by Brill Harper
For the first time since I “met” Dixie, I feel attracted to another woman. She’s not the kind of beauty that people buy magazines for, but there’s a special ...grace about her. She looks good with a baby in her arms. It feels like cheating to even notice her, but now I can’t stop. She smells like oranges.
My heart picks up, and I’m hyperaware of everything around me. The ticking of the kitchen clock, the little gurgles from baby Emma, the freckles across the bridge of the brunette’s nose.
Merrily pops back in. “Okay, I’m going to change the baby, and you two are going to stop hiding in my kitchen. Heaven save me from introverts. Oh, God. I didn’t even introduce you. Cap, this is my cousin, Dixie. She’s the godmother and the one who is actually guardian if something happens to us. Dix, this is Jim’s boss. But he’s part of the family. He’s the one who promises to threaten potential boyfriends of Emma’s for you if you end up taking care of her.”
Shock sucker-punches me in the gut. That’s a coincidence, right? I mean she can’t be my Dixie. Life doesn’t work that way. But how many women are named Dixie? I never met one before a month ago.
I look at this Dixie more closely, searching for clues. My mouth goes dry and my hands ache to touch this woman, this stranger, just to see. Would I know if I touched her? Would my body recognize her? Fuck. I think it already does. I take a deep breath, trying to slow down my racing heart. I wait for her to hand the baby to Merrily before I put my hand out. “Hello, Dixie.”
She blinks. I think she recognizes my voice. Her breath catches when I take her hand in mine to shake.
“You don’t have to call me Cap unless you get a job at the fire hall. Feel free to call me Leo.”
Chapter Four
Dixie
LEO?
I’m touching Leo? Leo is holding my hand right now. My Leo.
His eyes are coffee brown with laugh lines that make his rugged good looks warm and approachable. His hand is warm and strong. He’s tall and solid and more perfect than I ever imagined even in my wildest dreams.
What must he think of me? I’m sure he built me up in his head as a bombshell and now he must be realizing I wasn’t kidding about being plain and ordinary.
His hand squeezes mine instead of letting go. “You’re beautiful.”
Did I say any of that out loud? He can’t possibly think I’m beautiful, but he’s not looking away. It’s like we’ve got magnets in our eyes.
I hear a gasp from my cousin, but I can’t look away from Leo’s eyes to explain why this stranger is saying such a crazy thing to me, a woman he just met. A woman who doesn’t attract much attention from guys very often.
He steps further into my space. Looks at me like we are the only two people in the world. “Are you breathing, sweetheart?”
I am feeling a little lightheaded. “I don’t think so.”
“Maybe you should try a couple breaths.”
It is my Leo. His voice wraps around me, enfolding me in warmth the way it always does on the phone. My heart is hammering the inside of my ribcage like it’s trying to get to him.
“Is this really happening?”
I must be dreaming. He can’t be here. I’d nearly convinced myself I’d made him up.
Merrily clears her throat. “You two know each other?”
“You’re Jim’s captain?” I ask him, ignoring her question. “He talks about you all the time. He told me you’re the best man he knows.”
He touches my sleeve like he’s making sure I’m not a figment of his imagination. “You’re Merrily’s cousin? She said you were the only family she trusted to care for Emma. She told me...she told me her cousin is going to be an excellent mother someday.”
I choke on a sob and my heart flips. He knows how much that means to me. He’s so tender for someone so big and strong.
I hear Jim’s voice before he enters the kitchen. “Babe, where are you and Emma? The party is looking for the guests of honor—oh, hey, Cap came. I just lost money on that one.” He clears his throat. “Why is everyone staring at each other in here?”
“Leo and Dixie just met. I think,” Merrily says, crossing the kitchen in my peripheral vision. “I’m still trying to figure that out.”
“We know each other,” Leo says, not looking away from my eyes. “She’s the future mother of my children.”
We all gasp this time.
