The Best Man for the Job

by Lucy King

  Giddy with relief she grinned and shifted and murmured against his mouth, ‘Then how about this time we finally get naked and find a bed?’

  * * *

  Celia sat on her window seat in her bedroom, stared out into the moonlit darkness as she listened to Marcus’ deep breathing from where he lay sprawled across her bed, and thought that she might as well face it. She was head over heels in love with the man.

  She didn’t know how or when it had happened, only that at some point over the past two months or, more likely, fifteen years, it had, and that now she was aware of the fact it was hard to imagine not being in love with him.

  When she thought about the criteria she’d always considered important in a man, he fitted. In almost every way. He was strong, loyal and supportive. Hard-working, driven and ambitious. He had a strong sense of moral responsibility, played to his strengths and accepted his weaknesses. In short, he was amazing.

  How had she not seen it before?

  Smiling gently, still slightly stunned by the realisation she was nuts about him when only a short while ago she’d loathed him, Celia hugged her knees to her chest and grimaced when her tummy got in the way. So she stretched her legs out instead and crossed them at the ankles and thought about the way he made her feel. Apart from the sex, which was mind-blowing as well as eye-opening, he made her feel as if she could do anything, be anyone. He was the first person she wanted to turn to, whether with successes or failures. The first person she’d go to if she was ill, doubtful or needed a different take on something. The only person she wanted to love, live with and have a family with.

  And the best, truly amazing, thing was, she was pretty sure Marcus was in love with her too. She’d felt it in his touch tonight when they’d made it to her bed. She’d seen it in his eyes. Heard it in his words. He’d explored her so thoroughly, so tenderly, lingering over the slight rise of her abdomen, almost as if he’d been worshipping her.

  She was equally sure, however, that he wouldn’t want to be in love with her, and that when he realised he was he’d reject it with everything he had. But that was fine. She wasn’t planning on going anywhere for a while, even if he was. He was worth it so she’d wait. And not just for him to wake up and take her into his arms once again.

  But, as he was still dead to the world, in the wake of the earth-shattering realisation that she was mad about him, maybe now would be a good opportunity to take stock of her life to date. To think about what she really wanted for the future. For herself and her child. She needed to consider her responsibilities and work out her priorities. She needed to figure out why she hadn’t been more excited about getting the partnership as she’d always envisaged.

  And, frankly, it was about time.

  * * *

  Rolling onto his back, still half asleep, Marcus thought that if the night he’d just had was a dream he didn’t plan on waking up any time soon. It had been astounding, and, he suspected dozily, not just because it had been a while since he’d had sex.

  Celia had been voracious, he recalled, the images flickering through his head making him smile. And demanding. On the way to her bedroom she’d told him what she wanted him to do to her, blushing fiercely and muttering something about pregnancy hormones. He didn’t know about the validity of that, but nor did he particularly care because whatever it was that was driving her desire to almost insatiable levels it had seriously turned him on. They’d combined hot and fast with slow and sensuous, his fantasies with hers, and it had been everything Marcus had imagined.

  And everything, he suspected, he’d feared.

  Searching for her with his hand and hoping to roll her beneath him before the doubts and fears took hold, when he came up with nothing he cracked open an eyelid. To see she was sitting on the window seat, wrapped in a dressing gown, her legs crossed as she looked out of the window, a thoughtful expression on her face.

  He levered himself up onto his elbows and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. ‘How long have you been sitting there?’ he asked, blinking and noting that the sky beyond was no longer the deep black of night, but the teal-blue of imminent dawn.

  ‘A while,’ she said, giving him a smile that made warmth unfurl in the pit of his stomach and his body stir.

  ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘Thinking.’

  ‘About what?’

  She gave a little shrug. ‘Just things.’

  ‘What kind of things?’

  ‘You really want to know?’

  ‘I do.’ He shouldn’t, but as things he wanted to think about even less were threatening to invade his head he did.

