and the fact that she was so totally screwed.
Chapter 5
Noah vowed to leave Ellie alone for the morning. He knew he was toying with her emotions. He also knew he could push her too far. He’d done a number on her that morning. It was time to retreat a while and make her wonder where he was.
Not that he’d hidden. He claimed a lounge chair by the pool, took off his T-shirt, and leaned back to soak in the sun. It was impossible to force his body to relax. Or his mind. Both were on edge.
Ellington Gorman had slept in his arms. He’d never had her for an entire night like that. They’d been boyfriend and girlfriend for almost three years in high school. They were each other’s firsts in many things. Even kissing.
The entire school had labeled them the couple most likely to marry and never divorce. People teased at graduation that they’d see them in ten years at the reunion. There had been bets placed on how many kids they would have and even what they might name them.
The teasing had never bothered Noah. It hadn’t bothered Ellie either. They agreed. He’d loved her fiercely. To hell with the naysayers who said young lov
e couldn’t survive the test of time. Theirs could. He’d never doubted it for a moment.
And then she had shocked him.
He replayed every second of that day and later that night. He’d done this a thousand times until he’d forced himself to stop the nonsense years ago. Now it was all coming back, and he started it again.
She’d been distant the morning of their graduation. Off. He hadn’t been able to put his finger on it. She’d gone through the motions, smiled for the cameras, tossed her cap in the air alongside him. But he’d known she had something on her mind.
When he questioned her, she blew him off. The stadium had been crowded. Normally, he wouldn’t have let her get away with keeping something like that to herself, but too many demands were placed on them from the school, their parents, and their friends.
So, he’d given her space, hoping she would eventually snap out of the melancholy. She had not.
Later that night, they’d gone to a party at Layton’s house. Dozens of kids had been at that party. Ellie had arrived separate, claiming she needed to spend some time with her parents.
When she arrived, he’d known something was very, very wrong. Instead of showing up in full makeup and one of her cute dresses, she’d been wearing jeans. He was sure she’d been crying. Her face was flushed. Her makeup had rubbed off as if she’d splashed water on her cheeks moments before. She was wringing her hands.
He’d rushed toward her, his excitement and smile fading. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
When she nodded over her shoulder, he followed her outside. She led him to her car and leaned against the side, not meeting his gaze. Without pretense, she jumped right in. “I think we should break up.”
Stunned, he’d staggered backward. “What? Ellie, what are you talking about?” His heart had raced as he forced himself back into her space and cupped her shoulders.
She wouldn’t lift her gaze. Instead, she sobbed. “I can’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“Stay with you. It’ll be too hard. You’re going into the navy. You need to focus on that. I’ll just be the girlfriend at home. Your new friends will harass you about having a steady girlfriend.”
“That’s crazy, Ellie.” He’d tried to lift her chin, but she’d resisted.
Shaking her head, she’d continued. “No. It’s not. It’s reality. We’re kidding ourselves. No one can survive this kind of separation. We’re eighteen. I can’t expect you to go to boot camp and stay faithful to me.”
That last part had stung the most. He’d never cheated on her. Never. He’d never even thought about it. Not once. And he’d known he never would. The idea that she would even suggest such a thing hurt. “Ellie…”
She’d lifted her gaze finally. “I’m breaking up with you, Noah.”
He’d shaken his head. “No. I won’t let you.”
“You don’t have a choice. Go. Follow your dream. Fight for our country. I know you’ll be the best damn SEAL who ever lived.” She’d reached back and opened her car door.
He hadn’t been able to process everything quick enough. In seconds, she’d slipped out of his hands and into her car. Moments later, she’d been gone from him forever.
Noah hadn’t gone back into the party. Instead, he’d staggered to his own car and sat in the front seat for a long time. Eventually, he’d driven to an empty parking lot and continued to sit. Alone. Staring into space. Seeing nothing. Feeling everything.
When the sun came up, he’d driven to her parents’ home. But she was not there. They were also frantically trying to locate her. She had wiped out her bank account, taken her clothes, and disappeared. According to Layton, she’d been gone for weeks before returning home a shell of the person she’d been before. She’d started college that fall, kept in touch with Karla, but she hadn’t spoken of their breakup.
The devastation had been real, and it marred every moment of Noah’s enlistment. It took months, years really, for him to recover. He faked it as best he could, making friends and spending leave with his buddies. But he’d never gotten over Ellie. He’d known in his heart he never would.
And now she was here. On this ship. In his cabin.
At least her body was. Her stubborn self was keeping a distance between them that made it seem like she was miles away when she was just feet away from him or right in his arms.
There was a wall around her. It had cracks, but it was thick. He wasn’t sure he could climb over it. He doubted he could break it even if he had a grenade.
His heart was likely to get broken all over again this week. But he had to try. He would try his best. There were no other options, he reminded himself.