“Wait. Our Dixie is your internet girlfriend?” Jim starts laughing. “Holy shit. This is great. You guys have been living in the same town for years.”
That’s when I start hyperventilating. Jim and Leo get me into a chair and I’m handed a paper bag. I don’t know what I’m freaking out about the most. That Leo exists. That he’s the hottest man I’ve ever seen. That he lives in the same town. That we’re godparents to the same child. That he told Jim I was his internet girlfriend. That he just announced I’m the future mother of his children and we haven’t even been on a date. That he might possibly want to date me.
It’s all too much, so I breathe into the bag until everyone clears out of the kitchen and leaves us alone.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey.”
“You gonna put the bag down?”
I shake my head, bag firmly in place.
“Dixie...”
I never thought I’d hear him say my name again. I thought...I’m at a loss. I hand him the bag. He crouches in front of my chair. I’m so afraid to wake up right now. He’s just...everything. And he’s looking at me like he’s memorizing my face. And then he frowns. “Hey. You broke up with me.”
My lower lip quivers. “I know it was shitty of me to break up with you in a voicemail. I’m sorry. My emotions were out of control. I was just so worried. When I didn’t hear from you...I assumed the worst.” My stomach clenches around the memory of that fear.
He nods. “It’s tough on the family. To worry and wonder. I get that.”
“But...I wasn’t your family. I was a nobody. You could have died and I would never have known. I got scared.”
“Hey.” He cups my jaw and forces me to meet his gaze. “Don’t ever think you’re a nobody.”
“You know what I mean. I was feeling real feelings—but what we had wasn’t real.”
“Wasn’t it? It felt real to me. It still feels real.”
It feels real to me, too. But I don’t think he understands who I really am.
“I don’t know if I’m the same Dixie that you think I am. I’m not like her all the time. I’m boring and plain and—”
“When I saw you across the room, before I knew who you were, I felt something. I even felt shitty because it felt like I was cheating on you to be attracted to, well, you. That’s how fucked up our lives are right now. But I didn’t think you were plain or boring, Dixie. I wanted you. And I want you now. And I wanted you the first night you texted me. And I’ll want you fifty years from today.”
This is a dream. It has to be a dream. I have a couple choices here. One of them is to not believe this is happening. And one of them is to listen to my heart. But then I have to be brave, and I’m not exactly known for stepping out on limbs.
But it’s Leo. If I don’t try, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.
“I noticed you too. When you walked in. I thought you were handsome—hot but broody. Are you always that broody?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know. I’m kind of a grouch, I’m told. But I was extra broody today because my girlfriend dumped me this week.”
I laugh only I think I’m crying a little too. “Your internet girlfriend?”
“Very funny. What do you say we blow this party and go on a real date?”
“Um, it’s my goddaughter’s baby shower. I’m not ditching. Also it’s your goddaughter’s baby shower. So you can’t leave either.”
He shakes his head ruefully. “We share a goddaughter.”
Life is so strange. “Yeah, we do.”
“Why didn’t we meet at the wedding?” he asks.
“
I couldn’t go.”
He picks up my hand, explores it with his fingertips. “We would have been together this whole time then.”
“I don’t think you would have noticed me.”
“I don’t think there is a world where I wouldn’t notice you.” His hands are so big, but he’s so gentle with me. Like I’m made of glass. “What are you doing after?”
“What do you have in mind?”
“House hunting? A trip to Vegas and a jeweler?” I grab the paper bag again. “Fine, fine. Dinner?”
Leo: Are you wearing panties under that skirt?
Dixie: Stop it. We are at a baby shower. Put your phone away.
I NOTICE JIM NOTICING Leo texting me from across the room. He shoots a look at Merrily and she holds up a five-dollar bill.
Most of the people here have some kind of pool going about “Cap” which I guess means me too. I can’t believe this whole time we’ve been so close.
