Everything I Know about Love I Learned from Romance Novels
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Romance is truthful—in the sense that you don’t lie your pants off, and you don’t pretend to be someone you are not. You should be able to reveal your true self to the person who loves you, and they’ll love you exactly as you are. Romance is knowing that you are loved without any requests or demands for change. To quote Shakespeare (Oh, come on, I had to do it once): “Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds, nor bends with the remover to remove. It is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken.”
ROMANCE MEANS BELIEVING YOU ARE WORTHY OF A HAPPY ENDING—AND WANTING TO GIVE ONE TO SOMEONE ELSE
Everyone deserves happiness, and the knowledge that they are loved and awesome just the way they are. The trick to a happily-ever-after is knowing that the ever-after starts now. Right now. No, really.
May we all be happy, may we all feel the joy of romance, and may we all live happily ever after.
“When our heroines walk away from lying, cheating, abusive relationships, our readers stand up and cheer! When our heroes fail to fall for mean, selfish, manipulative women, our readers applaud! Men and women in real life and in romance novels find themselves trapped in unhealthy, destructive relationships all the time, and when they choose to believe they deserve love, respect, and healthy, enduring relationships, when they reclaim their lives and demand only excellent treatment and a love they can fully trust, life is good.”
—ROBYN CARR
Sources
Bahls, Patrick. “DocTurtle Returns to Finish Lord of Scoundrels.” http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/index.php/weblog/comments/docturtle-returns-to-finish-lord-of-scoundrels/, retrieved 12 November 2010.
Campbell, Anna. Personal interview, 12 October 2010.
Chase, Loretta. Personal interview, 12 November 2010.
Crusie, Jennifer. Personal interview, 15 October 2010.
Donnelly, Denise A., quoted in “When Sex Leaves the Marriage.” New York Times, 3 June 2009. http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/03/when-sex-leaves-the-marriage, retrieved 7 December 2010.
Finlay, Janet, Director of Market Research, Harlequin Enterprises Ltd. Personal interview, 16 November 2010.
Hayes, Donna. Speech at Spring Fling YWCA-NY, New York, New York, 24 June 2010.
James, Eloisa. Personal interview, 13 October 2010.
MacLean, Sarah. Personal interview, 12 November 2010.
Medeiros, Teresa. “A Romantic Hero Wouldn’t Do That.” http://articles.cnn.com/2010-05-31/living/tiger.jesse.romance.heroes_1_romance-hero-romance-writers-true-love?_s=PM:LIVING, retrieved 6 March 2011.
Roberts, Nora. Personal interview, 14 October 2010.
RWA Statistics on Romance Readership. http://www.rwa.org/cs/readership_stats, retrieved 7 June 2011.
Schoenthaler, Robin. “Will he hold your purse?” http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/magazine/articles/2009/10/04/will_he_hold_your_purse/, retrieved 27 November 2010.
Shopping List
The following titles are quoted in this book and appear here in list form, should the excerpts make you want to read more—which they probably do.
Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie (St. Martin’s, 2004)
Caressed by Ice by Nalini Singh (Penguin/Berkley, 2007)
Dark Needs at Night’s Edge by Kresley Cole (Pocket, 2008)
Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas (Avon, 2006)
The Duke and I by Julia Quinn (Avon, 2000)
Heaven and Earth by Nora Roberts (Penguin/Berkley Jove, 2001)
Instant Attraction by Jill Shalvis (Kensington, 2009)
Just One of the Guys by Kristan Higgins (HQN, 2008)
Last Night’s Scandal by Loretta Chase (Avon, 2010)
Lord of Scoundrels by Loretta Chase (Avon, 1995)
Rising Tides by Nora Roberts (Penguin, 1998)
Unveiled by Courtney Milan (Harlequin, 2010)
About the Author
Sarah Wendell, more commonly known as Smart Bitch Sarah, is cofounder and current mastermind of Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, one of the most popular review blogs devoted to the romance genre. She is also coauthor of the book Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels. Sarah is a frequent speaker at national and regional conferences on subjects as diverse as romance cover art, digital reading, and social media promotion and marketing. A former Pittsburgher, Sarah resides in northern New Jersey. Sarah can be found online at smartbitchestrashybooks.com, or at SBSarah.com, or via Twitter at @smartbitches.
Sarah also dreads writing these types of bios, so she asked Twitter for suggestions:
“Sarah leads the mantitty masterclass.”—@tenthmuse
Sarah is not sure how to describe that one in the course catalog.
“Go for brevity: ‘Smart Bitch Sarah is teh awesumest.’”
—@jennybullough
Unfortunately, Sarah is unsure if she can say that with a straight face.
“Sarah always Helps a Bitch Out.”—@cjewel
Sarah tries, and is flattered by the compliment.
“As Inventor of HABO, SW helps readers find books hovering at the edge of their consciousness, making the world a better place.”
—@susanmpls
Sarah believes that the more crazysauce an old romance plot is, the more we all have to reread it!
“Sarah writes the best contest disclaimers ever, and is a supporter of libraries.”—@ksattler
Sarah loves libraries! Void where prohibited!
“Don’t forget to mention your ninja training.”—@jesidres
Yes, yes, of course! Sarah is a ninja. OF LOVE.