To Believe

by Carolyn Brown

  That night they reached the summit and started down the mountain toward Mena. Trey had his first ever dose of shin splints and it took every ounce of will power to keep walking instead of sitting on the side of the road and sobbing like a two year old. He felt gritty and grimy beneath the sweat suit. His socks felt as if they’d grown fast to his toes and he suddenly appreciated deodorant more than he ever had before.

  Roseanna’s pony tail hung like a frayed flag of victory in greasy strands. She figured she could squeeze at least a gallon of pure lard from her face alone and she smelled like a hog. By the time they reached the bottom of the mountain and checked into a motel sometime the next day, she wouldn’t have to worry about Trey being physically attracted to her ever again. All he’d have to do was conjure up a vision of her on the second night of a long mountain hike.

  They had to step into the woods several times during the night. Three times they recognized the kidnapper’s vehicle. Twice it was for late night motorcyclists.

  “Those people have to be out of their minds to travel this road at night on a bike. It’s suicidal,” Trey grumbled.

  “It’s thrilling. Think of it. The spring wind blowing in your face. High enough to touch the clouds. Winding roads with lots of switch backs and hair pin curves. Could make a woman swoon almost as much as dinner on a beach.”

  “You still think of that night?”

  “It was the most memorable date I ever had or expect to have. It was almost worth being married to you for four years,” she said.

  “Almost?”

  “I didn’t stutter.”

  He chuckled.

  Clouds hid the sun the next morning. A low fog swept across the valley like smoke from a forest fire. It reminded Rosy of the smoke in the Arbuckle Ballroom where she first met Colin Vance Fields, the third. They passed a place called Sunset Vista Point and rested a while. Across the highway it looked as if there’d been a recent rock slide and for a moment she wished they’d been sitting there when the boulders came down. Maybe one would have hit him on the head. She’d mourn but then she’d get over it. With him alive, she wondered if she’d ever be totally free of Trey.

  A gift store appeared on their left as they arrived at the foot of the mountain. The sign said it opened at nine o’clock but just to look at something resembling civilization was enough to make Trey literally sigh. A train rumbled down the tracks right in front of them. When it passed, they crossed both tracks and a highway to a Valero station on the corner. Sure enough there was an older model Ford sitting in the parking lot. Roseanna went to the front wheel on the driver’s side, popped the hub cap off with a pocket knife and retrieved a key.

  Trey leaned against the vehicle and looked across the road at the stores. “What time is it?”

  She opened the back door of the car and tossed in her back pack, motioning for Trey to do the same. “Eight forty five. We made excellent time with the fog letting us go on past the time when the sun should have been shining.”

  “Looks like that place over there might have clothing,” he nodded across and down the street.

  “You ready for some cleaner duds are you?”

  “Yes, I am. Even clean sweats would be nice.”

  “Or a three pieced Amani suit with a pure silk tie? Don’t think they’ll have anything like that but we could check.”

  The store manager was just opening the doors when they parked. They picked jeans right off the shelf in their sizes, T-shirts from a rack and a package of white crew socks to share. Roseanna piled it beside the cash register and added an oversized T-shirt to sleep in, a package of underpants, and a pair of flannel pajama bottoms for Trey. He added a package of men’s white Fruit of the Loom underwear and an extra T-shirt.

  Roseanna produced a credit card and paid.

  “Ya’ll hikers, are you?” The clerk asked. “Kinda early to be out on the mountains, ain’t it? Hey, you wouldn’t be that couple who was lost up there, would you?”

  Roseanna played dumb. “Was there someone lost?”

  “Yep. Couple of men come in here the past two days askin’ if there’s been anyone come down out of the mountains. Says it’s a man probably in a tuxedo and a lady in a hot pink hikin’ suit. Wrote his number down so if I seen them I could call him right up. Ya’ll see anyone like that?”

