Ruining You

by Nicole Reed

  Seeing a human-bullet heading my way out of the corner of my eye, I mutter, “Too late.” Looking down, I say, “Hey Kane.” His green eyes drop to my boots before slowly rising until they reach my face. The appreciation in his eyes makes me shudder. His desire is tangible.

  “Hi, Jay,” he says, narrowing his eyes at my hand holding Eli’s.

  Eli shakes my hand free and reaches out. “Hi, I’m Eli. Jay’s ‘gay’ friend.”

  Turning back towards Eli, I give him an exaggerated eye-roll before facing Kane.

  Kane’s face is almost completely relaxed now, and he even has a slight smile on his lips. Shaking Eli’s hand, he says, “Kane. Jay’s ‘straight’ friend.” He and Eli look at each other before bursting into peals of laughter.

  “Real funny guys. Laugh it up.” I glance around to see Kane’s date looking a little lost without him at the bar, so I sarcastically ask, “Lose something, Kane?”

  Giving me a scorching sexy smile, he replies, “Not yet.”

  Crossing my arms across my chest, I shake my head at his answer.

  “What?”

  Nodding my head towards the bimbo at the bar, I look at the expression of shock on his face.

  “Shit,” he utters.

  Wow, it seems like he really did forget about her. Brunettes one, blondes zero.

  Finally spotting him, she starts to walk our way. Kane stands there like a deer in headlights. This is going to be awkward and probably painful. Damn...double damn. When she reaches us, she smiles a 100-watt smile.

  “Hi,” she says in a tiny voice.

  Mr. Personality behind me pipes up, “Hey. This is Jay, and I’m Eli.”

  I squeeze out a smile, which given the circumstances, is a win.

  “Kate,” she says, glancing at Kane.

  Looking directly at me, she grabs his arm as if claiming her prize. Well, this just reached a whole new level of messed up.

  Smiling at me, she asks, “Do you like The Mavs? I love them. They are one of my favorite bands. I had to drag Kane here to hear them.”

  Okay, I wish I could act like an adult and be the “bigger-person”, but I’m not. Looking directly in Kane’s eyes, I answer, “Yeah, I used to date the lead singer. In fact, he invited me here tonight.”

  Thank God for Rhye, because at that moment, he walks out on the stage with his guitar hanging around his chest. The crowd has grown, and it’s a packed house. Shading his eyes, I can see him looking out over the crowd. “How’s everybody tonight?” Cheers fill the bar. “Alright. Who’s ready to hear The Mavs play the hell out of some music?” Again, the screams echo off the walls. “Let’s go!” he yells, starting to play one of their original songs.

  I forgot how commanding and sexy he is on stage. Very, very sexy, but he’s not half as sexy as the man standing to my lower left. About three songs in, the moment I had been waiting for, and subsequently dreading, happens.

  “Where’s my girl?” Of course, all the females yell to him. “Hey guys, lower the stage lights for a second.”

  Once the lights dim, he looks out over the crowd and finally spots me. “Ah, there she is.” Pointing his

  Index finger at me, he turns it up and beckons me to him. “Come here, Jay.”

  Ah, what the hell. I’ll see this to the end. Stepping down off of the platform, I make my way to the stage.

  He sits down on the edge with his guitar. Handing the microphone to me, he says, “Here hold this for me.

  I wrote the next song for the lovely lady standing in front of me. It’s called, ‘One More Night’.”

  Playing several chords on his guitar, he looks deep into my eyes.

  “We’ve known this day was coming

  You’ve had me locked down, locked tight,

  Too many years of waiting, watching

  Dreaming of your body, all-day, all-night.

  I wasn’t the one you wanted

  And he doesn’t know you like I do,

  But the time for us has come

  To see this thing through.”

  He sings only to me. Blocked by his words, the world around us disappears. In between verses, he leans closer, almost as if he is going to kiss me. I feel his hot breath on my mouth, but he pulls back before our lips touch.

  “You can say that you hate me

  As your eyes devour me tonight,

  Tell me you don’t care

  When you know it feels so right.

