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Breaking the Code

Page 18

by Gyles Brandreth


  131 Sir Michael Neubert, 1933–2014; MP for Havering & Romford 1974–83, Romford 1983–97.

  132 MP for Cities of London & Westminster 1997–2001; later Baron Brooke of Sutton Mandeville.

  133 1925–2014; Labour MP for Bristol South East 1950–60 and 1963–83, Chesterfield 1984 – 2010.

  134 1930–2007; MP for Oswestry 1961–83, Shropshire North 1983–97; later Baron Biffen.

  135 Labour MP for West Bromwich 1973–4, West Bromwich West 1974–2000. Later Baroness Boothroyd OM.

  136 David Davis, MP for Boothferry since 1987; in the Whips’ Office 1990–93; soon to be nicknamed ‘DD of the SS’ by GB.

  137 Labour MP for Wallasey since 1992.

  138 ‘Where the dykes come from’. Ms Eagle ‘came out’ shortly after joining the government in 1997.

  139 MP for Tunbridge Wells 1974–97; Secretary of State for Northern Ireland 1992–7. Later Baron Mayhew of Twysden.

  140 MP for Acton 1968–70, St Marylebone 1970–83, Mole Valley 1982–97; Secretary of State for Education 1986–9; Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster and party chairman 1989–90; Home Secretary 1990–92. Later Baron Baker of Dorking.

  141 Andrew Mitchell, MP for Gedling 1987–97; he was soon to join the Whips’ Office, 1992–5, and then became Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Social Security at the Department of Social Security 1995–7. Later MP for Sutton Coldfield from 2001, Secretary of State for International Development, 2010–12, and briefly Chief Whip.

  142 Labour MP for Bolsover since 1970.

  143 1944–2006; MEP for Birmingham North 1979–84; MP for Mid-Worcestershire 1983–97.

  144 Labour MP for Southampton Test 1974–9, Dagenham 1983–94; opposition Environment spokesman, soon to contest for the Labour leadership and deputy leadership unsuccessfully, abandon politics and return to his native New Zealand.

  145 1933–99; MP for Cambridge 1976–92.

  146 MP for Woodspring 1992–2010; North Somerset from 2010.

  147 MP for Brecon & Radnor 1992–7. Both Fox and Evans were promoted ahead of GB.

  148 1926–2001; MP for Woking 1964–97; chairman of the 1922 Committee of Conservative Backbenchers 1984–92. Later Baron Onslow of Woking KCMG.

  149 Richard Ryder, MP for Norfolk Mid 1983–97; Chief Whip 1990–95. Later Baron Ryder of Wensum.

  150 1927–2002; MP for Shipley 1970–97.

  151 MP for Stafford 1984–97; Stone from 1997.

  152 1937–98; MP for Wolverhampton North West 1974–97.

  153 1933–95; for Kinross and West Perthshire 1974–83, Perth and Kinross 1983–1995.

  154 1924–2001; Labour MP Stepney 1964–70, Stepney and Poplar 1974–83, Bethnal Green and Stepney 1983–97. Later Baron Shore of Stepney.

  155 MP for Glasgow Cathcart 1964–79, Southend East 1980–2005.

  156 Labour MP for Grimsby 1977–83, Great Grimsby since 1983.

  157 MP for Monmouth 1992–7.

  158 MP for Chingford since 1992.

  159 MP for Devon West & Torridge 1987–97. Later Baroness Nicholson of Winterbourne.

  160 Tim Smith, MP for Ashfield 1977–79, Beaconsfield 1982–97; a contemporary of GB at university.

  161 1931–95; MP for Huddersfield West 1979–83, Littleborough & Saddleworth 1983–1995.

  162 1913–92, cookery writer.

  163 MP for Colchester North 1992–7; North Essex 1997–2010; Harwich & North Essex since 2010.

  164 Early Day Motion: a means of setting out backbench opinion on a specific issue. An MP tables a motion expressing a view and invites colleagues to become cosignatories. The motion is printed in the following day’s Order Paper in the theoretical expectation it may be debated ‘at an early day’. It never is. In the 1939–40 session twenty-one EDMs were tabled. In the ’50s around a hundred were tabled annually. Now EDMs are tabled by the thousand and because of the number of them and the range of issues raised – the future of the European Union, the performance of an MP’s local football team – the currency has been wholly devalued.

  165 MP for Morecambe & Lonsdale 1979–83, Morecambe & Lunesdale 1983–97; Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State at the Foreign Office 1990–94.

  166 Major-General Martin had been Colonel of the 22 (Cheshire) Regiment in the ’70s and was now one of the leaders of the campaign to prevent the Regiment’s proposed amalgamation.

