Teen Titans Go! (TM): Starfire Starbomb

by Steve Kort

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  CHAPTER

  1

  It was an awesome summer day, perfect for planting flowers, and that’s just what Starfire was doing.

  “The flowers, the flowers grow in the ground,” she sang. “Give them the water, or they will die.”

  The happiest member of the Teen Titans was floating above the lawn that surrounded Titans Tower, the team’s headquarters, and singing as she sprinkled water on her petunias and pansies.

  Starfire couldn’t remember the last time she had been this happy. What could possibly spoil this perfect day?

  Ker-Blam!

  Just then, a giant metal prison-security robot crashed down from the sky and smashed into the middle of her garden, crushing every single flower. Starfire watched in astonishment as smoke billowed from the wreckage and her sister Blackfire stepped out from behind the robot.

  “Blackfire?!” said Starfire with a gasp.

  Zap!

  Four more robots appeared above the sisters, and one of the robots fired a laser blast directly at Blackfire.

  “Hey, little sister,” said Blackfire as she did a quick somersault to avoid the laser. “Cover my flank, okay?”

  “Of course,” said Starfire.

  The two sisters zoomed into the air and flew back to back, facing the robots that gathered around them.

  Zap! Zap! Zap!

  As the robots bombarded Starfire and Blackfire with more laser blasts, the sisters fought back as hard as they could, shooting eye blasts and pummeling the machines with strong punches.

  Blam!

  Another robot downed by one of Starfire’s starbolts!

  “Um, Blackfire, what are you doing here?” she asked.

  Blackfire destroyed a robot with an energy blast called a blackbolt and replied, “I came to see you, sweetie!”

  “But you never visit,” protested Starfire. “I… I thought you did not like me.”

  Rip!

  Blackfire threw another robot to the ground, snapped off its head, and tossed it aside.

  “Oh, honey, where did you ever get that idea? Cover me!” she yelled just as a robot moved closer to her.

  Starfire zapped the robot with her signature starbolt energy blasts, and the machine exploded in the sky.

  “You never return my calls,” said Starfire.

  “Got a new number!” yelled Blackfire as she dodged another laser blast.

  “When I was five, you stole my favorite dolly!”

  “Just so I could have something that reminded me of you!”

  Starfire smiled happily as she grabbed the final robot, slamming it into tiny pieces with her fist. She turned to her sister.

  “So you really came back here just for me? There is no other reason?” she asked.

  “I just had to see my baby sister,” Blackfire said as the two girls floated down to the ground.

  “Then you promise you will not disappoint me again?” asked Starfire.

  “Promise!”

  Starfire reached out to Blackfire and hugged her as hard as she could.

  “Oooh… Then we can begin the closeness!” Starfire said.

  “Um, that’s enough closeness for now,” Blackfire said with a frown. “Enough hugging.”

  CHAPTER

  2

  Inside Titans Tower, the other four members of the Teen Titans were chilling in the living room. Raven was reading a book, Robin was lifting weights, and Cyborg and Beast Boy were sitting on the couch playing rock-paper-scissors. Starfire bounded into the room. She usually looked happy, but today she seemed especially happy.

  “Friends,” she called out. “Look who has paid us the surprise visit!”

  “Oooh, I love surprises,” said Cyborg.

  Blackfire stepped into the room next to her sister, raised her hand to greet the Titans, and said, “Hi, everybody.”

  Instantly, the smiles of the four Titans vanished.

  “But not this surprise,” muttered Cyborg.

  “Ew, it’s her,” said Raven.

  “Ugh,” added Beast Boy.

  Starfire reached over to hug her sister again and said, “Yes, the her, herself!”

  Robin put down his weights and marched over to the sisters. Blackfire smiled at Robin and ran her finger across his chin.

  “Hey, Robin,” she purred. “Did you miss me?”

  Robin glared at her and shouted, “Uh, no. Because you are evil, and I am only attracted to niceness and sweetness and innocent things… like a puppy with ears too big for his head!”

  Robin quickly pulled Starfire away and said, “Star, can I talk to you in the kitchen for a minute?”

  Starfire replied, “Of course. And when I come back, we can continue with the sisterly hugging.”

  In the kitchen, Starfire could barely contain her excitement.

  “Can you believe that Blackfire has come to see me? Is that not wonderful?” she said happily.

  “No!” Robin said firmly. “And again, no! Every time you let her into your life, she crushes you!”

  Starfire said, “I do not think so, but—”

  Robin interrupted her to say, “Yes. And again, yes! She is one of the most wanted criminals in the galaxy!”

  Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Raven came into the kitchen and joined the conversation.

  “Girl, that girl is bad-girl news, girl!” cautioned Cyborg.

  “She’s up to something,” said Raven.

  “And ugh!” added Beast Boy.

  Blam!

  Starfire emitted an eye blast that sent the other four Titans spinning across the kitchen and crashing into the wall.

  “Stop it!” she yelled. “All I have ever wished for is to have the sister relationship. And Blackfire knows that if she lets me down again, it will break my heart. And the darkness will ooze from my broken heart, contaminating the river of my soul.”

