Saying Goodbye, Part One (Passports and Promises Book 1)

by Abigail Drake

  I saw Max walk through the library and excused myself. Hana, hard at work, just waved me off. I caught up with him and grabbed the sleeve of his jacket to stop him. He turned, and as soon as he saw me his eyes grew shuttered.

  “Can we talk a second?” I asked.

  He shrugged and we went off to sit at a table in the corner. He heaved his backpack onto the table and took off his jacket, hanging it on the back of his chair. When he sat down, he leaned back, rocking on the back two legs of the chair.

  “What do you want, Sam?”

  I slid into the seat across from him, my hands folded in front of me. “I wanted to apologize. For my birthday.”

  “Which part?”

  My cheeks grew hot, and Max laughed. “Oh. That part.”

  “I’m sorry, Max. I shouldn’t have done that.

  He looked around the library, at the books and students and even at the traffic outside on the street. Anything to avoid looking at me. The library was open and airy, with tall ceilings and windows that stretched two stories high.

  “You don’t have to apologize. You made it clear it didn’t mean anything to you.”

  I blinked in surprise and leaned forward on the table. “Why would you say that?”

  Max leaned forward, too. Only inches separated us, and he spoke in an angry hiss. “Because five seconds later, you were making out with Dylan.”

  “He’s my boyfriend.”

  “What am I?”

  I rubbed my eyes. “I don’t know. My ex-boyfriend. One of my best friends. You’re a lot of things to me.”

  His shoulders slumped. “I’m also your boyfriend’s fraternity brother. We can’t forget that one.”

  He looked so sad I wanted to reach out to him. Instead, I put my hands under my legs and sat on them. I didn’t want to touch Max. Not even by accident. We’d already played with fire once. I couldn’t do it again.

  “Did your parents come up for your birthday?”

  I nodded. “Sophie was mad because she didn’t get to see you.”

  “Now that would have been interesting,” he said with a laugh.

  “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

  He sighed. “I know. It’s not your fault.”

  “It’s not your fault either.”

  “Yes, it is,” he said and I looked up at him in surprise. When he spoke, his voice was barely a whisper. “I didn’t plan on it happening, but I wanted it to happen. That kiss meant something to me, Sam, and so do you. To say otherwise would be a total lie.”

  He stared at me, his brown eyes sad, waiting for me to respond, but I couldn’t. I stood up and went back to my desk, then I tried to study with Hana, but I couldn’t focus. Max’s words had shaken me up more than I cared to admit. He told me the truth, and it made me see I’d been lying to myself the whole time.

  That kiss hadn’t been an accident. I didn’t know when or how things changed between us, but I’d wanted it. I wanted him. The problem was, I wanted Dylan, too.

  I got through midterms, doing better than expected. I think part of it had to do with the strict “No Dylan” policy I’d instituted for the week. He hadn’t been happy about it, but he distracted me, and I needed to focus during midterms. He called every day, and we texted quite a bit, but I didn’t see him until midterms were over and the time came for the Theta formal.

  My dress was gorgeous. Strapless and gold, it flared out just below my hips and floated all the way down to my red painted toes sticking out of my high-heeled shoes. I piled my hair up on top of my hair and let a few strands fall down in a cascade of curls. I put on lotion that smelled like honeysuckle and added a glimmer of sparkle to my skin. I spent a lot of time on my makeup, something I usually didn’t do, and completed the look with an intricate gold choker necklace and dangly earrings.

  “You look like a movie star,” said Gabriela. She and Bethany had come to the Theta house to get ready. The entire place was filled with excitement and the sounds of laughter.

  “You look beautiful yourself.” I touched the beading on her amethyst dress. “This is gorgeous.”

  “It was my prom dress.” She gave me an embarrassed little smile. “Reuse and recycle.”

  “Why not? It’s so pretty. If I were you, I’d want to wear it over and over again.”

  She spun around, letting the skirt flutter around her ankles. “I do love it.”

