Kailani & Bishop: A Case of the Exes

by B. Love

  “The hell is going on, Ashley?” I asked, taking a step back.

  “I didn’t know you were coming. You didn’t call like you used to.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m here. What’s up? What you need to talk to me about?”

  She stepped closer and tried to wrap her arms around me, but I removed them.

  “Baby… why you doing me like this?” she asked, genuinely concerned.

  I felt bad, but at the same time, I didn’t care. We weren’t in a committed relationship. If she had feelings for a nigga, that was her problem— not mine.

  “Doing what, Ashley?”

  “Treating me this way. I love you. You know that.”

  “But, I don’t love you, Ash. Not the way you need me to. You knew what was up with me from the jump. I told you I wasn’t the relationship type. You chose to fall for a nigga. Now you gotta get yo ass up.”

  I tried to walk out, but she fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around my legs.

  “Please, Bishop, don’t do me like this. I’ve waited six fucking years for your ass and this how you gone do me?! You always talking about loyalty but look at what the fuck you doing!” she screamed with tears falling from her eyes.

  I lifted her up by her forearm and grabbed her cheeks. Forcing her to look at me.

  “Listen to me, Ashley. We were never in a relationship. I don’t owe your ass shit. I appreciate you being down for a nigga while I was locked up, but I never asked you to. You did that shit on your own and the way you went at Kai the other night lets me know that we can’t socialize and be cool because you not gone act right.”

  “You talking to someone else never stopped us from kicking it before. What’s so special about her? What is it about her that would make you cut me off?”

  I let her go and took a step back. I focused my attention on the ground.

  “To be honest, Ash… I think she’s the one.”

  She didn’t say anything. Instead, she turned and made her way back to her bedroom. I stared at her for a moment and left. She took it better than I expected.

  Kailani

  I hadn’t heard from Bishop after he left my house yesterday morning. I was surprised. I didn’t think he was a hit it and quit it, nigga. I mean, he may have been, but I didn’t think he would do that to me. If all he wanted was sex, he could have gotten that from Ashley or just been straight forward with me since he was honest and open. I should have known I couldn’t trust him. I couldn’t blame him, though. I allowed him to play me. I gave in. I wanted to trust him. I wanted to feel him. This was all on me.

  I’d been telling myself that all day, but it was hard for me to believe it. After I told him what happened between Courtney and me, I just couldn’t believe he was such a dog ass nigga that he’d hurt me like this. As much as I wanted to take it as a loss and let him go, I wanted answers. I wanted an explanation. I wanted him to look me in my face and tell me that he played me. At least be a man about it and take responsibility for it. I could respect a man for that. I hated liars. That was so childish to me. If he was going to bold enough to do it, he should’ve been bold enough to own up to it. I hated cowards.

  I planned on giving him until tomorrow to reach out to me and explain himself. Until he did, I was going to try and forget he ever existed and I was starting that by going and getting me a plan B pill.

  In the meantime, Lay was supposed to meet me at Rell’s studio so I could record a song. I hadn’t been in the studio since I was nineteen. I’d stopped rapping and focused on my poetry because it was a better way for me to express myself, but I hadn’t been doing that lately either. When I got there and saw that she wasn’t there, I was pissed. I could’ve still been at home chilling, but I’d gotten dressed and drove almost thirty minutes to get here and her inconsiderate ass couldn’t even call me and let me know that she wasn’t going to be able to come.

  I guessed Rell was tired of me pacing in front of his studio because after I’d called her for the fourth time and gotten no answer, he opened the door and peeked his head out in the hallway.

  “You coming in anytime soon or nah?” he asked with a smile.

  As mad as I was, his demeanor was so chill that I immediately released my tense shoulders and relaxed a little.

  “Honestly, I was about to leave. Lay was supposed to meet me here, but her ass ain’t picking up the phone. Have you talked to her?”

  “Not since I left this morning. You can come in and drop without her. You know that, right?”