Emma starts to fuss, so I take her and try to calm her so Merrily can finish her cake. I feel Leo’s eyes on me. Thoughts of our texting comes to mind. The many, many times he got me pregnant in our fantasies. The way I would ache for a child that was never coming after we hung up. I smell Emma’s hair and wonder what all this means.
Leo didn’t have to claim me. He could have just been polite when we met in the kitchen. If he really didn’t want to carry on, it would have been easy enough for us to pretend we were meeting for the first time.
But he keeps talking about things like weddings and houses and babies. It’s too soon though, right? We just met. And even if we count the sexting—we’ve still only known each other for a month.
It’s crazy, the way he’s making me feel right now. I’ve spent too long tamping down hope, knowing how hurtful it could be. To want what isn’t in the cards. I can’t just jump into this image of the future he has.
I sense his presence before I hear his voice. “Watching you with a baby is killing me.”
Heat fills me at his low, gravelly tone. “Have you held her?”
“No.” He protests when I put her into his arms and he holds her like she’s a bomb that might go off at any time.
But damn. His thick, rippling muscles gently holding a tiny baby against his broad chest sets off a fireworks show in my ovaries. His body totally matches his voice—rough and masculine. He’s over-the-top hot, but somehow also so safe. Like you know he can do what needs to be done in any situation, but that he would never use his strength the wrong way. He’s in control, yet there is a fierce power banked inside him, always ready.
I want to be claimed by him. Dominated by him.
“You keep looking at me like that, Dixie, and we’re going to have a problem.”
“What kind of problem?”
“The kind where I fuck you against the wall and don’t care who knows I’m doing it.”
I feel the heat creeping across my skin, but it’s nothing compared to the heat in the center of my body. “How am I looking at you?”
“Like you want to be fucked against a wall.”
I chuckle and I take the baby from him gently. “You’re a very bad man.”
“You have no idea. I don’t know what you’ve done to me, but I know exactly what I’m going to do to you.”
“What if I want to slow things down? Go on a few dates?” Is this just a sex thing? Would he put in for more?
He stands behind me, reaching his hand around my waist and pulling me into his erection. His very substantial erection. “Is that what you want? To slow things down?”
I have to remember to hold onto the baby when he kisses me softly where my neck meets my shoulder. “No.”
“I didn’t think so.”
The rest of the shower goes by incredibly slowly. He’s not even trying to mask his hunger when he looks at me. His dark eyes are so possessive, raking over my body in a carnal gaze that makes me blush and makes me so, so wet.
When we can finally leave, he practically drags me out to his truck. “I’m taking you home with me. Is that okay? Is that what you want?”
This is effectively my last out. Am I ready for this? He watches my face very carefully. “Yes, this is what I want.”
“You’re sure.”
“I can’t wait.”
“Thank fuck.”
When he pulls in front of a house on Maple Street, I laugh out loud.
“What?”
“I live three blocks west. We’ve been three blocks away from each other the whole month.”
I expect to see a bemused expression on his face. Instead he looks nearly feral. He’s made a fist on his lap. “I can’t believe I almost lost you. What if we’d never met?”
“But we did.” I cover his hand with mine. “I feel like we were supposed to.”
He’s so tense. “I need you to come into my house with me.”
“Okay. That’s what I want too.”
“I’ve never needed anyone before, Dixie. But I need you. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I whisper. And I do. My doubts are gone as if they were never there. I feel what he wants. It’s more than sex. It’s more than dates. This connection didn’t spring out of nowhere. “You’re telling me this is real.”
“This is real.”
We’re barely into the entryway of his house when he slams the door and pushes my back to it. He presses his huge body into me and I feel the hard ridge of his cock right where I need it. I gasp and squirm. He’s big there too. Of course he is.
His mouth crashes into mine, or maybe mine crashes into his. His lips are hot against mine, his hands gripping my hips and grinding me into the huge bulge of his jeans. He growls when I open my lips and his tongue slips inside, stroking against mine in an ancient rhythm that stokes the fire under my skin. I need to be closer. I need his skin touching mine.