  Bethany’s dress, a bright blue that matched her eyes, emphasized her curves while still being classy and elegant. Bethany was always classy and elegant. She’d pulled her blond hair into a chignon at the nape of her neck and wore silver jewelry that sparkled as she moved and looked antique. I held up her hand to study the bracelet on her wrist.

  “This is amazing.”

  “It was my great grandmother’s,” she said. “My grandmother gave me some of her jewelry when I turned eighteen.”

  Bethany came from an extremely wealthy family, but she was not a snob. After being at school for a year and a half, I’d learned to recognize the difference between old and new money. People with old money didn’t feel like they had anything to prove, so they didn’t flaunt their wealth. Bethany and Dylan both fell into that category, as did Greg. Max’s family was wealthy, too, but definitely new money. Although he’d never worried about money a day in his life, he wasn’t one of the trust fund babies. Limo rides and luxury hotels were still exciting for him.

  My parents were solidly middle class. We had nothing to flaunt. Gabriela’s parents hovered just below that, in an area reserved for the hardworking poor. Even though she went to school for free, and had a scholarship from Kappa Alpha Theta that covered her sorority dues, sometimes it was hard for her since her classes were often filled with the children of very wealthy people. Her clothes were always nice, but she shopped at thrift shops and consignment stores. And when the other students planned ski trips to Vale and spring break vacations in Florida, Gabriela always gently backed out of the conversation. Even without buying a dress, the formal was a huge expense for her. She’d been saving up pennies from her part-time job just to cover the cost of the tickets.

  The formal would be held at The Winston, the fanciest hotel in town. Greg’s parents reserved a suite for us, so we’d all stay over together. It sounded like fun; I just wasn’t sure how it would be having both Dylan and Max around me the whole night. I was a bundle of nerves by the time the limo pulled up outside. Max emerged from the sunroof, a bottle of champagne in hand, singing at the top of his lungs and waving to Gabriela in the window. She giggled and waved back.

  We made a grand entrance, walking down the steps one girl at a time. The guys, very dapper in their tuxedos, waited for us at the bottom. I went first, and Dylan’s weren’t the only eyes on me, but I refused to look at Max. Dylan handed me a bouquet of flowers.

  “You look amazing,” he said as he kissed me softly on the cheek. He leaned closer to whisper in my ear, “And I missed you. A lot.”

  I smiled, sticking my nose in the roses to hide my embarrassment. I missed him, too, but this was so awkward.

  Bethany came down the steps next and Greg swung her around and then dipped her backward and pretended to kiss her neck. They’d known each other forever. It showed.

  Gabriela hovered at the top of the steps, nervous and pale. Max moved forward and held out his hand to her. She gave him a shy little smile and walked down to join us. I looked at Bethany and we both heaved a huge sigh of relief. I’d been secretly afraid Gabriela might back out at the last minute. Apparently, Bethany had been worried, too.

  We piled into the limo, and Greg poured each of us a glass of champagne. It was obvious the guys had started drinking a while ago. Dylan’s eyes were already slightly glazed and he was extremely giggly. He took his glass of champagne and drained it quickly, holding it out for more. Greg grinned and happily complied.

  “We’ve got the old Dylan back,” he said, and they clinked glasses.

  When Dylan drained another glass, I nudged him with my elbow
. “Slow down,” I whispered.

  He stiffened and a shadow of annoyance crossed his face. “What is your problem, Sam? I’m just having fun.”

  Everyone in the limousine grew silent. I swallowed hard. Bethany saved me. “Look. There’s the hotel.”

  We pulled up in front of The Winston and a valet opened the door for us. Dylan took my hand to help me out. I couldn’t quite meet his eyes. He pulled me close.

  “Sorry, Sam. That came out harsher than I intended.”

  “It’s okay,” I said, even though it wasn’t.

  He grinned at me. “I can’t wait to see our room. Tonight is going to be so much fun.”

  The doorman wore a top hat and tails, and a porter rushed over to the limo to take our bags. I’d been in The Winston a few times, but never stayed there. We walked into the lobby and I marveled at the Art Deco perfection of the Winston. Dark marble, elegant gold touches, and beautiful murals. The hotel was an absolute treasure.

