As Good as the First Time

by Altonya Washington

  “Juli—”

  “Don’t! You’re as sick and as tiny-minded as they are!” Leaning on her anger, she pushed off the sofa and bolted across the room to glare past the windows.

  “I love you, Julia. I swear I never stopped.”

  Tears spurted out of Julia’s eyes and rolled down her cheeks as she turned her face away from Cortez. She wanted to believe him and give in. Unfortunately, fear and hurt prevented her from doing that.

  Cortez walked up behind Julia, pulling her back against his solid, warm body. “Juli, now it’s my turn to beg for a chance,” he whispered into her ear, caressing the soft lobe with his lips.

  Julia felt her body respond instantly. Her entire body vibrated lightly as Cortez cupped her breasts in his hands. She fought the urge to move against him. But when his fingers brushed the moistening center of her bikini bottom, Julia knew she was about to give in. She stiffened in his arms and pushed his hands away from her body.

  “Go, Cortez.” Her voice was breathless from arousal.

  Nodding, he stroked the light beard covering his face and stepped away from her. He decided to give her space, for a while. He left his hotel name and number on the back of his card before leaving.

  Chapter 17

  Julia frowned when she saw the blaring, red numbers on her bedside clock. She couldn’t believe she was awake at 8:30 in the morning, when lately she had been rising around noon. Still, she pulled herself from the inviting, king-size four-poster bed. Her sleep had been interrupted several times that night by unnerving dreams. She just couldn’t get Cortez out of her mind. All night she dreamed of them making love. It seemed so real that she awoke many times to find herself moist from the vivid images. She woke up cursing herself for still thinking about him between her legs after all she’d gone through because of him.

  Shaking away her heated thoughts, Julia washed her face and brushed her teeth. Then she headed downstairs to the kitchen. Her objective was to fix breakfast, but the thought of Cortez’s surprise visit kept coming to mind. As she’d suspected, the engagement was a sham. Her thoughts were muddled yesterday, but now she could lock in on what she couldn’t say to him then. Hearing him confess it—he’d carried on the lie while she’d spent her nights guilt-ridden and calling herself every name in the book for interfering with his relationship with Renee. Then there was the topper: her supposed romp with Correll. Cortez was only there now because he’d discovered that that, too, was a lie, she thought.

  In spite of it all, Julia had to smile while adding peppers and onions to her omelet mixture. If only Cortez had waited on his brother to intervene, he’d have gotten rid of her without having to go to all the other trouble.

  Her amusement faded then and she leaned against the counter wearily. Therein lay the answer to all her questions about what to do with Cortez Wallace’s change of heart. Had she slept with his brother, willingly or not, he’d have never forgiven her the way he was asking her to do with regards to his own actions. Simply put: the man she loved would never be able to trust her word.

  Julia continued to think about this as she cooked breakfast. She was removing the cheese hash browns from the stove when the doorbell rang. Frowning, she tightened the belt around her short, silk mauve robe and left the kitchen.

  When she peeked out and saw Cortez on the porch, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. Sighing, she pressed her head against the door. I don’t need this. If he keeps coming here, I’ll give in.

  Her silent words were interrupted when the doorbell rang again. Bracing herself, she pulled the door open.

  “Good morning.” Cortez greeted her with, a devilish grin brightening his very attractive face.

  “What now?”

  Cortez’s heavenly brown eyes narrowed for an instant. “Grouchy in the morning, aren’t you?”

  Julia propped her hand on her hip as her eyebrows rose. “Well, you wouldn’t know how I am in the morning, would you?”

  Cortez propped his tall, lean frame against the door and towered over her. “Not lately. But that’s something I hope to change,” he softly assured her.

  Julia’s heart flew to her throat and she stepped back. “What do you want, Cortez?”

  His expression turned helpless. “You know what I want.”

  Julia turned away and Cortez took that as his cue to enter the house.

  “Are you cooking?”

  Julia slammed her door shut. “Yeah, breakfast. For myself.”