It was do or die. If he’d learned one thing in the last twenty-four hours, it was that he had nothing to lose. Seeing her. Touching her. Holding her. Everything about her reinforced his knowledge that she was it for him.
She had the power to destroy him. But she also held the only key to his future. He wouldn’t have another woman. Ellie or no one. So, he would give this everything he had in him.
If he lost her for good, it wouldn’t be for lack of trying. He would never look back and wonder what if…
He took a deep breath and blew it out, trying to relax. Nothing worked. His mind never stopped plotting.
A shadow came over him, and he opened his eyes to find Ellie standing next to his chair. She was wearing a skimpy white bikini, a sheer white cover-up—that covered up nothing—and white flip-flops.
Her hair was up in a messy bun, and sunglasses blocked his view of her green eyes. She smiled down at him. “You were hard to find.”
She was looking…
He pushed to a sitting position and lifted the back of the lounge chair so he could lean back. “Sorry. I dozed off. Did you have breakfast?”
“Yes.” She glanced around, chewing on her bottom lip.
He set his feet down on either side of the lounge chair and patted the space between his legs. “Sit. I’m sure it will be impossible to find another chair right now.”
She lowered to the far end of the seat and set her bag down between them.
He leaned over it, peering down. “What all do you have in there? It looks heavy.”
“Not really. Sunscreen. A few books. My phone. A hat. Normal stuff.”
“A few books? How many can you read at once?”
“Never know which one I might be in the mood for.” She reached inside and pulled out the sunscreen. “Did you put any on? You’re gonna burn in this sun.”
“Baby, I’ve seen sun in the last ten years that puts the Gulf of Mexico to shame. I think I’ll live.”
“Fine. But don’t call me when your face is all cut up with a dozen scars from having patches of cancer removed.”
He leaned back. “Are you saying you’d judge me by my looks?” It was too easy to tease her.
“Never. Don’t twist my words.”
He reached out, grabbed her wrist, and wrenched the sunscreen from her hand. “Turn around.”
She hesitated, and then undoubtedly decided she had no other options.
Score.
As soon as she turned to face away from him, he grabbed her hips and drew her backward closer to him.
She squeaked. “Noah. Jeez.”
“You planning to wear this flimsy wrap, or you want me to put protection on your back?”
She shot him a look over her shoulder, but she tugged the translucent cover-up over her head.
For a second, he simply stared. The only thing on her back was the thin tie holding her breasts in place. And from what he’d seen of the front of her, the two triangles covered hardly more than her nipples. She was going to be difficult to ignore. Not just for him but any other man who walked by.
Finally, he popped the top of the tube, squirted a generous portion of lotion on his palm, and rubbed his hands together. He tucked both lips between his teeth before he set his palms on her shoulders to keep from making a sound.
Heaven.
Her
smooth skin hadn’t seen sunlight in a long time. He knew from past experience she would be a lovely shade of bronze by the end of the week, but not today. Right now her skin was pale, several shades lighter than his.
He spread the sunscreen down her shoulder blades, making sure he pushed the thin string out of the way as he went so that she didn’t get a burn line across her back when it shifted. When he got to the tiny bikini bottom that barely covered her butt, he had to stifle a moan. He’d give anything to slide his hands lower, into her suit, and cup her ass.
She was living dangerously with matching strings holding her bikini bottom together on both sides. One tug of the little ties and she’d be naked.
He worked his hands back up her body, making sure no white smudges of lotion were noticeable, and then he slid his fingers over her shoulders to reach her chest.
She batted his hands away. “I think I can reach the front.”
He leaned closer so his lips were inches from her ear. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”
She twisted around, face red. “Did you miss the part where I said we’re not having sex?”
He furrowed his brow as if he were offended. “Who said anything about sex?” he repeated for the second time that day. “You’re the one who keeps bringing it up. It must be on your mind. I don’t think rubbing lotion into your skin counts as sex.”
She yanked the sunscreen from the bench beside them, ignoring his comment, and proceeded to rub it into the rest of her body.
He watched. He’d watch this show any day. It wasn’t quite as good as doing it himself, but almost.
“Have you been in the pool?” she asked. “Is the water cold?”
He shook his head. “Not yet. I was thinking we could head toward the hot tubs in the adult-only section at the front when you got here. Might be less crowded.”
She nodded. “I’d like to lie in the sun for a while first. I feel like I already need a nap, even though all I’ve done is shower and eat breakfast.”
“It’s vacation. You can nap if you want. How about if I get up so you can relax on this chair? They’re at a premium. You can’t move or you’ll lose it. I’ll go find out what kind of excursions they’re offering at the first port.” He swung one leg over the chair and stood before leaning the back down flat for her again.
Hot SEAL, Red Wine (SEALs in Paradise) Page 5