  She swung her legs off the window seat, stood and walked over to the bed. ‘OK,’ she said, sitting on the mattress and crossing her legs Buddha style. ‘Well, first, I’m going to turn down the partnership.’

  That did the trick, he thought wryly, shock pushing those creeping thoughts back as he stared at her. ‘You’re what?’

  ‘I’m turning down the partnership.’

  He opened his mouth. Then closed it. ‘Why?’ he said eventually. ‘I thought it was everything you’ve ever wanted.’

  ‘So did I. But I now realise it isn’t.’

  ‘Since when?’

  ‘Probably since the moment they told me and instead of feeling fireworks going off inside me what I felt was more like a damp squib.’

  He shoved his hands through his hair and gave his head a quick shake because this wasn’t small. This was huge. Worryingly huge. ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘I’m sure,’ she said with a firm nod. ‘I’ve been so focused on getting it, working so hard and making so many sacrifices, and now I can’t help thinking, for what? So I can work even longer hours, more weekends? And end up with burnout, having a breakdown or worse? I don’t want to do that. Not any more. It’s not fair.’

  She rubbed a hand over her stomach and he wondered if she realised she was doing it.

  ‘More to the point,’ she continued, ‘I don’t need to.’

  He frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Most of my entire adult life has been driven by one thing. Getting my father’s approval. And the partnership was tied up with that because I really thought that he’d be proud of me. But I rang him this afternoon to tell him and all he did was bang on about some woman he’d met on the Internet. Whatever I do I doubt I’ll ever have his approval and I doubt he’ll ever be proud of me. He’s just not the type.’

  Marcus felt his entire body shudder with the strength of the protective instinct that streaked through him and he suddenly burned with the desire to drive to her father’s house right now and shake him until he realised what an amazing daughter he had.

  ‘And you know what?’ she added, almost as if she was talking to herself. ‘I’m actually fine with that. I don’t need his approval. I’m good enough without it. More than good enough. And what’s so great about him anyway? He might be a first-class lawyer, but as a human being, as a man, he’s pretty pathetic.’

  He wanted to cheer and then wrap her in a massive hug, but, a bit baffled by that, instead he said, ‘So what are you going to do if you don’t take the partnership?’

  ‘Resign, definitely. Maybe move firms, if I can find one with a child-friendly policy. Maybe switch to a different kind of law. Maybe work from home a bit. I’m not entirely sure, but I do know that I don’t want to rush back to work the second I give birth. I want to spend some time getting to know my child. I mean, I’ll probably go mad after a few months, but at the beginning, at least, I think the time is precious.’ She stopped and frowned at him, even as she smiled. ‘What?’

  ‘Nothing,’ he said, trying to untangle all the emotions rushing through him. ‘I’m just a bit taken aback, that’s all.’ Or try stunned. Confused. Deeply, deeply disturbed.

  ‘Not half as taken aback as I am,’ she s
aid dryly. ‘You were right about my work-life balance all along, Marcus. I do need to change it. I also ought to learn how to cook. And I’d like to take you up on your offer of the house next door, if it still stands, because you were right about this place as well. I mean, the stairs, the neighbours, all this white immaculateness... Hardly compatible with a messy, crying baby.’

  He didn’t know what to say to that. How could he retract the offer of his house now? When she’d obviously put a lot of thought into these decisions. These life-changing decisions.

  Made because of him. Made possibly because of the night they’d just spent together. Damn, now—too late—he remembered why sex with her was a bad idea. It was never going to be just sex. It was potentially life-changing and he didn’t want lives changed. Not hers, especially not his.

  ‘There are a couple of other things you ought to know, Marcus.’

  ‘What?’ he muttered, feeling a cold sweat break out all over his skin because one night of spectacular sex and she was turning into someone he wasn’t sure he could handle.

  ‘Firstly, I’m in love with you.’

