He kissed her gently, melting another piece of her heart. He was slowly chipping away at her resolve not to let herself fall so hard for him that she lost a piece of herself. Her recovery from this vacation was already going to take months. Possibly years.
She was also fully aware she was kidding herself. He’d owned her heart for most of her life. She couldn’t give him something he already held in his palm. But the pain of all these memories was going to cut into her like a sharp knife later.
By the time she got to the fourth line, she had to admit she was having fun. She didn’t even scream as she stepped off the platform.
Noah was beaming from ear to ear when they were finished. She was confident his excitement had little to do with how much fun he’d had personally and far more to do with successfully luring her to not only face her fear but conquer it.
He took her hand and threaded their fingers together as they ambled slowly back to the bus, and he didn’t release her during the ride or on the walk to the ship either.
A sense of contentment settled over her like the sort someone would feel when their life was tidy and perfect. If she ignored the universe and focused on nothing but this blip in the middle of her stupid existence, she could even agree.
This was paradise. Gorgeous weather. Luxurious vacation. The man of her dreams in her bed. The only thing that would make it even more perfect would be if she could somehow erase history and keep Noah Seager for the rest of her life.
They stopped at the bar next to the pool when they got back on the ship for a drink. Noah ordered for them—his standard red wine, her standard gin and tonic. As he handed her the cold glass, he lifted his in a toast. “To new experiences.”
She touched his glass with hers. “To not falling to our deaths.”
He chuckled. “I’m far more concerned with getting stung by a jellyfish tomorrow than a fall from the zip line.”
He had a point. “Did you have to bring up jellyfish?” she teased. “Great. Now I’m going to lie awake worrying about tentacles.”
“Mmm.” He took a sip of his wine, a dangerous twinkle in his eye. “I’ll do my best to wear you out until you’re so exhausted you can’t help but sleep.”
She shivered and looked away. The promise in his words jerked her pussy to life and made her clench her thighs together.
For the millionth time, she worried he had a singular goal of getting between her legs. He didn’t understand that it wasn’t that simple. Not for her. Even if she were drunk and totally high on arousal, she would never be able to let her guard down on that issue. Wasn’t going to happen.
“Hey.” He’d leaned closer to her. “Let’s change into our suits and go sit in the hot tub in the adult section. The hot water will soothe your muscles. You’re going to be sore tomorrow from the tension.”
He was right. Why was he always right? “Good idea.” And why didn’t I bring any one-piece suits with me?
Still sipping their drinks, they returned to their cabin. She changed in the bathroom and found him in swim trunks when she reemerged.
His gaze was on her again. Heated. Intense. “You were the cutest girl in school, but Ellie, you are so much more beautiful now.”
“Thank you,” she managed to murmur as her face heated. She looked away to slide her feet into her flip-flops, partially to avoid his gaze and partially to keep from staring at his damn chest. Every time he was shirtless, she had the urge to flatten her palms on him and taste every inch of his bronzed skin.
He didn’t say anything else, but he held her hand again as they walked to the front of the ship and made their way to the hot tubs. Luckily not everyone had re-boarded yet, so it wasn’t too crowded.
She sighed as she slipped into the water. He was right. Her muscles were tight from the anxiety of the zip line.
He sat on the bench and pulled her between his legs. Moments later, his hands were on her shoulders, massaging the tension.
No one else was in this particular hot tub at the moment, so she let herself relax, closed her eyes, and tried not to moan every time he hit a particularly tight muscle.
His hands were efficient and everywhere. He worked up and down her back until she was putty and feared she might slide under the water and drown.
As if he could read every nuance of her, he eased her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her under her breasts, holding her like a lover would on their honeymoon.
She leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed for probably the tenth time. “You spoil me.”
He kissed the sensitive spot behind her ear, but said nothing.
She let herself enjoy this perfect moment for a long time. Her mind once again straying to the what ifs. What if they had spent the last fourteen years together? What if they could stay together now for the rest of their lives?
“Hey…” he whispered. “What’s this about?”
She hadn’t realized she’d been silently crying until he wiped a tear from her cheek. How he’d noticed in the steamy water was a mystery.
She swallowed her emotion. “It’s nothing. I’m just happy.” She forced a smile and met his gaze. Damn, he was handsome. His brow was furrowed in concern, but his strong features and jawline made her reach up to stroke a finger along his lips and then his brow. She wanted to wipe away his concern.
He let his expression relax slightly, holding her gaze for a long time. Finally, someone else slid into the hot tub and broke their cocoon. “We should head back to the room. It’s formal night.”
“Oh, that’s right.” She bit her lip, remembering what she’d brought for the occasion. Her belly fluttered with a mix of excitement and concern for how he would react to her dress. She loved the way he so outwardly worshiped her with his gaze, but she also was aware of the fact that she was walking a fine line teasing him. Tempting him with something he could not have.
Noah climbed out first and then reached for her hand to help her. Such a gentleman. Thoughtful. Kind. Considerate. Loving. The perfect match for her.