  If you need someone to blame

  For the lust that burns too bright,

  Just hit me, hate me, damn me,

  But please let me have one more night.

  So if you need someone to blame

  For the lust that burns too bright,

  Just hit me, hate me, damn me

  ‘Cause we both know it’ll only be one more night.”

  When the last chord plays, the crowd goes wild. My knees threaten to collapse, and I bet there is not a dry-panty in the place. That was sex in a song, and his voice, oh my, that deep sexy voice is tantalizing.

  When he leans in again, I know he intends to kiss me. Feeling the sudden need to catch my breath, I quickly turn my head and avoid his lips.

  He just laughs and grabs the microphone to stand up. Taking a sip of water, he says, “Here’s to hot chicks that give great inspiration.” All the guys cheer, and the girls snicker. Rolling my eyes at him, I turn to walk back. The real world floods in around me once again, and I glance up to see Kane seething. Kate looks impressed, and Eli looks at me like I’ve done something incredibly stupid.

  When I reach them, Kane grabs my arm and drags me away. I look back to a confused Kate who is speaking with Eli. Opening a side door, he pulls me into a dark alley and pushes me up against a brick wall. Cushioning my head with one of his hands, he pins me with his muscle hard body and presses one of his thighs between mine.

  “He better be glad he didn’t lay a fucking hand on you,” his sultry voice threatens.

  I am mesmerized by the two dimples carved into his cheeks.

  “I’m done trying to be the nice guy. I’ve given you plenty enough time to come to me, but you haven’t. What do you do? You go to Rhye.”

  Fisting my hair, he snaps my head back. I forcedly look up at him as he sneers, “Do you want him, Jay?”

  Shaking my head, I’m tired of pushing him away while wishing he was mine. If he’s not going anywhere, then I’m going to claim him.

  Reaching my hands up to cradle both sides of his face, I hold him still and stare into his emerald orbs. Rubbing my heat up and down his thigh, I try to extinguish the fire that is building, burning, and now, blazing. My nipples draw tight, aching with an emptiness that only he can fill. Taking the tip of my tongue, I place it into the crater that one dimple creates and move it to the other side to do the same.

  A guttural groan escapes him, and his hand tightens in my hair, exposing my neck. Placing his mouth in the middle of my throat, he beings to suck. The gentle open-mouth suction causes my body to tighten like a vice. I whimper, not from the pain, but from the intense pleasure that spreads throughout my body.

  Bringing my lips to his, I whisper into his mouth, “Touch me, Kane.” Sticking my wet tongue out, I trace his lips before letting it slip inside his mouth and out again.

  “Fuck,” he gasps as a quake racks his body. The intensity of the moment claims us as we ravage each other’s mouths. Lip to lip and tongue to tongue, he breathes for me. Reaching down with his large hands, he pulls up the hem of my dress and grabs my ass. A low moan flows from me. The brick wall scrapes my back as he lifts me to step deeper between my thighs. It’s a welcome pain.

  Wrapping my arms around his neck, I anchor myself to him. My lips fall from his for only a second before he grunts in displeasure and reconnects with me again. I feel his fingers tickle the inside of one thigh as they move closer to where my inner fire burns. The anticipation fuels the inferno within me, making my blood boil and leaving me panting for him. He traces the outer edge of my panties wi
th his finger, and I lose it.

  Tearing my mouth from his, I beg, “Please. Kane, please.” I don’t realize that I’m crying until my vision becomes cloudy and I feel the tears slide down my face. Closing my eyes, I feel miraculously and marvelously alive. This is what you live for -- these all-consuming moments with the person that makes everything, including heaven and hell, worth it.

  The sound of the door opening and banging loudly against the brick wall pulls me out of his spell. In a loud over-exaggerated voice, I hear Eli say, “I don’t think they would have come out here, it’s way too freaking cold. They would be idiots.”

  I didn’t notice the cold two seconds ago, but now I do. I try to drop my legs down and regain my wits, but Kane makes it almost impossible.

  Trying to reclaim my lips, he leaves kisses all over my face and softly mutters, “No, don’t move. Don’t ever move.”

  “Kane, someone is coming.”

