About That Fling

by Tawna Fenske

  Mia was quiet a moment. “That’s what you’re worried about?”

  “Kinda.”

  “Hell, I thought you were worried about her personal safety or privacy or something.”

  “That would make me a better person, wouldn’t it?”

  Mia laughed. “I think you’re fine, hon. I mean I know you and Gertie have this weird thing going where you pretend she doesn’t write really filthy, amazing smut—which I’ve enjoyed very much, by the way.”

  “You and half the women in America.”

  “That’s not a bad thing. I know the two of you do your damnedest to avoid discussing the fact that she’s this mega-bestselling erotica author, but I think you might be overestimating how much anyone else cares. No offense.”

  “None taken.” Jenna bit her lip. “You weren’t at Belmont when the shit hit the fan with the old CEO. You didn’t see how bad things got, how much it affected the staff’s trust in leadership. It tainted the way the whole community saw the hospital system.”

  “Honey, you’re missing a key difference here.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Running an escort service is illegal. Last time I checked, writing smutty books wasn’t. Not in this country, anyway.”

  Jenna sighed. “Still, things are rocky with the negotiations right now. I don’t want to muddy the waters.”

  “Sometimes getting a little dirty isn’t the worst thing. You should try it sometime.”

  A fresh wave of guilt knocked Jenna backward, and she glanced at the door. Had Adam and Shelly noticed how long she’d been gone? She was keeping her voice low, but still. For some reason, she didn’t want them to hear this. To know she was huddled in the bathroom whispering with Adam’s ex-wife like they were exchanging covert spy secrets.

  “Sweetie, can I say something?” Mia asked.

  Jenna drew her attention back to the conversation. “Have you ever needed my permission?”

  “Not really. I was just being respectful. I just think you spend too much time worrying what other people will think of you. Just live your life the way you want to live it and don’t get so hung up on everyone else.”

  The words felt like little daggers between her ribs, and she glanced at the bathroom door again.

  Okay then, Mia—I’m sitting on your ex-sister-in-law’s bathroom floor in the midst of a weekend spent bonding with your former in-laws while alternately consoling your ex-husband and fucking his brains out.

  “Jenna? You still there?”

  “I’m here.”

  “Just think about it, okay? Maybe it’s time you quit worrying so much about everyone else.”

  “Okay,” she breathed, not sure she trusted herself to say anything more. “How are things going for you? Is Mark missing you madly while you keep Gert company?”

  “Yeah, I guess so. I cooked dinner for Gertie last night, and I invited Mark and Katie to stop by afterward. I made Katie’s favorite peach cobbler, so I thought she might enjoy it, you know?”

  “Sure, she’s always loved that. So what happened?”

  Mia sighed. “Katie said she’s decided to go gluten free because her mom told her it’s healthier. She wouldn’t eat the cobbler, and then Mark got a text from Ellen asking him to come to the car dealership right away because she was buying a new car and needed him to sign off on the old one she was trading in. His name was still on the title.”

  “It couldn’t wait?”

  “Apparently not.” Mia sighed again. “I’m trying, Jenna. I’m trying so hard it hurts sometimes.”

  “I know you are, honey. Maybe you need to try less. Invest less so you aren’t so disappointed all the time?”

  Mia laughed. “Listen to us. You need to care less what other people think, and I need to care less what other people do. Maybe there’s a twelve-step program for us. Think Adam could recommend something?”

  “I—I imagine so,” Jenna said, the guilt welling up in her again. “Look, I’d better go. Can you tell Gertie to wait until I get home to make any decisions on the TV show?”

  “Will do. You’re coming home tomorrow afternoon?”

  “That’s the plan. You’ve got a birthing class at three?”

  “Yeah, my last one. Mark and I are going out to dinner afterward. Your favorite restaurant—Gerlake? It was the first place we ate together when I came out here to interview for the job.”

  “Sounds romantic.”