  “Would you like some company?”

  Julia didn’t respond, though the look in her black eyes screamed no, She watched him walk through her home as though he owned it. “My kitchen isn’t upstairs,” she told him when he made a move in that direction.

  He waited for her to lead the way. When she walked past him he pushed his hands into the pockets of the black nylon jogging pants he wore and trained his gaze on her slender form. The material of her robe wasn’t skin-tight, but it did offer an arousing outline of her bottom. A grin cast a sinister element across his face as he dismissed what ran through his mind. Their sex life had never been an issue and would never be until other, real issues were settled. Once they were in the kitchen, though, the delicious scents caught his attention again and he commented favorably.

  “Listen, Cortez, I don’t know what the hell you expect from me now, but you can forget it.” Julia said, ignoring his sunny disposition. “So you can just save all this new-found interest.”

  Cortez sighed and dropped his head. “I’ve always been interested in you,” he said, raising his warm, chocolate smile to her face. “I admit it. I was fooling myself. I couldn’t face the fact that I missed you, and when you came back to town I was so angry because you being there was making it impossible for me to deny that.”

  Julia turned back to the stove and began to melt extra cheese for her omelet. “And you just had to deny it because I was the one who left, right?”

  Cortez shrugged his wide shoulders beneath the stylish, lightweight gray sweatshirt he wore. “Because you were right. You were right all along.”

  Julia threw down her spoon and pinned Cortez with an accusing glare. “You know what? Save it. I’m done. Finally, I’m done. This. Us. It’s done. I can’t do this to myself anymore.”

  Cortez leaned against the counter and looked down at her. “I can’t walk away Juli, so please don’t tell me to.”

  Julia watched him through her tears. “Then maybe you’ll understand what it’s been like for me.”

  When she bolted, preparing to leave the kitchen, his reflexes kicked in. He caught her arm, keeping it behind her back. She gasped, giving him the opportunity to thrust his mouth upon hers.

  Her legs turned to liquid and she moaned beneath the deep, sensuous caress. If possible, the kiss intensified and Julia arched herself into Cortez’s lean, muscular frame.

  “Wait, Cortez…” Julia weakly resisted, when he broke the kiss to let his lips trail her neck. “Wait.” She began to struggle against him.

  Cortez let go of Julia’s arm and slid both of his around her waist. It seemed surprisingly effortless, considering Julia’s determination to get away from him. A pained smile pulled at his mouth in response to her fighting to push him off. Ignoring that, he buried his face into the cleft of her breasts and inhaled her scent.

  At that moment, Julia wanted Cortez more than she ever did. She just couldn’t allow herself to give in, but fighting didn’t seem to be working. It was like pitting wind against a tree, so she used a different tactic.

  “Cortez, please stop this. I can’t fight you, but I can’t do this.”

  She was right. Damn it all. She was right. He needed to leave before he forgot that. Releasing her slowly, he nuzzled her temple and did as she’d asked.

  Julia felt the heat of his body leave hers. She closed her eyes and refused to cry.

  Chapter 18

  Julia never looked forward to Mondays. Still, she felt surprisingly optimistic when she stepped into the corridor of her office that morning
. She decided to view that Monday as a beginning in much the same way she’d decided to look at her whole life—one big, new beginning. With any hope, Cortez was realizing this wouldn’t be the easy win he’d expected and go home. She’d successfully pushed to the back of her mind the voice that kept reminding her that she loved him and needed to stop denying it.

  The hall was gloriously void of bodies and gave Julia another cause for celebration. No need to stop and make morning conversation about who did what and where for the weekend. She floated into her office, the flaring hem of her figure-flattering mushroom silk dress accentuating her legs. She slung her tote to the settee near her desk and then settled in to begin checking her e-mails and phone messages. The thought of coffee crossed her mind and Julia figured it’d be best to get it before the rest of the office began filing in. She was still standing behind the desk when the office door opened and Lexi poked her head inside.

