For Better or Worse

by Jennifer Johnson

  “Harold …”

  “Hmm?” Harold continued to read. When Ananias placed his hands on Saul and spoke to him, scales fell from Saul’s eyes. He immediately got up and was baptized. Saul didn’t waste any time acknowledging God’s prodding. Well, he did spend three days blind, though, didn’t he?

  “What if things changed?”

  Harold looked at Kelly for the first time. What had she been talking to him about? He was trying to read his Bible, trying to unwind from a long day. What was all this concern about him loving her and her loving him? She knew he loved her. She’d been the one going bonkers on him lately. “What are you talking about, Kelly?”

  She twisted a bit of the gown between her hands. “I just need to know that you love me.”

  “Of course I love you.”

  “No matter what.”

  He touched her chin. “No matter what.” He looked back at his Bible.

  “Even if things changed.”

  Harold looked at Kelly and frowned. “Can things change any more then they already have?”

  She nodded. Fear traced her features. Maybe it wasn’t fear, but more like hesitancy. But what could she be hesitant to tell him? He didn’t believe there was a thing in the world Kelly could say that would surprise him. “When you married into my family, I should have warned you that things could always change—a lot.”

  He took her hands into his. “Not my love for you.”

  “That’s good …” Kelly hesitated. She shut her mouth, then opened it again. “’Cause …” She let out a long breath.

  Concern worked its way through Harold’s veins. What would Kelly possibly have to tell him that had her so nervous to just come out and say it? “Kelly?”

  She pulled her hands away from his and covered her eyes. “I’m pregnant.”

  Harold stared at her. The words played once, twice, then a third time through his mind. “Did you say …?”

  She lowered her hands and pouted. “I said I’m pregnant.”

  “You’re pregnant?” Harold felt his eyebrows raise, felt his mouth gape open. Excitement coursed through his body. He would be a father, a biological father, a father to a baby, then a kid, then a teenager. He’d get to go through all the steps and not just take the kid on once he’d gotten too smart for his own good. “You’re pregnant!”

  “I’m sorry.” Kelly frowned and the pout deepened. “I never dreamed we’d have to take precautions. My tubes were tied, and I just can’t—I can’t believe it.”

  “You’re pregnant!” Harold couldn’t stop saying it. He was going to be a daddy. He was going to hold his own son in his arms. They would play catch together, go fishing together, and do all the things dads and sons did together. Never in his wildest imaginations did he ever dream he’d have the opportunity to have his own child. God, what a blessing! What an unbelievable blessing!

  Harold pulled Kelly over to him, wrapping his arms around her. “Oh, Kelly.”

  “I’m sorry, Harold.”

  “Sorry?” Harold raked his fingers through her hair. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so excited.” He released her long enough to cup her cheeks in his hands. “I never thought I’d have my own child.” He pressed his lips against hers. “You’ve given me the best gift.”

  “You’re happy?” Kelly’s voice sounded surprised.

  Harold jumped out of bed. “I’m more than happy. Girls!” he yelled. “Girls!”

  Candy raced into the room. “What?” Brittany and Zoey followed behind her.

  “Harold!” Kelly said. “I didn’t expect you to tell them so quickly.”

  “Why not? It’s the most wonderful news in the world.” He turned toward his stepdaughters. “Your mom is pregnant.”

  Harold’s response had not been what she expected. But his excitement had eased her concerns and allowed her to consider what it would be like to have a baby in the home again—one that she and her husband would raise as their own child.

  Candy and Brittany had been overjoyed, every bit as excited as Harold. Zoey had been more reserved. Kelly admitted the idea of the two of them being pregnant together seemed odd to her, as well. Definitely isn’t something I ever intended to happen.

  The next morning as she drove to the high school, Kelly thought about Harold placing his hands on her still somewhat flat stomach. He’d kissed her beside her belly button. “Good morning, baby.” He patted her stomach, then stood and kissed her lips. “Eat right today. Make sure you don’t let your students stress you out. Sit down every chance you can.”

