I should feel something. Guilt, anger . . . something. Nothing comes through.
“I hate seeing you like this, Lil,” he whispers against my skin.
For a long moment, neither of us says anything. It’s as if I’m here, but not really. A shell of me lying in bed with a man I never should’ve touched. The comfort he gave me last night was amazing— wrong, but amazing. He’s not Blake though, and every fiber of my being belongs to the man who’s going to have a baby with that evil bitch.
“I love him, Dres. What am I supposed to do?”
He sits back and sighs, rubbing his hand over his head. “You’ve got to forgive him, Lil. He fucked up. We fucked up— last night and last year. Everyone makes mistakes.”
“Can you forgive Shannon?”
“I want to. Eventually, yes. Being with you was . . . amazing. But, she’s my future. No amount of anger is going to change that. Blake is your future.”
Huffing, I slide out of bed and yank my pants on. My back stings as I clip on my bra and adjust it. Gritting my teeth and running my fingers through my tangled mess of hair, I mentally prepare myself to go back to the main house. Dresden gets dressed and kisses my shoulder as we leave the comfort of the guesthouse.
It’s after nine at night and, in the back of my mind, I’m surprised no one came looking for us. The light shines through the curtains of the safe house and two SUV’s, that aren’t ours, are parked out front.
“Wonder who’s here?” Dresden’s voice is tight.
“Don’t say anything about last night,” I whisper as we stop outside the front door.
He nods, opening the door. All the color drains from my face as my eyes fall on Blake and Maria. Coldness runs through me, causing my shoulders to shake. Rounding the corner, I’m halted. Hyde, Hastin, and Dr. Kinderson, another Interpol psychiatrist, stand with an older woman in a doctor’s coat. She’s short with gray hair and startling blue eyes and a no-nonsense stance.
“Good evening, Agents,” Hyde says, failing to disguise the anger in his voice.
“Evening, sir,” Dresden says, stopping next to me.
Tears pool in my eyes again, scenes from last night flashing through my memory.
I can’t do this.
Hyde starts talking, but it’s as if we’re in a wind tunnel. The words don’t fully reach my ears— it’s just a muffled mess. My body shakes, the room darkening at the edges.
“Lily,” Hastin says, his voice breaking through the blackness.
I meet his gaze, the tears spilling down my cheeks. He pulls me into a hug, his hand pressing into the wounds on my back and I cry out, almost crumbling to the ground.
“What’s happened?” He lets go immediately as Dresden grabs my waist, holding me upright.
Blake and Hastin move behind me.
“Shit,” Hastin gasps under his breath. “Did she do this to herself?”
“Yes,” Dresden whispers.
“Oh, Lily,” Blake breathes.
Part of me wants to turn around and hold him, let him make this okay. A bigger part of me wants to beat the shit out of him. The woman in the doctor’s coat joins them, sucking in a sharp breath.
“Get her into one of the spare rooms. Now.”
“No,” I mumble, hardly able to form words. “Hyde.”
“Lily?” He steps forward as I push myself upright and step away from Dresden.
“I’m done. I want out.”
“Lily, you can’t,” Sammi yells.
“Boa,” I plead. “Look at me. It’s over. I won’t live much longer if I stay here.”
“No, Viper. We’ll get through this, please.”
I shake my head as my knees give out. Dresden and Samuel grab either side of me.
Where the hell did the kid come from?”
“Get her in the room, now,” the unnamed woman snaps.
We move with ease, my feet dragging the floor, and they sit me on the bed.
“Samuel.” I grab his arm as he turns to go.
“Yes, ma’am,” he says, kneeling next to me.
“Take care of Sorina for me. None of this is her fault.”
“You and Mr. Mason are going to take care of her. We’re not letting you go this easily.”
I open my mouth to retort, but the doctor sweeps in and ushers them out of the room. Hastin is with her.
“I need you to fight, Lily,” he says sternly. “You got out of the darkness once. Don’t go back there. Don’t let this consume you. You’ve got to fight.”
