Elizabeth sat still as she calculated this new piece of information.
“I should have sought you out. I should have heard the words from your own lips, not rely solely on your mother’s reply. I was a fool. I believed her, when in my heart I knew it to be different.”
“It is true; I did not conceal my interest. I have wondered what you must have thought of me after my mother told you I had gone to London.”
“I admit, I was not charitable towards you at first. The thought swirling in my head was how I had planned to defy my father and follow my heart. He would not have been pleased. He wanted someone with fortune and connections. I knew he would unleash his anger on me, but his wishes were not mine. When I heard you had gone away to avoid me, I was angry”
“The crushed knight.”
“Yes, and now I can only regret leaving it behind. But Miss Elizabeth, my anger was only in the beginning. I felt abandoned, and then I began to blame myself. I searched my mind, trying to pinpoint what I had done. I had expected a different response.”
“Why did you not search for me?”
“I did not know where you went. Your mother did not say. But once I discovered your uncle’s home, I did spy on it. I had followed Miss Bennet there one day. She was leaving Mr. Bingley’s house when I arrived. I had hoped—”
Elizabeth leaned forward and tapped Blake’s arm. “You knew my sister visited with Miss Bingley? Did you mention this to her brother? Did he know? Please, this is most important.”
Blake shrugged. “I assumed he did. He was home when I returned that day. I do not recall any conversation about your sister visiting.
“Oh.” Elizabeth sighed. “Did you say you watched for me outside my uncle’s house?”
Blake nodded. “For days I waited, but without any indication you were visiting, I assumed you had gone to another relative.”
“Why did you not come in? My aunt and uncle knew where I was.”
“I have never been introduced to your relatives in London. I felt uncomfortable with an uninvited visit when your mother had said you wished to avoid me.”
“But my sister was there. You are acquainted with her. Did you not speak to her? She would have known where I was.”
Blake shook his head. “No. I believed you did not wish to see me. My only hope was if I could catch you on a walk. We could have talked. I wished to spare you any embarrassment in front of your family.”
“What is it you wish to have said, because I am at a loss to understand what you wished to say to me that could not have been said in my uncle’s home?”
“I wanted to know why you ran away to London. You mother said you wanted to avoid me.”
“I did not run away. I was in Longbourn the day you came.”
Blake grabbed the arms of the chair so tightly his knuckles turned white. “Darcy suggested as much; however, I believed your mother.” His tone grew harsh when he added, “She will never be invited to my home, please understand I can never forgive her deceit.”
“Oh? Why would she visit?”
“I get ahead of myself. Please forgive me.”
Elizabeth nodded her head. “You said you got ahead of yourself? What else do you want to say?”
“The day after the ball, I wanted to ask you to be my wife. Even now, I still want you to marry me. I have never been able to forget you, your eyes, your scent, your hands, and your elegant manner. Tonight, I offer you marriage. Please accept. I cannot offer you wealth as others can, but I do have an estate and fortune of my own. I am not penniless and can take great care of you. I will inherit the dukedom, and there is no one else I wish to be my duchess. I have loved you since our first dance at the assembly hall, and I will love you when we can dance no more. I am sorry. I have not been as eloquent as I had wished, as I have practiced.”
Elizabeth placed her hands in her lap and sat as straight as possible. “As your wife, Lord Blake, what would be expected of me?”
He smiled. “Other than filling my life with happiness? I assume the normal expectations. Providing an heir is important. And you would be required to manage the home.” Blake’s smile stretched across his face. He patted her hand. “I have no doubt you could handle any problem which might surface.”
“Problem? Do you speak of dealing with matters such as a young maid with child? I am aware of a situation of that nature happening elsewhere. What do you think would be the best action to take?
“Why, dismissal. Do you not agree?”
“She is without family and would have nowhere to go.”
‘Miss Elizabeth, a servant’s life is of little concern of yours. If you find it difficult to dismiss a maid for that, or any reason, I have an excellent housekeeper who could handle everything. I would not want you to be distressed by the intricate decisions of running a household, especially those of unseemly matters.” Blake leaned forward and patted her hand again. “I would do anything to shield you from a difficult situation. I only want happiness in your life. I would never allow you to come to harm or be made uncomfortable in any way.”