  Wrapping my hand around my elbow and pulling my arms over my stomach, I thought about being with Rell alone in the studio. I’d never been attracted to him physically. Not that he wasn’t attractive. Rell was a very attractive man. He was the same color as me with shoulder length dreads, chocolate brown eyes that naturally looked like he was always high and blunt brown lips. We were the same height when I had my heels on and he was skinny built; not too buff but his muscles were definitely cut. Lord, don’t get me started on that V cut six pack. What scared me about Rell was his mental. I’d already come to the realization that he was the perfect mix of all the men I adored and that kept me from ever being alone with him. Even before Bishop came in the picture, I’d vowed to never be alone with him on the strength of my loyalty towards and friendship with Layyah.

  As much as I wanted to get back in the studio, I wasn’t sure if now was the right time.

  “Kai,” he said, bringing me out of my trance.

  “Hunh?”

  “I said you can still drop something.”

  “Uh, okay.”

  Slowly, I walked past him and into the smoke-filled studio. His Givenchy cologne was still intoxicating even though his clothes reeked of weed. When I walked past him, I couldn’t help but see him looking me up and down out the corner of his eye. Maybe I was seeing things. Maybe I was seeing what I thought I wanted to see. I don’t know, but I was starting to regret my outfit. I was wearing a pair of high waist leggings and a white crop top. I had on a chunky gold necklace, big hoops, and a pair of gold sandals. After removing my gold cross body purse, I turned to face him. He immediately lifted his eyes and met mine.

  “I haven’t done this in a while,” I admitted.

  “Don’t worry. I wrote something for you. Once you get in the booth, it’ll be like riding a bike. You’ll be at it like you never left.”

  I looked at him like he was crazy. “I write my own shit. Lay didn’t tell you?”

  He shrugged before picking up his blunt and taking a hit.

  “You wrote that shit I heard you spitting on your Loose Cannon mixtape?” Rell asked surprised.

  “Yeah. What you know about that? That was years ago.”

  “I followed your music before I even met you and Lay. Always was a fan of yours. Your whole package. Your lyrics. The way you deliver them. Your voice. Your look. All of you. I just… I don’t know… You don’t look like you can rap, let alone write like that. That whole mixtape was hot.”

  I blushed. “Thanks.”

  “Aight, so what you got in mind then?” he asked, pushing his chair back and walking towards me. Sitting on the arm of the chair I was sitting in, he looked down at me.

  “Umm…”

  When his phone started ringing, I was glad. I was getting uncomfortable by his closeness. When he continued to look down at me, I asked, “You not gone get that?”

  “When I’m at work, I don’t answer the phone for anyone except my ma, Bishop or Lay, and that ain’t naine one of their ringtones.”

  I laughed at his country choice of words. “Neither one, Rell. Country ass.”

  He smiled before nudging me on the shoulder lightly. “Whatever, mane. You’re my priority right now is what I’m trying to say. So, back to the question at hand… What’s in that pretty little head of yours to spit?”

  Licking my lips, I rubbed my sweaty palms along my leggings. “I got some I wanna do. Some on some swag type shit. No real lyricism, just lots of punch lines to recreate the buzz I had ye
ars ago.”

  He nodded. “Aight, I know what you mean. I was working on a beat before you walked in. Kind of like a Hot Nigga type beat. You remember that Bobby Shmurda shit?”

  “Right right, okay. Let me hear it.” He stood finally and cut the beat on.

  After bobbing to it for a while, I started walking into the booth.

  “Aye if you need it, I got some Fiji water and Arizona tea. Lay told me those were your two favorite things to drink.”

  I smiled at his thoughtfulness. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

  He nodded before motioning for me to go in the studio. After putting the headphones on, I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. When I opened them, Bishop was walking into the studio. My mood had completely changed. He was cheesing at me like it hadn’t been a whole day since I heard from him and I was pissed.

  “The hell yo ass been, nigga?” I asked, causing Rell to laugh.

  “Hunh?”

  “Don’t huh me, nigga. You heard me. Where you been?”

  “Taking care of some shit.”

