Teacher's Plans

by JoAnn Carter

  ****

  The evening air held a soft cool breeze as Tracy drove through town. His heart skipped a beat as soon as he saw Amanda waiting for him on the front step of the farmhouse. She was beautiful, and though she may not realize it, she held his heart in her hand, and always would. Lord, in the past nine months, I’ve grown to love this woman. The last thing I want to do is hurt her, and yet, I sense this will. Give me Your words.

  Tracy pulled into the driveway. Amanda stood up and dusted off her pants. Tracy smiled as he got out of the car. “Hello.”

  “Hi.” Amanda picked her purse up from the floor of the porch.

  If only I could pick up the mess I’m in as easily at that, Tracy thought as he took a deep breath. “All set?”

  “Yes, I think so.” Amanda walked toward his car. After they got settled in, Tracy turned toward her. “Amanda, I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty to ask Mr. Willis and Mr. Murray to join us later for dessert at the Hyatt since this involves them as well.”

  He could tell she was perplexed when she said, “Well…I guess so.”

  “I’d like us to have dinner first and I’ll try to explain things as best I can. Then, as long as you’re sure you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to have the other gentleman present to get this whole thing cleared up and settled fair and square.” He reached out and touched her shoulder, wishing he could hold her in his arms. “However, you are more important to me than this issue. If you are uncomfortable about meeting them, I’ll call them back and cancel if you want me, too.”

  She played with her seatbelt. “Tracy, you’re making me nervous. Whatever you think is fine by me.”

  Never before had he felt so unworthy of someone’s trust. He took a deep breath. “Let’s get some supper.”

  The keyed-up tension they had both been feeling seemed to suddenly dissipate. Amanda laughed, “I never know what to expect from you.”

  Tracy was about ready to turn the key, but instead, he asked, “Amanda, would you mind if we just prayed for a moment?”

  Amanda nodded her head in consent. “I think that’s a great idea.”

  Tracy put his keys down on the seat and wrapped his fingers around hers. Her hand fit in his like a glove—perfect. “Father, I thank you for Amanda. Thank you for the progress we’ve been able to make this year in the lives of our students.” Tracy paused for a moment. “Lord, You know how long I’ve wanted to share this very issue of what I now need to discuss with Amanda. I pray for wisdom and guidance. May Your will be done.” Tracy squeezed Amanda’s hand.

  Amanda prayed, “Lord, thank you, that we are Your children and that You love us and have a plan for us. Tonight I pray especially, that Tracy would be able to communicate well during this small gathering so we can understand fully what he needs to say to us. We commit this night to you, Lord.”

  “You don’t know how special you are, Amanda Manning.”

  She playfully swatted his arm. “Whoever said that?”

  Tracy laughed and started up the car. “I guess you’re right…whoever said that?”

  ****

  It was such a pretty evening that they bought an impromptu picnic at the deli, then drove to the park. They found a beautiful spot by the pond with a free picnic table, which they quickly claimed, and divided the food between them. Amanda nibbled at her turkey sandwich while watching the mama duck swimming with five little ducklings behind her. The peaceful, romantic setting made Amanda desire to sidestep the issue that weighed on both their minds. If only they weren’t here for conflict resolution, but for a real date.

  Tracy’s deep voice penetrated her thoughts. “Isn’t it something how they don’t seem to have a care in the world?” He pointed to the ducks frolicking in the water.

  “It’s as if they know they’ll be taken care of.” Like a gale, it hit Amanda all at once. “If those little ducks know that, why do we struggle with the idea that God loves us and will take care of us?”

  Tracy, who was leaning his chin on his hand, straightened up. “I guess we could learn a lot from those ducks couldn’t we?”

  Amanda saw his few words held deep meaning for him. “Watching the ducks reminds me of one of my favorite Bible passages.”

  Tracy’s eyebrow rose. “Which one?”

  “1 Peter 5:6-7. ‘ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you .’ Those ducks are just humble little creatures yet God cares for them. How much more will he care for us?”

  Tracy nodded his head in agreement. “I like the verse that says something like, ‘ Consider the lilies of the field…for Solomon dressed in royal robes has not the wealth of them. Consider the creatures of the air and how He takes care of them. When we ask Him for bread, will He give us a stone? ’”

  Amanda closed her eyes for a moment. “Umm. That’s a good one, too.”

  Tracy smiled and teased, “Maybe that’s why God made ducks.” He grew serious. “Nature all around could teach us some very profound things if we would just take the time to listen to God through them.”

  Amanda giggled, “Gee, I didn’t know dinner would include a theological discussion, did you?”

  “Well, you might feel like you need to give me one after tonight.”

  Amanda pitched her garbage into the trash can as she said, “You better just stop it right there, bud. Don’t get me all nervous again about this mystery.”

  “Ah, right, let’s remedy that. It’s high time we talked.” Tracy sighed. “I have been working at the school now for almost the whole year as your assistant. I’ve enjoyed every bit of it. You’ve come to mean…so much to me.”

