Pet Noir

by Pati Nagle

  ~

  The sound of kibble hitting my dish brought me wide awake. I looked up at Devin, who was standing by the counter grinning at me.

  “First time I’ve been up ahead of you. Rough night?”

  I got out of bed, yawned and stretched, then hopped onto a chair to get to the counter. “Busy night, you could say.”

  I’d been dreaming of romping in the park with Leila. Still half asleep and my stomach was rumbling. I wasn’t in the mood to chat.

  I started crunching kibble while Devin pulled on some clothes and stuffed laundry into the wash drawer. He hit the start button and a churning sound began.

  “Time to go,” he said.

  “What’s the hurry? We got an assignment?”

  “No, but I don’t want to be late. Evaluation’s coming up next week.”

  “Mm.”

  I snarfed up the last bits of kibble and crunched them while we headed for work. The lift was full of other commuters, more than usual (we rarely left this early), and to avoid getting stepped on I let Devin pick me up.

  As usual this was an icebreaker with the human females, who liked to pet and coo at me. I purred for the one Devin seemed most interested in. Least I could do.

  In the office I took up my usual place at Sheila’s desk and started surfing the station security database. The file on the creep’s apartment listed occupants Luther Hoyden and wife, which pissed me off. Not only was he harassing Elsa Grippe, he was doing it in an attempt to cheat on his wife.

  Don’t get me wrong, I think humans’ ideas of fidelity and all that are pretty strange, but I’ve seen how people’s feelings get hurt. If a human male is idiot enough to make a promise of monogamy, he should stick to it.

  Hoyden’s employer was listed as Megalink, same as Elsa’s. I surfed over to the company’s public site and searched for his name, then let out the modulated hiss which was as close as I get to a whistle.

  Devin looked up. “What’re you doing over there?”

  “Trying to help out a friend,” I said, which was more or less true. I wanted to be Leila’s friend, anyway. The helping out part had just gotten harder—Luther Hoyden was the president of Megalink’s Gamma Station operations.

  Not good. Not, not good. This guy had a lot of power. It made his hassling Elsa Grippe all the worse, because probably he was threatening her with losing her job if she didn’t cooperate with him. If he hadn’t done it yet, he would.

  “Hey, flat-ears,” said Devin, “what’re you looking so pissed about?”

  “My friend’s problem is worse than I thought. Com station, access Security violation files, search Hoyden, Luther.”

  Devin came over to look over my shoulder. “What friend is this?”

  “Someone I met in the park.”

  “Animal or human?”

  “Humans are animals, Devin.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Feline, but it’s her human who’s got problems.”

  “‘Her?’ Ohoho! Are we maturing into an interest in the opposite sex?”

  “Stuff it in your ear, Devin.”

  I leaned forward to scan the Security file on Luther Hoyden. He had a couple of drunk and disorderlies, and one domestic complaint filed by the missus, subsequently dropped. Not much, but it might give me some leverage.

  I’d have to figure out how to get the information into Elsa’s hands, and pray that she’d use it. Threatening to raise a public fuss about his misbehavior might get him off her back.

  “He doesn’t look like a cat person,” Devin mused, watching Hoyden’s head rotate over the holopad.

  “He isn’t. He’s the problem.”

  “Head of Megalink? You don’t pick the easy ones, do you?”

  I turned to look at Devin, speculating on whether he’d be of use. “Remember the accountant with the legs?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “This guy’s her boss. He’s harassing her to have sex with him.”

  Devin’s eyebrows went up. “Why hasn’t she filed a complaint?”

  “Good question. Maybe you could ask her.”

  “Oh, uh-huh. ‘Why haven’t you ratted on your boss?’ Good ice-breaker.”

  “I didn’t think you’d want to help. Com station off.”

  I hopped down to the floor and started for the door. Stopped myself just in time from jumping for the access pad, deciding to keep that trick to myself for now.

  “Would you let me out, please?” I said.

  “Where you headed?”

  “To try to find out more about this creep.”

  “What’re you going to do, waltz into Megalink?”

  “It’s a start. Door please?”

