The Evolution of Us

by D. Kelly

  “Dec, do you ever want kids?”

  “If I’m having them with you, the answer is yes.”

  She props herself up on my chest, looking me in the eye. “What if we break up? You don’t want kids?”

  “I’m not sure, but come on, Holls, could you ever see us breaking up? It’s always going to be me and you. It’s a pretty sweet deal when the love of your life is also your best friend.”

  Worry lines appear on her forehead. “It is, and I don’t see us breaking up, but it makes me sad to think you might not have kids if I weren’t in the picture. You’d make an incredible father. Is it because of your dad? You’re not him, Declan, and you never will be.”

  “No, love, I’m not worried about him. I’m just not sure I could ever feel for someone else the way I feel about you.”

  She traces my chest with her fingertip. “You’re such a romantic. I’d like to think if something happened to me, or to us, you could fall in love again.”

  I pull her finger to my mouth and bite it. “Not me, I’m not that nice. If I die, sure, you can find someone else. If we break up, I want you so miserable the only choice you have is to come back to me.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  “Well, don’t break up with me.”

  “I don’t plan on it.”

  She climbs on top of me and silences my groan with her lips. This girl is crazy if she thinks I’d ever be stupid enough to let her go. My heart knows hers intimately, and no one else will ever compare.

  eleven

  Holly

  “Jesus, Holly! You go, girl. I can’t believe you were bold enough to go after what you wanted. I’m impressed.”

  “Well, it wasn’t exactly what I wanted. I wanted to fuck him until I passed out, Sage. Still, it’s not smart to rush this. We need to take things slow, and I sort of feel like I crossed a major line even doing what we did.”

  She shakes her head and snorts. “You’re being ridiculous. You’ve had a thing for Declan before he ever moved next door to you. He knows you better than I do and probably loves you as much as I do. Maybe. Anyway, my point is, you two have done the slow thing. You grew up together … hell, you lived together, for fuck’s sake.”

  “True …”

  “Hell yeah, it’s true. If you want Declan to pound you with that massive anaconda in his pants, tell him! He’s not going to turn you down. In fact, he told you to let him know when you’re ready. You started his engine last night, now you need to keep that fucker revved and ready for action.”

  “I think you’ve been spending way too much time with Baxter lately,” I reply, laughing.

  “There’s no such thing. Us single folks have to stick together. Some days I wish Baxter was bi … it would make my life so much better.”

  “I’m sure Bax says the same thing about Declan.”

  Sage snorts. “Speaking of, he was really happy you gave him those concert tickets and an apology. It meant a lot to him.”

  “It was an apology long overdue.”

  “I’ve got to get going. I’ve got a hot date tonight with someone my mom set me up with. If I’m late, she’ll kill me.” She rolls her eyes.

  “Maybe he’ll be cute?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure. Instead of the ugly duckling parade she usually sends me out with, this time she’ll finally give me a swan?”

  “Good point. You two just have different opinions of sexy. For her, it’s stability and a good job. For you, it’s all that plus six-pack abs, a voracious sexual appetite, and a sarcastic sense of humor. Be thankful you got her down to a set-up once every six months. Those weekly dates she was trying to set you up on were brutal.”

  “Ugh, don’t remind me.”

  I pull Sage in for a hug and kiss her on the cheek. “Try to have fun. I’ll be around all night working, so if you need an emergency to get out of the date, text me. And no matter what, text me when you get home so I know you’re alive.”

  “Will do. I’ll try to stop by tomorrow to see Heather.”

  “Sounds good. Love you.”

  “Love you, too,” she says as she waves goodbye.

  “Is it wrong for that to make me jealous?” Declan asks from where he’s propped against his doorway.

  His words make my heart flutter, and then I see Justine smirking at me from over his shoulder and it stops cold. “Not wrong, maybe premature, though. I’ve gotta get some work done. Have a good night, Dec.”