  The four Titans watched with apprehension as an inky blackness descended upon the kitchen, leaving only Starfire visible within an aura of glowing purple energy.

  “Um, Star…” Robin began.

  “Do not interrupt!” said Starfire as a howling wind began to swirl through the kitchen. “If my sister disappoints me again, then I, filled with poison, will rain death and destruction upon all the creatures of the universe, starting with…”

  Suddenly, Starfire’s dark spell was broken when Blackfire flew into the kitchen and grabbed her sister’s hand.

  “Hey, sis,” said Blackfire, “I have the best idea! Let’s dye our hair so we can be twinsies.”

  Starfire clapped her hands in delight and said, “I always wanted to be the twinsies! Sister fun time!”

  As the two sisters floated merrily out of the room together, the other Titans exchanged nervous glances.

  CHAPTER

  3

  “SISTER FUN TIME!” Starfire screeched. Ten minutes later, she was standing in front of a mirror, admiring her newly colored black hair, her newly thickened black eyelashes, and her newly painted black fingernails. Blackfire stood next to her, admiring Starfire’s makeover.

  “Oooh!” Starfire said happily as she studied her reflectio
n.

  “You look great, sweetie,” said Blackfire. “But it’s missing something.…”

  Starfire looked worried and asked, “What?! What is missing?!”

  Blackfire snapped her fingers and said, “Oh, I know what it is. It’s that purple outfit of yours. We need to change that.”

  Blackfire reached into a paper bag and said, “Oh, look! I just happen to have an extra one of my outfits here.”

  Seconds later, Starfire was modeling a black top and skirt with black boots.

  “That’s such a great look for you,” Blackfire said admiringly.

  Happy tears began to form in Starfire’s eyes as she turned to her sister and said, “There is something of meaning I wish to relay to you. I have dreamed of this for so long.…”

  Blackfire held up a finger to her mouth and said, “Shhh. Can it wait? Why don’t you move over there, next to the window?”

  Starfire looked puzzled, but she obligingly moved closer to the window.

  “Like this?” she asked.

  “Perfect,” said Blackfire. “That’s her!” she shouted suddenly, pointing at Starfire. “That’s Blackfire, the escaped con you’re looking for!”

  Smash!

  Suddenly, a prison-security robot crashed through the window and encased Starfire within a laser-detention ray. Starfire was unable to break free as the robot pulled her closer.

  Starfire looked at her sister and slowly shook her head with sadness. She was so disappointed that she didn’t even struggle as the robot carried her through the broken window and soared into the sky.

  Blackfire peeked through the window and then smiled.

  “Bye-bye, sweetie!” she called out as the robot and her sister zoomed into outer space.

  Hours later, the robot delivered Starfire to the Intergalactic Metahuman Penitentiary, a giant steel-coated asteroid that circled Neptune. The robot held Starfire within its laser-detention ray as they floated past dozens of prison cells that contained alien beings, many of them manacled to the walls of their prison.

  Clang!

  The robot tossed Starfire into a tiny cell and then slammed the heavy metal door shut behind her.

  Starfire surveyed the grim stone walls that surrounded her and listened to the howling laughter of some of the other inmates. Her usually happy smile faded from her face, and she formed her hands into fists. As she pounded her fists against the walls of her cell, she angrily called out one name over and over.

  “Blackfire!” she yelled.

  Back at Titans Tower, Blackfire was happily lounging on a couch, flipping through the pages of a magazine. She looked up as the Titans approached her.

  Robin paused to look around and asked, “Wait, where is Starfire? What did you do to her?!”

  Blackfire shrugged and turned back to her magazine.

  “Titans!” yelled Robin. “Dig up the yard!”

  Within minutes, the lawn outside Titans Tower was pockmarked with giant holes after the four Titans dug up the ground in search of Starfire.

  Blackfire emerged from the Tower, yawned, and said, “Calm down. She’s fine. She’s in jail… serving out my sentence.”

  Cyborg looked shocked and yelled, “Get me a sweater—because that is so cold!”

  Robin glared at Blackfire and said, “This is why you showed up in the first place!”

  “She trusted you,” Raven said angrily.

  “Dibs on Star’s room!” Beast Boy called out.

  As the other Titans glared at Beast Boy, he said, “What? She’s got the best room in the Tower. And she’s got a bidet!”

  “You are the worst sister in the world,” Raven declared.

  Blackfire rolled her eyes and replied, “I can’t be the worst.”

  Robin moved closer to Blackfire and said, “I have two jobs in this world. One: Eradicate evil! And two: Protect the precious heart of Starfire!”

  “Cut me some slack,” said Blackfire. “No one ever taught me how to be a good sister.”

  Cyborg jumped closer to Blackfire, put one robotic hand on her shoulder, and said, “Then get yourself a backpack and a spiral notebook and a number-two pencil and a pen and a juice box and some healthy snacks and an apple for your teacher, because… we are going to take you to sister school!”

  Blackfire looked alarmed as Beast Boy grabbed her arm and pulled her into Titans Tower.

  “Sister school, yo!” he called out happily.

