“Stop this pity blabber! You have changed completely.”
“Oh?”
“Look at you. After these few months, you are completely different when it comes to the men that cross your path. Although you were not unpardonably rude before, now you treat even the lowest of persons with the type of respect you used to show only those whom you admired. I have heard you speak to the tradesmen as equals, and even begin conversations with them. You do not hesitate to invite a variety of guests to your home. In fact, I have had the most entertaining meals at Darcy House lately. These men of knowledge are an interesting group. My opinion of them has changed a great deal, too. I have witnessed the amends you made in your own character. Do not think ill of yourself.”
Darcy shrugged. “I admit I am anxious about Blake obtaining Elizabeth’s acceptance and I let those thoughts prevail. I will try not to wallow around in the pool of pity, well, at least not in the deep end!”
Rawlings laughed.
“I will continue to try to improve. I need practice. Did I ever tell you that she once accused me of not taking the time to practice? That was not true. I practiced at everything I thought was worthwhile, but never did I expect speaking to those people as a worthy endeavor.”
“Enough self-indulgence. Now what did Blake do with all this new information?”
“He gave orders to pack his trunks. He is coming to Pemberley, and we will face her together. I must tell her the truth about what I saw. I offered Blake even more hope after I admitted doing something that may be the reason for her change of heart of him.” Sighing, Darcy stared out the window at the passing scenery.
Rawlings waited patiently, but had to cough to get his friend’s attention; he raised his brows in a pleading motion. “Are you going to keep me in suspense the whole journey?”
With a solemn expression, Darcy leaned towards his friend and said, “Please do not think ill of her, but I wrote Miss Elizabeth a letter after her refusal to my marriage offer. I placed it in her hand before I left my aunt’s home in Kent.”
Rawlings brows shot up.
“I included the truth about her mother’s appearance on the balcony that night and what she had told Blake the next day. He was not to blame. I suspect this is the reason for the change of heart. From my own hand, Elizabeth learned about Blake seeking her out the day after the ball at Longbourn.
“Oh, and what did he say to that?”
“His usual response to something shocking, he repeatedly said, ‘ Oh my ’.” Both men chuckled. “But Blake relaxed afterwards. He smiled for a while, and I can only imagine he was picturing her reading the letter. He actually patted me on the back as he said I was a friend, even when I was stabbing him in the back. I suppose I did him a great favor by revealing the truth to Miss Elizabeth. But… I did not think of Blake at the time, only the need to defend myself against her accusations. I was not a friend.”
“What now?”
“We are both prepared to meet with her and discuss everything. Blake refused to go on ahead. He believes there is as much chance she prefers me. I would be so honored if she did. And it would work to your advantage too.”
“How so?”
“Well, I would send you word when Miss Lydia visits Pemberley.”
“You have changed.”
“I believe she is too young and silly for you, but I no longer wish to substitute my opinion for yours. If she pleases you, then I will stand by you. Perhaps, we can find out if she is still at Longbourn.”
“Yes, perhaps.”
“I also had Georgiana invite Lady Victoria. Her father relented and let her come at my aunt’s insistence. They grew tired of her tears and tantrums, I suspect. Kent will be surprised. This is their chance to discover how they feel about each other. Georgiana and Lady Victoria are there now. I hope Blake’s attendance does not give Victoria concern. Good God. Now I must think of how to handle this.”
“Calm yourself. If Victoria has transferred her affections to Kent, it will not matter. If not, then Kent needs to know the strength of her feelings towards another man. So truthfully, this may be for the best. Is that not what you are pursing for yourself? A lady with no regrets? You are not responsible for every person’s life. We are grown men and women, and must handle our situations to suit our own selves.”
Darcy chuckled.
“What?”
“She accused me of trying to be the conductor of every friend’s life. As you see, she was correct!”
The two men continued to converse about their visit in Hertfordshire. Darcy indicated he was looking forward to seeing Bingley again, and this time he would not hesitate to confess his sins to him either; but first he needed to learn if Miss Bennet had transferred her affections elsewhere. He solicited Rawlings’ help, since Mr. Gardiner seemed to speak more openly with him. Talk turned to business issues, and the impact the war with America was having on their shipping business. Rawlings had sent word to the Lowell family that a shipment would be delayed until a resolution between the two countries occurred.
Silence permeated the carriage while they continued on their journey to Pemberley, until they reached the inn Darcy had arranged for the night’s stay. Kent had reached the destination first, and Blake was the last to arrive. Bingley would arrive at Pemberley directly from his uncle’s home north of Derbyshire.
Choosing to avoid Darcy, Blake spent the evening debating the reformation of parliament with Kent, who no longer professed the Tory line. Kent was now a full-fledged member of the Whigs, much to the happiness of his uncles. The two men spoke in friendly, respectful tones, although the words became a little heated at times. With Blake and Kent occupied, Darcy retired early for the night and, surrounded by the political talk, Rawlings soon followed Darcy’s lead.