  “Yes, we did,” Trey said. “Thought it was funny to see a man in a tux up there and we asked him what he was doing. He said he’d been kidnapped and the lady in the pink suit had found him tied up to a tree. We figured both of them for dope heads, to tell the truth.”

  “Nope, it ain’t a lie. Those two men who came in here said they were both kidnapped and they were trying to rescue them. Said there was a reward if they come in here. Where’d you see them people? I’ll call him right away. Could be they’ll find them.”

  “We saw them at Sunset Vista Point where there’s a turn off on one side of the road and a big rock slide on the other,” Roseanna said. “We offered them a ride into town but they was plumb skittish. Said they didn’t trust nobody and they was going to walk to Mena. I figure they’ll be here later today. Maybe ’bout noon.”

  The manager narrowed his eyes. “Where ya’ll headed?”

  Roseanna put on her best country hick accent. “We drove in from over at Page. Husband here’s got an aunt that’s took ill. We’re down here from up in northern Oklahoma, around Bartlesville. Got the word that Aunt Minnie was on her death bed and we just left in a hurry. Didn’t have no notion of staying the night but she’s a tough old bird. Been dyin’ for three days. Figured we’d best come on in and buy some things since we was beginning to get pretty ripe in our old sweats we wore down here. Got some cousins but ain’t a one of them tall as us, so we couldn’t even borrow nothin’.”

  The manager visibly relaxed. “I’m sorry to hear about your aunt. Maybe she’ll pull out of it.”

  “We sure hope so,” Trey said. “You ready, honey?”

  She nodded and they loaded their bags into the back of the car. She checked her rear view as they left and sure enough the clerk was on the sidewalk watching with a cell phone to his ear. She crossed the rail road tracks and followed the road up to the gift shop where she pulled off and parked. After ten minutes she turned around and went back into Mena, turned south on 71 and drove to the first motel she found.

  “Surely,we aren’t staying here,” Trey snarled his nose.

  “Does it look better than the tree you leaned against last night?”

  “Well, yes, but there must be at least a Holiday Inn or …”

  “Then suck it up and accept it. The flashing sign says there’s a vacancy. I’ll be back in a minute,” she slammed the door before he could protest.

  Chapter Seven

  Trey rolled his eyes when she opened the door to the motel.

  She dropped the sack of new clothes on the floor and shook a finger under his nose. “Hey, you are alive. This place has a shower and a phone that hasn’t been tapped. There’s a pizza place that delivers and two beds. You have survived worse these past few days so watch your attitude.”

  He eyed the bathroom door. “Who gets first shower?”

  “You, of course. You are the client. I’m the hired help.”

  “Hired?”

  “Of course. As soon as you marry Laura, there will be money and your sister is going to pay me. I think her words were something like, ‘He’ll still marry Laura if you get him out of there. He’ll have to for the family. You’ll be doing a job and after he’s married to Laura we’ll be glad to pay you what ever you want to charge. So it’s not like we’re asking for your time and services for free, but you’ll have to wait on your money.’ ”

  “You just rescued me because of the money? Just how much are you charging?”

  She tossed him the pajama bottoms and a pair of clean under shorts. “I haven’t decided yet. Don’t use all the hot water.”

  He slammed the bathroom door.

  She heard the water running before she
picked up the telephone and dialed. Jodie answered.

  “Hi. It’s me. I’ve got Trey and we’re out of the mountains. We’re in a motel in Mena. First one south on 71,” she said quietly.

  “What do you want me to do?” Jodie asked.

  Roseanna could feel the chill from her sister’s voice coming through the telephone line. “Still mad at me?”

  “Yep, but let’s get the sorry sucker back to his people and you home where you belong.”

  “Call this number and don’t talk to anyone but his father, Vance Fields. Give him your cell phone number and tell him to go to a pay phone and call you from there. Tell him what I just told you. First motel south on 71. Ask for Mr. and Mrs. Jimmy Rockford at the office. Tell him to be here at ten o’clock tonight and not to bring anyone with him. Not even a driver and don’t call. Just come pick up his son.”