  Kelly laughed at the memory. Harold would probably drive her crazy for the next several months. Her cell phone rang, and Kelly pulled it out of her purse and answered it. “Hello.”

  “Hey, Kelly.” Sadie’s voice sounded over the line. “I hear you have some big news.”

  “I’m guessing Zoey called you.” Kelly couldn’t help smiling into the phone. Sadie had been a terrific sister-in-law, and Kelly knew she’d been an encouragement to Zoey through the last several months.

  “She did.”

  “Is she upset about me being pregnant, too?” Just saying the words aloud caused Kelly to scrunch her nose. She was relieved with Harold’s excitement at the pregnancy, and she’d begun to allow herself to wrap her mind around being a mother of a newborn again, but it was still strange to be pregnant the same time as her daughter.

  “Not upset,” Sadie said. “Just a little weirded out.”

  Kelly laughed. “I’m a little weirded out, too.”

  “How do you feel about her news? About adoption, I mean.”

  “I was surprised, and I’m not at all opposed to it. I guess I just hadn’t considered—”

  “I just want you to know I never mentioned it to her. She came to Cam and me and asked us if we’d be willing to adopt the baby. We prayed about it for a while before we agreed. I don’t want you to think—”

  “You were trying to steal my grandbaby.” Kelly laughed. “I know that, Sadie. In my heart, I know you and Cam are the best parents for her baby. It just hurts me that she’s going to hurt. If she keeps the baby, she’ll hurt. If she gives the baby to you, she’ll hurt.”

  “You’re absolutely right.”

  Kelly pulled into the school’s parking lot. “Listen, I just pulled into work. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  Kelly clicked her phone off, grabbed her purse and lunch, and walked into the school. She opened her classroom, walked inside, and turned on her computer. Several messages showed in her inbox. She clicked the first one. It was one of her fellow language arts teachers asking her if she was pregnant. The next was from the curriculum teacher asking if there was anything she could do to help Kelly. Kelly didn’t click the next. She shook her head. Boy, word sure travels fast. It’s a good thing I talked to Harold last night. And I’m glad he went ahead and told the girls.

  Kelly walked to the whiteboard and wrote her bell ringer for the day. Ironically, her junior class students were reading The Scarlet Letter. Though there was no sin involved in Kelly being pregnant, it still felt a little weird for her and her daughter to be pregnant at the same time. And Kelly still felt a little old.

  The bell rang, and Kelly mentally prepared herself for the questions that were sure to come from student after student as the day progressed. She walked to her desk to be sure her worksheets were ready for the day. As expected, Logan was the first student in the room.

  “Hey, Mrs. Smith.” Logan dropped his books on the desk and walked toward Kelly.

  “Hi, Logan. How was your three-day weekend?”

  “It was good. My parents made us drive to Pennsylvania to visit my grandparents. Kind of boring, but it was okay.”

  “That’s good.” Kelly arranged the worksheets on her desk in order that she would need them.

  “Can I ask you a question, Mrs. Smith?”

  Oh boy, here it comes. “Sure. Go ahead.”

  “I heard you’re pregnant. Is that true?�
�

  Kelly let out a long breath. “Yep. It’s true.”

  “Cool.” Logan nodded. “My mom’s having a baby next month.”

  “Really?” Kelly peered at Logan. “How old is your mother?” She shook her head. “I mean, it doesn’t matter….”

  “It’s okay. My mom’s forty-three. She said the little guy was a bit of a surprise.”

  “Oh.” Kelly’s mind raced. She felt so old, so awkward having a baby at thirty-eight. Of course, Logan’s mom wasn’t having a baby the same time as her daughter.

  “Yeah. It was a little weird because my older brother’s already married with a kid. So his kid will be older than her uncle.”

  “Really?” Kelly drank in the information. Maybe she and Zoey weren’t such an anomaly after all. The second bell rang and Kelly motioned toward Logan’s seat. “It was nice talking to you, Logan, but we better start class.”

  Kelly walked toward the front of the room. Thanks for that, God. I needed to know that someone else is going through close to the same thing as me. She looked at her class, stopping at Logan. Maybe I should call Logan’s mom today, and tell her how much I enjoy having him in class.