  He finally realizes what is happening and drops back. Thank God he still is holding onto me because I would have fallen to the ground.

  His date walks around the corner of the door with eyes wide. I’m sure it’s plain to see what is going on. Kane’s lips are swollen, and his clothes are mussed. I would almost bet that my image mirrors his. Eli walks up behind her.

  “Wow, there you guys are. We’ve been looking everywhere for you two. Were you able to help her find her cellphone? Hopefully, you did. Outside. On a cold windy night.” Eli is obviously trying to cover for us; however, he sucks at it.

  I’m not sure what I should say. Inside I’m screaming, “He’s mine bitch!” but I can’t say that because he might not be mine. He could be hers, which would totally suck and be my fault for letting him go.

  Crossing her arms across her ample chest, she says in her annoyingly baby voice, “I’m ready to leave, Kane.”

  He looks at me as he answers, “Ok. I can take you home if you give me a couple of minutes.”

  I hear her huff as she turns around and walks back inside.

  Eli shakes his head at me, “Jay, just F.Y.I., Rhye is finishing up his set right now.”

  “Thanks, Eli. I’m coming right in.” My voice begins to shiver from the cold now that I’ve lost Kane’s body heat.

  “Eli, if you can give us five minutes. Please explain to Rhye that Jay had to leave. Then, if you will, escort Kate and meet us in the parking lot. I would appreciate it,” Kane says, turning to me. “Does that work for you?”

  I nod, not quite trusting my voice yet. Grabbing my hand, Kane drags me around the corner to the parking lot. I immediately spot his car. Opening the passenger door, he helps me in before going around to his side. Turning the heat on high, he reaches for me and brings my mouth to his. There is not much room to move in a compact car.

  Between kisses he says, “I have to take her home.”

  Pulling away, I have to know, so I ask, “Do you care about her?”

  “No,” he replies. “First date was tonight, and it wasn’t going well even before you. Did you come to see Rhye?”

  I was wondering if he was going to ask me about that. “Yes. I tried to let you go. Tonight I was trying to move on. I didn’t want to think, just to feel.” I owe him my honesty.

  Shaking his head, he looks away. “Did you at least come here with Eli tonight?”

  “Yes. The thing with Rhye, well, nothing has happened. I don’t think it was ever meant to.”

  “Yeah, I got that from his song. Attraction is a bitch sometimes.” He looks at me and asks, “What I want to know is do you want to be with him?”

  “No.”

  “Do you want to be with me?”

  Taking a deep breath, I slowly let it out, “Yes. I’m tired of pushing you away. I wanted you to have something or someone better, and I hated it. You tell me you need to figure out your feelings, and then you say I need to figure out my own problems. Well, I want to move on. I’m ready, and I’m tired of trying to give you up if you aren’t going to leave. So if you want me, say it. Don’t make me play this guessing game anymore.”

  “Are you kidding me?!? I’ve all but spelled it out.”

  “Spelled what out?”

  A streetlamp shines through the windshield and illuminates half of his face. The intense look in his eye should scare me, but it brings me hope, especially when accompanied by his words. “That I want you to care for me the way I care about you. I fell for a damaged girl that had seen the same hell that I had and experienced the depth of loss that many can never understand. We might have been brought together by our pain, but somewhere along the way, it all became about you. I want to live my life showing you the things to live for and the things you can’t live without because I already know that I can’t live without you. I’ve tried, and it sucks.”

  Nodding my head, I don’t answer with my mouth because I’m too busy using it on him. Sliding my fingers around his neck as I press my lips against his, I show him how much his words mean to me. A knock against his darkly tinted window interrupts us.

  Kane pulls back and looks into my eyes. “One day, we are going to be somewhere where there will be no interruptions, and God help you then, Jay.” He pulls me to him one last time, kissing me deeply as his mouth devours mine. Another knock sounds, and Kane curses.

  He opens his door, gets out, and closes it behind him. Touching my lips where his just left mine, I think to myself what the hell just happened? He wants to be with me. Oh my God...he does care about me. My heart rate accelerates, and I can’t keep the smile from spreading across my face. Eli opens my door.