  CHAPTER

  4

  The Titans gathered in Beast Boy’s bedroom. They surrounded Blackfire, who was staring at her cell phone, trying her best to ignore them.

  “Lesson number one: listening,” Cyborg said slowly. “Now listen. So I can teach you to listen.”

  “Uh-huh, whatever,” Blackfire said as she texted.

  Cyborg looked annoyed, but he continued. “The keys to active listening are eye contact and hand-holding. Allow me to demonstrate.”

  He then grasped Beast Boy’s hand, looked deep into his teammate’s eyes, and said soothingly, “Go on, Beast Boy. I’m listening.”

  “My problem is that I’m just too sweet and funny,” Beast Boy said sadly, tears welling in his eyes. “And girls take advantage of me.”

  Cyborg nodded sympathetically and said, “I hear your pain. You have to talk it out, so you can walk it out.” He turned to Blackfire and said, “Now you try.”

  Blackfire rolled her eyes, sighed, and placed her cell phone in her pocket. Beast Boy reached out his hand to her, and she reluctantly touched it.

  “Go on, Beast Boy,” she muttered.

  “Sometimes I think I’ll never find love.…” Beast Boy began.

  Blackfire quickly withdrew her hand and shouted, “Shut up!”

  Beast Boy scurried into the corner of the room and let out a quiet whimper.

  Robin stepped forward and said, “Okay, lesson number two: hugging. Blackfire, I want you to hug Beast Boy.”

  Blackfire reluctantly walked over to Beast Boy, reached out her hands, and briefly touched Beast Boy’s shoulders.

  “Terrible effort!” said Robin. “Again. This time with Raven.”

  Blackfire reached around Raven for two seconds and then pulled her arms away.

  “No, no, no!” yelled Robin. “Here, I’ll show you myself.”

  Robin walked over to Blackfire and said, “Arms out wide! Come in tight, but not too tight! Back pats optional!”

  Whap!

  Blackfire smiled happily as she threw her arms tightly around Robin. She sighed with contentment as she continued to hug him.

  “That’s much, much better,” Robin said. “Okay, let go.”

  “Oh, but this feels so good,” Blackfire said as she held on tight.

  “No, no!” Robin said nervously. “Wrong kind of hug. Separate! Separate!”

  Robin finally pulled free, caught his breath, and then he said, “Okay, time for lesson number three: role-play! Titans, assemble your Starfire outfits!”

  Blackfire watched as the Titans reached into backpacks and pulled out long, flowing magenta wigs and purple Starfire outfits. Within seconds, each Titan was dressed more or less exactly like Starfire.

  Beast Boy brushed aside the magenta locks from his face and spoke in a singsong voice to Blackfire, “Oh, sister, I am here to tell you how you have made me feel all these years.”

  Blackfire laughed and said, “You look ridiculous.”

  Beast Boy pouted, then yelled, “You look ridiculous!”

  Robin quickly pulled Beast Boy away and whispered, “Stick to the script!”

  Cyborg jumped in and said, “What Starfire meant to say is do not be a glorpnurp, friend.”

  “Glorpnurp?” said Blackfire sarcastically. “That’s not even a word, genius!”

  “Hey! Don’t make me come over there!” Cyborg said angrily.

  “I told you this wouldn’t work,” Raven muttered to Robin.

  “Stay in character,” Robin replied. “What the Starfires are trying to say is this: When you were in tro
uble, who did you turn to? When you were in—”

  Blackfire interrupted Robin to say, “I’m going to stop you right there… and tell you that exactly zero people care.”

  Robin angrily pulled the magenta wig off his head and yelled, “I have no idea how Starfire could still love you after all you’ve put her through!”

  Suddenly, Blackfire looked confused. She turned to the other Titans and asked, “She loves me?”

  “Probably the only person in the universe who does,” Beast Boy said sulkily as the Titans started to walk out of the room.

  Tears began to form in Blackfire’s eyes as she remembered the time that she and Starfire were little girls and she had snatched Tina Tinkles, Starfire’s very favorite doll, out of her hands. Starfire had only responded with a sad smile and a warm hug.

  “Wait, don’t go!” Blackfire called out. “I want to be a better sister!”

  CHAPTER

  5

  Deep within the Intergalactic Metahuman Penitentiary, Starfire relentlessly did push-ups on the cold stone floor. She was wearing an orange prison jumpsuit, with the sleeves ripped off to show her bulging biceps. The only time she paused from her exercise regimen was to glare at the wall above her. There, taped to the wall of her cell, was a photo of her sister, Blackfire. Starfire had used her eye blasts to etch dozens of angry words into the stone wall near the picture: traitor! bad sister! do not trust! liar! never again! no mercy!

  Starfire jumped to her feet and put her face inches away from the photo on the wall.

  “You have broken my heart, sister,” she said angrily. “Now I will break you!”

  Starfire then looked into a mirror and grabbed an electric shaver.

  Bzzzzzz!

  With a dozen quick moves, Starfire ran the clippers through her hair, buzzing off all her flowing locks. She smiled as she surveyed the stubble atop her head. She flexed her right bicep, admiring a large tattoo—it was her sister’s face, with a red X slashed across it.