For Better or Worse

by Jennifer Johnson

  “Mom, tell her,” Brittany squealed.

  “Brittany, I’m not going to let either of you watch TV if you don’t listen. Let me talk to Candy.”

  “Mom wants to talk to you.” Brittany’s voice sounded muffled, but Kelly could still make out the mocking in her tone.

  “Mom,” Candy whined into the phone.

  “Listen, you can go in my room and watch TV.”

  “I don’t want to sit in that old, stuffy wingback chair,” Candy whined.

  “Just cuddle up in my covers.” Kelly brushed a hair from her face. “I’ll be home in just a bit.”

  “Really.” Excitement sounded in Candy’s voice. “I get to get in Mommy’s bed.” Candy’s voice singsonged at Brittany, then the phone clicked off.

  No good-byes. No “Did you have fun, Mom?” Just squabbles. It was the story of her life.

  Harold laughed, and Kelly scowled at him. “Just you wait, Mr. Smith. You get to listen to this all the time, too, in just a few weeks.”

  “I’ll be hiding out in my man room.”

  Kelly chuckled at the room in her house that Harold had started to fix up as his man room. He hadn’t brought his leather recliner and TV over because he hadn’t moved out of his house yet, but she knew they would be finding a home in her house only a few days, or maybe hours, after they returned from their honeymoon.

  As she put her cell phone away, she remembered Zoey’s. “Don’t forget we have to take this to Zoey.” She pulled out her daughter’s phone and accidentally pushed the middle button turning it on. Curiosity crept through Kelly as she noticed her daughter had a new text message. It was from a boy, but Kelly didn’t recognize the name.

  “Would it be bad to check your daughter’s text messages?” She looked at Harold sheepishly.

  “I don’t think so.”

  “I was just being silly asking. Of course I’ll check her messages. It’s my job as her mom to make sure she stays safe.”

  Kelly opened the text and read it. Her mouth fell open and her blood seemed to stop flowing. “Oh no.”

  “What?”

  Kelly could hear the worry in Harold’s tone, but she couldn’t look at him. Her eyes couldn’t seem to leave the phone’s screen. “Oh no.”

  “What is it, Kelly?” Harold tried to reach for the phone, but Kelly held it tight.

  “Get me to that fast-food joint. We’ve got to get there fast.”

  She looked at the time again. According to the message, Harold had about fifteen minutes to get to the hamburger place before Zoey left.

  “What is it?” Harold’s voice pleaded again.

  Kelly looked at her fiancé. Worry etched his expression, and she hated that this wonderful man was being dragged through all the difficulties she was having trying to raise her children. “Tell me, Kelly.”

  She tried to hold her tears back. Harold hadn’t had the blessing of holding the girls as babies, of getting slobbery kisses on the cheek, of seeing them reach huge milestones like using the potty and reciting the ABC’s. Instead he met her when they’re at the stage of arguing, complaining, being selfish, and making poor choices. God, how can I do this to him? Sure, there are rewards with the girls at this stage of life, but it seems to be more about saying no, explaining why I say no, and ending sibling fights.

  “This isn’t fair to you, Harold. I’m like walking chaos.” She turned her body toward him and placed her hand on her chest. “And I don’t like drama. I’ve never liked drama, but now I live with drama every day. Some days I think I’ve gone cuckoo from the overwhelming surge of girl-drama that happens throughout the course of one of my days.”

  Her humor fell flat as she inwardly acknowledged her selfishness at being willing to involve Harold in her life. Dating him had been wonderful, but the closer they got to marriage, the more she realized she was asking too much of him.

  She thought of the Christian counseling sessions they’d had. At their small community church, the pastor required six sessions of counseling for all engaged couples before he’d wed them before God and family. Her and Harold’s sessions had been especially sweet to her because she had been able to hear how Harold felt about taking on a ready-made family of all girls.

  “I don’t know a lot about women.” Harold’s words just a few weeks ago filled Kelly’s mind. “But I know I love this woman.” He’d pointed to Kelly. “And all the Coyle women.” His smile and quick wink had warmed her heart. “I don’t know what it’s like to be a biological father, but when I see one of Kelly’s girls get hurt, I know I want to help them. When I see them smile over something they’re proud of, I feel prouder. When I see a boy looking at them inappropriately, I want to punch him in the face.”