  “Hey, Ken wanted you in his office ten minutes ago.”

  “What for?” Julia made no move to hasten her steps.

  Lexi’s shrug caused her ponytail to swing merrily. “No idea, but he’s in there with all the guys, including Mr. Wallace.”

  Refusing to react to that bit of info, Julia began to make her way to the front of the office. She ignored the curiosity in her assistant’s eyes and held her head high as she made her way to Kenrick Owen’s office suite. She was fighting to hold onto her sunny Monday outlook, but a tiny niggling was starting to eat away at the edges of that outlook. Looking on the sunny side, Julia decided it was better to get the crap out of the way early. That way she could look forward to a full day of great things, right?

  When she got to Ken’s office, knocked once and stepped inside, she had confirmation that the crap would be falling hard and heavy at length that day. Ken was laughing.

  “Julia! We were just about to take a drive to your place and deliver the news!”

  “What news?” Her dark eyes were fixed on Cortez standing across the room.

  Bennett Daniels walked over to bring Julia into the office. He eased her into one of the deep armchairs before the stunning pine desk and patted her back in a subtly reassuring manner.

  “Our man Cortez has accepted our job offer,” Ken announced.

  Julia was grateful for the chair. She only blinked, desperate to stop the urge to bristle at the look in his smoky stare. Those warm brown orbs held a glint that confirmed he knew she was livid.

  The guys were thrilled, of course. Kenrick was going on about meetings and deciding on debut show tapings and the like. Julia couldn’t take it, and, feeling sick amidst all the chatter, she rushed out moments later with her hand clamped over her mouth.

  Cortez wasn’t far behind.

  Julia commended herself on fending off the nausea until she made it home. She didn’t bother closing the front door behind her but raced to the closest bathroom and cursed herself viciously when the sickness never materialized. She stumbled from the bath, making a halfhearted attempt at closing her door and frowning when the lock didn’t catch. She stiffened when she discovered why.

  “Get out.” She rolled her eyes and strolled from the foyer on surprisingly strong legs. “Go brainstorm ideas for your new show.”

  Cortez shut the front door and followed the path she took to the kitchen. There he leaned on one side of the arched doorway and watched her guzzle two glasses of tap water. His gaze was hooded as he studied her intently. They needed to talk, really talk, but he’d finally accepted that for him that would be impossible. He couldn’t think straight until he had her.

  Julia bristled the instant she felt his hands cupping her waist. Moments later he turned her around. Lifting her without effort, he placed her on the countertop. He made quick work of the button-down top of the curve-hugging dress she’d chosen for the day. Once the tiny row of pearl buttons was undone, he brought his persuasive lips to the valley between her breasts. Strong teeth tugged at the front of Julia’s dress, as it was pulled away to reveal her breasts.

  Cortez leaned back and traced the round, flawless dark globes with his glorious, talented tongue. He licked his lips before settling them to the tip of one mound. Closing his eyes, he savored the sweet, unfamiliar taste of her skin.

  Julia’s weak cry filled the kitchen when she felt his passionate tugging at her nipples. She arched her back, pushing more of herself into Cortez’s hot mouth.

  Cortez moaned when he felt the slight movement. Pushing the dress fully away from her shoulders, his fingers caressed her bare skin and pulled her even closer.

  Shivers of delight danced along Julia’s spine and she gasped. Throwing her head back, she threw her doubts and caution and questions aside. She was sick of fighting and ready to take what she wanted.

  Cortez lowered his hands to Julia’s thighs and squeezed their luscious length. He pushed against her dress hem and stockings until they became too much of a hindrance and were discarded. Julia squirmed against the countertop as Cortez took turns suckling the firm tips of her breasts. He mimicked the action of soothing her nipples with his tongue by caressing her through the drenched middle of her panties with both of his thumbs. He soon pulled the wispy lace away. His fingers sank into her well and he groaned into Julia’s neck.

  When Cortez pulled her off the counter, Julia was helpless to do anything but cling to him. She locked her long legs around his back, aching to feel as much of his impressive erection as possible.

