In It to Win It

by Ella Jade

  A horse blocked by one of the round bales stepped out. White with brown splotches dotting its coat, it leveled a pale blue and mistrustful eye on her, the other eye appeared to be missing. Though fat and as well-cared for as the others, it had the look of an animal that had once known brutal times. But something besides pity settled inside of Kelly. She sucked in a hard breath as an icy chill spread through her. The horse took a step toward her, moving its head, trying to see her better.

  “No,” Kelly hissed through her teeth. “No, it couldn’t be.”

  She pushed between the group circling her, trying to get a better look. The outside horse jerked its head up and snorted.

  She knew this animal—how could she ever forget it?—and she wanted to throw up.

  How could he?

  She strode toward the gate, needing to escape the field. Needing answers from Dustin.

  He stood at the gate, but when she reached him, words clogged her throat.

  “Kelly, I can explain.”

  Tears glazed her eyes, and Kelly swiped them with an angry hand.

  “How… Why?” she managed. Wretched pain filled her to overflowing. “Why would you do this?”

  “I… I had to, angel.”

  A racking sob shook her, but she batted Dustin’s hands away when he tried to take her in his arms. In her mind’s eye it all played out again. Keith aboard the white and brown spotted bronc named Demon, flopping about like a rag doll, the bucking horse’s pale blue eyes glowing with hate. Keith falling off, the bronc stomping him. Killing him.

  Dustin had the monster that had killed her brother.

  Chapter 7

  His secret was out. Dustin knew Kelly would react, but he had no idea the agony it would cause her. In her eyes he saw her loss, fresh as it had been the day it’d happened. He’d do anything to give her brother back to her.

  “How could you take this monster in?” she asked between sobs.

  Dustin felt helpless and wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms. He moved toward her, but she staggered away from him.

  “No!” she shouted. “What’s wrong with you?”

  Why had he taken in Demon? He’d had good reasons, but they were muddied now that he saw how much it’d hurt Kelly.

  “Five years ago I heard he’d ended up in Bastrop,” Dustin began. “I went to see him. I wanted to see him, I wanted to put to rest that terrible day. I blamed the horse as much as I blamed myself. But when I saw him there, skin and bones with a missing eye and a swollen leg, I… I couldn’t leave him there, Kelly. It’s Bastrop, you know that’s the end of the line for any horse.”

  Kelly’s eyes shined with tears. “He’s the monster that killed Keith. Don’t you even care about that?”

  Dustin took a deep, steadying breath, praying he could make her see things his way. “No, Kelly, angel, he’s just an animal. An animal that did what it was trained to do. I couldn’t leave him there. No horse deserves that fate, not after everything they give us. You run your rescue for the same reasons, to keep them out of places like Bastrop. I pulled him out, along with that draft horse out there and a couple of others. It started me on the path to taking in retired horses.”

  Kelly stood before him, sobbing silently, refusing to meet his eyes.

  “I changed his name to Monty,” he said. “He’s helped me make peace with things.”

  He waited, he could see the battle Kelly waged with herself. He could see she wanted to open her mind to his reasons, yet all that old pain made it hard. He knew, because he’d done the same thing himself the day he’d visited the kill pens and found Demon.

  “Did it even matter to you that Keith died trying to be just like you?” Kelly asked.

  “Yes. He was my best friend, you know that. I beat myself up every day over it. I still beat myself up over it, but I had to get on with my life the same as you, angel.”

  “Really?” Anger replaced the pain in her voice. “Really? But you saved the horse that killed my brother? Why didn’t you just let the thing die there?”

  Dustin swallowed hard. He’d never heard Kelly sound so cold. Not since she’d dropped his promise ring at his feet and walked out of his life. “You don’t mean that,” he said. “Deep down I don’t think you mean that.”

  “What? You think I should show compassion for that animal? I think it’s evil. I think the devil was in it that day.”

  At that moment Dustin realized the losing battle he fought. “No, he’s just a trained animal. You know that.”