  The last statement brought a smile to her face even now. In the last year, he had proven his love for them. But now with Zoey … Her thought broke and she closed her eyes. What was her oldest child thinking? God, what will it take to bring her back to a right standing with You? How can I help her?

  She’d tried everything every Christian counselor had ever suggested. The girl simply refused to allow herself to heal from her father’s death. She wanted to blame God. And the child was old enough—seventeen and a senior in high school—that all Kelly could do was watch the girl’s emotional upheaval.

  But this I can do something about. Kelly gripped Zoey’s cell phone tighter.

  “Kelly, tell me what’s going on.” Harold’s voice broke her thoughts.

  “She’s meeting a guy after work.”

  Harold nodded. “Okay. That’s not so bad.”

  “No.” Kelly shook her head. “The boy’s intentions for that meeting are written in the text. And she told me she was getting off at eleven, but she’s supposed to meet him at nine thirty.”

  Anger etched on Harold’s features as his foot pressed more firmly against the gas pedal. By all accounts, he looked like a father on a mission to save his little girl. The picture warmed Kelly’s heart but saddened her, as well. She knew Harold loved the girls, even though Zoey especially was at her most difficult. His life had been much simpler before Kelly came along.

  The guilt of it weighed her, and then she thought of the confrontation she and Zoey would no doubt have in just a matter of minutes. She felt older. Tired.

  She didn’t feel like a two-week-away bride. Nor like a woman who had just spent a romantic dinner at one of the nicest places she’d ever been to.

  She felt like an old, weary woman, who was in for yet another “battle of her life.” God, I feel like I’m losing.

  six

  It had been an uphill battle getting to this day, but they’d made it. Harold looked at the calendar on his cell phone. December 28. His wedding day. Battle or no battle, Kelly Coyle—soon-to-be Smith—was worth it.

  Harold buttoned the last button on his white vest. The thing had some kind of pattern on it. He thought the woman had called it paisley. It made him nervous that Kelly hadn’t gone with him to pick it out. He wanted this wedding to be all that Kelly dreamed. At least Cam had gone with him. Kelly’s brother knew more about clothes than Harold did.

  “You don’t look half bad.” His friend, Rudy, walked into the Sunday school room turned men’s dressing room. Walt followed behind Rudy.

  Harold grinned at his friends. The two had surprised him by attending the church’s Christmas service. Walt had even brought his wife and children. They hadn’t talked much about it since, but Harold knew it was a start. And he clung to God’s promise that His Word never comes back void. No matter what, he’d continue to pray for his friends.

  Rudy patted his round belly. “I think I look ten pounds thinner.”

  Normally, the pair reminded Harold of the villains from the movie Home Alone. Seeing them decked out in black tuxes made Harold smile. “I’d say that you two don’t look too shabby.”

  “Maggie thinks I’m hot.” Walt straightened his shoulders then wiggled his eyebrows.

  Harold and Rudy burst out in laughter. Harold nudged the ta
ller man’s shoulder. “It’s good your wife thinks you look good.”

  Cam walked into the room. He clasped his hands together. “Are you ready for this, big brother?”

  Harold felt excitement race through his veins. “Ready to be your big brother? You bet.”

  Kelly looked at her daughters. The girls’ green dresses fit beautifully and complemented the frame and personality of each one. Candy’s deep green silk taffeta dress hinted at the eleven-year-old’s budding shape but still allowed her to look like a girl. Brittany’s knee-length silk spaghetti-strap dress accented her long, slender features in beauty and innocence. And Zoey—as much as Kelly didn’t like the darker hair color, she couldn’t help but admit the mixture of dark hair, light skin, and emerald green made the teenager look stunningly beautiful. The dress they’d chosen for Zoey was fashionable, but still hid the curves of her oldest daughter.

  Kelly shook her head. It was only a few years ago that I didn’t have to worry about their clothes revealing too much. Her mind drifted to the night two weeks before when she and Harold had stopped Zoey from meeting a boy at his house. Kelly purposefully shook the thought away. Today was her wedding day. She wanted to focus on Harold, and the life they’d share together.