  “Where?”

  “Upstairs,” Julia moaned, shivering from the air touching her nude body and the deep timbre of his voice.

  Cortez chuckled and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. “Where upstairs?”

  “Last door on the left,” she softly instructed, as her head dropped to his shoulder.

  Julia couldn’t have cared less where Cortez set her down as long as he made love to her. He took the plush, carpeted stairs two at a time, quickly approaching the bedroom. He didn’t bother with the lamp, using the sunlight streaming around the drawn tan drapes in the room to find his way.

  Gently, he placed Julia in the center of the bed. For a moment, he watched her.

  Then, in one smooth movement, he pulled off his charcoal suit coat and silver-gray shirt. Julia’s slanted gaze widened at his chiseled muscular chest and abdomen.

  Cortez braced himself on his steely forearms and began to place moist, baby-soft kisses on Julia’s feet. His tongue traced the smooth line of her calf, stopping to nibble at the soft skin behind her knee.

  Julia gasped and arched her body off the bed. “Cortez!”

  “Mmm?” He absently replied, kissing her inner thigh. “What?” he asked teasingly, this time his breath beating against her sex.

  “Promise not to stop,” Julia moaned, unashamed.

  “I hadn’t planned to,” he assured her, just before his tongue plunged deep inside her. He was like a man starved for the taste of her as he drank from the center of her body.

  When the pleasure became unbearable, Julia tried to close her legs. Cortez wouldn’t allow it. He pressed his large hands across her thighs to hold them apart. After a while he moved on, trailing the kisses farther up her body and stopping at her belly button.

  Julia wasn’t used to playing such a passive role in bed, but with Cortez it felt so good. Every stroke of his tongue and hands made her breathless with want.

  His hands on her thighs made it impossible to move, and the pleasure consumed her more powerfully as a result. He intermingled the ragged thrusts of his tongue inside her body with wet kisses slathered across her inner thighs. Julia cried out shamelessly, rolling her head to and fro as her breath staggered. She brought her hands to her chest and squeezed her breasts wantonly. Her helpless cries ended in a pleasure-filled shriek when Cortez bit softly on one of the silken folds guarding her femininity.

  Thoroughly enraptured, Julia had no choice but to lie there and take whatever Cortez chose to give her. It was a choice she was happy to accept. That acceptance, however, beckoned her
climax all the more quickly and powerfully. Satisfied by her reaction, Cortez pulled back to watch her in the throes of the ecstasy he’d caused. He removed what remained of his clothing and returned to the bed. where he shuddered in pleasure at the feel of her body naked and trembling next to his.

  Once protection was in place, his lips fastened onto the pouting tips of her breasts, and he pushed one knee between her legs. Again, he gripped her thighs and held them apart. A ragged groan was torn from his chest as he slowly thrust himself inside.

  Julia pulled her lower lip between her teeth and savored the feel of her tight heat gripping the sensuous length of his sex. Very slowly she began to move against him and gasped at the sensation.

  “Don’t move,” Cortez ordered, squeezing her hips while hiding his face in her neck. Apparently he was savoring the delicious feel of her femininity surrounding him, as well.

  Julia obeyed the soft command and waited for Cortez to take the lead. When he did, she instantly joined in on the pleasurable task.

  Soft cries and deep moans filled the room as their lovemaking became more forceful. Julia couldn’t believe it was happening after all this time. Cortez knew nothing would ever compare.

  Julia left for work before Cortez woke the next morning. She wouldn’t admit that cowardice had anything to do with her eagerness to get a jump on the day. At the office, she plunged into work, which included a few preliminary ideas Kenrick had left regarding the new show with Cortez. She was already deep into jotting notes for an upcoming meeting of the first taping when Lexi stuck her head past the office door.

  Julia waved her inside. A suspicious frown crept across her face at the sight of Lexie’s huge grin. When Cortez followed the woman inside the office, Julia’s suspicion was confirmed.