  “Yes, Ma’am. Ya’ll will be home tomorrow then?”

  “We’ll be there by supper time. Tell Granny Etta I want red beans and corn bread. Call Daddy and tell him everything is on schedule. I’ll meet him in DeQueen at noon tomorrow.”

  “You can eat bologna sandwiches. You don’t deserve anything else. Touché on the Jimmy Rockford thing, though.”

  Roseanna giggled. “I love you too, sister,” she said as she hung up the phone. They’d made it through the tough part. Now all they had to do was sleep all day. When they awoke, Vance would be there to take delivery of his son. From there it was their problem. She’d drive the borrowed car to DeQueen and her father would be there to pick her up. It would be over and finished.

  Trey stepped out of the bathroom. Water droplets still hung on his dark hair. A three day beard gave him a rakish look, not unlike one of those handsome hunks on the front of romance novels. “I feel almost human. You got a razor in your backpack?”

  She shook her head. “I called Jodie. She’s taking care of arrangements to get your father down here tonight.”

  “Why all the secrecy? Which reminds me, why didn’t you just bring in a cell phone and call someone to come get us?”

  “How much reception did you get in those mountains with your phone?”

  “Point taken, but we are out of the woods, literally, so why call Jodie? Why not just call my father?”

  “His lines are probably tapped. She’ll give him her cell phone number and he’ll call her back from a pay phone. Hungry?”

  “Starving. Are we going out?”

  “We aren’t leaving this room, so it’s pizza for breakfast and probably for supper, too.”

  “No complaints, then. Have you ordered yet? I want …”

  “I know what you eat on your pizza, Trey. Canadian bacon, double cheese, thin crust.”

  He smiled.

  Her heart melted a little more.

  “I’m taking a shower. The phone book is right there. The place is called Really Great Pizza. Do you remember what I want?”

  He hesitated.

  Her heart froze back up.

  “That would be meat lovers with thick crust. Order two large. We can eat it cold when we wake up. Oh, and tell them the name is Jim Rockford when they ask.”

  “Who’s that?”

  “A television private investigator. It’s the name that popped into my head when I registered at the desk.”

  “They’ll know you gave a fake name. Your credit card will give it away.”

  “I paid with cash. They think we’re committing adultery in here.”

  Before he could say another word she carried her clean things into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She peeled out of the sweat suit, tossed it into the same pile with Trey’s dirty clothes and stared at it. It seemed entirely too personal, her underpants touching his, almost adulterous. They’d been married four years but suddenly she blushed and kicked her things into a different corner. With a long sigh, she stepped into the shower and suppressed a long moan when the hot water hit her face. She’d never take something as simple as a shower for granted again.

  She used the rest of a small complimentary container of shampoo, lathering her long hair, giving it time to set while she scrubbed her body. After a few minutes she rinsed then stood under the spray, letting it work the tension from her back and shoulders. The water grew cold before she finally turned it off. She wrapped a towel around her body and cracked the door slightly so the fog on the mirror would clear. That’s when she saw the coffee pot and almost danced a jig right there. Before she even dried off, she made a pot, savoring the aroma that filled the bathroom.

  His voice came from the other side of the door. “Is that coffee I smell? Are you dressed?”

  “It is and I am not.”

  “Then hurry up. I’d commit homicide for a cup of hot black coffee.”

  They each claimed a bed, crawled into the middle of it, and inhaled the steam from the disposable coffee cups.

  “You ever think we’d be in a fifties motel in Arkansas sitting in the middle of a bed and grateful to be alive with Styrofoam cups of plain old coffee in our hands?” He asked.

  She sipped and kept a moan of appreciation at bay. “Bet I could have visualized it better than you could have.”

  “Want to talk about it?” He asked.

  “What’s there to talk about? We were miserable together. We divorced. I’ll never believe in that happily-ever-after crap again.”

  Someone knocked on the door and a deep voice said, “Pizza Delivery.”