  “I have a present for each of you.” Kelly pulled three small boxes from her bag.

  Candy clapped. “Oh, I can’t wait. I love presents.”

  Brittany moved closer, eyeing the boxes, but Zoey stayed across the room from them. Kelly knew she wasn’t thrilled with the wedding, but her oldest had been moping since Christmas Eve, and Kelly wished she’d snap out of it, just for today at least.

  “Each of you is wearing a beautiful dress, individual, as if made especially for you.” Kelly smiled at her girls. She and Tim had made beautiful children, and each of them held such wonderful, unique qualities to place at God’s feet for service. “But I wanted you to have one thing that’s the same. I hope you like them.”

  She handed boxes to Candy and Brittany, then walked over to Zoey and handed the last one to her. At the same time, the girls opened their gifts. Kelly watched as Brittany allowed the slight gold chain to drape her fingertips. The small diamond pendant hung from the chain.

  “It’s so dainty,” Brittany said.

  “So pretty,” Candy added.

  “I’m afraid I’ll break it.” Brittany said. “You know how I am.”

  Kelly laughed. Yes, she knew her middle daughter. The girl would lose her head if it were not attached to her body, and she was just as fortunate her feet were attached as often as she tripped over them. “You’ll be fine. Here, let me put it on you.”

  Amidst thank-yous from her younger girls, Kelly put the necklaces around Brittany’s and then Candy’s neck. She walked toward Zoey to help her with the necklace, but her oldest already had the necklace on. Kelly gazed at her daughters. They were so big, so grown up. The years had gone by too fast. After inhaling a deep breath, she glanced down at the sweatshirt and T-shirt and jeans she still wore. “Okay, one of you go get your grandma. We gotta get my dress on me. She was waiting for me to give you your presents before she came back in here.”

  Candy giggled. “I’ll get her.”

  Kelly walked toward the garment bag protecting her wedding gown. She’d forced herself not to look at it for the past several weeks as she yearned for the day to arrive. She started to unzip the bag, but the zipper stuck. She zipped it back up just a bit to be sure the zipper was lined up right. She unzipped it again; this time a piece of the antique white fabric caught. Kelly gasped. “Oh no.”

  She tried to gently pull the fabric away from the zipper’s teeth, but the metal seemed more determined to bite into her beautiful dress. Anxiety welled within her, and her hands started to shake. “No. No. No.”

  Tears pooled in her eyes as she tried not to tug on the zipper or the fabric too hard.

  “Here, Mom, let me help.” Zoey stood beside her. She nudged Kelly out of the way, then gently and quickly released her dress from captivity.

  Kelly blew out a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Zo-bow.” The nickname she’d called her oldest as a baby slipped from her lips. She grabbed her daughter in a quick hug.

  “Mom, I need to talk to you.”

  Zoey’s voice sounded urgent, but Kelly could only focus on pushing the plastic away from her dress. “Where’s Brittany?”

  “She’s in the bathroom. I need to talk to you alone.”

  “Okay. Go ahead.” With the dress now plastic-free, she allowed her fingers to trace the exquisite beading. She could hardly wait to get into this dress, for Harold to see her in it.

  Kelly’s mom walked through the door. “Let’s get that dress on you. You’re getting married in only half an hour.”

  Excited trepidation raced through her. Even though Kelly felt moments of guilt at allowing Harold to take on her crew of crazy women—well, lately, it had been her trying oldest daughter—still, she could hardly wait to meet Harold in front of that pulpit and say “I do.”

  “I guess I’ll talk to you later.” Zoey’s voice sounded small and for the first time in a long time, a bit unsure.

  Concern inched into Kelly’s gut, but she pushed it away. “We’ll talk during the reception. I promise.”

  Harold tried to inconspicuously hush his groaning stomach as he stood beside the pulpit, waiting for his bride. He had no second thoughts about marrying Kelly, but standing in front of a mass of people, half of whom he didn’t know, in a monkey suit, made his knees quake.

