Temporary Insanity: (Temporary; Paul and Indy #1)

by H L Day

  I nearly fell back as the door slowly opened. I scrambled to my feet, my gaze locked on his. He didn't seem annoyed anymore. That was good, right?

  Indy crossed his arms over his chest. "I suppose two out of four isn't that bad."

  "Two? Which did I get right?"

  "The food and the color. It wasn't a climbing frame. It was an incident with a diving board. And just for the record, I'm not precious enough to worry about my hair frizzing."

  He so was. I'd seen him when he came in from only a few drops of rain, smoothing his hair back into place, and checking his reflection in the mirror. But balanced on a precipice with him as I was, I let it go, staying silent. I let my eyes rove all over his face, trying to work out what he was thinking.

  He sighed. "This is all well and good, Paul, and I'm glad that you've stopped lying to yourself, but it still doesn't solve the biggest problem between us."

  The biggest problem! I swallowed, feeling as if my whole hope of a future relationship with Indy hinged on working out what that problem was without him having to tell me. Which it probably did. Suddenly, it all clicked into place, the words he needed to hear. It should have been obvious, really. "I don't care about how we first met. You did me a favor. Stephen wasn't all that. If I hadn't caught him with you, it would have been someone else. You weren't the first and you wouldn't have been the last. And I recognize that what he told me, the way it happened between the two of you, probably wasn't true. That he was just trying to cover his tracks and you were an easy fall guy. I should have realized it weeks ago. I'm sorry."

  Indy's head tilted to the side. "Really? Just like that?" He let out a long breath. "I wish I could believe you. But let's say we did date. And let's say that eventually we have an argument, I know what you're going to be throwing back in my face."

  "I won't. I promise. It..." I steeled myself. I'd come this far. It was ridiculous to be holding anything back. "It won't be worth the risk of losing you."

  Indy's lips twitched. He straightened them before the smile could escape, and for a moment we just stared at each other, drinking in the sight of the other's face. Indy stepped back, opening the door wider. "You'd better come in."

  Chapter Fourteen

  I STEPPED INSIDE, TAKING my promotion from the hallway as a huge positive. Indy gestured to the sofa and I gratefully sank into it, Indy taking the matching chair rather than sitting next to me. I didn't know what that meant but my brain was already going into overdrive about what him keeping his distance could mean. He leaned forward. "Did you mean it... about being able to let the past go?"

  There was no hesitation on my part. "Yes."

  Indy nodded. "It's not quite as cut and dried as it seemed, you know. I'm not making excuses for what happened with Stephen." He tipped his head to the side while he thought about it. "Actually, maybe I am, a bit anyway."

  Was this some sort of test? Him calling my bluff about saying that the past didn't matter? There was no way I was going to fall into that trap. "It doesn't matter. You don't have to justify yourself to me."

  "What if I need to?"

  Not a trap then. I should have known better. Indy was nothing if not straightforward. "Go on."

  He wrapped his arms around himself. "Firstly, he really did tell me he was single, and he chased me, not the other way around whatever he might have said to the contrary. He lied. Not me. Maybe I should have been a bit more suspicious though. I'll hold my hands up to that. I was going through some stuff at the time though. I went a bit crazy. One of the ways that craziness came out was through sleeping with men I really shouldn't have slept with. I wasn't in the habit of going home with strange men in the middle of the afternoon. Not before, anyway."

  "Before?"

  His expression turned pained. "I was diagnosed with leukemia. When you're twenty-three and you've just been handed a possible death sentence, then you go a little crazy... at least I did, anyway. I guess I can't speak for everyone. I figured that if I was going to drop dead, what was the point in denying myself anything."

  I listened in silence, feeling like the world's biggest idiot for never having given him the chance to explain before. A lot of other things clicked into place. "That's why your family never gave you grief for leaving the family business?"

