Wrong Man

by Aurora, Lexi

  “I guess if you’re ok with being a bit bored. I’m still getting used to the day shift, but Pat is really nice and funny. She has this little bear beanie baby she keeps on our trolley. I think it’s the Irish one. She says it’s in honor of me, since I’m part Irish.”

  “You’re part Irish?”

  “Yeah, like one-sixteenth, I think,” she chuckled. “Why, what are you?”

  “A hundred percent Chinese.”

  “Seriously.”

  “German, English, and American. Don’t ask me the percentages because I have no clue.”

  “It’s weird, isn’t it?” she said. “The more I talk to you, the more I realize how much I don’t know about you.”

  “And want to know,” he said. “Like if you’d come visit me in Vancouver when I go back.”

  She paused, “Whoa, where did that come from?”

  “I don’t know,” he admitted. “You’re not afraid of flying, are you?”

  “I’m afraid of a lot of things,” she said quietly. “Planes not being one of them.”

  “Oh yeah?” he said.

  She sighed, “Do you really want to get into a conversation about what we’re afraid of. Because it’d have to go both ways, then.”

  “Sure,” he said, happily. “I’m afraid of malfunctioning elevators and ticks. You?”

  “You know that’s not what I meant.”

  In the silence, her question dug at him further. When he spoke, it was in a low voice for some reason.

  “Fine, I guess I’m afraid of becoming like my mom and dad; trapped in a life and relationship I hate.”

  “Ok,” she said in a whisper.

  “Thanks,” he said, “But now it’s your turn.”

  “It doesn’t work like that.”

  “No?”

  “You can’t just...” she exhaled forcefully, “...force someone into revealing things.”

  “So you’re afraid of telling me what you’re afraid of,” Grayson quipped.

  Her giggle was sad. “Guess so. That and having my fear keep me from achieving the best life possible.”

  Her sudden revelation was so unexpected that Grayson paused, letting it sink in.

  “You know, I didn’t even realize it until you said it. But I’m afraid of that too.”

  THE NEXT MORNING, GRAYSON still had Annie on his mind. The conversation had all but petered out after their disclosures. And now, only hours later, he missed her. He had half a mind to show up at her work, surprise her so she couldn’t say no to the next few dates he had planned – a movie tonight, and then, sometime later, a weekend in Niagara Falls. Last night hadn’t satisfied his appetite for her, only whetted it.

  Even as he strolled around work, showing a colleague the state of the building, all he could do was wonder what kind of panties he’d find her in tonight. “Yeah, so you see this beam?” But he was thinking of that black mesh, crazy sexy thong she had worn that one time. Maybe she would go for something more practical, like ass-hugging panties? “It could fall at any min–”

  “Oh shit,” he said, as the beam collapsed on his arm and everything went black.

  HE WOKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL with an angel by his bedside. She was wearing blue baggy clothes and had Annie’s face.

  “What...”

  “You were injured at work,” she said. “But you have to rest now. So, rest now.”

  And so, Grayson listened to the Annie-faced angel and let everything return to black.

  THE NEXT TIME HE OPENED his eyes, he was back in his hotel bed. This time, there was no angel by his bedside, just Annie.

  “You’re up,” she said.

  He eyed her, blankly, “How did I get here?”

  She scowled, “Told them it was too soon to discharge you. I helped you back here, but you don’t even remember, do you?”

  “Yeah... no.”

  Maybe she wasn’t an angel, but she sure looked pretty blurry, now that he thought about it.

  “Why is...”

  “Probably the meds they gave you for the pain,” she explained. “They’re pretty strong.”

  “So, I’m high,” Grayson grinned. “Maybe this is the drugs asking, but would you be willing to take one for the team and do the one thing that would make me feel a crazy amount of better?”

  Annie’s headshake was firm, “No.”

  “But–”

  “The doctors said bed rest. Ok? I’m taking time off as it is, but I’m not gonna take the slightest chance of impeding your healing in any way. Even if it would be...” she bit her lip. “... sexually satisfying.”