  “I hope so. It’s hard to feel romantic when you’re thirty-eight weeks pregnant and threatened by your husband’s relationship with his ex-wife, but I’m doing my best.”

  “That’s all anyone can ask, right?”

  “Right. If you’re home before I leave for birthing class, maybe we can have coffee? Fucking decaf, of course.”

  “Deal. Thanks again for all your help, Mia. I really owe you.”

  “Don’t mention it, babe. Have fun with your old roommates.”

  “I will,” Jenna said, swallowing back a new surge of guilt.

  On Monday afternoon, Adam pulled Jenna’s car up beside his rental car in the parking garage at his hotel. He turned in the driver’s seat and looked at her. God, he could never get tired of doing that.

  “Thank you for going with me this weekend, Jenna,” he said. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

  “I was honored to be part of it,” she said, brushing the hair from her eyes. “Your family is amazing.”

  “I know they’d love to see you next month for the memorial service. A lot of the East Coast relatives will be making the trip. Maybe if things keep going like they are between us—”

  He stopped, recognizing the alarm in her eyes. “What?”

  “Nothing.” She bit her lip. “It’s just that we’re back to reality now, right? Back in Portland, back to real life.”

  “Right,” he said, not entirely sure what she was saying.

  She touched his hand, the warmth of her fingers a marked contrast to the chill of her words. “We’re still working together, Adam. For several more weeks, possibly months. As far as I know, this is still against company policy.”

  “Of course. Maybe in a few weeks.”

  “Maybe,” she agreed, not meeting his eyes. “I should go. Mia has a birthing class at three, and I told her I’d try to get there before she leaves so we can have a cup of coffee and catch up.”

  “Tell her hi for me.”

  “Uh—”

  He grimaced. “Sorry, force of habit. Kinda like when you called me Sean in bed last night.”

  Her eyes went wide, and he watched the color rise in her cheeks. “I did not!”

  He laughed and squeezed her hand. “Did too. Right at the moment you arched your back and—”

  She grabbed the back of his head and pressed her lips to his, cutting off the stream of words and most of his oxygen flow. He didn’t care. He’d only been joking with her, and if he could get a kiss out of the deal, all the better.

  Jenna drew back and smiled. “Shut the fuck up, Adam.”

  “I love you.”

  She blinked, fingers still twined in his hair. “What?”

  “I said I love you. My segue could use a little work, but it’s true.”

  Jenna bit her lip. “I don’t know what to say.”

  He shrugged, trying not to feel too disappointed. “You could admit you’re fond of me, maybe compliment my driving or my ass.”

  “You know all that’s true,” she said, waving a dismissive hand. “And I love you, too. But—”

  “You do?”

  “You’re ignoring my but.”

  “I would never ignore your butt.”

  “Come on, Adam. Be serious for one second. We can’t get serious here.”

  “What?”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I�
�m not sure I do.”

  She sighed, her fingers still twined with his. “We can’t get serious in a relationship. Not now, anyway. Not with my job on the line and my best friend’s emotions so wonky right now.”

  “I get the job thing, I really do. But what makes you think Mia would even care?”

  “I just do.”

  “Have you asked her?”

  Jenna shrugged and looked away. “I’ve broached the subject. Not of me dating you, but of you getting serious with anyone at all.”

  “And?”

  “Look, the timing is just lousy. Her hormones are all topsy-turvy and her marriage is shaky and I just—”

  “Her marriage is shaky?”

  Jenna frowned down at her hands. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

  “But you said it,” he said, curling a finger beneath her chin and forcing her to look at him. “Why didn’t you want me to know?”

  “Because I didn’t want you to feel glad about it.” Her eyes flashed with a different sort of passion than what he’d seen there all weekend. “I didn’t want to see I told her so in your eyes. I didn’t want to see even one tiny shred of delight that my best friend is having a hard time. She’s my best friend, Adam—it’s bad enough I’m betraying her by sleeping with you, but I couldn’t stand the thought of anyone taking pleasure in her struggles.”