  “Hang on. You can’t talk to anyone, you know.”

  I gave him the look I reserved for dogs and other idiots. He knew perfectly well that my specialty was covert observation. I could check out where Elsa worked, see if she had any coworkers who might be of help, see if the boss hassled her in the office. Despite my increasing size, I was pretty good at being invisible. No one cared much about a cat wandering around, even in the oddest places.

  Devin got up and walked over to the door. “OK, but stay out of trouble.”

  “Always my intention.”

  He thumbed the access pad and the door slid open. I glanced out to make sure no one was in the hall to overhear.

  “Practice your ice-breakers,” I said over my shoulder, “and let’s go for a walk in the park after work. Maybe we’ll get lucky.”

  ~

  Megalink had a swanky front reception area concealing a vast wasteland of cramped cubicles, your typical on-station business setup. A long corridor led past the cubicles to the outer edge of the suite, where the bigwigs would have starview offices. Daunted by the thought of searching the cubicles for Elsa, I decided to check out the creep’s office first.

  Lots of busyness in cubicle land. Lots of chatter and hurrying back and forth. I had to look sharp to avoid getting kicked a couple of times. The people all looked worried.

  Toward the outer end of the office the cubicles got a little bigger, then the corridor passed into an enclosed space that was suddenly plush. The carpet under my feet became softer and cushier. Lighting was more subdued, and walls paneled in real wood gave subtle emphasis to the fact that Megalink was a profitable operation.

  I came to a “T” intersection and turned right, found a conference room and a couple of upscale offices, but not the big boss’s. Went back the other way, expecting to find Hoyden’s office at the end of the hall on the starview side. I checked out the other offices and executive lunchroom as I passed. All very swank. I glanced in the second-to-last starview office and stopped short.

  Elsa was sitting at the desk, looking stylish if a little too businesslike in a navy jacket and skirt over a white silk blouse. She wore pearls, even. She made them look great. The only thing that was missing was the smile.

  The sign on her desk read “Elsa Grippe, Chief Financial Officer.” Not just any accountant, then. The office showed her status. It was huge, with room for not only her large desk but also a cushy leather couch and chairs in a little sitting area, all overlooking a three-meter starview wall.

  I hung back from the doorway, thinking it would probably be better if she didn’t notice me. She had her starview wall blacked out and sat leafing through a stack of papers, pausing now and then to initial one or to bring up some data on her com. She frowned the whole time, and once when there was a sound from the neighboring office she looked up with a frightened glance.

  Reminded of Hoyden’s proximity, I slunk down the hall to check in on him. His office was twice the size of Elsa’s very luxurious one, and was filled with expensive power symbols: trendy ugly art, giant wall screen monitoring a dozen different feeds, titanium martini shaker set sitting on the wet bar behind his desk. The starview wall was five meters long, a not-so-subtle statement of wealth.

  Hoyden lounged in a plush leather chair at his desk, yakking with someon
e on a privacy com channel. The white noise it generated, designed to conceal voices from the human hearing range, made it harder but not impossible for me to make out what he was saying. After a minute I realized he was making an obscene call.

  I left and went back to watching Elsa, hiding beside the frame of her open door. Any time there was a sound nearby she glanced up. She seemed nervous. Maybe it was just because of Hoyden being so close, but I wasn’t sure.

  I heard hushed footsteps and looked up to see a guy in a business clingsuit bearing down on me. He had a coffee mug with the Megalink logo on it in one hand, and when he caught sight of me he broke into a goofy grin. Not wanting him to blow my cover to Elsa, I darted away and ducked into the executive coffee room.

  He followed me in. I hid under the table. He made a few kootchy-kootchy noises at me, then gave up and got himself coffee. I stayed where I was, and a minute later Elsa came in.

  “Morning, Ms Grippe,” the guy said.

  “Good morning, Richard. How’s the Arugula install coming?”

  “Oh, it’s—coming. Heh, heh.”

  The guy beat a hasty retreat. I heard Elsa sigh as she got herself coffee. When she left I followed and darted into her office on her heels. Good thing, because she closed the door.