“Who are you,” I ask the female doctor.
“Elaine Monroe.”
“Hyde’s wife?”
“Yes,” she says smiling for the first time.
Hastin sits next to me, his eyes focused over my shoulder. He clasps both my hands, pressing down as Elaine pours something cold over my back. The sting burrows deep in the wounds, making my vision blacken, and stars dancing in my sight. I scream, trying to pull my hands from the vice grip around them.
As the pain subsides, she does it again. I zone out as she examines me, and Hastin talks softly in my ear. He’s a good man and one hell of a psychiatrist. A half-hour goes by before he leaves. Elaine sits on the bed next to me, her face tight with irritation, except for her eyes. They’re soft, reassuring, and sad.
“Is there a chance you’re pregnant?”
“No, doc. I can’t have kids.”
“Rest here for a few. I’m going to go take a look at Agent Johanson and find out if there is any truth to her pregnancy claims.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I lean sideways, my head falling on the pillow. Exhaustion pulls at my body and I drift, despair rising in my unconsciousness.
†††
Knocking pierces through the veil of my nightmare. Rubbing my eyes, I roll onto my back, wincing.
“Come in.”
The door opens and Blake steps in, closing it behind him. “Can we talk?”
Sighing, my back throbs, rubbing against the blanket as I scoot over so he can sit. He reaches for my hands, stopping midway, letting his fall onto the bed between us.
He runs a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. “Lily, I’m so sorry.”
“I know. So am I.”
“Tell me how to fix this. I can’t lose you, baby,” he says, his voice cracking at the end.
“If she’s really pregnant, Blake, there’s no fixing this.”
“And if she’s not?”
“Then we’ll find a way.”
“Did you sleep with Dresden last night just to get back at me,” he blurts out, venom coloring his tone.
I grit my teeth. I’m going to punch Dresden in the damn face.
“No. It just . . . happened. I shouldn’t have, we both know that.”
“I wanted to punch him in the mouth when he told me. Shannon put me in my place though.”
“I bet she’s pissed.”
“No. She says we brought this on ourselves and have no right to be angry that you and he found comfort in each other. Doesn’t make me any less pissed though.”
“Why did you sleep with her?”
“Oh, Lily. I got drunk. She came into my room wearing nothing. I fucked up, okay. I’d give anything to take it back, but I can’t.”
“I’m so confused,” I whisper.
Maria was right about one thing. At the time Blake slept with her, he thought I was dead. The rational part of me knows being angry with him isn’t fair. The pain right now is no different from what was in him then. We’ve both shattered each other so much without really meaning to.
Gently, I lay my hand over his. “I’m sorry. This never would’ve happened if I hadn’t left.”
He cups the side of my face, his touch sending warmth through my body, pushing back the chill that’s coursed through me since yesterday. “No, baby. We both screwed up. We can fix this though; I know we can.”
He leans toward me as the door creaks open, stopping him in his tracks.
“Hyde needs everyone
out here,” Dresden says.
Blake sighs and stands, holding his hand out to help me up. Pulling my arm, he spins me around to face him. His eyes stay on mine as he clasps my bracelet around my left wrist and slides my engagement ring back onto my finger.
“Thank you.” Keeping my hand in Blake’s, I glare at Dresden. “What happened to keeping your fucking mouth shut?”
“Deal with it.”
My eyes reach for the heavens and Dresden has the audacity to laugh. It makes me want to hit him.
Fucker.
Everyone has gathered in the living room again. Blake squeezes my hand, and Sorina barrels toward us, Sam right behind her. She takes in mine and Blake’s hands and wraps her arms around me.
“Easy, kiddo. My back hurts like a bitch.”
“Sorry,” she mutters.
I kiss her hair and chuckle. “It’s okay.”
“Let’s get this over with,” Elaine says, stepping into the middle of the room. “Dr. Saladinya and Dr. Kinderson should stay here for the time being. Some people here will probably need them.”