  Adam gritted his teeth. “Jenna, I’d never derive happiness from anyone else’s unhappiness. I hope you’d know that about me.”

  “This is different. This is the woman who left you flat for someone she thought was better. You can’t honestly tell me you wouldn’t feel at least a tiny twinge of satisfaction if it turned out she didn’t live happily ever after with her new life and marriage.”

  “I can,” he said, trying to keep his breathing even. “I can absolutely say that.”

  She smiled, then leaned forward and planted another kiss on his lips.

  “We can talk about this later,” she said. “For now, I need to get home. Thank you for the amazing weekend. I told your sister I’d call her tonight, but if you talk to her first, can you give her my regards?”

  “I will.”

  “I’m sorry about Nana, Adam. She was an amazing woman.”

  “I’m glad you got to meet her. It wasn’t much, but—”

  “It was everything,” she said, squeezing his hand. “You have no idea how much it meant to me.”

  Adam nodded, feeling a lump welling up in his throat. “I’m glad. It meant a lot to me, too.”

  She gave him a sad little smile, then unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door. He watched her swing her legs out of the car, watched as she shut the door and strode away.

  He might have actually kept driving if she hadn’t walked around to the driver’s side and opened the door. He looked up at her, confused for a moment, and a little dazzled by the sight of her, silhouetted by golden sunlight streaming in through the side of the parking garage.

  “Um, my car?”

  “Right,” he said, getting out. “I’ll just grab my bag from the trunk. Thanks again, Jenna.”

  She nodded as he popped the trunk and collected his suitcase, taking great pains to close the trunk softly and without force. He walked around to the front of the car where she stood beside the open driver’s side door.

  “Drive safely,” he said. “I’ll see you at work Tuesday.”

  “Okay,” Jenna said, then leaned up to kiss him softly on the lips. It was probably meant to be just a peck, but she seemed to dissolve against him, her mouth opening to his as he pulled her into his embrace and their bodies melted together. The smell of car exhaust mingled with the scent of her perfume, and her hair was the silkiest thing his fingers had ever explored.

  She drew back with a sigh. “Goodbye, Adam.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  His mouth was still tingling as she drove away, and he watched her taillights blink and fade and trail around the corner of the parking garage. He watched until her car drove out of sight, until the scent of her shampoo faded from his fingers, until he lost the urge to kick himself in the head.

  The last one was the toughest. Because what she’d said was true.

  As much as he hated it, as much as he wished it weren’t so, a tiny, awful part of him felt smug at the thought of Mia’s marriage in trouble.

  He gritted his teeth, hating himself, loving Jenna, and wondering what the hell that left him with.

  An hour later, Jenna was saying goodbye to Mia at the door. “You’re sure you don’t want me to come with you to your birthing class?”

  “That’s okay,” Mia said, slinging her purse onto her shoulder. “Mark said there’s still a small chance he might make it. Not a big one, but it could happen.”

  Her expression was so hopeful it scrunched Jenna’s heart up into a tiny, painful knot. “I know he hated having to cancel,” Jenna said. “Maybe he can still make dinner?”

  “Maybe,” Mia said shrugging. “The reservation’s kinda early, so that doesn’t leave a lot of time.”

  “I’m sure he’ll do his best,” Jenna said. “And if he doesn’t make it, I know he’ll wish he was there instead of repairing his ex-wife’s roof.”

  Mia winced. “It sounds awful like that. The hole is right over Katie’s bed and it’s been raining like crazy. They can’t get a repairman out there on a holiday weekend, and Mark knows how to fix things.”

  “Absolutely,” Jenna said, leaning forward to give Mia a hug. “Call me if you change your mind about the birthing class. I can be there in ten minutes. That’s the benefit of living this close to the hospital.”

  “Thanks, sweetie. You’re a great friend.”