  Roseanna was off the bed and at the door before Trey could move. She grabbed her backpack and removed several bills from a wallet. She cracked the door and peeked out, then shut it again, took the chain off and opened it all the way.

  “Jim Rockford? That will be twenty-five ninety-two.”

  His voice didn’t fit his pimply face and she wondered briefly why he wasn’t in school. But it wasn’t her job to ID a pizza delivery man to see if he was old enough to drive, so she peeled off thirty dollars and handed it to him.

  She reached for the two boxes. “Keep the change and thank you.”

  “Thank you. Wait just a minute. There’s a two liter of Pepsi goes with two large today. I’ll get it from the car.”

  She peeked inside the top box and handed it to Trey who waited with outstretched hands. He set the box in front of him and grabbed the biggest piece in the box and set about eating. He didn’t realize just how hungry he was until he took the first bite and literally moaned with pleasure.

  By the time she reclaimed her spot on her bed, he was working on his second slice. She ate slowly, chewing each bite, appreciating the mixed flavors of hamburger, sausage, pepperoni and all the other meat on the thick pizza.

  “So you don’t believe anymore?” He asked.

  “Nope,” she shook her head. “It’s a let down worse than finding out about Santa Claus. I figured we’d get married. Fight some. Make up a lot. Work out our differences like grown ups, and when we were old and gray we’d finish up our lives in happily-ever-after-land.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Bragging or complainin’?”

  He set his jaw in a mood that she was very familiar with and that brought on the giggles then the hiccups. She left her pizza and poured a plastic glass of warm Pepsi. “Time was when that look would send me into a frenzy trying to figure out how to make you happy. Right now, I don’t give a dang if you are happy or not, Trey. Eat your pizza. It’s over. We are part of the statistics. We ain’t goin’ to see that big three tiered cake with golden bells on the top. When your father gets here tonight, I’m going to Sulphur. You are going home to Tulsa to work out your financial problems. We’ll probably never see each other again.”

  “I guess not.” He ate half the pizza before his eyes got so heavy he couldn’t hold them open anymore. He set the box on the floor beside the bed and stretched out. Lord, it was good to lie on a mattress, to feel a real pillow under his head. He was asleep in two minutes.

  She finished her third slice and set the box on top of the t
elevision set. She slipped between the sheets and shut her eyes but sleep didn’t come as quickly for her. A song she had sung that night when she’d first met Trey came to mind. It was a Sara Evans tune entitled “I Don’t Want to See the Light.” The words ran through her mind and the music was as loud as if she were playing it on her CD player back at the lodge. The words asked that the burning be taken from her because she didn’t want to see the light of day. If Roseanna was honest, she didn’t want to see the dark of night. It would be the absolute final straw. She’d never see Trey again. The song mentioned there was a cold wind howling at the trailer door. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she turned her back so when she opened them she wouldn’t be looking at him. More words came to mind. Something about the dreams they were chasing were far from coming true.

  Well, that’s the truth. We chased dreams that could never come true. Why can’t the burning for him go away? My brain knows it’s an impossible situation. My body needs to admit it too. Is it because I don’t want to be a failure? Because my older sisters are so happy and I’m a wreck? No, it’s because I love the sorry sucker and love can’t be turned on and off like a water faucet.

  She wiped at her eyes with the corner of the pillowcase and willed herself to sleep—only to dream of a trailer house with Trey sitting on the porch in a T-shirt. He was laughing at a couple of little boys playing in the sand. Roseanna’s heart was full in the dream and she couldn’t even fuss at her sons for the sand they were busy pouring in each other’s hair.

  A hard pounding on the door awoke her. She jerked awake and looked around the unfamiliar surroundings, trying to get a handle on where she was and what time it was. The clock flashed nine thirty. Another knock. Harder this time. Reality hit. She was in a motel in Mena, Arkansas with Trey in the bed beside her. She threw off the covers and went to the door.

  “Who is it?”