  Amanda sat forward to encourage him to continue as his words sputtered to a stop. “You mean a lot to me, too.”

  “Look, Amanda, I hope you know me well enough by now to know that I am an honest guy.” Amanda nodded her head and waited again. “I not only work for the school, but as you’ll hear in more detail tonight, I am also first and foremost, as the rumors have implied, an employee of the State.”

  Amanda bit on her lower lip. Finally, she said, “But, what does that mean?”

  Tracy rubbed the back of his neck. “It means,” He reached for her hand. “I wish I could have told you all of this earlier. I was at the school to do two jobs. The first was to make sure the school’s State funded programs were being run effectively and accurately. The second was to be as your assistant.” Amanda took her hand away as he carefully said, “I want you to know, this doesn’t change anything. Not the way I feel about you or even the students for that matter.”

  “It doesn’t change anything?” Honest. There’s nothing honest about the lie he’s been living. Deceived, I’ve been deceived. When will I ever learn, love it not worth the agony. Amanda put her face into her hands as she mumbled, “How can you say that? I went against my personal rule of dating a co-worker.” With tears blurring her vision, she croaked, “Will they fire me now?”

  “No. Please don’t worry about anything like that.”

  Amanda sniffed and then asked softly, “How can a person who values honesty have such double standards?”

  “Amanda, I understand your feelings, but I never really stopped to consider that honesty would be an issue. I was hired as your assistant and that’s what I did.”

  “But what about the State…not to mention how you withheld your job with the State from me. Why? Why is this secrecy so important?”

  Tracy sat next to her quietly for about five minutes before he gently said, “Amanda, I’m sorry. Perhaps after we meet with Mr. Willis, you’ll be able to understand better.” He glanced at his watch and grimaced. “Speaking of which, if we are going to meet the men we need to leave now. Are you still up to going?”

  Amanda stood up. “I’m not sure if I’m up to it, but I think I need to go anyway.”

  ****

  Mr. Murray made his way through the parking lot as they arrived at the Hyatt. Tracy raised
his hand in a greeting. They waited for him to catch up. “Good evening, Mr. Murray.” Tracy extended his hand to Mr. Murray with a firm handshake.

  “Evening, Tracy.” Nodding his head to include Amanda, he said, “Evening, Amanda.”

  Amanda quietly said, “Hello, Mr. Murray.”

  Tracy gently held Amanda’s elbow. “Shall we go inside?”

  The hostess showed them to their seats. Mr. Willis stood up as they approached the table. Greetings and handshakes were exchanged. Every minute that passed, Amanda felt more and more awkward and out of place. So much for our nice dinner by the pond. Now, it’s all starched shirts and tight ties. These people are way out of my league .

  After watching Tracy for a few minutes, she noticed, as uncomfortable as she was, the opposite was true for him. It was amazing to see how Tracy could just shoot the breeze with these two very important men, as if they were on equal footing. Amanda had to consciously remember this was the same man who gets down on his knees to look a child in the eye as he is speaking to them. Tracy turned toward Amanda and gave her a beautiful smile. Amanda sat up a little straighter in her chair, so I may not have a high paying job, nor fit in with the elite, but I am a child of the King.

  The waitress came and presented a wonderful dessert tray. Amanda was too busy looking them over to notice what the others had ordered. Chocolate is what a body needs at a time like this! The waitress looked at Amanda, “And what would you like?”

  Amanda smiled up at her and said, “I’ll try the ‘Double Chocolate Delight’. It really looks the part. A cup of coffee, too, please.”

  Small talk ensued until after the desserts arrived. As soon as the food was placed before them and the waitress left, Tracy lost no time in stating what was on his mind. “Thank you both for being willing to meet with us tonight. Mr. Willis and I have agreed to…” Tracy looked around the room trying to find the right words, “shed light on a few important things about myself. For the past two years, we have been doing random audit work in different schools. I am an employee of the State.”

  A look of surprise and then bewilderment crossed Mr. Murray’s face as Tracy continued. “There are several schools throughout the State in which we have specialized research going on.” He opened his hands, “We go in and look to see how the facilities are running, if the staff has the resources they need, if there are any difficulties in the administration aspect of the school system, etc.”

  Mr. Willis interjected, “The reason for Mr. Atkins not offering you this information before you hired him was so that we could get the most accurate picture. No pretenses on anyone’s part.”

  Tracy looked squarely at Mr. Murray. “What we are doing is not to get anyone in trouble. It’s merely to have the schools run as efficiently as possible. We want what is best for both the students and the staff that works with them.”

  Mr. Murray face was turning red. “How’d you know you would be hired?”

  Tracy answered good-naturedly, “Well, I didn’t know for sure. There were actually three of us that applied for jobs throughout the school.” Smiling at Amanda, he said, “I just happened to be the lucky one who actually got the privilege of working with one of the best teaching staffs I’ve ever known.”