  He froze, went numb for a moment before his entire body filled with dread, dragging him down. ‘And secondly?’ he said, sounding as if he were deep under water. Which maybe he was, because he certainly felt as if he were drowning, because he knew what was coming next.

  ‘Secondly, I think you might be in love with me too.’

  The room tilted, spun, and if he hadn’t already been lying down he’d have crashed to the floor. He felt sick. Weak. His brain imploding with the effort of denying it.

  ‘I’m sorry, Celia,’ he said, his head a mess and his throat tight and the word escape flashing in his brain in great big neon letters, ‘but I can’t do this.’

  ‘Can’t do what?’ she said calmly.

  ‘This.’ He waved a hand between the two of them, struggling to keep a lid on the panic. ‘I’m not in love with you.’

  She nodded. ‘OK, look, Marcus, I get that this has all probably come as a bit of a shock to you, and I know how the idea of being in love terrifies you, so if you need to leave, that’s fine. If you need some time to figure out how you feel and what you want that’s also fine. I can wait. Not for ever,’ she said with a soft smile that he didn’t understand at all because he couldn’t think of a situation that less required a smile, ‘but I can wait.’

  FOURTEEN

  ‘So what’s going on, Marcus? First you knock up my sister and then you abandon her? On what planet is that OK?’

  At Dan’s words—spoken so casually, so conversationally and a mere couple of metres to the right of him—Marcus froze. For the briefest of seconds his concentration shook and his foot slipped. His shoulders wrenched and the muscles in his arms screamed and he had to grit his teeth against the sudden shocking pain. Cursing his so-called friend with what little breath he had, he strengthened his grip on the crimps and jammed his foot back into position.

  Trust Dan to wait until they were halfway up a wall and thirty feet off the ground before launching his attack. They’d met up around half an hour ago, and at any point since then he could have brought it up, but no, as the owner of one of London’s most successful advertising agencies, Dan was all about maximum impact.

  ‘I wouldn’t put it quite like that,’ Marcus muttered, although that was exactly what he’d done.

  ‘Then how would you put it?’ said Dan, swinging his arm up and latching onto a sloper.

  Marcus braced himself and hitched himself up a foot and absolutely refused to wince as his shoulder protested. ‘I needed a bit of time and space to figure some stuff out.’

  ‘What could take a month?’ Dan asked through gritted teeth. ‘I only took a fortnight.’

  Well, now, wasn’t that the question of the century? thought Marcus, stopping for a moment to catch his breath. Why was it taking so long to work out? As Dan had said, it had been four long, agonising weeks, and he was still no closer to unravelling the mess inside his head than he had been when he’d walked out of—no, fled, would be a better description for the way he’d left—Celia’s flat.

  ‘Just stuff,’ he muttered.

  ‘Ah,’ said Dan knowingly, grabbing his water bottle, unscrewing the lid and taking a glug. ‘Stuff. Gotcha.’

  They stayed there like that for a moment, breathing hard and rehydrating as Marcus tried to figure out what it was Dan thought he knew, until he couldn’t bear the thundering silence any longer. ‘Anyway, Celia was the one who suggested I take a break,’ he said, as if that made what he was doing all fine.

  ‘I doubt she meant quite this long.’

  Marcus did too. And that simply added guilt and shame to the chaos in his head. ‘Have you seen her?’ he asked.

  Dan leaned back into his harness and wiped his brow. ‘Yup.’

  ‘How is she?’

  ‘Getting big. Looks a bit tired but other than that, fine.’

  ‘Good.’

  ‘She resigned, you know.’

  ‘She mentioned she was going to.’

  ‘And she’s started house-hunting.’

  Marcus winced, but Dan carried on regardless. ‘You know, I knew she was making a mistake thinking you’d stick around,’ he said.

  Marcus stared at him and nearly dropped his water bottle. What the hell? He was sticking around. Of course he was. He was just trying to figure out how. And coming up with a blank because how was he supposed to keep himself safe if he saw her all the time?