  I shook my head in disappointment. I wouldn’t have been so paranoid had I not known he was going to see Ashley when he left me.

  “Aye, Rell, I wanna do some different,” I said.

  “Aight, I’ma start the beat over.”

  “Ion trust what these niggas say. Ion trust what these niggas do. Ion wait for time to tell ‘cause time still won’t give me proof. Niggas lie like it’s the truth about what they say. About what they do. About what they want. About how they feel, but they the ones swear they real. Then they’ll say I got trust issues. That’s why I got trust issues. Niggas say I’m crazy, but I wasn’t that way ‘til I messed with you. Niggas say I’m crazy, but I wasn’t that way ‘til I messed with you.” I nodded to let Rell know that I was done. Before either of them said anything, I continued, “Or what about this… I gave that nigga my heart ‘cause I could tell that he was heartless, but I should have known right from the start that he would do me wrong. Now, I gotta use my heart less. Now, I wear a bulletproof vest over my chest since Cupid wanna use me, shoot me for his target practice.”

  “Mane, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Bishop asked, walking into the booth with me as Rell looked on and smiled.

  “If all you wanted to do was fuck, why you ain’t say that?” I screamed.

  “Mane, ain’t nobody on no hit it and quit it shit.”

  “Then, why haven’t I heard from you, Bishop? Last time I saw you, you were leaving me to go see Ashley.”

  His face softened as his anger subsided.

  “Yeah, I heard you on the phone with that bitch. Then, I don’t hear from you for a whole day? What you do? Leave me and go fuck her? Why couldn’t you just be honest nigga? If all you wanted was sex, you should have just said that.”

  “Kailani…” Grabbing my hands, Bishop stared deeply into my eyes. “Baby, it wasn’t like that. Yes, I stopped by her crib once I left you, but it was to end things with her completely and return her key. I left in less than five minutes and I haven’t talked to her since. The hell would I need with her or anyone else when I got you? I just got caught up in the streets. You know I just got out. Niggas was popping up left and right trying to catch up and I lost track of time. I promise I didn’t mean to have you in your feelings over some bullshit. It was never my intention to make it seem like it was just about the sex. It’s more than that to me with you. I apologize for not communicating with you and getting caught up, but I knew that you had a studio session today. I came by to surprise you and take you to lunch, even though you failed to tell me about it or even mention the fact that you were so talented.”

  I sighed heavily. I’d overreacted. I was too paranoid. Good dick would do that to you, I guess.

  “I’m sorry for spazzing on you, Bishop. I just…”

  “You don’t have to apologize, baby, and from here on out, I promise you’ll hear from me. Okay?”

  I nodded okay as he kissed my forehead lightly and wrapped his arms around me. Rubbing his cheeks with my thumbs, I looked into his eyes and anything that I thought I may have felt for Rell was gone.

  Bishop

  I knew Kai was gone trip about not hearing from a nigga all day, but I didn’t think she was gone go there with it. I didn’t think she cared that much. She had been acting so hard that I figured she wouldn’t notice a nigga wasn’t popping up. I watched her and Rell compose an instrumental to the poetry piece she wanted to freestyle. I was a lover of music, but that wasn’t my lane. That was all Rell and to be quite honest, I was kind of envious of their connection, not jealous. Folks got the two mixed up. Envious was when you wanted what someone else had. Jealousy was when you were afraid of someone taking what you had. There was no way in hell Kai was going to want anyone else after the way I’d put it on her the other night, but I wished I could’ve connected with her the way Rell was right now.

  I wasn’t an insecure nigga by any means so I decided to go outside to clear my head, but Kai stopped me immediately.

  “Where you going?” she asked me.

  “Just to get some fresh air.”

  “You can’t leave. The piece I’m about to do is for you.”

  I smiled. That was all I needed to hear to clear my mind. I sat back down and watched the smile that was originally on Rell’s face fade as he pulled his phone out. Kai stood and walked back into the booth. I couldn’t help but smack her ass on the way.