  Mr. Murray shook his head. Everyone waited for his reaction. Finally, he gave a small chuckle. “You really had me duped. From all the reports I heard, you were a fine assistant. A very far cry from your position with the State.” With a new respect in his eyes, he looked Tracy over. “Well, I guess I really have no reason for complaint. You’ve done the job I hired you for. So tell me,” Mr. Murray could not help but question, “may we know what you’ve concluded about our school.”

  Mr. Willis cut in. “I can assure you that from the audit I’ve just completed, and the reports Tracy has been writing, your school is in good standing. However, we cannot give any details further than that. We’ll contact you in June after our total assessment. At that point, your school, along with all of the other schools, will have completed studies. We would appreciate it if this knowledge did not go any further than this room for the time being. If this got out it, it could jeopardize the work we’ve been doing.”

  Amanda cleared her throat causing all the men to look her way. With a slightly unsteady voice, she said, “Unfortunately, I think it’s already too late. I was told this morning that Tracy worked for the State by a co-worker at our school.”

  Mr. Willis murmured, “Ah, yes, that truly is unfortunate. Tracy mentioned that to me.” Looking down his nose at Amanda, he said, “It will be up to you to squelch that rumor. Otherwise, there would have been no need for you to know at this point.” Looking over at Tracy, he said, “Actually, I advised him against it.” As if that closed the subject he turned again to Mr. Murray.

  This guy’s a jerk. The only reason he wanted me to know about Tracy was so I could do his dirty work, stopping a rumor at school. I don’t think so. Amanda tried not to squirm in her seat as Mr. Willis’ bird-like eyes glared at her.

  He turned his attention back to Mr. Murray. “Now that Tracy’s position is known by you, I would request your consideration in letting him leave the class next month. It would be very valuable to have him back in the office to tie things up there.”

  Tracy firmly put in, “However, I do have a contract with you. I have no intent of breaking it if it would leave you in a bind. Gathering my data can wait if need be.”

  Mr. Murray looked kindly at Tracy. “I appreciate that. Let me see what I can do and I’ll let you know. You should be aware though; the staff is going to want to know, if you do indeed leave early, why you are leaving. It might actually cast more suspicions on Tracy than there already is.”

  “I’m not too concerned about that.” Mr. Willis quickly put in, “The benefits outweigh the risks. You can simply say he’s moving.” He drained the last of his coffee and looked at his heavy gold watch. “I have some things I need to attend to.” Looking around the table, he said, “I just want to make it clear; it is imperative that the rest of the staff remain uninformed at this time regarding Mr. Atkins’s true position.”

  Mr. Atkins, indeed! Amanda thought to herself. In fact, rather than seeing the turn of events as a possible answer to her prayers, inwardly she was fuming. Our positions and roles just did a complete 360. How am I ever going to get used to this, let alone be comfortable with it?

  Mr. Willis threw some bills on the table before leaving. Shortly after, Mr. Murray also stood up. “It’s been a very informative evening. Although I would have liked you to be up front with me from the start, I also respect your position with the State and your need for secrecy.”

  Tracy cut in. “I haven’t told you any falsehoods. What was on my résumé was true.” Sheepishly, he added, “It just was not complete. For the record, I really did enjoy working with the kids. It’s been a great year for me and I thank you for the opportunity.”

  Mr. Murray’s parting words were “Perhaps you missed your calling. However, from the looks of it, I imagine you would be good at whatever you put your mind to. Good evening, folks.”

  Amanda looked down at her Double Chocolate Delight that was barely touched. After toying with it for the past fifteen minutes, she finally put her fork down. Tracy leaned across the table looking pleased with himself. “What’s the matter? It’s not as delightful as you imagined?”

  “Appearances can be deceiving, can’t they?”

  A frown marred his handsome face.

  Amanda wiped her mouth with her napkin as she pushed back her chair. “Would you mind taking me home?”

  Why did Tracy look so puzzled? Didn’t he realize her world had been shattered tonight?

  “Let me just attend to this bill. I’ll meet you at the door.”

  “Fine.”

  ****

  The car ride home was terrible for Amanda. She sat in tortured silence, calling herself all kinds of a fool for the duration of it. Tracy, apparently not knowing what to say, opted to say nothing at all. A
s soon as the car stopped, Amanda rushed out the door.

  Tracy called after her. “Amanda…”

  Amanda turned and the words tumbled out of her mouth. “Tracy, what am I supposed to do now? Act as if nothing has changed? I’m sorry but I can’t do that.”

  Tracy unfastened his seatbelt and went to get out of the car.

  “No, don’t bother.” Tracy’s hand froze on the doorhandle as she continued, “I can’t think straight enough to talk right now.”

  “But...”

  Amanda held up her hand to silence him. “It’ll hold until another day,” she said before she opened her door.

  Amanda let herself in without even turning on a light. She sank down into the couch and sat in her dark living room for a few minutes thinking about the evening. What am I going to tell Carolyn? As betrayed and hurt as Amanda felt, she also clearly recalled Mr. Willis’s beady eyes enforcing the importance of not offering any information about Tracy at this point.