  ‘She said you’d decided to face up to your responsibilities and was actually quite strident in her defence of you. But I had my doubts.’

  Marcus felt his chest tighten. She’d defended him? When was the last time anyone had defended him? Been on his side the way she was?

  ‘And actually I don’t blame you,’ Dan continued, ‘because being tied to Celia for the rest of your life? That’s not something I’d wish on anyone, least of all my best mate.’

  OK, that was enough. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’ he snapped.

  ‘I know I’m her brother, but that doesn’t make me blind to her faults. I love her to pieces but she can be difficult. She’s stubborn and uncompromising and as tough as nails.’

  ‘She’s not any of that,’ said Marcus grimly, feeling his heart begin to thump and his head pound.

  ‘No?’

  ‘No,’ he said even more grimly.

  ‘Then what is she?’

  Fabulous. That was what she was. Brave, loyal, clever, brilliant and gorgeous. The mother of his child and the woman he was head over heels in love with.

  As the truth of it broke free from the shackles he’d bound it with, his head swam, his vision blurred, his muscles weakened, without intending to he let go of the wall.

  Down he fell. Down, down, down. Jerking to a juddering halt a metre from the ground. Every bone in his body jarred. Every muscle screamed. But his head was clearer than it had been for weeks.

  He’d spent the past month trying to work out how to resist falling in love with Celia but what was the point when it had already happened? He might have been in free fall only a moment ago, but his heart had been in free fall for weeks, month, years probably.

  He was nuts about her. Well, of course he was, because how could he not be? She was the most amazing woman he’d ever met and the time he’d spent with her had been the best, most stimulating, fun time of his life.

  She was the only woman he wanted to commit to, and not just because she was having his baby. The only woman he could ever imagine living with, loving, till death did them part, which would hopefully be later rather than sooner. They were having a child together, going to be a family, if he hadn’t totally screwed things up.

  It wasn’t the fact that Celia had told him she loved him that had put the fear of God into
him. No. That made him feel as if he were on top of the world, as if he were the strongest, bravest, best man in the world.

  It was the fact that she’d suggested that he was in love with her. He hadn’t wanted it to be true because he’d always thought of love as dangerous. Treacherous. Life destroying and very much not for him.

  But maybe it didn’t have to be like that. Maybe it could be as lovely as Celia had said. She’d scared the life out of him when she’d told him that he was in love with her, but really what was there to be scared of? Dan seemed to be doing all right.

  Maybe when it came down to it, there came a time when you had to stop wallowing in the past and get on with things. Like life. And maybe that time was now.

  ‘Are you all right?’ said Dan, who’d abseiled down the wall and was looking shocked and a bit pale.

  ‘Never felt better,’ said Marcus, now burning with the need to sort out the utter balls-up he’d made of things.

  ‘Are you sure? No whiplash? Torn muscles?’

  The only muscle tearing was his heart, because when he thought of what Celia must be going through because of his thick-headed selfishness it made him physically hurt.

  ‘I’m fine.’

  ‘You scared the life out of me.’

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘That’s all right. Anyway it’s only fair since I probably scared the life out of you.’

  Ah, thought Marcus as it all became clear. His friend, with all his talk of love and marriage happening to him one day, all that nonsense about Celia being tough and difficult and uncompromising prodding him into accepting the truth, was more perceptive than he’d ever given him credit for.

  ‘Thanks, Dan,’ he said, lowering himself to the floor and unbuckling his harness.

  ‘No problem,’ said Dan with a broad grin. ‘First Kit, now you. What can I say? It’s a gift. In fact I ought to start charging.’

  ‘Then send me the bill. Right now, though, I need to go.’

  * * *

  When she’d told Marcus she’d wait, Celia had assumed he’d need maybe a week to realise he was in love with her and come to terms with it. A fortnight at the most. But here she was a month after he’d walked out on her and she still hadn’t heard a word.