  In the elevator, Dylan pulled me close and kissed the top of my head. When his hand slid down to cup my bottom, my gaze shot up to him in surprise, but he wasn’t looking at me. He watched Max carefully, as if trying to gauge his reaction.

  I made an attempt to pull away, but there wasn’t much room in the elevator. Everyone else seemed oblivious, but I knew Max was very aware of what was going on. Two spots of color bloomed on his cheeks. He tried very hard not to look at us, but his eyes met mine as I exited the elevator, jumping out first to get away from Dylan and his show of territorialism.

  Max seemed disgusted with me. I couldn’t blame him. I was a little disgusted with myself.

  The suite, airy and gorgeous, consisted of three bedrooms, three bathrooms, a living room, and a bar. Greg tipped the porter, and he deposited the bags in our rooms. Greg and Max shared a room with two single beds, and Gabriela and Bethany would share the other, which meant Dylan and I were together.

  I’d been looking forward to the formal for weeks, but now it felt distasteful to share a bed with Dylan when Max slept in the next room. Dylan had no such qualms. He came up behind me as I stood in the doorway, wrapped his arms around my waist, and whispered in my ear, “I can’t wait to get you in that bed, Sam”

  I shivered, but not from desire. His breath smelled strongly of whisky and I detected a note of pot coming from his skin. It may have been because of time he’d spent in Max’s room, which always smelled like pot, but I had a feeling Dylan was high as well as a little buzzed.

  I turned around and forced a smile onto my face. “It’s a beautiful room. I need to thank Greg.”

  I tried to step away, but Dylan grabbed my arm. “He used his dad’s hotel miles. It’s no biggie. I thanked him already.”

  “I really should thank him, too.”

  He took a flask out of the inside pocket of his jacket and offered it to me. “Have a sip first.”

  I shook my head. “I’ll wait for dinner.”

  Dylan wanted me to stay in the room, but I pulled away and slipped past him through the door. He took a long drink from the flask, watching me the whole time.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  The tables were decorated with fine linens and the plates tipped with gold, but instead of enjoying the evening, I watched Dylan with a wary eye. He’d had more to drink than I thought possible, but still didn’t seem as intoxicated as he should.

  “They water these down.” He shook his head in irritation and held up his glass for more. The waiter attempted to ignore him, but couldn’t when Dylan began waving his arms. The waiter didn’t have much of a choice. He brought Dylan another drink, his face grim. After he left, I glared at Dylan.

  “What?” he asked; his expression hardening.

  I leaned forward so I could speak softly. “When did you start drinking so much?”

  He lifted a single, dark, arrogant eyebrow. “When did you turn into such a fucking bore?”

  I blinked, feeling like I’d just been slapped. Everyone at the table knew we were in the middle of a fight, the atmosphere tense and uncomfortable. The band started playing, and Greg bent his blond head close to Bethany’s. She nodded and they got up to dance. Max stood and offered his hand to Gabriela. She took it and they left as well. Dylan and I were the only ones remaining at the table, and I was dangerously close to tears. I felt like I sat next to a stranger. Dylan put down his napkin and straightened his jacket.

  “It looks like we just scared everyone else away.”

  “You scared them away, Dylan. Not me.”

  He tilted his head to one side, trying to get me to glance up at him. I kept my gaze on the plate of half eaten food in front of me. He let out a long frustrated sigh.

  “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

  My lip started to quiver and he swore, putting his hands on my shoulders and turning me to face him. “Please don’t cry, Sam. I can’t take it if you cry.”

  “Why are you acting like this?”

  I took a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears, but a single tear escaped and fell over my lashes. Dylan caught it on his finger as it made its way down my cheek.

  “Because I’m a jerk and an idiot and I don’t deserve a girl like you.” I looked up at him in surprise, and he continued. “I was jealous. I knew Max would be here, and it made me uncomfortable.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Really?”

  I nodded. “He’s my ex. It’s kind of weird.”

  He took my hands in his. “I’m glad you said that. I’ve been a ball of nerves. Drinking helps me chill.”

  I touched his cheek with my hand. “Just don’t drink too much, okay?”