  He smiled wanly. "Correct. I was too ill during the chemo to work, and then when I went into remission, they were too relieved that I was going to be okay to question what I wanted to do." He waved a hand down his body. "They didn't even protest about my sudden need for tattoos and piercings after." He laughed. "I wouldn't suggest using contracting leukemia as a method to get your parents to back off though. It's a little too drastic."

  Words were muddled in my head, the need to find out the answers to things I wanted to know warring with the desire to avoid putting my foot in it. "Are you...?"

  Luckily, Indy seemed to read my mind. "I've been in remission for two years. So far, so good."

  I sat back. "I'm sorry. For not letting you explain before."

  Indy shrugged. "Actually, it's better, don't you think?" He elaborated more at my look of complete confusion. "You would have felt like you had to say everything was forgotten. Or you would have pretended and it wouldn't have been authentic. This way, you let it go because you wanted to. Because in the grand scheme of things, it didn't matter anymore. I'm glad I didn't tell you."

  He had a point. I would have felt guilted into saying the past didn't matter, but deep down I would have still felt the same resentment.

  "Anyway..." Indy rose from the chair, joining me on the sofa. "...enough talk about miserable diseases. So tell me what you think you've got to offer."

  "Offer?"

  He nodded and then winked. "I thought you were meant to be convincing me to date you."

  And there I was thinking we'd already agreed to that. "Erm..."

  Indy shook his head slowly and grimaced. "I mean, so far you've offered to drink protein shakes and go to the gym a lot to improve your physique. That's a good start. What else?"

  I racked my brain. "I don't know. What do you want?"

  Indy stretched out his hand, tapping his fingers against my thigh while he considered the question. "Romantic dates. That you pay for."

  I nodded. "Sure."

  The fingers kept tapping. "Flowers and chocolates."

  I hadn't had him down as a flowers and chocolates kind of guy but I supposed it was a reasonable enough request. "I can do that."

  The fingers inched farther up my thigh. "Good chocolate though. Belgian chocolate. Not the cheap kind. And you need to be more inventive than red roses. You know, find out my favorite flower without me having to tell you. Part of the whole ‘getting to know each other properly’ thing."

  I frowned. This was getting a lot more specific than I'd anticipated. "Okay."

  "I need an elephant. Like the one I got for you, but purple."

  My lips pursed, a question hovering on them that I managed to hold back. I'd ruined his date. I'd treated him like crap. He had a right to ask for a few things in recompense. I nodded, my mind already racing to try and work out where the hell I was going to find a purple elephant.

  Fingertips grazed my crotch, my dick raising its head to say yes, please. "Fix my shirt. You know, the one you ruined."

  I got it then. He was taking the piss. Seeing how far he could push me. "I'm not fixing your fucking shirt!"

  He threw his head back and laughed. "Thank fuck for that! I was beginning to think you'd agree to absolutely anything I suggested. I was about to send out a search party for the real Paul, instead of the far too amenable replacement I'd ended up with."

  I lunged forward, pushing him back against the sofa and trapping him with my body. He continued to laugh and I leaned my head back far enough to be able to watch him. "Your eyes sparkle."

  He stopped laughing. "What?"

  I shrugged, feeling self-conscious. I'd said it now, though. There was no taking it back. "Just, you know, you're rather attractive. I've ne
ver told you that so I thought I should."

  He parted his thighs, mine sliding into the space between them. It was a shame we were both still dressed. "Good to know. You're not too bad yourself." He looped his arms around my neck. "I feel like I want to ask you the question one more time."

  My gaze was fastened on his lips. "What question?"

  He stared up at me. "Do you want to date me, Paul?"

  "Yes! One hundred percent, yes."

  "Where are you going to take me?"

  I gave him a withering look. "Wherever you want. Now, are you going to shut up so I can kiss you?"

  "Tell me you love my tattoos."

  I sighed. "They're alright."

  I dipped my head but he shifted his to the side, his lips moving out of reach, even as I attempted to chase them. "I still want the purple elephant."

  "Fine! I'll get you an elephant."

  "Promise?"