  167 David Mellor, MP for Putney 1979–97.

  168 MP for Cannock 1970–74, Staffordshire South 1974–2010; later Baron Cormack.

  169 MP for Hartlepool 1992–2004; formerly the Labour Party’s director of campaigns and communications 1985–90. Later Baron Mandelson.

  170 Sir Anthony Durant, MP for Reading North 1974–83, Reading West 1983–97.

  171 MP for Arundel & Shoreham 1971–4, Shoreham 1974–92; Minister for the Arts 1985–90. Later Lord Chamberlain to the Queen and Baron Luce KG, GCVO.

  172 Roy Hattersley, Labour MP for Birmingham Sparkbrook 1964–97; Deputy Leader of the Labour Party 1983–92. Later Baron Hattersley.

  173 Baroness Blatch, Minister of State at the Department for Education 1992–4.

  174 MP for Stockton South 1987–97.

  175 MP for Nottingham West 1959–64, Horncastle 1966–83, Lindsey East 1983–97, Louth & Horncastle since 1997; Father of the House from 2010.

  176 MP for Stirling 1983–97. Later Baron Forsyth of Drumlean.

  177 1927–2013; MP for Newcastle East 1959–64, Brierley Hill 1967–74, Altrincham & Sale 1974–97.

  178 1935–2007; MP for Southend West 1959–97. He was elected in a by-election and succeeded his father, the diarist Henry ‘Chips’ Channon, who had been MP for Southend-on-Sea 1935–58. Later Baron Kelvedon.

  179 MP for Salisbury 1983–2010.

  180 MP for Watford 1979–97; Minister for Europe 1990–93. Later Baron Garel-Jones.

  181 Eaton Hall, the Chester home of the Duke of Westminster.

  182 MP for Macclesfield 1971–2010.

  183 GB was completely wrong. The play was a critical and commercial success and Cadell won an Olivier Award for his performance.

  184 1924–2010; MP for Holborn & St Pancras South 1959–64, East Grinstead 1965–83, Wealden 1983–2001.

  185 The Times’ economics editor 1990–2010.

  186 MP for Staffordshire Mid 1992–7; Lichfield since 1997.

  187 1940–2014; MP for Bradford West 1970–74, Ruislip Northwood 1979–2005.

  188 MP for Worcestershire South 1974–2010; later Baron Spicer.

  189 MP for Ayr 1992–7.

  190 1939–93; MP for Newbury 1992–3; political secretary to the Prime Minister 1990–92.

  191 Shadow Chancellor; Labour MP for Dunfermline East 1983–2005; Kirkcaldy & Cowdenbeath since 2005. Chancellor of the Exchequer, 1997–2007; Prime Minister, 2007–10.

  192 MP for Whitehaven 1970–83, Copeland 1983–2005; later Baron Cunningham of Felling.

  193 Minister of State for Environment; MP for Wokingham since 1987.

  194 MP for Bridgwater 1970–2001; later Baron King of Bridgwater.

  195 Unnamed Cabinet colleague, quoted in Iain Macleod by Nigel Fisher (1973).

  196 Brooke had been brought back into government as Mellor’s replacement as Seretary of State for National Heritage.

  197 The UK permanent representative to the European Community 1990–95.

  198 European Commissioner, Vice-President of the European Commission 1989–92 and since 1995; MP for Cleveland & Whitby 1974–83, Richmond North Yorkshire 1983–8. Later Baron Brittan of Spennithorne.

  199 Minister of State at Defence; MP for Thanet East 1974–83, Thanet South 1983–97.

  200 Actor, 1922–92.

  201 1913–1992; Chancellor of the Federal Republic of Germany 1969–74.

  202 Entertainer, 1933–96; he had been injured in a car accident.

  203 Anthony Barbour, High Sherriff of Cheshire 1987–8, and his wife Diana.

  204 Baron Walker of Worcester since 1992; MP for
Worcester 1961–92.

  205 1940–2010, MP for Stretford 1970–83, Davyhulme 1983–97; grandson of Sir Winston.

  206 MP for Batley & Spen 1983–97.

  207 Armed Forces Minister; MP for Epsom & Ewell 1978–2001; later Baron Hamilton of Epsom.

  208 In the Whips’ Office 1992–4; MP for Harrow West 1987–97.

  209 MP for Harrow Central 1964–83, Cambridgeshire South West 1983–97.

  210 1935–2002; MP for Reigate 1974–97.

  211 1918–1999; MP for Penrith & the Border 1955–83; from 1983 Viscount Whitelaw KT, CH.