  Jenna nodded and tried not to cringe. “You, too.”

  She closed the door behind her, feeling lousy and wistful and guilty all over again. Part of her wanted to celebrate the fact that Adam said he loved her. That she’d said it back. She was still glowing from the amazing weekend they’d had together.

  But what the hell kind of friend could revel in her own happiness when her closest pal’s marriage was teetering on shaky ground?

  “Did Mia make it out okay?” Gertie called, padding into the living room.

  “She just left. Thanks for giving us a few minutes alone. She’s going through some rough stuff right now, and she needed someone to talk to.”

  “I totally understand. She’s been here all weekend keeping an old lady company. We had a nice time together, but I know when a woman needs her best girlfriend.”

  Jenna sighed and sank into the overstuffed loveseat by the door. “I feel like an awful friend. And an awful niece, come to think of it.”

  Gert sat down beside her, patting her knee. “Why’s that, sweetheart?”

  “You know how I told you I was going to Seattle to see some old college roommates?”

  “I assumed that was just a cover story for a romantic weekend with Adam.”

  Jenna blinked. “What? How did you—”

  “For one thing, you don’t have any college roommates in Seattle. For another, I overheard you on the phone with him the night before you left. My hearing’s better than you think it is, sweetheart.”

  Jenna buried her face in her hands, thinking of Gramps’s hearing and Shelly’s cooking and the whole tangled-up mess of love and lies and loss. “God, I’m so sorry, Gert. I didn’t want you to have to lie to Mia. I thought it would be better if I told you both the same story.”

  “It’s fine, dear. I realize you’re feeling very secretive with this relationship. I know I tried to draw you out before by bringing Adam to the house, but now that I see how reluctant you are—” She gave Jenna a squeeze, forcing her to look up. “I guess I’m willing to go along with that.”

  “Thank you. For everything, Gertie. Really.”

&n
bsp; “Not a problem. How was your weekend?”

  “Incredible. Heartbreaking. Earth-shattering.”

  “Sounds like a good title for a romance novel.”

  Jenna sighed and sank deeper into the loveseat. “I just had one of the most amazing weekends of my life with a man I know used to be the light of Mia’s life. Once upon a time, they were crazy in love. Now I’m finding happiness with that same man, and here’s Mia struggling and trying to hold her new marriage together. It doesn’t seem fair.”

  “Life’s not fair, honey. I don’t think Mia would trade places with you. Not even now.”

  Jenna sighed and leaned against her aunt’s shoulder, more comforted than she expected by the feel of Gert’s arm curving around her shoulders. “I suppose not, but it might hurt Mia to see it anyway. Especially under the circumstances.”

  “Maybe. Or maybe she’s stronger than you give her credit for.”

  “I guess.” Jenna turned a bit so she was looking at her aunt. “I’m just not ready to tell her yet. I can’t risk hurting her like that. Maybe after the baby comes and Adam’s contract is up with the hospital—”

  “You don’t think that might make it worse in the long run? If Mia finds out you were seeing him in secret?”

  “She doesn’t have to know. We’ve been careful. Besides, a lot can happen in a few weeks. I just—I don’t think it’s the right time.”

  Gert looked at her and nodded. “Fair enough. I can respect that.”

  “Thank you.” Jenna squeezed her aunt’s hand. “So do you want to talk about this TV appearance?”

  Gert smiled. Jenna could tell she was trying not to, but she practically glowed with it. “Good Morning America. Can you imagine?”

  “I can. You’re famous, Aunt Gertie. I’m proud of you.”

  “I know it’s big, and I know everyone you work with would probably see it, but I just thought—”

  Ding-dong!

  Jenna frowned at the door. “Who do you suppose that is?”

  “Could be Mia. She forgot her overnight bag. That’s what I came out here to tell you. It’s over there in the corner.”

  Jenna stood up and grabbed the bag, reminding herself to get back on track with this conversation the second Mia scurried off to her birthing class.