  “It wouldn’t impede–” Grayson protested, his dick already hardening. “I mean, it’s up here and my dick is down there.”

  Annie shook her head. “All it would take is some slip for either of us and the bone could shatter completely. I’m not taking that risk.”

  Grayson sighed loudly.

  “Do I look like this is open to discussion?” Annie said.

  Grayson sighed, “Ok, Nurse Hitler.”

  She smiled, grimly, “I’ve been called worse.”

  Grayson looked down at his arm. Trying to move it slashed pain up into his shoulder.

  He rose his gaze to Annie, “So how bad is it?”

  Her lips knit together. “Well, your arm is broken in several places. But, with proper bed rest and a cast, it should heal. You should probably take it easy for the rest of today, at least. You’ll be given a prescription for pain medication before you’re discharged.”

  “Alright.” That’s all he’d needed to know. He’d always been afraid of some un-repairable damage, both health-wise and... in other things, too. But he’d heard it from the nurse’s lips himself; his arm should heal without any issues.

  “So then, I guess I can just go back to the way things were in another day or so,” he said.

  “I guess,” she said quietly.

  But that wasn’t it, and they both knew it.

  “About what you said at the bar when we met up the first time...” he said.

  “I don’t know if now’s the time,” Annie said quickly, turning so he couldn’t see her face.

  “It’s never the time,” he said. “You do know that, right? It’s never comfortable being vulnerable.”

  She turned to smile sadly at him. “You really are a whole lot more than I expected.”

  He cracked a grin. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  But his words had alighted something in her, and her gaze grew curious. “So, you’ve really never had a serious relationship in your entire life?”

  “No,” Grayson said, simply.

  There were alarm bells going off in his head, but not for the usual reason.

  “I’d like to think I’ve never met the right person,” he said. “But I think that’s only partially it. If you saw my parents, then you’d lose all hope for the human race, let alone appreciating relationships between men and women.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah. Even the day of the wedding, when they only had an hour to piss each other off, they still managed to fight so much that they didn’t come. Even leaving to stay at a hotel, Mom made a point of calling me up to tell me every single last horrible thing Dad did since I left.” He shook his head, “Guess I’d hoped that, as a teen, I’d been too hard on them.”

  Annie’s hand went to his, “I’m sorry.”

  He nodded, letting his fingertips skate across her knuckles. “Everyone has their shit.”

  Her hand grew stiff and he looked up. “There’s a reason, other than your busyness, that you were a virgin. Wasn’t there?”

  She let out a trapped breath, “Yes.”

  Her face looked so startled and overwrought that Grayson lifted her hand to his lips for a kiss before giving it back to her.

  “It’s ok, you don’t have to tell me about it if you’re not comfortable.”

  As she smiled gratefully, he silently added to himself, “Although, one day, I hope you will be comfortable enough to te
ll me.”

  Later, while Annie was taking a shower, he did a quick Skype session with Kyle.

  “Geez, you leave me for a week and you get injured,” Kyle shook his head, morosely. “Clearly, you need me.”

  Grayson shifted his position, wincing. “Clearly, I need more meds. Shouldn’t you be on your honeymoon in Costa Rica, anyway?”

  Kyle shrugged. “It’s tomorrow.” He paused, as if listening. “Is that water I hear? Do you have a woman in there?” He made a face of mock outrage. “Grayson Malone, you dog you. Another one of your flings, huh?”

  His question jabbed Grayson and hung in the air.

  “Uh, sure,” he said. “Got to go, though. Have fun on your honeymoon.”

  Kyle saluted, “Have fun with your honey.”

  A minute or so later, Annie came out of the bathroom.

  “Enrolling people to sign your cast already?” She was smiling and, with her hair glistening and smelling like cherries, he ached to kiss her.

  “Completely. Already have the Pope and the Queen of England on board.”