  Tension filled the silence that stretched between them. Then he asked the question that had haunted him since the day he’d seen her again. “Can you forgive me, Kelly? Can you forgive me for what happened to Keith?”

  She stared at the ground. Finally, she shook her head. “I don’t think I can do this, Dustin,” she said, her voice raw with emotion.

  “Do what?” Dustin asked, fearing what her answer would be.

  “This. Us.”

  She met his gaze. Suddenly, it was a decade ago and he was standing in the hospital waiting room, having just heard the worst possible news, that his best friend was dead. She was holding his heart in her hands again, ready to break him into a million pieces.

  “I can’t be involved with you, Dustin. This has all been a mistake.”

  * * * *

  He tried to convince himself that Kelly just needed some time. But days passed after their fight, days of her ignoring his texts and calls. Until finally he couldn’t take it anymore. He climbed into his truck and drove over to her house, hoping to catch her before she headed to the barn. He was a nervous wreck as he walked up to her door and knocked.

  He plastered on his bravest face, but when the door opened, the earth dropped from beneath his feet.

  “Can I help you?” a man asked, dressed only in a t-shirt and boxer shorts.

  “Uh,” Dustin began, looking inside the house for some sign of Kelly. “Is Kelly here?”

  “She’s in the shower. Who are you?” the man countered.

  “I’m a friend,” Dustin said, straightening to his full height, giving him several inches over the stranger. “Who are you?”

  “Tom. I’m sure she’s told you about me. I fear she hasn’t told me a thing about who you could be, friend.”

  Anger laced his jealousy, but Dustin kept his head.

  “I’ll catch Kelly later,” he said, before turning on his heel and stomping back to his truck. Beating her ex-husband to a pulp wouldn’t do him a bit of good. Especially if she’d decided to take the bastard back.

  * * * *

  Lack of sleep left Kelly in a foul mood. Tom certainly didn’t help matters either. She’d let him stay overnight, but he’d been at her place for a week now. It hadn’t helped he’d shown up when she was bawling her head off over Dustin. All things considered, he wasn’t a total louse, and he’d let her cry it out on his shoulder. But that’s all that had happened, even if Tom seemed to want it to mean more.

  Though, admittedly, it helped having another human in her home while she both analyzed and avoided her feelings about Dustin and what he’d done. Buying the horse that had killed her brother seemed so outrageous she couldn’t comprehend it when she’d first found out. Now, she knew he was right. The horse had only done what it’d been trained to do. Blaming it would be like blaming a car for a car wreck. Keith had been told the risks, even if he’d been foolhardy and ignored them. He’d made the decision to get on Demon.

  But could Kelly forgive Dustin for encouraging such a stupid decision? The million-dollar question. After sleepless nights pondering it, she still wasn’t sure. She couldn’t face Dustin, but God, it hurt not seeing him. He’d become a part of her life, and this time she didn’t have fresh emotional wounds for distraction. Just an old ache that seemed so much less than what she now felt for Dustin.

  She loved him. She had never not loved him. Even while married to Tom she’d loved Dustin. Even with a decade of absence between them, she’d loved him all the same.
So now what could she do? The only thing left for her to do. She left the barn, climbed into her SUV, and drove down the road. Dustin’s truck was gone, so she parked and sat inside the security of her cab, looking out toward the field of retired horses.

  “It’s now or never I guess,” she said, cutting the engine and getting out.

  Her feet felt like lead as she walked to the gate and went inside the pasture. Familiar nickering greetings filled the air, and the friendly cluster of horses made its way toward her. All but one, Demon...he watched her suspiciously. To be able to forgive Dustin, she’d have to first forgive this old, half-blind horse that warily kept its distance.

  “It’s okay, boy,” she said aloud. “We met once, but I’m sure I was just another face in the crowd to you.”

  She kept her posture relaxed and non-threatening, keeping her gaze soft, and her head turned to the side. The icy spot she’d felt for the animal shifted. Everything about the horse told a sad story. He’d been through God knew what, and despite Dustin’s kindness, he couldn’t trust strangers. She’d seen it before, in Thoroughbreds that’d suffered rough handling.