“Not a problem,” Dr. Kinderson says, glancing at me.
I roll my eyes. She’s not my favorite person, and I’ll talk to Hastin before her any day.
“Now, to get to the major issue,” Hyde says, stepping forward. “Since you all thought it was necessary to air all this openly, we’re going to do the same.”
“Oh, shit,” Dresden says under his breath as Shannon snuggles against his side.
A grin spreads across my face. I’m glad they’re going to work shit out. They belong together and Dres deserves to be happy. Maria shuffles from one foot to the other, her face going red, fists clenching at her sides. Nothing would give me greater pleasure than punching her in the face.
“Agent Johanson is not pregnant,” Elaine states with force.
My cheeks heat, my feet moving forward until Blake pulls on my hand, stopping me.
“And a lie like that, which intentionally could’ve cost us two of the best agents on this team, will not go without consequences. Agent Johanson, you’re relieved of your post here and will face disciplinary action back in DC.” Hyde gives her a pointed stare, and she narrows her eyes, something wicked dancing in them.
“You fucking bitch,” I hiss, tearing my hand out of Blake’s and bee-lining for her.
My fist connects with her face as several arms grab me, pulling me backward. She stumbles back, clutching her cheek.
“Calm down, Lily,” Vlad snaps, yanking me backward.
My chest rises and falls rapidly, the desire to beat that whore until her face caves in taking over and blocking out all logical sense. Sammi steps in front of me, gently squeezing the side of my neck.
“Breath, Viper. That cunt ain’t worth you losing your job over.”
I gasp at her vulgarity. Sammi’s never been a foul mouth in all the time she’s been with this team, despite the fact the rest of us are. I stop struggling and straighten myself, my cheeks warming as Sammi raises her eyebrows.
“I’ve never heard you talk like that.”
“Well, I’ve hated that bitch since she showed up 12 months ago.”
I bite my lip, trying to suppress the urge to laugh, but it’s no use. Blake pulls me to his side as a fit of giggles erupts from my throat. Soon, we’re all chuckling, and Sammi hugs me gently, careful not to touch my back.
“If you all are finished, we have one more issue to discuss,” Hyde says, forcing the grin off his face.
We turn toward him, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“While Maria isn’t pregnant, there is one female here who is, and everyone needs to take extra care not to put more stress on her than needed,” Elaine smiles.
“I’m sorry,” I say, confusion evident in my tone. “Who’s pregnant?”
“I am,” Shannon says softly looking at the floor.
My heart stops . . . literally.
“What,” Dresden whispers taking a step toward her, his hands twitching at his sides.
“Very newly pregnant, apparently. Three or four weeks,” she says glancing at him through her eyelashes.
Well fuck . . . didn’t see that one coming
11
~Lily~
Dresden splays his hand across her stomach, a shocked grin taking over his expression. Tears well up in Shannon’s eyes as she covers his hand with hers. Guilty doesn’t begin to cover how I feel now, in light of this particular news.
Can we ever just have a normal, non-excitement filled day?
Blake walks past me and hugs Shannon to his chest. She wraps her arms around him and my heart melts. This is how a family should be and more than ever before, the thought of leaving Interpol for a normal life nags at me.
As Blake steps back, releasing his sister, the rest of the group converge on them, hugging her and Dresden. Carmen and Sorina, both in tears, giggle and talk so fast it makes my head spin. Teresa darts into the kitchen and the clanking of glass echoes off the walls.
Blake steps in front of me and my smile vanishes, my eyes downcast. All the emotions I’ve pushed down for the last few days bubble in my throat, tears stinging my eyes. He presses his fingers under my chin and tilts my head up, forcing me to look him in the face.
“Stop with the crying,” he whispers, leaning down to press his lips to mine.
Everything about him is warm and inviting, and all the memories flood back, this time welcome, reminding me of why we’re here. My hands tangle in his hair and I pull him flush against me. His hands snake around my waist, resting on my ass. Tears stream silently down my face as his tongue finds mine in a dance I never thought I’d experience again.