  I took up a station behind her wastebasket. I couldn’t see her face from there, but I could see what she was doing on the com. She went through a few more papers, then set the stack aside.

  She sat absolutely still for a minute. I held my breath. She seemed to be listening, or maybe psyching herself up for something. Finally she opened the lower drawer of her desk, took out a flash pad, and started making notes.

  I couldn’t see the pad but I could see the stuff she brought up on her com. It was business stuff, installation reports from all over the sector interspersed with complaint records. She copied several of these into the flashpad, then switched to lists of numbers. The meaning of these was beyond me, though from the dollar signs I could tell it was financial stuff. She copied some of that into the flashpad too.

  A creaking sound from next door made her jump and hastily stash the pad back in the drawer. Hoyden’s chair, I deduced, and a second later heavy footsteps in the hall proved me right.

  Elsa brought up some different files on the com and went back to her papers. Her hands shook a little as she leafed through them. A knock on the door preceded Hoyden’s voice.

  “Elsa? Got a minute?”

  She punched the intercom pad on her desk. “I’m very busy.”

  “This’ll just take a sec.”

  Before she could answer, the door slid open revealing a grinning Hoyden. He’d overridden her privacy setting. What a jerk.

  He stepped in and waited for the door to close behind him. “Been thinking about you all morning,” he said. “You know I was very disappointed last night.”

  Elsa didn’t answer. I couldn’t see her face, but her hands were in her lap now. She sat stone still.

  “I’ve made us a dinner reservation at Steakmeister. Seven thirty. I suggest you be there.”

  Elsa shifted in her chair. “I have plans—”

  “Cancel them.”

  Hoyden came forward and leaned his knuckles on her desk, making him look like a gorilla. A big, ornery gorilla in a business suit and sculpted hair. Elsa drew back, and even I cringed deeper into the shadow of the wastebasket.

  “It’s time to get serious, Ms. Grippe. I’m through playing around. If you want to continue enjoying your preferred lifestyle, you better play ball.”

  She squared her shoulders and her head tilted back as she raised her chin. “And if I don’t?”

  “You won’t work here again. I doubt you’ll work anywhere. Maybe Zip Fix will hire you to flip astroburgers.”

  “How dare you threaten me!”

  A nasty grin spread across his ugly mug. “Oh, I’d dare pretty much anything, sugarplum. I’m surprised you haven’t figured that out by now.” He took a step backward toward the door and aimed a pointing finger at Elsa. “Seven thirty. Don’t be late.”

  Elsa spun her chair, turning her back on him. The door shooshed open and I heard his heavy steps amble out into the hall before the door closed again.

  Elsa was sitting side-on to me, backlit by her desk lamp. I couldn’t see her face, but her silhouette was expressive of dejection. She gave a heavy sigh and brushed a hand across her cheek, then suddenly sobbed and buried her face in her hands.

  I had seen humans do this sort of thing on the feeds, but I’d never been in the room with it. A weeping human female is a dismaying sight. I wanted to make her stop, but I hesitated to reveal my presence. Unless I wanted to risk my best shot at getting off Gamma Station, I couldn’t talk to her, and without talking I didn’t know if I could be much help.

  There was something to be said for cat charm, though. I knew she was a cat person. Maybe some cuddly kitty stuff would cheer her up. I figured it was worth a try. Anything was better than sitting here watching her cry.

  I hopped up on her lap, ready to do the purring and cuddling thing. She let out a piercing scream.

  My reaction was entirely instinctive. I launched off her lap and scrambled across the room.

  “How did you get in here?”

  She stood up, grabbed her coffee mug, and threw it at me. It hit the wall inches from my head, splattering cold coffee dregs. I winced and ran under a glass-topped end table beside the couch.

  “You nasty, filthy tom! Get out of here!”

  The door shooshed open, and Elsa came at me with a sheaf of papers in her hand, rolling them into a tube. Her eyes were crazed with anger.

  I dashed behind the sofa and out the door, tearing down the hallway with Elsa’s curses spurring me on. Not until I was through the cubicle zone and out of the Megalink complex did I slow down to a trot.