  Demon moved slowly, with a slight limp, his good eye on her. The pale blue wasn’t filled with cold hate, only curiosity. Kelly stuck her hand in her pocket where she had some carrots.

  “I think you and I need to have a chat,” she said to the horse. “We need to make peace.”

  She stopped several yards away. Her horse entourage stopped behind her, sensing she had goodies to give out. Her heart pounded. Keith’s terrified face popped to mind. She shut her eyes tight, feeling tears wash down her cheeks. How could she put it behind her? Those horrific memories playing out in her mind’s eye seemed to be all she had left of her twin brother. When she tried to recall happier days with him, always the awful specter of his death got in the way.

  “Keith,” she whispered, unable to open her eyes and look at the beast in the field. “I miss you so, so much. I don’t know how to let you go. It’s not fair. It’s not fair.”

  She sobbed, twisted inside out as she relived the loss of her brother. A soft rush of warm breath brushed over her face. Kelly opened her eyes, surprised to see Demon in front of her. He blew out a long sigh then gave her a gentle nudge. She wrapped her arms around the horse’s neck, burying her face in his mane, letting out her tears. The old bronc didn’t move, letting Kelly get out the worst of her grief.

  “He understands.”

  Kelly looked over her shoulder, finding Dustin within the cluster of horses.

  “He understands pain,” he went on. “He had a hard road too. I think we’ve all suffered since that day.”

  Yes, they had all suffered, but maybe their suffering was finally over. She gave Demon…Monty, a pat on the neck. “We’re a sad trio, aren’t we, Monty?”

  “I have to ask…about Tom.” Dustin didn’t sound angry, only sad. “I know he was at your place.”

  Kelly met his eyes that gleamed in the shadow of his hat brim.

  “Nothing happened,” she said. “Nothing could happen, not anymore.”

  Dustin walked over and took her hand, tugging her into his arms. His lips found hers in the sweetest kiss she’d ever known. Off in the distance thunder rumbled and gathering clouds promised much needed rain. Dustin pulled back, giving her his brightest smile before dropping his well-worn Stetson onto her head.

  She was his, she always had been. All it had taken was forgiveness to realize it.

  About Olivia Starke

  Olivia Starke calls the Ozarks home. One of the most beautiful areas in the country, she loves hiking trails with her dogs, kayaking on the numerous waterways, and enjoying southern Missouri’s fresh air and sunshine.

  She’s also ‘Mom’ to four dogs, a growing number of kitties that show up at her door, and four VERY spoiled horses that do little to earn their keep. Not that she’d ever hold that against them.

  She’s a HUGE fangirl of Doctor Who and to a lesser extent Supernatural, and has a pretty interesting love triangle (or square?) going on in her head between the Doctor and the Winchesters.

  Olivia’s Website:

  www.authoroliviastarke.com

  Reader eMail:

  oliviastarke@ymail.com

  More Beachwalk Press Books by Olivia Starke

  Project Terminal: Legacy

  Project Terminal: Devil’s Virus

  Project Terminal: End Game

  Project Terminal Box Set

  Vampire Masquerade

  Too Hard to Resist

  The Baby Contract

  Heart’s Paradise

  All You Wanted

  by Lisa Huffman

  Football superstar Wade McKinney is crushed when he’s cut from the team. How did this happen? In order to make a comeback, he needs to focus on becoming the best player he can possibly be. Leaving town for a fresh start, he takes a job as a sports reporter at a local news station. With no room in his life for anything else, Wade denies his attraction to co-anchor Rebecca Ryan.

  Since tragedy struck mere months ago, Rebecca has become the rock holding her family together, leaving her no time for a personal life. But there’s something about Wade McKinney that has her wondering what his story is.

  Wade only sees a future in football and Rebecca hasn’t the time for a relationship. But when fate steps in, Wade and Rebecca find something they weren’t looking for in each other.