  Harold could hardly wait for the nurse to call them back to the room. He gripped Kelly’s hand in his. He couldn’t wait to find out her due date. Kelly said they might even be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat. Harold had never heard a baby’s heartbeat—well, except Zoey’s baby, but this would be his baby.

  He couldn’t believe the emotions he felt over Kelly’s pregnancy. He wanted to protect her, to make sure she ate properly, rested properly. He didn’t want her to clean the bathrooms for fear the fumes would be too strong. Brittany had complained awhile about it, but he’d held firm that she, he, and Candy would take turns cleaning the bathrooms.

  A young, light-haired woman opened the door leading to the examining rooms. “Kelly Smith.”

  Harold jumped up. He turned to Kelly, grabbed her hand, and helped her up. “Come on, hun.”

  Kelly giggled. “Harold, you’re silly.”

  He nudged her forward, and they followed the woman back to the room where Zoey had her ultrasound. “I don’t know if

  Marge called and told you, but the doctor wants you to have an ultrasound before he sees you.” She looked at Kelly’s chart. “It says here you had your tubes tied five years ago.”

  Kelly nodded, and Harold could feel she’d become nervous. Harold had no idea that an ultrasound would be a bad thing. God, please let our baby be okay.

  The woman smiled. “Don’t worry. It’s just a precaution.” She handed Kelly a half paper, half tissue blanket. “Go ahead and undress from the waist down. The ultrasound technician will be back in a minute.”

  Harold sat in an empty chair, while Kelly slipped out of her skirt and placed the blanket over her waist. He studied his wife. “Do you feel okay?”

  “Yes, Harold. I’m sure everything is fine.”

  He could tell by the lilt in her voice that she was nervous. “You’ve never had an ultrasound this early before, have you?”

  She shook her head.

  Harold moved his chair closer to her. “Talk to me, Kelly. Be honest with me. You’re scared.”

  She sighed. “I am scared. I’m older. I’m more tired than I’ve ever been.”

  “Is that normal?”

  Kelly shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably.”

  The nurse-technician-whatever she was called walked into the room. “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. How’s Zoey doing?”

  “Fine.” Kelly’s voice sounded weak. “It’s a little funny to have me in here now, huh?”

  “Don’t worry about that.” The woman patted Kelly’s leg. “Babies are blessings.”

  Harold listened as the woman explained this ultrasound would be different than Zoey’s because Kelly was so early in the pregnancy, but she assured them everything would be all right. Harold watched his wife for any signs of pain, but she seemed fine and he simply squeezed her hand to show her that he was supporting her.

  Once again, the blank screen came alive with various shades of blacks and grays. Their baby didn’t look the same as Zoey’s had. Zoey’s baby looked like a real baby, one a guy could hold. His baby’s head was a lot bigger than the rest of his body. His arms and legs were there, but they seemed so scrawny.

  Just as she had with Zoey, the technician clicked several places of the baby’s image, measuring the head, the arms, the legs.

  “Well, what do we have here?” the woman said.

  “What?” Harold leaned closer to the screen. He couldn’t see anything. He didn’t know what he was looking for. He glanced at Kelly. She appeared confused and worried. He gently kissed her forehead.

  “Hang on. Just a sec.”

  The woman moved the ultrasound instrument a little bit, and Kelly winced.

  “What are you doing?” Harold demanded. He knew he sounded fiercer then he should, but the woman needed to spit out what was going on.

  “Hang on.” She touched Kelly’s leg. “I know this is a bit uncomfortable, but I think—yep, there it is.” She pointed to the screen. “Looky there.”

  “What?” Harold peered at the screen. He didn’t know what he was looking at. Another round circle in Kelly’s stomach. What was that? What was wrong?

  Kelly gasped. “You’re kidding.”

  The technician giggled. “Not kidding, Mrs. Smith. Do you know what that is?”

  “What?” Harold wanted to scream at the two of them. What was wrong with his wife?