  “Why stop at that?” Annie shot him a quizzical look. “When Mother Teresa and Gandhi are up for grabs?”

  “You have a time machine?” he asked. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  They laughed.

  “Actually, it was just Kyle,” he admitted.

  “Makes more sense,” she said, still smiling.

  He was supposed to say something then, but found that he couldn’t. Instead, his mind was revolving around what Kyle had said; the innocuous question – Another one of your flings, huh?

  Maybe it was the blurriness in his thoughts as well as his line of sight, but the more the question revolved, the more he realized something important.

  What was going on with Annie now wasn’t just ‘another one’ of anything. That this, whatever-this-was with Annie; late nights of sex and laughing, even just talking for hours, just for the sake of it; the sheer pleasure of talking to her was utterly unprecedented.

  From an uptight bitch to a fling to... now. What was she now to him?

  “Kyle asked me if it was another one of my flings,” he said.

  “And you laughed and said yes?” she said lightly, fiddling with her wet hair.

  “Yeah,” he said, frowning. “But I don’t think that’s right.”

  The tangled piece of hair dropped out of her hands. This silence was not waiting, but it was tense with inferences.

  “And?” she asked, quietly.

  “And I don’t think you do, either,” he said, growing angry now. “I think we’re both realizing it.”

  She stared at him, speechless, and he wondered when she was going to say something.

  Chapter 17: Annie

  She forced herself to smile.

  “That’s very sweet, Grayson. But, unlike you, I know just how much the meds scramble your brain. So let’s save it for when you’re sober, ok?”

  There was something about his glare, clear and cutting, that almost made her think.

  But then he said, “Of course, Nurse Annie” in a stilted cold voice, and that was that.

  He sat in a stony silence for another few minutes before saying, casually, “You don’t have to stay, you know.”

  She glanced to him, surprised. “But...”

  “I’m a lot better, you said so yourself, this morning. Anyway, think I’d sleep better if I were alone.”

  Was she imagining the sarcastic tone in his voice?

  Still, he was eyeing her expectantly. Annie rose, “Sure, if... you’re sure.”

  He nodded, his face expressionless, “See ya.”

  Outside, Annie’s slumped against the door. Had she just ruined everything?

  THE NEXT FEW DAYS, Grayson didn’t answer her calls or texts. Showing up at his hotel, she’d found that he’d changed rooms.

  Secretly, Annie was relieved. She still didn’t know what she’d say to what he’d said that time. Who was she kidding? That had to be the meds talking, a hundred per cent.

  And yet, what if it hadn’t been?

  The next day, after work, she found him. One step out of Sunnybrook Hospital, and there he was.

  As soon as she saw his face, she knew why he was there.

  Though he said it anyway, “I’m three days sober, and no less sure.” His hard eyes bore into her. “I know how I feel, and I know what I want. It’s you.”

  That flint-eyed gaze allowed no wavering, no pauses. And yet, how was she supposed to know anything when he’d sprung this on her unexpectedly? Not to mention, his whole ‘knowing’. What did it even mean?

  All Annie could do was blurt out, “I don’t know. Ok?”

  “Don’t bullshit me,” his voice was as abrupt as a slap.

  “I’m not bullshitting.”

  “So you take off work to tend to some guy you don’t give a damn about?”

  “I don’t not give a damn about you.”

  “Oh yeah? Then which is it then? You know how you feel about me or you don’t?”

  Annie could only gaze at him dumbly, sadly shaking her head. “I don’t...”

  “Know, yeah, got it,” he said.

  Annie was digging into her palm with her nails, “It’s pretty rich of you, you know. Showing up here like this, saying those things to me completely out of the blue. After you said...”

  “‘We can only do this once. I don’t do relationships’. What, you think I don’t remember my own words? You think I wanted this to happen?”

  Right now, Annie felt like sinking into the ground. She hated him; stupid Grayson with his demanding, pained eyes and snarled mouth.