  He kissed me softly on the cheek. “Anything for you, Sam.”

  Mary Grace took the podium, and welcomed everyone to the formal. Then she announced the new class of potential Thetas and the girls stood in a row: bright, shiny, full of promise. Each of them held a single white rose in their hands.

  “Each of these ladies has chosen a Big Sister, someone they admire. Someone to guide them through the next four years, protect them, lead them on the Theta path. This is not a relationship to be taken lightly. It’s a lifelong bond. If someone calls out your name, think long and hard about whether or not you should accept. If you can’t commit yourself one hundred percent, it’s better to give the honor to someone else.”

  The girls came to the microphone, introduced themselves, and then said the name of the Theta they had chosen as their Big Sister. When it was Emma’s turn, she looked straight at me.

  “Samantha Barnes.”

  Everyone clapped as I walked up to the front of the room and hugged Emma. “Thank you,” I said.

  “Do you accept?”

  “Of course, I do.”

  She handed me the rose, and for the first time tonight, something had gone right. I’d always wanted to be a Big Sister, and I adored Emma.

  The music began again, and I took my seat next to Dylan. An empty glass sat next to him. He’d drained yet another drink, but seemed okay. He leaned forward and touched his lips to mine, once, twice, three times.

  “Congratulations, Sam. You’re a Big Sis.”

  “I’m excited. I really like her.”

  “And I really like you. Dance with me.”

  The band played a slow dance and I swayed in his arms. The lights were low, his arms strong and warm, and friends surrounded us. For just a moment, everything felt back to normal. Then the music picked up, and Dylan started drinking again. As the evening progressed, he got wilder, screaming out the lyrics to the songs. At first, we laughed and danced with him, but soon it felt like too much. Maybe I was way too sober, and maybe I was a bore, but the crazier he got, the more uncomfortable I became.

  “What’s up with Dylan?” asked Bethany as we trundled off to the restroom together.

  “I have no idea.”

  We heard him screaming even from the bathroom. Gabriela paused as she applied her lipstick.

  “I guess he’s having fun,” she said, and a worried fro
wn puckered her brows.

  Dylan was ruining the night for everyone. I left the bathroom and marched over to him, planning to tell him to stop acting like a fool, but froze when I saw Mary Grace come onto the dance floor with Zach McGaffrey. I turned around to warn Gabriela, but it was too late. She saw him and came to a dead stop, all the color draining from her face.

  Any hope I’d had that they could just ignore each other disappeared when Zach looked right at Gabriela and then leaned forward to whisper something in Mary Grace’s ear, a nasty grin on his face. Gabriela took a step backward and stumbled. Thankfully, Bethany steadied her or she might have fallen. The expression in her eyes was more than I could bear.

  I didn’t have a plan. I ran on pure adrenaline mixed with a healthy dose of righteous indignation. I walked up to Zach and slapped him across the face.

  “Get out.”

  He lunged toward me, but Greg appeared out of nowhere and held him back. Mary Grace’s mouth opened in shock.

  “What is going on, Samantha?”

  I pulled her aside. Greg whispered furiously in Zach’s ear, trying to calm him down. My palm print blazed on his face, the bright red outline of my hand glowing on his pale, freckled cheek.

  “You need to stay away from him.”

  Her big blue eyes widened in surprise. “Why?”

  I leaned close to her and stared straight into her eyes. I didn’t want to risk anyone else hearing what I had to say.

  “The night we sent out the first round of bids, he drugged Gabriela and raped her. He drugged Bethany, too, but Max kept her safe. I won’t let him come near Gabriela or Bethany ever again, and I can’t let him hurt you, either.”

  I watched as a myriad of emotions flashed across her face. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

  “It wasn’t my story to tell. It was Gabriela’s. I’m only telling you now because I’m afraid and I want him gone.”

  “What should I do?”

  Our dilemma was solved when Max walked up to Zach. “I think you need to go, McGaffrey.”

  The entire room went silent, watching as Zach’s face turned an unhealthy shade of red. “I’m a guest, just like you, Max. Maybe you should leave, and take the trash out with you.”