“I’m so sorry,” I cry against his lips.
“Shh, baby. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.” He kisses me again before leaning his forehead against mine. “Lily, I love you. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t.” Sobs erupt from my throat and he buries his face in my hair, squeezing his arms around my shoulders.
A blinding pain radiates through my side and lower back. My body arches, collapsing into Blake’s arms as I scream, warm wetness seeping from the point of pain down my backside to my thighs.
Commotion resounds around me but everything blurs. Samuel halts next to Blake, his gun drawn, the colors of his clothes going in and out of focus. His hands extend in front of him and a gunshot echoes off the walls, my knees buckling in perfect time with the last of the vibration.
My hand shakes as I reach behind me, fingertips sliding over the hilt of a knife. My body shudders as I grip the handle and pull, another sharp explosion shattering what willpower I have left. The pain is immeasurable, and the blade falls from my hand before I can look at it.
Everything blinks in and out.
Blake’s lips move, the sound muffled and distance. “Lily,” he says, “Stay with me, baby.”
Yelling filters through the haze, my eyes opening and closing of their own accord. I’m moving, tucked against Blake’s chest, the lights flashing like a strobe as I fight the blackness creeping into my mind.
Fight Lily! Stay Awake!
A screaming hits my ears and it takes a moment before I realize it’s me making the sound. The darkness is stronger than me, and I start to fade. My body tilts to the side and rolls until I’m on my stomach face down. Strong hands grip my head and turn it to the side.
“Come on, Lily, fight, damn it.”
Vlad?
Pressure takes over my back and side, fingers moving inside the gash in my back.
“She’s losing too much blood. Hyde, get my bags, I think her kidney’s ruptured.”
“Blake,” I whisper.
Lips press against my forehead, and my body relaxes at the touch, letting the fog clouding my brain come through. Everything fades, faster and faster.
“I’m here, love. Hold on.”
I’m gone.
†††
~Blake~
Vlad and Dresden help a small In
terpol team document the murder of Maria Johanson as I sit in a chair with Lily’s cold hand wrapped in mine. Elaine Monroe sits on the other side of the bed, hooking Lily up to an IV and heart monitor.
“I’m going to give her a sedative, keep her out of it for a few days,” she says moving to her bags.
She fills a needle with a clear liquid from a small glass bottle.
“Is that necessary?” The lump in my throat makes it hard to talk, and it’s taking everything in me not to break down and cry.
“Blake, her kidney was ruptured. She’s got a gash in her back that’s over four inches long, and fourteen other gashes from the flogging she gave herself. If she doesn’t rest, her body is going to breakdown.”
Sighing, I nod. The strongest woman I’ve ever met is weak and cold with no color in her face. Her eyes don’t move behind her lids and if it weren’t for the monitor’s slow beep, she’d be taken for dead.
I press my lips to her hand and lay my head on the bed.
“You should get some rest, Blake.” My father shuffles into the room, past Elaine, and sits on the open side of the bed. He reaches out and tucks a strand of Lily’s hair behind her ear.
“I’m fine. I’m not leaving until she wakes up.”
He chuckles. “I never thought you and her would last. How wrong I was.”
Despite my exhaustion, anger bubbles in my blood. “Unlike you, I don’t give up on the person I love.”
“Blake, I messed up where your mother was concerned. I treated her badly. I know that. You can hate me all you want, but you’ll never hate me more than I do.”
My head snaps up, eyes wide. He’s never once, in all this time, said he felt bad for what he did. We’ve never discussed my mother or what he did to her. He and Carmen always pretend as if it’s some imagined past.
“You’re telling me this, why?”
“Lily has almost died several times trying to save our family and your sister is pregnant. If we don’t fix the issues between us, Carmen and I will lose you both. Despite what you think, I love you and Shannon, and I don’t want the past to be a barrier between us anymore.”
The Gallows at Midnight Page 8