  “You think I ever expected this?” he continued. “Ever thought that...” he threw his head into a shake. “Forget it.”

  She grasped for his hands. “Grayson, please, I...”

  He wrenched his hands away. “No. You made yourself more than clear.”

  “No, I...”

  “Don’t know, got it.”

  “But I don’t know, ok?”

  The truth was that after all these days, she hadn’t even let herself hope that what he’d said to her in that hotel room had been real. No, she’d been avoiding the question, avoiding the implications. She was avoiding even considering the happy possibility of it. There was no denying the thrill that was brimming inside of her at his words – but there was no denying the tremor it gave her, either.

  “Ok,” he said.

  He nodded, then turned and left, leaving her with tears streaming down her face. As horribly uncertain as always; whether to follow or stay.

  DAYS PASSED IN A BLUR. Avoiding pain was like that. You just worked until all you could do was fall into bed, maybe quickly shovel in some food or guzzle some water down, if there was time. Rinse and repeat.

  Annie should know. She had experience in this.

  Except on the third day, in the break room in the middle of the night, she broke down. Her break was too long. She’d forgotten cookies and she was starving, and, he was gone. Grayson. His project had concluded yesterday, and part of her had hoped he’d show up then, one final goodbye, one last chance. Part of her had hoped he’d show up, not knowing what she’d do if he did.

  Pat found her, crying into her Peach Danone, “Annie, you alright?”

  Annie tried smiling, wiping her eyes and muttering, “PMS.” But Pat wasn’t having it.

  “I’ve never seen you like this. You go home. I can cover. It’s dead during the night shift anyway.”

  When Annie didn’t move, Pat flung her wrist at her. “I mean it. Now shoo, or I’ll have to throw you outta here myself.”

  The older woman’s gap-toothed smile was stern and unflinching. So, smiling a ‘thanks’, Annie left, knowing it was a mistake.

  Back in her empty apartment, she walked past the couch she and Grayson had made love on, past the counter they had made love on, and grabbed some Mint Oreos they had fed each other from the cupboard. Then, she walked up to the top floor.

  The balcon
y was empty, luckily. No pot smokers or students drinking. Just her, the cool impassive night, her Mint Oreos, and those stars. Just like... God, there really was no escaping him, was there? Only a few weeks, and already her life was too intertwined with his to forget him, at least not easily.

  Not like... Jeremy.

  Her whole body shuddered, even as she shoved an Oreo into her mouth and chomped it down. Rarely did she let herself recall her ex’s name, but now that she did, a whole swarm of memories clattered in its wake. The two of them, a first date in the park, a second date in the library. They were so beautifully young and blooming with potential. He didn’t smile a lot, but he smiled more when he was with her.

  He had rings under his green eyes, wind-swept black hair, and the kind of cheekbones models would kill for. He’d said all the nice things to her, until he hadn’t anymore. One night, on her eighteenth birthday, when he was tired of waiting, tired of her being a tease, when he’d drunk the wine they were supposed to share... the incident.

  Annie shook her head angrily. No. She was not going to think of that, she wasn’t going to think of any of it.

  Two more Oreos in her mouth – chomp, chomp, chomp – still wasn’t enough to distract her.

  Not from... Grayson. Grayson, who was as different from her ex, as sun was to moon, and yet, when it came down to it – that was what she feared, wasn’t it?

  Grayson growing curt and demanding like Jeremy had. Even worse, Grayson’s playboy past becoming his playboy present. His kindness shrivelling away into cruelty. Their love becoming... contorted and unrecognizable.

  And yet, staring out into the stars, Annie was beginning to understand. Avoiding the future because of fear from the past was as good as throwing the past into the future. It was as good as reliving those circumstances. If she never took a chance again, never dared to open her heart again, what was the point? Of any of it? Body parts twitching along to some long-forgotten dance, going through the pointless motions? Laughter a trifle too quiet, smile stretched too tight. If she didn’t let herself open up again, what else awaited her?