***
Mr. Gardiner had planned to stay in Lambton until the rest of the partners arrived so that his wife could easily visit with her former friends, but once Darcy offered his home, which was a mere five miles from Lambton, Gardiner believed it would not be polite to refuse now that he was a full partner. He only hesitated because his niece was traveling with them. Elizabeth had expressed her uneasiness, although she had never mentioned Darcy’s proposal to either her uncle or aunt. But in the end, Georgiana’s insistence won out, and that was how Miss Elizabeth Bennet came to stay at Pemberley only two days after arriving in Lambton.
Georgiana, Miss Kent, and Lady Victoria had spent a few days together while waiting for the men to arrive. The ladies had grown fond of each other when they secretly were sending letters between Kent and Victoria. Although she was apprehensive about spending time with Kent, Victoria had expressed her appreciation for the chance to get to know him.
Hoping to catch a particular man’s gaze and turn his head towards her ever since that first day he smiled at her at Darcy House, Sarah Kent anxiously waited as well. She could not erase the image of his tall frame sauntering through the manufactory door, displaying his laughing eyes as he inspected the products her uncle manufactured. She had studied him as earnestly as he studied the intricate details of whichever object he chose from the display case. He had dimples of which he seemed to be unaware. His air spoke of nonchalance, and he was natural, unlike the stilted manner of her brother and other young tradesmen trying to impress the world. And yet, his broad shoulders rarely slumped, and he appeared ordinary in the way he held his hand behind his back For the first time, she was without control over her yearnings, and, regardless of the unlikelihood he would ever entertain her as a possible match, each day brought her closer to another opportunity to win his favor. She feared the difference in their status was too great. He never looked upon her as anything more than as his partner’s sister. She feared his heart belonged to another.
Pleased with her guests, Georgiana hoped that the visiting women would remain close friends in the future. While the Gardiners visited during the day, Elizabeth usually remained at Pemberley with the other ladies. She had only added to the liveliness.
Darcy had sent word Lord Blake would be joining them, and had asked his sister to let the Victoria, the Gardiners, and Elizabeth know.
However, when the men arrived, the Gardiners and Elizabeth were out visiting. Mr. Gardiner suspected Elizabeth had desired an occupation away on this day. She had become quieter and more circumspect on their return back to Pemberley. When they arrived, they learned everyone had gathered in the drawing room, and the servants led them there immediately.
Lord Blake and Darcy stilled when Elizabeth walked through the doorway. Lord Blake had been speaking to Miss Kent with Lady Victoria listening nearby. Kent stood slightly apart, his gaze remained fixed on Lady Victoria. Rawlings was jesting about nothing and to no one in particular. Darcy and Georgiana were sharing a quiet conversation. She had touched his hand several times when Elizabeth entered, and then squeezed tightly when he inhaled sharply. She gave him a small smile.
Bingley sat alone in the chair, subconsciously tapping his fingers on the arm. From the instant he had arrived at Pemberley and learned Miss Elizabeth was also a guest, he contemplated a way to learn about her sister. He practiced his question repeatedly, Are all your sisters at home? He felt satisfied that she would tell him if Miss Bennet had married. It had been nearly eight months since he had last seen her, and he would not let this opportunity pass without discovering if his angel had accepted another.
Blake and Darcy approached the Gardiners and Elizabeth quickly.
“Miss Bennet.” The two men bowed, and before even she completed her curtsey, Darcy whispered, “I invited Lord Blake to join us, because I believe you and he need to discuss a matter you mentioned a few months ago.”
“Miss Bennet, please. I would be honored if you allow me to speak to you. Perhaps not this moment, as you have just arrived, but we could meet tonight after dinner?”
“It is unlikely my uncle would allow a private discussion. Perhaps my aunt should attend as well?” Elizabeth glanced at her uncle and aunt.
“Yes, of course.” The two men nodded.
Mr. Gardiner reluctantly agreed once his wife signaled her acceptance.
For a few minutes, the conversation centered on the men’s trip to Pemberley and the mutual acquaintances Darcy and Mrs. Gardiner shared. Soon Elizabeth parted, making her way to her bedchambers to prepare for dinner. As if a servant had rung a bell, everyone separated to their own chambers, with the exception of Darcy. He led Gardiner to his study, where they shared a brandy before conversing for a brief period.
When dinner began, everyone sensed the tension in the room by the strained voices and forced laughter. Elizabeth remained quiet, striving to be composed, and without daring to lift up her head. She sat flanked by her uncle and Mr. Rawlings, her aunt placed directly across from her. Neither Blake nor Darcy sat near her, which resulted in their silence. Elizabeth had ventured only one glance at Darcy. He had maintained his serious mien much in the same manner as he had been in Hertfordshire. He felt his heart ache when she glanced at Blake but he too held a serious demeanor, unusual for the charming and friendly man. Neither man smiled, and instead of eating, they pushed the food around the plate. Miss Kent, sitting to the left of Darcy, remarked upon something humorous, which resulted in his chuckle and a lowly spoken comment in return.