***
Darcy’s quick glance caught Miss Elizabeth with her brow raised, and if not for the slightest smile, her expression was of a serious manner. He suddenly felt the grayness of the room take hold in his heart. The conversation appeared to turning more intimate between the two, with Blake patting her hand. Darcy slid into the chair and thought about his life. So many mistakes. I could not compete with Blake. I came too late. Not aware of how long he sat in contemplation, Darcy had not noticed the quietness surrounding him until Elizabeth caught his attention by coughing.
“Miss Elizabeth.” Darcy jumped up and quickly searched the room. “Where is Lord Blake?”
“He has retired for the evening. I have stayed behind to speak to you.”
“Please, be seated.” Darcy pointed to the chair. When he could not find Mrs. Gardiner, Elizabeth advised him her aunt had mentioned a chill and removed herself to sit in the chair closer to the fire. He took his seat, but his hands trembled as he clasped them together.
“Mr. Darcy, I want to thank you for allowing Lord Blake the opportunity to explain what happened that day. I…”
Darcy did not move. He rubbed his hands and held his breath.
“I never understood why he left without taking his leave, and had it not been for your letter, I do not know how I…”
When she looked down at the floor, he caressed her hand. “Say no more. Please. I am pleased for you that the misunderstanding has been resolved.” With the softest of voices he asked, “Is there anything you wish to ask me? I will tell you anything you want to know, and I will speak honestly.”
“I have one concern, Mr. Darcy. If you would be so kind to explain to me why you allowed my mother’s head to be filled with rumors about Lord Blake. Did you really believe them, or did you have another purpose for such a breach of conduct? I do not understand your purpose, because at that time, you had not shown any interested in me.”
“I am ashamed to admit the truth. I had convinced myself that my friend was not going to offer marriage, just a…” Darcy looked down at his boots and then added quietly, “a flirtation. I did not wish to see you put in an awkward situation. But I lied to myself and deep down I knew it.” Darcy looked down at his hands as he willed them to hold still. When he lifted his head, he caught sight of her surprise. “I wanted to believe it to be that way, because I did not want him to have you. I wanted you even then. I loved you.”
“Even though you did not seek me out?”
“I struggled against connecting myself, and for no excuse other than prejudice and false pride.”
Elizabeth whispered, “In vain I have struggled.” When he cringed, she touched his arm. “I remember you did tell me. But I did not realize you felt this way even then. What set you off in the first place? When did it begin?”
“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middl
e before I knew that I had begun. By then Lord Blake had revealed his preference for you. I felt much like a drowning man, and I searched for a rope or raft, but all I could do was pretend to be your protector. I fabricated in my mind, that he would not offer you marriage, so I tried to warn you, nay, to keep you from him. I invented a reason to come between you and him.” Darcy’s last words caught in his throat. “I manipulated the conversation on the balcony with your mother listening.” Darcy breathed deeply several times. “I beg your forgiveness for such an officious act.”
The only sounds heard in the room were the breathing of the two.
“Mr. Darcy, why were you so silent when I arrived today. I had hoped you would engage in a little conversation.
“Because you were grave and silent, and gave me no encouragement.”
“But I was embarrassed and confused.”
“And so was I.”
“You might have talked to me more at dinner.”
“A man who had felt less, might.”
“A very reasonable response.” Elizabeth chuckled. They sat quietly as she composed her next question.
“Now be sincere; did you admire me for my impertinence”
“For the liveliness of your mind, I did.”
“I recall the veracity of the words I spoke in … I assure you that I have long been most heartily ashamed of my manner for the rejection of your offer.”
“No, Miss Elizabeth. I have been a selfish creature all my life and did not see the error of my ways until you opened my eyes in Kent. The lesson was hard, but one I had to address.”
“Is that why you invited Lord Blake?”
“Once I faced the truth about what I had done, I could not allow the misunderstanding between you and Blake to continue. I seek only your happiness regardless of how it may hurt my own desires. You must not live a life of regret, duty, or obligation.” He whispered her name.
“Thank you, Mr. Darcy.” Elizabeth raised her head. She offered what he thought was a weak smile.
He watched her chest rise and fall with her breath. Her neckline was at an appropriate height. “I will escort you back to the others.” He offered his arm when she did not speak again. They walked silently to the music room where music from Georgiana’s pianoforte filled the air. Darcy found a chair apart from the others and spent the evening trying to swallow the lump in his throat as he recalled every word she said.