  “Harold.” Kelly grabbed his jaw and tugged at his face until he gazed into her eyes. Tears pooled in them once again, and Harold felt mad with anxiety.

  “What is it, Kelly?”

  “We’re having twins.”

  “Twins!” Harold jumped out of his seat. “Two babies.”

  The technician looked at the screen. She started pushing buttons again, measuring the head, arms, and legs of his second child.

  “Kelly!” Harold leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Two babies.”

  Tears streamed down her cheeks. “Harold, what will we do with two babies?” This time it wasn’t fear that sounded in her voice. A slight giggle sounded behind her words.

  “We’re going to love them.” Harold pumped his fist. “I’m having two babies. Two boys.”

  “Or girls,” Kelly said.

  Harold leaned toward the screen again. “Can you tell that yet?” The technician laughed. “Not yet.”

  Harold gazed back at his wife. “Two babies, Kelly! We’re having two babies!” He kissed her forehead, her nose, then finally her lips.

  “Ahem.” The technician cleared her throat.

  Harold looked over at her, and the woman smiled. He gazed back at Kelly. “You’ve made me the happiest man alive.”

  Kelly laughed. “You say that until we’re waist high in stinky diapers and dirty bottles.”

  “I’ll say it then, too. I love you, Kelly Smith.”

  “I love you, too, Harold.”

  epilogue

  Kelly gazed around the room at the collection of family members who’d come to celebrate her day. It was like déjà vu. Her parents, in their midsixties, still looked young and lively—and very much in love. Her father gazed at his wife and winked as he ran his hand through his salt-and-pepper hair, his striking blue eyes sparkling. She gave him a sweet smile in return. Despite battling arthritis, Kelly’s mother wore her hair and makeup with perfection, and the spry woman was still as stylish and trendy as a woman in her thirties.

  One year ago Kelly wasn’t even engaged to Harold. Now, she was married—she twisted in her seat—pregnant, and about to pop, and her grandson sat nestled in her daughter’s lap. Though Cam and Sadie were little Micah’s legal mom and dad, when they visited they always allowed Zoey to take care of him. Soon, Kelly’s oldest daughter would be living in Wilmington and going to college there.

  The babies within her womb seemed to fight more fervently for space, and Kell
y was anxious for the month to pass so that she could nestle her new children.

  Harold and the girls had finished the babies’ room just a week before. He’d been so protective that the only thing he allowed Kelly to do was pick out a theme. He wouldn’t let her paint, hang curtains, nothing. She got to watch. She didn’t complain. Carrying twins at thirty-eight, now thirty-nine, had not been the same as carrying a single child at the ages of twenty, twenty-two, and twenty-six.

  Harold walked out of the kitchen. He placed his hands over Kelly’s belly. “How are my guys doing?”

  Kelly chuckled. “You do realize they could be girls.”

  Harold shrugged. “Okay, or girls.”

  “Do you wish we’d found out the sex of the babies?”

  Harold kissed the top of her head. “Nah. I don’t care either way.”

  “Is that why you put up a train set in their room?” “Girls can like trains, too.”

  Kelly shook her head. She shuffled in her seat again. “These kiddos are killing me today.”

  Concern traced Harold’s features, and Kelly noted the light gray wisps of hair he’d gotten in the year since they married. “You need to lie down?”

  “No, I’ll be fine.”

  Before Harold could say anything else, Brittany and Candy walked out of the kitchen holding Kelly’s cake. The entire top of the pastry seemed to be on fire, and Kelly wondered how a woman her age would ever keep up with two active babies. I’ll be leaning on You big-time, Lord.

  This year she’d had a lot of practice at putting her full faith in her heavenly Father. It had been a time fraught with trials of every kind. She looked around the room at the family God had given her. Her gaze rested on her sweet husband. God had also filled her life with more blessings then Kelly could count.

  “Time to blow out your candles,” Candy said.

  Kelly pushed her way to a standing position. “Happy birthday to you …” echoed through her home, and Kelly sang along with the family. Once the song was finished, Kelly closed her eyes, made a wish, then blew out the candles.