  I try to ignore the stunned look on his face as I close my apartment door. They’re only co-workers; I understand that. My mind gets it, anyway, but it pisses my heart the fuck off. That’s the bigger issue at hand—I’ve already fallen for him again.

  For a year and a half, I’ve kept him at a distance, pushed back every time he pulled, and avoided my feelings hoping to keep the hurt at bay. Now we’re here, falling for each other all over again with two lost years bridging the gap between us. Two years of him fucking random women, and two years of me holding onto secrets I wish I never had to keep.

  When my phone immediately vibrates across my desk, it doesn’t surprise me.

  Declan: Did I do something wrong?

  No

  Declan: Is it Justine?

  No … I don’t know … maybe

  Declan: Can I come over for a minute please?

  I really have to get some work done.

  Declan: Please, Holly. So do I.

  Fine, door is open.

  A minute later, he walks in and takes his time appraising me.

  “I knew you were angry,” he says, pulling me from my chair.

  “I’m not. Frustrated maybe, but I don’t even have the right.”

  “Fuck that,” he growls. “You most definitely have the right. I’m going to fire her.”

  “Declan, no.”

  Anger mars his features. “Yes. She’s getting on my nerves, anyway, and now she makes you uncomfortable. Besides, I don’t really need her anymore and she knows it.”

  Sighing, I lean back against my desk. “It’s not really her. It’s what she represents. I have so many mixed emotions about this whole thing.”

  “Then talk to me about them,” he pleads.

  “If I were working with someone I’d fucked, would you be okay with it?”

  “Hell no.”

  “Even if I swore we were over and it was only sex between us?”

  “I’d trust you but not him. I see your point, Holls, and I already said I’d fire her.”

  I reach for his hand and squeeze it in mine. “That’s the thing. You shouldn’t have to. We’re going to have to get to a place where I can let your history with other women go, or this is never going to work.”

  Declan pulls me into his arms, hugging me tightly. “We’re just getting started. Give it some time. Neither of us are going to get over the past immediately. Letting Justine go isn’t a hardship.”

  “Maybe not, but I saw your schedule, Dec. You need someone like her to help keep you organized and to keep you at the top of your career.”

  “The same career I’m not even sure I want anymore?”

  “How long have you been feeling like this about your work?”

  “About a year. I’m trying to find a balance, and I keep telling Justine that’s what I want, but she keeps pushing these new opportunities at me. I can still do The Funhouse without all the other stuff coming my way.”

  I think Justine is a money-grubbing whore, but I don’t dare tell him that.

  “Look, I don’t want you to fire her because of me. Especially since we don’t know where we’re going with this right now.”

  “Love, we’re going down whatever road leads us to spending the rest of our lives together.”

  The tenderness in his gaze has my heart fluttering again. This man loves me, I know he does. I just need to keep reminding myself of it.

  “My advice for you is to think about interviewing other managers. Not because you fucked Justine but because it sounds like she does the opposite of whatever you ask
of her. Granted, she’s gotten you some incredible opportunities, but at what cost? If you’re not happy, Dec, change it. Interview people until you find someone who meshes with what you want, your style, your passion. Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t give Baxter the job in the first place. This is something he’d excel at, and between you and Justine, you’ve set him up for success if he did take over.”

  He lowers his lips to mine and kisses me passionately before answering. “You’re so fucking sexy when you talk business to me.”

  “Well, on that note, you should leave because you have work to do and so do I.”

  “Yeah, I know. We’re still on for tomorrow, though, right? I’m bringing you and Heather dinner?”

  “Absolutely.”

  After working for a few hours, I decide to call it an early night. As I crawl into bed, my phone goes off.

  Sage: Another date, another frog, I’m home safe and sound. Love you!

  Bummer – but at least you’re off the hook for six months. Love you, too.

  As I lie in bed, I can’t stop thinking about Declan. I haven’t told Heather he’s going to be here tomorrow, but I know she’s going to be thrilled to see him.

  “Hey, you guys! It’s so good to see you two!”