  212 MP for Finchley 1992–7.

  213 1932–95; a senior whip; MP for Staffordshire South East 1983–95.

  214 MP for Billericay 1987–2001.

  215 Sir Richard Scott’s ‘Report of the Inquiry into the Export of Defence Equipment and Dual-Use Goods to Iraq and Related Prosecutions’ was eventually published on 15 February 1996. The key questions were: had ministers and officials connived with exporters to enable the export of defence-related material contrary to official government policy? Had ministers modified the policy on arms exports to Iraq and misled the House on the issue? In relation to the trial of the directors of the firm Matrix Churchill charged with contravening the export ban, had ministers signed Public Interest Immunity Certificates objecting to the disclosure of documents required in the case in an attempt either to cover-up government misdemeanour or avoid embarrassment, knowing that without access to the documents innocent defendants might suffer conviction and imprisonment?

  216 1938–2010; MP for Hemel Hempstead 1979–83, Bedfordshire Mid since 1983; Solicitor-General 1987–92; Attorney-General 1992–7. Later Baron Lyell of Markyate.

  217 1st Earl of Birkenhead, 1872–1930; Attorney-General in 1915; youngest Lord Chancellor in 1919.

  218 1913–99; Private Secretary to Princess Elizabeth 1950–52; Assistant Private Secretary to the Queen 1952–72; Private Secretary to the Queen 1972–7; a Permanent Lord in Waiting to the Queen from 1978.

  219 Private Secretary to the Queen 1990–99.

  220 MP for Harborough since 1992.

  221 MP for Sutton & Cheam 1992–7.

  222 Parliamentary Secretary at the Office of Public Service 1992–3; MEP for Upper Thames 1979–84; MP for Wantage 1983–2005. Jackson, Waldegrave and GB were Presidents of the Oxford Union in 1967, 1968 and 1969.

  223 1913–94; US President 1969–74.

  224 US President since 1989, he had just been defeated in the presidential election by Bill Clinton.

  225 US President 1993–2001.

  226 Leader page editor on the Daily Telegraph 1991–4.

  227 MP for Havant since 1992.

  228 Andrew Miller, Labour MP for Ellesmere Port since 1992. 1992

  229 MP for Stratford-upon-Avon 1983–97.

  230 MP for Tiverton 1992–2010; later Baroness Browning.

  231 Liberal Democrat MP for Rochdale 1992–7.

  232 Labour MP for Bassetlaw 1968–2001.

  233 Labour MP for Hampstead & Highgate since 1992.

  234 ‘Gyles Brandreth has decided to do within Parliament what he does best outside it. Mr Brandreth speaks after dinner. He believes in free speech but not free speeches. For decades he has been making rather good ones, for money. As dusk fell yesterday, the House enjoyed a rare treat: a top-class after-dinner Brandreth speech – but before dinner, and free. His subject was his proposed new bill (it will never, of course, become law) to encourage the use of “plain language” in consumer contracts … If we were to judge his performance yesterday, we could do no better than quote Sir Noel Coward’s impromptu response upon unexpectedly meeting the schmaltzy American pianist, Liberace, on the Queen Mary. “How do you do, Mr Liberace.” (Embarrassed pause.) “I think you do” (pause) “what you do, very well.”’ Matthew Parris in The Times, 9 December 1992.

  235 Labour MP for Newport West since 1987.

  236 Ulster Unionist MP for Londonderry 1974–83, Londonderry East 1983–5 and 1986–2001.

  237 Leader of the Democratic Unionist Party; MEP since 1979; MP for Antrim North 1970–85 and 1986–2010.

  238 1934–94; Labour MP for Keighley 1974–83; MEP for Sheffield 1984–9; MP for Bradford South 1987–94.

  CHAPTER IV

  1993

  FRIDAY 1 JANUARY 1993

  A thousand beacons blazed across the European Community at midnight to usher in the single market: one Europe of 340 million people. Mr Major (somewhat startlingly) sees 1993 as ‘the year of charity and helping your neighbour’. This makes me a little ashamed to confess that I see 1993 as the year of looking after Number One!

  What are my hopes/ambitions/resolutions for the year? Mundane.

  1. I need to get the office organised. Jenny is a joy, always has been. She is my ideal PA – she does everything I ask of her and asks absolutely nothing of me. I couldn’t tell you a thing about her private life, the date of her birthday, the colour of her eyes. All I know is that she’s never late, she’s never sick, she’s brilliant on the telephone and she hoovers up the work. I have the perfect PA; what I now need is a good constituency secretary. I’m glad Angela moved on. I think I was seduced by the fact she was American and had once worked for Bob Dole! Joy looks the part: middle-aged, mousey, spinster-like and, at least this time, I got Michèle and Jenny to meet her too. We shall see.

