Noah groaned as predicted, reached back into her drawer, and tugged out a pale green tank top. “Jesus, Ellie. You’re killing me.”
She smiled, her entire body warming as she pulled the shirt over her head. “Now are you happy?” she whined, though she doubted he bought her fake tone.
He smirked, hauled her into his arms, and kissed her lips. “Not really. But it’ll do.”
“Since when are you so possessive?” she asked as they left the room, him carrying her bag stuffed with everything they might need during the day.
“Since we met sophomore year of high school. Have you forgotten?”
She had not. Not for a minute. His jealousy had been one of the cutest things about him. He never had wanted to share her skin with other guys. Not then and apparently still not today. He never went overboard. Never crossed the line ordering her around about her clothes.
She’d seen him glancing around at others on the lido deck while she sunbathed. She’d also seen him smile when he caught men giving her a double take at dinner and out at night. He was a combination of proud to be seen with her while just possessive enough of her to give a warning glare to anyone who looked too long or stepped too close.
The dynamic between them had always included this low-level subtle dominance from him. Nothing had changed in that area. And it just felt good when he got all macho protective of her. As if she belonged to him.
She did. In theory. She would never belong to another man, that was for sure. But she also wasn’t his. Not for the long haul. Just for three more short days.
A van pulled up while she was still enjoying his hands as they smoothed up and down her bare arms. She hated breaking their connection to climb inside.
Twenty minutes later they were on a private beach with an open bar and all the snorkeling gear they desired.
As soon as the mad rush of people claimed their gear and hurried toward the water’s edge, she and Noah stepped up. By silent mutual agreement, they’d hung back, letting others go first. She loved that about him, the fact that they were on the same page without words.
By the time they stepped into the warm sand and claimed a pair of lounge chairs, nearly everyone in their group was already swimming out to find the perfect fish.
Ellie tugged off her shirt and shrugged out of her shorts, feeling the heat of Noah’s gaze on her skin. She couldn’t form words as he opened the sunscreen and began to rub it into her back while she gathered her hair into a messy bun.
His hands moved reverently over her skin. Something in him had changed gradually over the last twenty-four hours. Resigned? Or did he think he’d won some battle? That last thought scared her.
When his hands ran over her shoulders and smoothed the lotion into her chest and even under the edge of the cups of her bikini, she didn’t stop him. She watched as her nipples pebbled. There would be no hiding her reaction. However, no one would be able to see what was happening between her legs.
He handed her the lotion next and turned around. She took her time working it into his skin. He’d gotten darker in the last three days. She paid close attention to his trident tattoo and then glanced down at the one peeking out of the top of his swim trunks. She had yet to see that one.
As she worked her way down his back, she took a chance and let the tips of her fingers dip into the waistband of his shorts, nudging them subtly downward, hoping to catch a better look at that nearly hidden tattoo.
Suddenly, his hand reached around and flattened on hers, stopping her before she’d seen the object of her intent. He pressed her palm into his hip and turned around. His gaze was intent, and he gave his head a quick shake. “Don’t.”
She swallowed her surprised. “Don’t what?”
He ignored her, put the lotion away, and grabbed their snorkeling gear. When he finally looked at her again, he was wearing a forced smile. “Ready?” He grabbed her hand with his free one and dragged her toward the water’s edge.
“Noah?” she asked, more than curious about his behavior.
When they were knee-deep in water, he handed her a set of fins and a mask and snorkel set. He glanced at her face, his brows still drawn together. “Let it go, Ellie. Please.”
She nodded slowly. It was important to him. But now she was more curious than ever. He hadn’t mentioned the tattoo a single time, nor had he ever had his shorts down with his back to her for her to see it.
Oh, he’d stood gloriously naked before her. She wouldn’t forget that, but he’d put his briefs on before turning around, blocking that tattoo.
She let it go. After all, it would be hypocritical to do otherwise, considering she had her own secrets that were buried deep. His were visible. Hers were in her chest, clenching her heart.
As she strode farther toward the waves next to him, she adjusted her mask and thought for the first time about what would happen if she bared her soul and spilled the details of that spring with him.
What would he say? How would he react? Bile rose in her throat. She could never do it. She knew him well enough even then to know it would destroy him to know the facts. She’d made choices without including him. Life-altering decisions. He would hate her and be devastated. It would be worse than leaving him in the dark, confused and pissed for the next seventy years.
No. She couldn’t do it. Wouldn’t take that risk.
She’d been so deep in thought that she hadn’t realized they’d stopped. Noah was staring at her, water lapping at his chest and forcing them both to bob up and down with the tide. His expression was again serious. He took her hand. “I’ll show you someday, but not today.”
The tattoo. He thought she was still freaking out over the tattoo. “Okay.” Her voice was breathy.
He leaned in, kissed her forehead, and nodded toward the waves. “Let’s go. The fish are waiting.”
Chapter 11
The sun was warm on Noah’s chest as they lay on the lounge chairs on the beach that afternoon. This excursion was laid-back. Snorkeling and eating and drinking leisurely. It was all-inclusive and very relaxing.