  "Yes, I promise." I tried to kiss him again but with exactly the same result as the first time. "Indy, will you bloody stay still."

  "Tell me how much you like me. There was a door between us when you said it before."

  I shifted position, unhooking his arms from around my neck and pinning them above his head instead. I leaned in, staring right into those gorgeous, green eyes. "I like you. Even when I hated you, I liked you. Happy now?" It was too early to raise the specter of the L word, even though I was fairly sure I was already there. It could wait, at least until after we'd been on our first date. Thinking about having a first date with Indy had me worrying that I was repeating the same mistakes. "Do you want to go out somewhere?"

  Indy frowned. "Now?"

  I nodded.

  His gaze moved downward, skimming over where our bodies were plastered together. "I thought we were going to have sex."

  "We were. We can. But if you wanted to do something else instead, that's fine."

  He tugged until I released his left arm, his hand lifting to cup my neck, his thumb stroking over the skin. "Paul, relax. Stop trying so hard. I still liked you when you were a dick, so if you change too much, I might be put off.”

  I brought my hand up to cover his, enjoying the fact that I no longer had to worry about how much intimacy was too much. "So what you're saying is that I can carry on being a dick?"

  Indy pulled my head down, stopping just short of our lips touching. "Within reason. But I also reserve the right to tell you when you're being a dick. Deal?"

  I smiled. "Deal."

  "What do you say we take this to the bed? Then you can say all the nice things about me that you've been struggling to hold back."

  I climbed off him, staying on the sofa as he stood and began to undress. "Who said I was holding things back? And if I was, I don't think struggle is quite the right word."

  Indy crossed his arms and tried to appear stern, the effect somewhat spoiled by his nudity, his cock already more than half erect. I dropped to my hands and knees on the carpet and crawled my way across to him, my mouth already watering at the prospect of getting a taste of him, especially when I'd spent the last few days believing I'd never get this close to him again. He made a noise in his throat. "I quite like you on your knees in front of me."

  I smiled up at him. "I quite like being here. Makes you look taller." Jokes aside, I wanted to show him how much he meant to me, that it was no small thing that he was giving me yet another chance when most men wouldn't even have dreamt of it. But then that just highlighted how special Indy was. Thank God for his persistence when I'd been too blind to see that we were perfect for each other.

  I kissed my way slowly up his thigh before doing the same to the length of his cock, luxuriating in the small tremors that shook his body at the first touch of my lips on his sensitive skin. When it came to blow job preferences, the two of us were worlds apart. I liked fast and hard and to be the one in control, he liked slow and soft. So I gave him that in spades, my mouth and tongue slowly making love to his rigid length as I took him deep, his gasps and moans music to my ears.

  It felt different this time, as if all the barriers between us had been eroded, which I supposed they had, given that the majority of them had been erected by my denial and unwillingness to admit a far deeper connection existed between us than simply sex.

  The taste of pre-cum on my tongue signaled he was close. I kept going. Indy had never been shy about telling me what he needed from sex. If he wanted me to stop, he'd tell me. Sure enough, after a couple more strokes he backed away, his glistening cock waving obscenely in the air and his chest rising and falling rapidly with the effort not to come. "I want you to fuck me."

  "I was so hoping you'd say that." I removed my clothes in record time, joining him on the bed where he'd already laid out condoms and lube. When he went to lie on his back, I flipped him over, letting my gaze drift down over his muscular back to where it tapered down to a perfect bubble butt. "Have I ever told you how much I love your ass?"

  Indy lifted his head. "There you go, you see. There's one of those nice things you've been holding back. You've never given me so much as one compliment about that part of my anatomy. Tell me more."

  I smoothed my hands across it. "It's the perfect size... shape. It was one of the first things I noticed about you when we met."

  Indy grimaced. I didn't understand why until he asked the question. "Which time?"

  Pulling the muscular globes apart, I lowered my head closer to the puckered hole I'd uncovered. "Both times. The second time, it was all I could do not to remember how hot you looked without clothes. I should have thrown you on the bar and had you there and then."