  2. I need to get on top of the correspondence. Sir Jack Temple told me that when he was the Chester MP he could manage a week’s correspondence in a single morning in the Library, replying personally to each letter by hand. Now we all get hundreds of letters every week and I have discovered that it’s not the quality of the reply that seems to count but its promptness. Fail to answer the letter within a fortnight and in week three there’s a complaint in the local paper. ‘I wrote to Mr Brandreth on December. I still haven’t even had the courtesy of a reply…’ Bah. Peter Tapsell told me of the colleague of the old school who dealt with his correspondence on the terrace every morning at eleven with a massive G&T. As he opened the mail, he filed it immediately – straight over the parapet into the Thames. I can’t be that cavalier (though I sense several are), but I can aim to achieve what most of my colleagues achieve: let the secretary draft the bulk of the replies and only look at complicated cases myself.

  3. I need to keep the constituency happy – that means keeping the Association activists happy (difficult, as they’re insatiable) and ensuring I get sufficient local press coverage to give the broader constituency the impression I’m ‘busy’ on their behalf. (God knows, I am busy, but to how much real effect? ‘Don’t tell me how hard you work; tell me how much you get done.’)

  4. I need to become a PPS. I am embarrassed to confess that when Stephen [Milligan] became a PPS before Christmas I was irritated. Why should he be the first of our intake to get his foot on the ladder, and not me? The truth is because he’s better at it: better informed, more intellectually focused, braver in the Chamber, more robust in debate. He deserves his success, he’s earned it, he’s my friend and I should be pleased … and yet, and yet … (‘I must keep aiming higher and higher – even though I know how silly it is.’ – Aristotle Onassis.)

  5. I need to earn more money. Michèle says Grey Gowrie239 was right: you can’t lead a middle-class lifestyle on a parliamentary salary. We have a large house in London, we’re buying somewhere in the constituency, we have three children in private education – it’s a frigging nightmare! I know I shall never be seriously rich because, while I find money necessary I don’t find it interesting. On the financial front in 1993 ‘something must be done’.

  6. I need to be a better husband and father. Not easy, given 1 to 5 above!

  SUNDAY 3 JANUARY 1993

  Revised New Year message from the PM. Yesterday we were heralding the year of loving our neighbour. Today he’s forecasting the dawning of a new era of Thatcherite prosperity.

  Clearly, there’s going to be something for everyone in 1993…

  W
e’re off to Kensal Green cemetery with Theo and Lee,240 in search of Thackeray’s and Trollope’s graves. I am reading Can You Forgive Her?

  It is the highest and most legitimate pride of an Englishman to have the letters MP written after his name. No selection from the alphabet, no doctorship, no fellowship, be it of ever so learned or royal a society, no knightship – not though it be of the Garter – confers so fair an honour.

  SUNDAY 3 JANUARY 1993

  The benighted John Major and the newly knighted David Frost got together on the box this morning and the PM admitted that perhaps he hadn’t offered sufficient clarity as to what his government is all about – and then proceeded to devote most of the interview to talking about the Prince of Wales’ marriage and the Citizen’s Charter! Maastricht, Mellor, the ERM, unemployment, the pits, we judder from shambles to catastrophe to disaster and still our leader speaks of the Citizen’s Charter. This morning Gladstone was even prayed in aid: ‘Gladstone said you make a candle by picking up candle ends. That’s how you make proper public service, by dealing with people’s small frustrations.’ Um.

  WEDNESDAY 13 JANUARY 1993

  We’re back and it’s business as usual. On Monday night we were still voting at midnight. Last night I got away at half past twelve, and today we’re resuming our line by line consideration of the European Communities (Amendment) Bill – and we all know what that means.

  I have just dozed through the National Heritage Select Committee’s grilling (well, gentle toasting) of Peter Brooke (amiable, courteous, concerned and waffly) because I was up at 5.30 a.m. to offer my two cents’ worth on the breaking scandal from Down Under: tapes of an embarrassingly intimate telephone conversation between Prince Charles and his mistress, Camilla Parker-Bowles. Our papers have only hinted at the content. At GMTV they had faxed versions of the complete transcript, but because I’d been rather po-faced on air, condemning the monstrous invasion of privacy that these tapes represent, I didn’t then have the nerve to sneak off with a copy of the offending material. It was a mixture of the lurid and the juvenile: goonish nicknames and HRH fantasising about life as one of Camilla’s tampons…

 

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