Ellie was on her stomach, her face toward him, a slight smile on her lips. Her damn suit was untied so that she wouldn’t get a line from the sun, though he had to restrain himself from arguing about it.
He vowed to buy her a house in the suburbs with a secluded pool so she could sunbathe all she wanted in as little clothing as her heart desired with no threat of anyone seeing his woman naked in their yard.
He realized he was staring at her while he conjured that elaborate picture in his mind. A dream. A pipe dream most likely. Though he was making headway. Or so he thought.
She broke their stare-off to reach down and grab her frozen drink from the little table between them and take a sip.
He picked up his matching one and did the same. It wasn’t red wine, but it was better than beer. He’d never really developed a taste for beer, and the beach resort they were at for the day didn’t have wine.
She giggled, a sound he adored more than red wine. “How’s your drink?”
“It’s okay.” He made a face. “A little sweet, but refreshing in this heat.”
“It is a bit sweet. I promise you we’ll return to civilization later this afternoon and find you some dry red elixir.”
With her chest lifted up a few inches to take a drink, he could almost see her nipples which made his dick harder and his chauvinistic tendency come to the surface. “That’s fine. In the meantime, how about you let me retie your barely existent top.”
She giggled, shaking her head, and lay her cheek back on the towel pillow she’d made. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m fine.”
He sighed. He would never win that battle in his lifetime. “Did you look at the lineup of possible excursions for tomorrow?”
“No. But I was thinking maybe we could take it easy, sleep late, leisurely leave the ship midday, do some sightseeing, shopping, stuff like that. What do you think?”
“I like it.” He smiled. For Ellie, he would d
o anything. Even shop. He wouldn’t do that for any other woman, including his mother.
She closed her eyes, looking content and happy. He loved that look on her, but their days were numbered. At some point he would need to bite the bullet and rock the boat. Even if it capsized.
“Damn, they have a lot of silver stores,” Ellie stated after lunch the next day. They were wandering through the tourist shops at the pier, stopping in random stores for souvenirs. She’d grabbed a few postcards and a tank top.
“Want to go in one?” he asked, nodding toward one of dozens of jewelry stores.
“Sure.” She couldn’t think of anything she might buy, but it was always fun to look.
They wandered around for a few minutes and then came back together at the door. In the next store, Noah picked up a white flowy sundress from a rack. “This would look amazing on you with your new tan.”
She smiled. He was right. It was her style.
“Try it on,” he insisted.
“Okay.” She took it from him, wondering why he was being so insistent, and headed for the fitting room. Maybe he wanted to see it on her. As soon as she had it on, she opened the curtain and peeked out, but she didn’t find him.
His loss. She took the dress off, put her shorts and tank top back on, and found him at the cash register.
“Did it fit?” he asked.
“Yep.”
“Good. I’m getting it for you.” He took it out of her hand and handed it to the cashier.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to. I’m the one who suggested it. And besides, I’m the one who’s going to enjoy looking at it too.” He handed the cashier his credit card.
Ellie chewed on her bottom lip, wondering when he thought he was going to see that dress on her. They had one more full day at sea. One day. Two nights. That was it. Her mouth went dry at the thought.
As they stepped outside, he took her hand. “So far on this trip I’ve spent almost nothing. One excursion and now this dress. I haven’t even given Layton a check for the room. I meant to do that when we arrived.”
She cringed and glanced up at him. “Layton didn’t pay for the room.”
“Well, Karla then. Whatever.”
“She didn’t either.”
He stopped walking. “You paid for the room?”
“Yeah. Karla arranged it, but I gave her my credit card number. I make way more money than her. She was going to cover the on-board expenses. In her fake world.”
“Well, I owe you a lot of money then. Why didn’t you let me cover the snorkeling?”
“Because I didn’t want to. It’s done. I paid for the room weeks ago. It’s no big deal.”
He frowned at her. Here we go.
“You are not covering my half of the room, Ellie. Forget it.”
She sighed. “You haven’t changed.”
“If by that you mean that I’m still a gentleman who pays for my dates when I take them out, then you’re right. I haven’t changed.” He started walking again. He was holding her hand, but kind of tight.
She jerked to free herself, but he didn’t let go. “Noah. Stop. Be reasonable. You didn’t take me out on a date this time. You got tricked. And besides, you’re not even getting sex out of the deal. If you’d met up with Layton instead of being duped into spending the week with me, you’d at least have found a woman on board who was willing to sleep with you.”
The moment the words left her lips, she knew she’d stepped in it.
Noah stopped walking again. He pulled her a few feet into an alley between two shops and plastered her against the wall. With one hand on the brick next to her head and the other trapping her at her side, he looked like flames might come out of his ears.
“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”
“Yeah? How did you mean it? Because it sounded to me like you think I’ve been picking up women at every port for the last decade, fucking them, and leaving them.”
“I didn’t say that.” She kinda did.
“Did I ever once in all the time we were going together give you the impression that you owed me sex or even a trip to first base when I took you out on a date?”