  Indy's body shook uncontrollably as he laughed. "Thank God you didn't. I'd have been out of a job. We'd both have been arrested. And think of the newspaper headlines. Our parents would have left the country in shame." He nudged the condom closer to me in a less than subtle hint. I had other plans, though. I needed to taste him and feel him squirm under me the same way he had when I'd had my mouth on his cock. Only this time, it would be my tongue up his ass. The temptation had always been there; I'd just never given in to it. All part and parcel of holding back. Well, now there was no reason to, he was all mine, every muscle, every sinew, every smart-mouthed comment, every taunt, every smirk. Every little thing that made up the gorgeous man completely at my mercy in front of me.

  "Paul, I—" Whatever he'd been going to say was replaced by a gasp at the first lick of my tongue over his taint. "Oh, you're going to..."

  "Yep." And then I didn't bother with any more conversation, giving his ass the same treatment as I had his cock, my hands holding his cheeks wide apart as I used every rimming trick in the book, along with some I was pretty sure I'd just invented, to drive him completely crazy. Only when he was a writhing, panting mess, did I stop and flip him onto his back.

  He was gorgeous: his hair mussed, cheeks flushed, pupils dilated, and muscles slicked with sweat. It took all the willpower I had to take my eyes off him for long enough to get the condom out of the package and onto my cock. The extra few seconds of applying lube were pure torture.

  "Paul?"

  My gaze flicked to his face. "What?"

  He grinned. "You look like you're in pain."

  I laughed even while pushing his thighs back toward his chest, uncovering the spit-slicked prize I was desperate to sink my cock into. "I am. The pain of needing to come really, really bad."

  "That makes two of us."

  Forcing myself to breathe slowly and deeply, I did a quick inventory of everything I should be thinking about. The last thing I wanted to do was undo all my earlier good work by fucking this up. Condom—check. Lube—check. Prep—did he need more? I'd rimmed him pretty extensively. Did he need fingers as well? I guessed it was better safe than sorry.

  "Stop!"

  My eyes darted to his face. Stop what? Having sex with him? What had I done?

  "Come here."

  Indy's hands fastened around my biceps, pulling me on top of him until we were face to face,
his arms wrapping around me. "You're freaking out."

  It was pointless denying it. I was freaking out. "I want this to be good."

  "It will be. It always is." There was a tenderness in his gaze I hadn't seen before. I guess I hadn't been the only one holding back in our previous encounters. For a few moments, we simply stared into each other's eyes and I didn't bother to hide anything.

  Indy's eyes widened. "You have no idea how long I've waited for you to look at me like that."

  I stroked his cheek, my voice coming out as a rasp. "Like what?" But I knew. Of course I did. I kissed him, long and slow, my tongue exploring his as my hands did the same to his body. I was giddy with want, with need, the emotions adding an extra element that elevated this to something it had never been before.

  Then Indy was holding his thighs back to his chest, his expression desperate. "Please, Paul. Don't tease me any longer. I can't take it." I applied more lube, the previous layer smeared somewhere on his body where I'd ground against him. I watched his face as I penetrated him, cataloguing his every expression as I pushed deeper: every bite of his lip, every breathy sigh. He took me eagerly, his hands fastening onto my ass to dictate a faster pace than I would have dared without encouragement.

  I was in heaven—buried in his ass, the tight channel squeezing me just right. There were no more words. Just grunts and sighs and the wet slap of our bodies as we both focused on taking what we needed. At some point, Indy pushed me onto my back, wasting no time in straddling me and lowering his ass back onto my dick. He was beautiful as he rode me, all tight muscles and glistening skin, his ass tightening around my cock, almost teasing the orgasm from me with every downstroke.

  This was the same position he'd been in when he'd had sex with Stephen, but he'd looked nothing like this. The difference was worlds apart, and even as my balls tightened and I thrust up, reaching the point of no return, I felt smug.