  I continued down the corridor in the direction of the lift until I saw a potted palm hiding some ductwork. Slipping behind the large terracotta planter, I paused to catch my breath and lick a few sticky coffee spatters from my ruffled coat. Elsa took cream and sugar.

  Her reaction wasn’t personal, I figured. She was venting her frustrations about Hoyden. I couldn’t blame her, but I couldn’t very well help her, either, not on my own. I’d have to talk Devin into getting involved.

  When I was sufficiently composed I glanced out from my hiding place before stepping out. Elsa was coming down the corridor, heading for the lift, her face sad and angry. I ducked back behind the pot and held my breath.

  She passed by; she hadn’t seen me. I watched her get in the lift with a half dozen others.

  It was getting close to lunchtime, and traffic was increasing. I had no trouble following the crowd into the next lift, and sure enough some of them were heading to the rotunda. I glanced around warily before getting out, feeling a natural reluctance to run into Elsa. No sign of her.

  I made a beeline for Security, as much as you can make a beeline in a curved walkway. Had to dodge a few legs. The lunch crowd was getting thick.

  Devin was coming out of Security just as I arrived. He looked at me and grinned.

  “There you are. Knew you wouldn’t miss lunch. Hungry?”

  I meowed, my tone calculated to express my disappointment in his assumption that all I could think about was food. His grin widened.

  “How about Ling-Ling’s? They’ve got a special on jade shrimp today.”

  My mouth started watering.

  It took a herculean effort, but I walked past him into Security, then turned and meowed in no uncertain terms. Devin frowned, but followed me back to his office.

  “Now what?” he muttered as the door slid shut behind us.

  “Something smoky’s going on over at Megalink. I saw Elsa Grippe being hassled by her boss again. He threatened her job if she didn’t go out with him.”

  Devin flopped into his chair and put his feet up on the desk. “Gee, that’s very sad, except it’s none of our business.”

  “He’s bl
ackmailing her, Devin.”

  “She don’t like it, she can file charges.”

  “Maybe she’s afraid to. Maybe he has her intimidated.”

  “So maybe she’ll go out with him. I don’t see that it’s a big problem.”

  “Mrs. Boss might disagree.”

  “He’s married?”

  “Two adorable kids. I saw their picture in his office.”

  “Well, that might make him a sleaze, but it doesn’t make him a criminal.”

  I got up on the desk so I could look Devin in the eye. “I also saw Elsa taking covert notes about Megalink’s database. Something’s going on there, Devin. I can’t talk to Elsa, so maybe you should.”

  He tilted his head to give me a wry look. “You don’t think she’d mind being approached by a total stranger on these rather private topics?”

  “I think she might welcome outside help. I get the feeling she hasn’t got anyone to talk to about this stuff.” I hopped down to the floor and headed for the door. “Let’s go hang out in the park. I bet we’ll run into her there. You can turn on your charm. Tell her she’s got nice legs.”

  Devin sighed and stood up. “OK. We’ll stop by Ling-Ling’s for take-out on the way.”

  “Of course.”

  He shambled over and punched the access pad. “I hope this doesn’t get me slapped in the face, Leon.”

  “Just don’t jump in her lap. She doesn’t like surprises.”

  ~

  We spent the afternoon in the park. After we ate lunch I licked out the containers. Devin laughed when I got one of them stuck on my head. I tried to back out of it, but didn’t get it off until I knocked the side of my head against a bush.

  I got him back when he stretched out for a nap on a bench down by the Puddle. It wasn’t even deliberate, I swear. He was snoozing, and I was chasing a butterfly around by the shore. When it flew up over the bench, it was just natural for me to follow. I was on the hunt; I didn’t have time to think about things like the incidental comfort of humans. His stomach made a good launch pad, I used it.

  It occurred to me that this would be a good time to cruise the park for Elsa. Maybe she’d taken off work early and brought Leila out for some air. With Devin’s curses fading behind me, I slunk beneath bushes up the hillside, then began criss-crossing the park in a methodical search pattern.