She shook those thoughts from her mind as he slid her flimsy cover-up over her and tugged it into place. “You do realize these things are the most useless items in your wardrobe, right?”
She grinned. “They add to the mystery.”
“That’s for sure.” He shot her a heated look and then took her hand again to lead her back to their cabin.
Chapter 10
Noah hadn’t taken his gaze off Ellie for over an hour. He wasn’t sure he’d blinked from the moment she put the silver dress on and let him turn around. She had never looked sexier. Not even in any of her plethora of bikinis.
The material was soft and silky. He had no idea what it was, but it clung to her in all the right places, accentuating her breasts, which were encased in a strapless bra tonight. Her cleavage made him drool. The thin straps that held the dress up didn’t look sturdy enough to do the job but had somehow managed to keep her from flashing anyone in the dining room so far.
The silver material shined and glistened in the light, sparkling in different places with every move. It reached her ankles, but had a slit up the side that gave everyone a glimpse of her thigh with every step. His hand had itched to run up the slit and between her legs for every one of the sixty minutes since he’d first seen it.
The strappy silver heels she wore pulled it all together. He wasn’t ordinarily the sort of man who would notice so many aspects of a woman’s clothing, but this was Ellie. He’d always noticed everything about her.
He suspected she wasn’t wearing panties again since he saw no discernable evidence, which did nothing to keep his cock from remaining stiff under the table.
She had a twinkle in her eye when she tipped her head to one side and parted her lips. “Tell me we’re really going snorkeling tomorrow, and you don’t intend to blindside me with some death-defying craziness again.”
“We are,” he assured her, reaching across to take her hand. He couldn’t keep from touching her. Anywhere. All the
time.
And she let him, which made his heart race every time also. She had even stopped flinching when he encircled her in his embrace. Progress.
He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb, saying nothing, enjoying the way her face was calmer tonight. The worry she’d carried between her brows for the first few days was lessening. She was starting to trust him, if that made any sense. She had no reason not to trust him. Perhaps she was just getting comfortable in his presence.
Her hair was swept up in the front, a silver clip holding her curls away from her face. She had pointed a finger at him when she stepped out of the bathroom and narrowed her gaze in warning, saying, “Leave the clip alone. It goes with the dress. I left plenty of my hair down in back.”
He’d nodded, his tongue caught, unable to speak as she admonished him in a way he wished she would do every night for the rest of their lives. He’d give anything to have that silly conversation every day with her. Him pulling her hair out of the confines of rubber bands and clips. Her swatting at him and complaining about how long it took her to get it just right.
Those were the precious moments he lived for.
Their main course arrived, and he had to release her hand. Renaldo winked at him after he set their plates down as if he knew how deep Noah had fallen for her and suspected his road to heaven was an uphill battle. A wink of encouragement. Renaldo was in tune with all kinds of nuances from his guests.
Their steaks were delicious, and they both intermittently moaned around bites. By the time their desserts were in front of them, Noah was so stuffed, he didn’t think he could swallow another bite. He leaned back and watched as Ellie enjoyed her chocolate soufflé, the way she savored every morsel, the flick of her tongue when she reached out to catch a drop on her spoon, her full pink lips now devoid of gloss.
She was gorgeous.
He swallowed over a lump in his throat. She was his. He wouldn’t be able to let her go. Not after this vacation. Not ever. Not even for a single day.
There was no way they could part ways when they got off the ship. He fisted his palms in his lap, hoping she wouldn’t notice his anxiety.
She wasn’t going to walk away from him. He wouldn’t let her. She could fight and claw and scream and yell and stomp her feet all she wanted, but he intended to convince her she was his.
To hell with her fucking secret. She could keep it for all he cared. It would be worth the trade-off. There were no other options.
He pictured them grabbing an Uber together, heading for his parents’ house and then hers. Or vice versa. Spending some time with their families. Maybe a few days at each house.
People would be shocked. Too bad. They would get over it.
Karla and Layton would be giddy. That part almost made him cringe. He wasn’t looking forward to the satisfaction on their smug faces when they found out they’d gotten what they intended to accomplish.
But first he had to convince the woman across from him.
He also had to prove he could let the past go and never bring it up. It seemed imperative. A fragile agreement. Somehow he knew if he made that promise, he could never break it. He couldn’t come to her every few months nagging her to reveal her secret. He would have to swallow it, bury it, and let it go.
It was a huge commitment. To himself. As well as her. And he was ready to make it.
As Ellie set her fork down and leaned back in her chair, she smiled. “It’s weird to think of all the experiences you must have had with the navy and then with the SEALs. Like a giant chunk of your life I know nothing about.”
A giant chunk she would have known about if she hadn’t left me. He cleared his throat. “I was thinking the same thing about you working on Wall Street. I can’t picture you rushing around in that environment. How the hell did you end up in that line of work? All you ever wanted to do was teach.”
She glanced away and then sighed. When she looked back, her eyes were sad, but she gave him a tiny piece of her. “After we broke up, I needed to reinvent myself, I guess. I wanted to do something totally different. Over the years it turned out I was good at it, and I found myself in New York City. Maybe I needed to prove I could do it. Do anything.”