  Heather and Ken laugh at my excitement as they hug me hello. “Thanks for letting her spend the weekend with you. It’s our one-year anniversary, and with all the crap Melanie puts up with, I figured I owed her something special.”

  Melanie is Ken’s girlfriend. They met the day Ken and my mom broke up and struck up a friendship. After his divorce was final, they started dating. I like her a lot.

  “Please, having my sister here is hardly a hardship. She can fill me in on junior high, and I can fill her up with junk food.”

  “Junk food sounds amazing. Dad and Melanie have been on a kale and fish kick. Give me a burger or pizza, or anything that doesn’t have fins or grow from the ground, and I’ll be happy.”

  Ken laughs at his daughter and kisses her goodbye. “Have fun, I’ll see you on Sunday. I love you.”

  “Love you, too, Dad. Have fun this weekend.”

  Heather closes the door behind him and breaks into a smile. “I’ve missed you so much. I brought all the stuff so we can have a spa night.”

  “I’ve missed you, too. Three months seems like forever. We can do spa night tomorrow, tonight I have a surprise for you.”

  “I love surprises. You’re not pregnant, are you?”

  “Heather!”

  “Oh my God, Holly, your face is so red. It’s hilarious.”

  “You shouldn’t say that to people, and no, I’m not pregnant. Come on, help me make some cookies and catch me up on life.”

  We’ve got this down to a routine, and after everything is on the counter, Heather begins measuring out the ingredients.

  “Mom called me a few weeks ago. She was crying, and I got in trouble for accepting the call. Dad took the phone away before I actually got to talk to her for real.”

  That woman is never going to learn.

  “I’m sorry, sweetie.”

  “Does it ever get easier, Holly?”

  “It can. My dad kept Dawn away from us as much as he could. Your dad is trying to do the same, but Dawn doesn’t seem to get the hint. After everything that happened, would you want a relationship with her?”

  She looks down briefly, and then faces me with tear-filled eyes. “Maybe? Not the drug-addict version of her but the one who used to take care of me and love me … I miss that mom.”

  “Yeah, I understand that. It’s a hard thing to cope with. On the bad days, just remember you have Ken and me, and we love you the most.”

  When she smiles, it lightens my heart. “Does Declan know what happened that day?”

  Shit. I forgot he hasn’t seen her other than in brief passing since then. “Not yet, but I decided I’m going to tell him soon.”

  In a flash, her arms are around me. “I’m so glad. Maybe it will help you guys get back together.”

  “We’re actually dating exclusively. I wouldn’t say we’re back together yet, but we’re not seeing anyone else. It’s time he knows the truth, I’m still working up to it.”

  “That’s awesome, Holly! You two have always been perfect for each other, and seriously, just tell him. It’s not that big of a deal.”

  If she only knew.

  She turns her attention back to the cookie dough and starts dropping spoonfuls onto the baking sheet. The doorbell rings and I know it’s him. I swear he’s got some kind of ESP and senses when people are talking about him.

  “Wanna get that for me?” I’m putting the first tray of cookies in the oven and trying to hide my smile as she sets the spoon down and answers the door.

  “What the hell happened to my munchkin? You’re huge!”

  Heather squeals gleefully as Declan picks her up and swings her around. It’s a precious sight and brings instant happiness to my heart.

  “Declan! You’re here!”

  “Oh, come on,” he says, putting her back on the ground. “Did you really think your sister was going to be able to get rid of me?”

  “Not really, but geez, it took you long enough.”

  “Tell me about it. Your sister is a hard nut to crack.”

  “So … are you guys back together for good?”

  Dec defers to me with a slight nod. “We’re working on it, Heather,” I answer.

  “Really? Come on, Holly! He loves you.”

  I’m pretty sure my sister still has a raging crush on him. It’s adorable.

  “Listen to your sister, love, she knows what she’s talking about.”

  “Declan …” My cautioning tone only makes him smile and raise his arms in surrender.

  “I know, we’re taking it slow.”

  “Oh my God, s-w-o-o-n. You two are adorbs.”