  “Stop, boy!” she yelled, covering the spot I’d just hit.

  “Yea yea,” I mumbled, grabbing the blunt me and Rell were sharing and taking a hit. When Rell started the track they’d just composed, she looked me dead in my eyes and started to freestyle her poem.

  Layyah

  When I say, I was surprised to see Courtney standing on my porch… I was surprised. We’d been keeping in contact over the years, but he failed to mention that he would be getting out soon. Yes, Kai was my best friend. Yes, I was dating Courtney’s cousin back in the day, but no one knew that Courtney took my virginity.

  I was at his house one day with him and his cousin and Mike fell asleep. I was getting ready to head out, so I went to Court’s bedroom to let him know that I was leaving. When I made it to the door, my mouth almost dropped when I saw what he was working with. He was jacking off, sitting on the edge of his bed. I didn’t want him to know that I saw him, but I must have gasped louder than I thought I did because he immediately looked up as I ran from the door. He ran after me and grabbed me lightly. I remember it like it was yesterday.

  “Lay… I’m…”

  “It’s cool. I should have knocked.”

  “Nah, I should have closed the door. I ain’t mean for you to see that. It’s just… you looking good today and then, I had to watch you and Mike mess around before he got high and fell asleep. I was horny as hell, obviously,” he said with a smile before looking me up and down. Blushing, I took a step back. He had me feeling some type of way. A way that his cousin Mike had never made me feel before.

  “You think I look good?” I heard myself ask.

  I didn’t know why it mattered. He wasn’t mine. He was Kai’s and she was my best friend.

  “Of course, Ma. You know you look good, Lay. Quit frontin’.”

  I blushed harder. I knew I looked good, but it was something about the way a man looked at you and told you, you’re beautiful sometimes. With the right man, you just… believe it. It was like you’re hearing it for the first time.

  “Thanks, Court. You, um, look good too.”

  This time, he blushed. “So, what was it that you wanted anyway?”

  “I was just coming to let you know that I was leaving since Mike fell asleep.”

  “You don’t have to leave yet. Kick it with me for a while. Smoke some wit’ me.”

  “Nah, I only smoke with Mike. It’s cool, though.”

  “Well, let me drive you home you don’t need to be walking by yourself.”

  He was right. It was dark and I didn’t n
eed to be walking by myself, so I agreed to just stay until Mike woke up. The last thing I needed was to be alone with him right now.

  “Well, I’ll just stay here until Mike wakes up, then he can take me home.”

  He looked at me skeptically. “What’s up, Lay? You don’t trust me or something?”

  “No, it’s not that at all, Court.”

  “Then, what is it? Why you acting funny?”

  “I’m not acting funny. I just don’t want to be alone with you.”

  “Then, you don’t trust me,” he spoke in an offended tone as he took a step back.

  “No, Courtney, damn. It’s not you I don’t trust.”

  “So who is that you don’t trust, Layyah?”

  “Myself.” I hung my head in shame, but I could see him smile.

  “You don’t trust yourself alone with me?” he asked lifting my head by my chin.

  “No, I don’t, especially not after what I just saw.”

  I jumped slightly when his hand caressed my face. He caught me off guard with all of this physical contact. Besides the occasional side hug, we’d never touched before.

  With his hand still resting on my face, he cupped my neck with the other and pulled me into his chest. Slowly, he leaned down and kissed my cheek.

  “Court… we can’t…” I whispered in fear. “Kai is my best friend and Mike is in the other room.”

  “Fuck them. It’s about you and me right now.”

  I didn’t want to be turned on, but I was. I didn’t want to get wet, but I did. His lips found mine as his hands slipped under my shirt. Covering my hands with his, he pulled them into his boxers and put them on his dick. He was much bigger than Mike. Mike and I had never had sex before, but I jacked him off and he fingered me a few times since I was a virgin. After pulling my hand up and down over his dick to show me how he wanted me to do it, he removed his hands from mine and let me do it on my own as he ended our kiss and hung his head back in ecstasy.