“No.” He hadn’t. She bit her lower lip again. She felt awful. “I’m sorry.”
He stared at her. Hard. “I had intended to share that room with Layton. It’s not a college dorm. I’m not eighteen years old. I wouldn’t have brought women back to the room and stuck a sock on the door.”
“Of course not.” Yeah, she had said some pretty stupid things in her life, but this one topped the list.
He searched her face for a minute.
She licked her dry lips and set her hands on his chest. “I really am sorry. It was stupid and uncalled for.”
He closed his eyes, took several deep breaths, and then set his forehead against hers. “Ellie…” Whatever he’d thought to say, he swallowed it back. Instead, he straightened, took her hand, and continued down the sidewalk.
She tried to slow her racing heart as they made their way back to the ship.
“I need a nap,” he mumbled as they boarded.
“Okay,” she whispered, not even sure if he heard her.
When they got to the room, he dropped their bags and dramatically collapsed onto his back, spread across most of the mattress.
“You want me to go find something to do so you can rest?” she asked tentatively.
He shook his head and reached out a hand. “No. I want you to snuggle into my side and nap with me. I’ll sleep better if you’re in my arms.”
She finally blew out the breath she’d been mostly holding for the last half hour and climbed onto the bed, kicking off her sandals. She curled into his side, set her cheek on his chest, and laid her palm on his abs.
He wrapped his huge arm around her and gave a squeeze before kissing the top of her head. “Sorry I snapped at you,” he said.
“It was my fault. I’m sorry I said such stupid things.”
He squeezed her again and then relaxed. In a few minutes, she knew he was asleep, and she enjoyed every moment of his resting body until she succumbed to sleep herself.
Chapter 12
As soon as Ellie stepped out of the bathroom that night, her usual towel wrapped around her, she found Noah standing in the cabin, fully dressed for dinner as always, holding a single white rose.
He was smiling at her as he came toward her, and then he trailed the soft petals down her cheek. It was the most romantic gesture of her life. Even after she’d totally pissed him off that afternoon, he’d let it go and proved it was over with the effort.
She tipped her cheek into his hand and then took the rose from him to sniff the fragrant bud. “You sure know how to make a woman feel loved.” The words slipped out unbidden. Not that she was wrong. But she probably could have chosen better.
“That’s the idea.” He smiled warmly at her and set the rose on the bed. “What’s the color scheme for tonight? I didn’t select my tie yet.”
She’d never met a more thoughtful man in her life. He loved her so totally. She knew it. And he was working his ass off to prove himself worthy. The problem was nothing he could do would erase the past, and she knew he could never let it die.
Nor could she.
They were at an impasse. No amount of roses or fine dining or dancing or kissing could fix this mess. She shoved the distressing thoughts to the back of her mind and turned toward the closet. “The white one we just bought? Or this black one?” She fingered the standard little black dress that no woman would leave home without. “I also have a skirt and blouse I haven’t worn yet.”
“Wear the white one. I didn’t get to see it.”
“I stuck my head out to show you, but you were nowhere in sight.”
He frowned. “Guess I wandered outside for a moment.” He reached for their bags on the floor and pulled it out. “Will it be too wrinkly?” he asked.
“Nope. It’s meant to look wrinkled. It’s fine.” She se
lected a white lace bra and panty set and lifted her gaze.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll be on the balcony.” He left her there, but this time a knot in her belly tightened. It felt wrong. They were so close and yet so far apart. She longed for more. She wanted to bridge that gap. But she couldn’t.
She was still shaking when she was finished dressing. The material of the dress was thin enough that he would see the lace of her bra through the front. The matching thong made her feel sexy. The hem hung at mid-thigh. She decided to put on silver sandals and then turned around and put the silver clip in her hair too.
When she stepped out onto the balcony, Noah turned around. He chuckled. “Damn. I didn’t make a very good choice, did I?”
She frowned. “What do you mean?” She glanced down, thinking it fit her nicely and had the perfect combination of flirty and sexy. It was youthful.
“There’s nothing for me to zip or tie. I have no reason to put my hands on you.”
She giggled and then leaned into him, flattening her palms on his chest. “You don’t need a reason. You haven’t needed a reason this entire week. I’m not sure you’ve gone more than a few minutes without touching me since we found each other at the bar.”
He smiled. “Fair point.”
After selecting a black tie, he grabbed their keycards like every night and stuffed them in his pocket. His hand was on the small of her back as he led her down the hallway.
Unexplained nerves climbed up her spine as they took their seats in the dining room. She had no idea why. Nothing had changed. Except something had. She just couldn’t put her finger on it.
Renaldo set a glass of red wine and a gin and tonic in front of them. He was amazing.
Every course of their meal was delicious as always, though Noah seemed quieter than usual. She wanted to ask if something was on his mind, but she couldn’t bring herself to say a word and rock their precarious boat.
When the dessert plates were cleared away, Noah set his wine on the table and met her gaze. “I got you something.”
Hot SEAL, Red Wine (SEALs in Paradise) Page 10