“I can understand that. I’m not surprised either. You can do anything. I’ve always known that about you.”
She looked down at her glass, playing with the condensation on the side, fidgeting, avoiding his gaze. She hadn’t been entirely honest. There was more to that story, but he wouldn’t pressure her.
He would give anything to climb inside her mind and peek around. He also hated that she looked so forlorn now. That hadn’t been his intent. He needed to steer this conversation back to something happier. “What’s it like standing in that throng of people rushing around the floor of the stock exchange?”
She lifted her gaze, shaking off the melancholy. “It’s exhilarating and intense. Makes your heart race. What’s it like jumping out of the side of a helicopter into cold water? I assume you’ve done something like that.”
He chuckled. “I have. It’s exhilarating and intense. Makes your heart race.” Yeah, now they were back on track. He continued, “Most of the guys on my team are also in the process of retiring or getting out. We’re all very close. Been through a lot together. I hope we stay in contact as civilians.”
“I’m sure you will.” Her smile was genuine, and she leaned forward, set her elbow on the table, and put her chin on her palm. “I know you will.”
After dinner, he led her to the ship’s dance club on the upper deck. He needed to feel the sway of her in his arms and get her soft for him before he told her his plan.
The bar was crowded and noisy. It took a few minutes to secure drinks, and then he led her to a booth along the back wall. He didn’t let her sit, however. Instead, he took her drink, set it on the table, and tugged her toward the dance floor.
She giggled as he dramatically swept her into his embrace and started swaying to the slow song. Her face lit up. She was happy. In his arms. He made her happy.
He smoothed one palm over her lower back and held her hand between their chests as he looked into her eyes. He wanted to tell her how he felt so badly it hurt, but he held back the words and hoped he conveyed the meaning with his eyes.
He wouldn’t risk freaking her out with words of love. The night was too perfect for that. In fact, he vowed to do his best to finish off the evening with her relaxed and content in his arms. His thoughts of the future could wait. The week was only half over. He had three and a half more days to convince her she was his for a lifetime.
When he spotted a man selling roses in the hallway, he excused himself for a moment, left her sipping her drink, and returned with the single white rose.
She looked like she might cry as she took it from him. “You’re spoiling me.”
“That’s the idea.”
Ellie was admittedly confused as they stepped off the ship the next morning to head for their snorkeling excursion. Yesterday had been prefect. She couldn’t imagine anything that could have improved it.
Their evening had been out of a fairy tale, complete with delicious food, dancing, and then standing on their balcony staring at the stars.
Noah had touched her constantly, but he’d never pushed her for anything more. He held her hand or palmed the small of her back. He kissed her neck and stroked the sensitive skin of her shoulders.
When they got back to the room, she’d taken off her heels and joined him on the balcony where he’d pinned her to the railing with his arms and just breathed next to her cheek.
He never said a word about sex or made a move to lure her into anything that would make her uncomfortable. When she went into the bathroom to change into a tank top and shorts, she returned to find him sitting in bed, chest bare, iPad in his hand.
He’d pulled the covers back to let her in, but then set one of his large hands on her thigh and continued to read from his device.
Her body had been heated and tight to the
point of explosion, needing more from him and knowing she couldn’t ask for it without sounding capricious. So, she’d taken what he offered, curled onto her side against him, set her face on his lap under his iPad, and fallen asleep to the feel of his pulse against her cheek.
Now, they were once again headed to shore for the day.
Noah pointed out a man holding a sign for their tour, and she exhaled in relief to find he hadn’t tricked her into something more daring than snorkeling.
As they waited for the rest of the group to arrive, he leaned against the railing on the dock and pulled her between his legs. She leaned back against him and enjoyed the way he smoothed his hands up and down her arms.
Chills covered her skin.
“You cold, baby?” he asked.
“Nope.” There weren’t words to describe why she had goose bumps. Her mind was still mulling over their odd exchange in the room fifteen minutes ago when she’d declared she was ready to go and reached for the handle on the cabin door to step into the hall.
Noah had grabbed her wrist, hauled her backward, and plucked a pair of white shorts from her drawer. “Woman, I swear to God, you’re not wandering around all day in nothing but a bikini and that excuse for a cover-up.”
“We’re going to the beach and then snorkeling,” she informed him, biting the inside of her cheek.
“And between here and there, I’ll be batting men off you. Do this for me.” He shook the shorts out in front of her. “You can take them off when we get in the water.”
She fought the giggle that wanted to erupt out of her throat and instead gave him a fake eye roll, a cocked hip, and pursed lips. She jerked the shorts out of his hand, shrugged them up her legs and hips, buttoned them over her yellow bikini bottoms, and then put her hands on her hips. “Happy?”
Glancing down, she realized she looked far more ridiculous than before, so she pulled the matching yellow cover-up over her head and stuffed it in her bag. “Now can we go?” She knew she was playing with fire. Why on earth she chose to goad him like that was beyond her, but she couldn’t help herself.
Hot SEAL, Red Wine (SEALs in Paradise) Page 9