  Dedication

  To everyone who gives their all to achieve their dreams.

  Acknowledgements

  Kellie Cooper and Paula Carter, my friends. Words can’t describe how grateful I am to have you two as my pre-readers, my sounding boards, my cheerleaders, and sometimes the boot that kicks me square in the ass to force me to finish my story already.

  The talented Lacey Wolfe, my fellow author, thank you for always being available to answer my questions, read my work, offer excellent advice, and writing the blurb for this story. You are a superstar!

  Pamela Tyner and Beachwalk Press, thank you for giving me the opportunity to get paid to do what I love!

  Lynne Sully, thanks for polishing this story with your editing skills. I very much appreciate your hard work.

  Jason and Sam, you are the best and I can’t imagine my life without you.

  Romance readers everywhere, thanks for being awesome!

  Chapter 1

  “McKinney, Coach Bale wants to see you.”

  Wade let out a tense breath and stared at the sweaty, number ninety-two jersey laying on the bench in front of him. He placed his cleats at the base of his locker, made sure the toes aligned perfectly, then slipped on a dry, team logo shirt.

  “Yes, sir,” he replied, his mouth dry in spite of the gallon of water he’d swallowed since waking.

  The last day of cuts made for the longest walk he’d ever taken as he trekked down the hallway to the head coach’s office. Wade was a sixth-round draft pick for the Littleton Hawks a few months ago. He’d realized fast that professional football was a different world; a level of greatness he never imagined existed. In high school, his athletic ability made him a small-time celebrity, and thanks to his talent and family support he received offers to play football from some of the most recognized universities in the nation. His sophomore and senior year put national championship titles under his belt, and two rings in a locked safe at his parents’ house.

  Wade made it through pro-team minicamp, standing out enough from all the other rookies and free agents to receive an invite for training camp; the real deal. Training camp, where football’s most elite gather with their teams to perform to the best of their ability, to secure placement on a fifty-three-man roster. Proving himself worthy would mean benching another player, possibly getting a fan favorite cut from the team. That’s the life though, rough as it may be, and each athlete knows it.

  He needed this. His entire life, for as long as he could remember, had been about football. His friends, his family, they all expected him to do great things, to be t
he best, to be the most feared defensive end in the league.

  Wade stepped inside Mitch Bale’s office. The coach sat behind an impressive, polished wooden desk with an enormous collection of football memorabilia and trophies displayed on the wall-to-wall shelves behind him. He shuffled some papers around and gestured for Wade to have a seat. The man gave no hint of what was to come, sending Wade’s stress level to the highest extremes.

  Coach drummed the tips of his fingers on the desktop, mouth straight, eyes focused on Wade. “Choosing you to be part of the Hawks family was not a mistake. We had our eyes on you since you were a sophomore at Cape U.”

  Bale paused, so Wade nodded and kept a smile at bay even though he could tell the talk was a good one.

  The coach continued. “We knew getting you in this organization would enhance our defensive program. You were exactly what we needed to improve our weakened line.”

  “Thank you, coach.” He shifted in his seat, wishing the man would get to the point. Hopefully congratulations were in order.

  “And you will be a great contribution to this program...someday. But we have to let you go. This cut is the hardest we’ve faced in years…”

  Mitch Bale kept talking, but Wade had gone deaf, numb. He couldn’t feel his limbs, and he started tapping his heels to the floor to make sure his feet were there. He needed movement to confirm that even though football was no longer a part of his life, and he would never step on another field, he was still alive.

  Coach Bale walked around the desk with his hand out. Wade went through the motions of shaking it, thanking the coach for the opportunity, and did his best to walk back to the locker room as if his entire world had not been kicked out from under him.

  * * * *

  Six months later, Wade sat across from the general manager of KDRD Channel 4 out of Brighton. “As my resume states, ma’am, I received a degree in broadcasting with a minor in physical education.” This was his fifth interview since being released from the Hawks. If he couldn’t play, fingers crossed he would be paid to talk about the game.