  “Time to go, Cinderella. Your prince charming is being bitched at by the wicked stepsister, and he wants me to get you home.”

  I step out of the car and turn to see Kane getting fussed out by his date. Like a gentleman, he listens, but he spares me a wink. She stops, turning to look at me, and then starts back at him.

  Pulling me away, Eli says, “He’s got that under control. He said he would see you tomorrow.”

  As we head home, I anticipate what will happen when I see him next. All I know is that I can hardly wait.

  The next morning, I wake early, anticipating the day. Grabbing my phone, I look to see if I have any text messages and I do, but not from him.

  Molly – Call me. Your mom said you went out last night. Details. :)

  Rhye – You confuse the shit out of me.

  Eli told me that he spoke to Rhye last night. He said Rhye looked at him, shook his head, and walked away. I have to talk to him. I dial his number, but without a ring, it goes to voicemail. Rolling out of bed and wearing my shirt and shorts that I slept in, I head downstairs. Sliding the hair tie from my wrist, I pull my hair back into a ponytail as I walk into the kitchen.

  Eli is sitting at the bar watching my mom cook pancakes, and Kane is sitting at the breakfast table drinking coffee. Kane....is sitting...in my kitchen…smiling at me. Holy shit. He takes my breath away. Freezing, I take him in with his t-shirt and jeans on. I can see his arm tattoos, and it looks like he’s added a few. He looks better than ever, in fact, he looks better because he is mine.

  “See something you like?” he jokingly asks.

  Looking over at my mother, I see her smiling at me. Nodding her head towards him and giving me her blessing, she turns around. I don’t think twice. I run to him, fling myself into his lap, and hug him tightly. Sitting across his lap, I don’t feel comfortable kissing him in front of my mother, but I can’t stop touching him, reassuring myself that he is really here. With me.

  “Yes, I see everything I’ve ever wanted,” I whisper.

  His arms tighten around me as his lips lean into mine, but I shake my head and nod towards my mother cooking at the stove.

  “Now why didn’t I get a good morning greeting like that? No love, I tell you,” Eli comments.

  “Get your own,” Kane says, smiling.

  Looking at him and not believing he’s here this early, I ask, “What are you doing here?”

  “Getting re
ady to eat pancakes. Your mom said they’re your favorite.”

  I shake my head at him. He knows what I’m asking.

  “Well, last night I got Eli’s number, and I told him to text me as soon as he was up. I called this morning offering to bring breakfast, but your mom said she was cooking and invited me to eat.”

  I just stare at him, because he still not answering what I want to know and what I desperately need to hear.

  Shyly he grins at me, emphasizing his dimples, and my heart melts. “You Jay, I came for you.”

  One kiss, one small kiss, has to be allowable. Peeking to make sure my mother is not looking, I press my mouth to his and quickly pull back with his lips trailing mine. Pressing my fingers against his mouth, I let my eyes make promises that I plan to keep.

  “Jay, will you help me set the table?” my mother asks.

  Kane reluctantly lets me go but not before he swipes one more kiss.

  Breakfast is lively between Kane and Eli. Turns out, they have a lot in common. Kane had taken some college courses in architectural design and that’s something Eli is interested in. Eli is also looking ahead for a summer job, and Kane thinks that he and Cole could possibly hire him for their construction company.

  When everyone is finished, my mother starts to clear the table when she looks at Eli and asks, “Eli, could you give us a minute? I need to speak to Kane and Jay alone.”

  He smiles at my mom and replies, “Sure, Mrs. Stevenson.”

  Looking at me, he says, “Going up to get my shower.”

  What could my mother possibly want? Kane looks at me and shrugs his shoulders.

  Sitting down across from me, she looks at both of us. “Kane, I was so happy this morning when you informed me that you and Jay are going to work on things between you. Jay, my heart swelled when you walked in and saw him. Your eyes lit up, and I can’t tell you how happy it made me to see you genuinely smile. You know, your father and I have come to love Kane, and we support you both, but there is something I would like each of you to promise me.”

  According to the look of apprehension on her face, this can’t be good.