The heat of his body, the sureness of his touch, makes me melt. My hands snake under his shirt and the rippled, hot muscles send a fresh wave of desire to my core. My God. He’s so powerful, so commanding the way he dominates my senses. I’m eager for things I can’t even name but know he’ll give me.
We pull his shirt off and my hands roam his broad chest while his kiss consumes me. Leo unbuttons my shirt and the primitive look of hunger on his face makes me so glad I started wearing lingerie. He traces one finger lightly over the top of my bra cup and I shiver. He sends me a knowing smirk and traces the same path with his tongue.
“Are you going to think less of me if I put out the first time we meet?” I ask.
He pulls the cup below my nipple. “I know your favorite ice cream. The books you love and hate. Other than this week, I talked to you every single day, sometimes for hours. I know things you’ve only ever told me. This isn’t like a first date. And if it were,” he pauses to suckle my nipple, causing my knees to weaken, “I wouldn’t think less of you for having the same desires I do.”
He stops talking and tortures me with hot, wet kisses on my exposed nipple. There is a direct line from my breasts to my pussy, and I grip his head in my hands and hold him there. Right there as sparks fly behind my eyelids.
“The things I am going to do to you, Dixie,” he growls.
It’s a desperate promise and I am here for it.
“Right here, Leo. I want you to take me against the wall like you did the first time.”
“I have a perfectly good bed. I want to spread you out like a picnic on it.”
“Next time. This time, this door is the brick wall in the alley.”
He narrows his eyes like he’s thinking hard and sweeps his fingers over my cheek in an achingly sweet way. “Is that what you need to make it feel real to you?”
I shake my head. “You already feel real to me.”
“I don’t have any condoms in here. I can’t protect you.” His hand lowers and lifts my skirt up my legs. “But that’s what you want, isn’t it? Rough and hot. Raw and primal.” My skirt is bunched up over my hips and he cups me over my underwear. “Do you wan
t me to come inside this sweet pussy or pull out?”
Chapter Five
Leo
HER EYES DILATE WHEN I ask her if she wants me to come inside her. She does. I know she does.
God damn. She’s so smart and sexy, and so very warm where I’m cupping her. Her eyes are fixed on me and every fantasy I’ve ever had pales to the half-dressed woman I’m pressing against the back of my front door.
Jesus, when I fall in love, I guess I fall hard and fast.
I trace the seam of her leg where her sexy as fuck panties meet the silky heaven of her skin. “Baby, we can slow down. Get a condom. Anything you want.”
We’ve had the talk already about past sexual partners—lack of partners on both our parts for quite some time. There is no risk to her from me. I’ll always make sure she’s safe.
But coming inside her would risk something else. Something I don’t know if she’s really ready for despite her fantasies. I don’t want to rush her. I don’t want to rush us.
“I want you to fill me up, Leo.”
I don’t think I have sensation above my waist anymore. My heart is drumming in my cock. I take it back. I do want to rush her and I want to rush us. And fuck, she makes me crazy.
I take her mouth, claiming her as mine. My heart hammers wildly and my fingers dance under the lace. She so wet. For me. She’s mine. And I am hers.
I hope she’s ready for this because it’s just the start of us.
My other hand grips the nape of her neck, and I kiss her deeper, my finger sliding easily through her silky damp folds. She moans into my mouth. I want to consume her.
She rocks her hips into my hand, and I glide my fingers faster, harder, deeper and she shatters so fast I feel like the luckiest man in the world when her grip on me loosens as she comes down from her orgasm.
Beautiful.
“Another,” I say greedily, my voice husky.
She opens her eyes and reaches for my zipper with a sexy as fuck smile on her face. “I want you inside me when I come again.”
I shudder in ecstasy when her hand wraps around my cock. I can’t help but push into her sweet, soft hand.