  He never realized their church was so big and could hold so many people.

  The pastor leaned toward him. “You look like a man about to get married.”

  “That bad, huh?” Harold pulled the fancy napkin from his coat pocket and wiped the beading sweat from his forehead.

  The pastor chuckled quietly. “Second thoughts?”

  Harold grimaced. “No. I just don’t feel comfortable in front of all these people.”

  Cam must have overheard, because he nudged Harold’s elbow. “You’re doing fine.”

  The music started, and the church doors opened wide. Harold calmed as the attention of the guests diverted to the back of the church.

  Candy walked ever-so-slowly down the aisle. Her face beamed and she held her shoulders almost too far back. He didn’t know for sure what paternal feelings felt like, but he believed he experienced them for Kelly’s girls. Everything in him wanted to wrap that eleven-year-old in a bear hug and tell her what a pretty young lady she was becoming. He could see she wore the delicate necklace he and Kelly had picked out for each of the girls. Kelly wanted their gift to be special, and he agreed the small necklaces were perfect.

  Brittany walked down the aisle next. So tall and slender, the teen was a combination of model and basketball player. With her hair all knotted up with shiny stuff and flowers and that dark green dress fitting her shape a little too snuggly, if someone asked him, Harold knew he was feeling some paternal feelings because his gaze instantly scanned the room to detect any young guy who might be checking her out.

  Brittany reached Candy at the front of the church, and Harold winked at both of them. Their cheeks were flushed, and he knew they were happy that he and their mom were getting married. He looked forward, and Zoey stood at the doors. If only she could be happy for her mom and me, as well.

  With everything in him, Harold believed one day he and Zoey would be friends. He didn’t know if she’d ever allow him to be a true father figure, but if she did, he’d take the role seriously and do the best he could by her. He couldn’t believe how lovely she looked walking down the aisle toward her sisters. Her dress was every bit as pretty as her sisters and her hair was just as fixed up, but sadness filled her eyes. Harold hated that.

  But she didn’t appear angry. Maybe that was a step up. Harold prayed she hadn’t been hard on Kelly while they were getting ready. Taking in the sweet expressions on the younger girls’ faces and the fact that all three of them were wearing the small diamo
nd necklace, Harold believed their afternoon had gone well.

  Only one more girl to walk down the aisle, and he would see his bride.

  “Here comes my little munchkin,” Cam whispered beside Harold.

  His daughter, Ellie, wore a shiny white dress and held a small basket that was decorated with dark green ribbons and small red flowers. She dropped white and red rose petals on the white carpet. The girl looked like a smaller version of her mother, Cam’s wife.

  Ellie finally took her place beside Zoey, and the church doors were shut again. The music changed, and the congregation stood. Harold had to swallow the knot in his throat. He could hardly wait to see Kelly.

  The doors opened again, and his bride stood in the doorway. Her father stood beside her with her arm tucked into his. Unbidden tears welled in Harold’s eyes. God, what have I ever done to be given such a beautiful woman?

  Her dress was stunning. The church’s dimmed lights semmed to make it glitter. He couldn’t see her face, as a veil covered it. How he longed to see her face!

  What did a man want in a wife? A woman who encouraged him. A woman who respected him. A woman who made him feel like more of a man. And if she was as beautiful as Kelly on top of all that, well …

  Emotion threatened to overcome him. He wasn’t a crying man. He was simple. A forty-year-old bachelor. A heating guy, the plumber. He was happy working with his hands and living alone, until he met Kelly Coyle. Then everything changed.

  Finally, she and her father reached the end of the aisle. It was time for her dad to pull back the veil and give Harold her hand. Her father kissed her cheek; then she looked at Harold. Her eyes glistened with love, and Harold wanted to scoop her up and head out of the church with her. He wiped his palm against his pants before he took her hand in his.

  The pastor began to speak of love and commitment. He read scripture from 1 Corinthians about the meaning of love. “Love is patient, love is kind.” The words had been etched in Harold’s heart years before through Bible study and listening to his pastor. In the last year, Harold had lived those words, not just heard them, not just read them. Now he knew them. And nothing would change his love for Kelly. Nothing.