  Declan laughs in earnest. “I’m not sure anyone other than Baxter has ever called me adorbs. Or swooned at me, for that matter.”

  “Women swoon at you all the time,” I say, laughing.

  “Hmm, I must be too blinded by your beauty to notice.” His husky tone lights me on fire, but it’s completely inappropriate as Heather looks between us with a smug look.

  “Totally knew you two were going to get back together. In four years, I’ll be sixteen, which is the perfect age to babysit my nieces and nephews. I’ll even give you the family discount.”

  What is with her and babies today?

  “Hear that, Holls? We’ll get the family discount. How could we possibly pass up an offer like that?”

  Another knock on the door saves my ass. “That might be Sage. Can you grab it so I can get the cookies out?”

  “I’ll get it,” Heather says.

  “Oh my God! It’s Holly’s mini-me!”

  “She is, isn’t she?” Sage replies to Baxter. “Declan, it’s good to see you … alone,” she adds coolly.

  “Oh, come on, Sage. That’s no kind of greeting. Give me a hug.” Declan envelops her before she has a chance to mock him or turn away.

  “Holly, this is so cool. Did you invite everyone over to see me?” Heather follows Baxter into the kitchen.

  “Actually, no. Declan was supposed to bring dinner over tonight, and Sage said she might stop by but was supposed to call me and let me know.”

  Sage stops squirming in Declan’s arms and finally returns his hug. “It’s about time you come to your senses, you big oaf.”

  Bax laughs at her grumbling. “Pretty sure it was Holly who finally came to her senses.”

  “I think we both finally came to an understanding,” I reply.

  “Agreed,” Dec concurs.

  “Sounds good to me. Now, what’s for dinner, brother-in-law?” Heather quips.

  “Oh shit, mini-Holls has jokes,” Bax says as he throws his arm around me.

  Declan feeds off her comment. “Whatever you want, sister-in-law.” Heather giggles uncontrollably at his response.

  “You’re
totally fucked, you know that, right?” Sage asks as she runs her finger through the dough and licks it.

  “I’m beginning to see that,” I reply, scooping out my own taste of cookie dough. Even though they’re all sort of mocking me, I haven’t been this happy in a long time.

  “Can we have pizza? No anchovies. If I have to eat any more fish, I’ll cry,” Heather says, pouting.

  “Sure.” Declan pulls out his phone to order.

  Baxter puts his arm around Heather’s shoulder and tugs her close. “Who the hell actually puts anchovies on pizza? You’re hanging out with the wrong crowd, Heather. Stick with us, we’ll steer you the right way.”

  “I don’t know anyone who does, I was just hoping you don’t,” Heather replies, happily leaning into Baxter.

  “Okay, pizza is ordered. Holly, can you come help me grab some drinks and stuff from my apartment?”

  Eyeing him suspiciously, I reply, “Sure, keep an eye on the cookies, you guys. Don’t let them burn.”

  “Got it, babe. No burnt cookies on my watch.” Sage winks as I follow Declan.

  When we get into his apartment, he closes the door behind us. “What’s going on, Dec?”

  “This.” He slams his mouth onto mine and pushes me into the wall. When I squeal in surprise, he slides his tongue into my mouth. Roaming my body with his hands, he steals my breath with each stroke of his tongue. I’m dying for more, but there’s no time.

  As we break apart, I’m dazed and out of breath. “Holy shit, Declan.”

  “That was incredible,” he pants, trying to catch his breath. “With Heather here, I figure I may not get to do that again until she leaves. I couldn’t let what might be my only opportunity pass me by.”

  “We wouldn’t want that,” I whisper.

  “Was I wrong? Should I not have done that? Shit, Holls, I hate being apprehensive about us. I want to be able to kiss you without second-guessing your feelings about it.”

  His pained words tug on my heartstrings. “Don’t worry about kissing me. In fact, you should do it as much as you want, when it’s appropriate.”

  “Good,” he says.

  “Does this seem different to you? Our chemistry?

  Nodding, he says, “It’s intense, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve been …”