***
The sun had barely risen when Darcy entered the dining room. Elizabeth sat at the table in front of a now empty plate, and was the lone diner for breakfast, spreading a fruit jam on her toast. “Good Morning.”
“Good Morning, Mr. Darcy.”
“I expected to see Blake.”
“He finished breakfast early and has taken a morning ride.” Elizabeth watched while Darcy filled his plate with eggs, ham, and toast. He chose to sit in the chair across from her.
“Mr. Darcy, I want to thank you again for the opportunity to speak to Lord Blake. But I also would like to have a word with you in the garden if—”
Rawlings rushed into the room. “Darcy, a carriage is approaching and it sounds like it is in a hurry!”
At once, Darcy pushed the plate of food away, rose, and moved to the window. “It looks like… yes, I am sure of it …Oh God.”
Chapter Twenty-five
“Who is it?” Rawlings asked.
Darcy strained to make out the family crest on the swift moving carriage. “It is Lord Charnwood.”
“Lord Charnwood?”
“I beg your pardon. He is Lord Blake’s father. Please, Miss Elizabeth, remain here.” Darcy signaled to Rawlings to locate Blake while he left to greet the Duke.
He reached the front door as Lord Charnwood stepped out of the carriage. He was of average height with a slim build, and a hint of his fair hair was still evident, although gray locks covered his head. His blue eyes might have been sky blue, had it not been for the anger turning them jet black. His clothes were disheveled but not unduly for a man who had charged forward all night. His boots, however, were dull and scuffed, and one might assume they were merely his favorite pair. When he leaned down to brush his trousers, Darcy spotted the tip of a flask bulging out of his coat. He approached Blake’s father, then bowed respectfully. His gaze drifted towards the stable, but retuned to the Duke when he did not see Blake anywhere.
“Where is she?” Lord Charnwood said, in a tone that defied challenge.
“She?”
“Miss Bennet. Miss Elizabeth Bennet. ”
“Your Grace, I have sent someone to locate your son. He is riding this morning. Perhaps you would like to wait for him in the drawing room.”
“He is here? I should have assumed as much. Well, I am not a man to be kept waiting. Young man, I asked and I demand an answer now, where is she?”
“Lord Charnwood, I am Miss Bennet.” Elizabeth moved swiftly, but not hurriedly.
Darcy motioned for her to stand beside him, and then pointed to the house with his hand. “Lord Charnwood, please, this way. Let us go inside, and I shall order refreshments. You must be tired after the journey.” When the man did not move, Darcy glared at him. “If you prefer, you can wait for your son in my study.”
Lord Charnwood glared at Elizabeth. “I must have a few words with you. Is there somewhere we can talk… privately?”
Darcy moved between the duke and Elizabeth. “Sir. I cannot allow Miss Bennet to go. Now, if you would be so kind to follow me inside, Blake should be here shortly. You should speak to him first.” Darcy turned to Elizabeth. “Your uncle, I believe, is in the library.”
“Mr. Darcy, I would like to speak to His Grace.”
The Duke held his arm to her. “Very well, young lady, and since Mr. Darcy will not secure us a private space inside, I suggest we take a walk to the garden.”
She nodded as she took his arm. Darcy would not be deterred and followed closely behind.
Charnwood looked back with his blackest glare. “Mr. Darcy, this conversation does not concern you.”
Darcy threw his shoulders back, raised his chin. “All conversations in my home concern me, sir, when a guest of mine is imposed upon in such an unexpected manner.” Darcy rose to his full height, which was at least four inches taller than the Duke’s. “I will remain by her side.”
“As you wish.” The duke shrugged. “But I will have my say.”
“He is superbly skilled as a protector, your Grace.” Elizabeth glanced over her shoulder and presented Darcy with a raised brow and a slightly upturned mouth.
Darcy nodded, unsure if she offered him a compliment or a tease.
They proceeded in silence along the gravel walk leading to the garden. Elizabeth made no effort at conversation with the man who was now giving off the appearance of a more than usually insolent and disagreeable guest. As soon as they arrived, Lord Charnwood and Elizabeth separated.
“You can be at no loss, Miss Bennet, to understand the reason of my request to speak to you. Your own heart, your own conscience, must tell you why I come.”
Darcy grew concerned. He recalled Blake’s story on how his father had treated Lady Beatrice. He glanced at Elizabeth and while she did not seem intimidated. She viewed him with a curious expression.
A World of Expectations_Book 2_The Confrontation Page 43