“Miss Bennet, have you traveled in this area before?”
“No, Mr. Rawlings. This is my first trip this far north. I find the countryside astonishing, and so unlike Hertfordshire.”
“Were you able to visit the Lakes?”
Elizabeth shook her head before releasing a long sigh. She glanced at Darcy first and then Blake while she gulped her wine.
Rawlings leaned in a whispered, “All will be well, Miss Bennet. They are both honorable men, and only seek your happiness, wherever it resides.” He presented her with a smile and reached for his glass.
Bingley talked less than he had in Meryton. He sipped his drink, and when Elizabeth caught him looking at her, she assumed he was trying to trace a resemblance. He leaned towards her, and in a tone of real regret said, “It was a long time since I had the pleasure of seeing you. It is above eight months. We have not met since the 26th of November, when we were all dancing together at Netherfield.” Elizabeth gave him a smile at his memory. He took a deep breath and then asked her whether all her sisters were at Longbourn, with such a look and manner, which gave them meaning, she immediately gave him the answer “All my sisters are Longbourn, except one. My youngest sister is in Brighton.”
Rawlings coughed. “Brighton? Do you have family there?”
“No. She is the guest of Colonel Forster’s wife. The militia has left Meryton, and is spending the summer at Brighton.”
“All the militia? Does that include Mr. Wickham?” Rawlings’s fingers tightened around the stem.
Georgiana gasped. Darcy attempted to rise from his chair, but was not as quick as Elizabeth who had knocked over her glass. She patted the wet spot with her napkin and asked for forgiveness of Georgiana, diverting her attention away from the conversation. “Miss Darcy, I fear this means I must play the song you wanted to hear tonight as my punishment.” Georgiana laughed at Elizabeth’s jest, and offered to turn the pages for her.
Darcy leaned back in his chair, and kept his gaze on Elizabeth, admiring her and the manner in which she diffused the situation. He felt his heart leap and before this moment, he had never believed the poets when they described it. But it did leap and even flip flop. Elizabeth was a woman without competition. Why had he not seen the truth? He no longer cared if she had name, connections, fortune, or skill. Her family was a part of her, now he understood. If he loved her, then he would not despise anything about her and that included an inattentive father, a ridiculous mother, or the most silliest girls of all England. If he could not overlook their faults, then he did not deserve her, he was not worthy. His own family disgraced him, but she never uttered a negative opinion about his officious aunt, Lady Catherine deBough. She did not use this disgraceful family connection as a reason to decline his offer. What an obnoxious fool he had been.
When the conversations began to return to their normal flow, Elizabeth whispered to Rawlings, “Sir, Mr. Wickham has gone there, yes, but I believe it would be best to speak of this at another time.”
“You are wise, Miss Elizabeth. I meant no offense to anyone.” He pointed his gaze at Georgiana. “You handled her situation with magnificent grace. Thank you.”
Soon, the time had arrived for the separation of the sexes. However, in an unusually short time, the men joined them. Elizabeth and Georgiana stood at the pianoforte searching through the sheet music. Miss Kent and Lady Victoria had continued the game of backgammon begun the night before. Victoria was winning, much to the surprise of Sarah since not even her brother had defeated her since she had turned twenty. Mrs. Gardiner and Mrs. Annesley were deep in conversation; they discovered they had several mutual friends in London.
Elizabeth was true to her word to Georgiana, playing and singing to everyone’s appreciation. Blake and Darcy rose at the end of it, along with Mrs. Gardiner, and excused themselves as they escorted Elizabeth to the library. The remaining guests had a little inkling of what was about to transpire, but no one dared to broach the subject openly.
“Thank you for agreeing, Miss Elizabeth.” Darcy’s words caught in his throat. “Mr. Blake would like a word. I will be over there looking for a book.”
“On gas lighting, sir?” Elizabeth raised her brow, and with a chuckle added in a half-whisper, “I hope you find it this time.”
He twisted his ring in circles while he watched Blake lead her to the chair closest to the fire. Darcy led Mrs. Gardiner over to the bookshelves where no words reached his ears.
***
Blake looked directly into her eyes. “Miss Elizabeth. I must apologize, but I do not know where to begin.”
“No. I am the one who should begin. I must ask for forgiveness for the actions of my mother. I know you will not understand, but she was tryi
ng to keep me from harm.”
“I do understand. But I must apologize. Darcy admitted how your mother heard him speak of the rumors my finances on that balcony that night. She did not hear of my independent wealth from my mother, or my own estate and townhouse in London. She only heard the rumors of financial ruin; she left after Darcy had spoken.
A World of Expectations_Book 2_The Confrontation Page 42
