His by Christmas

by Teresa Southwick

  “Even on vacation?”

  “I know, right?” Cal neither confirmed nor denied.

  “She has a lovely phone voice,” Katherine observed.

  Everything about her was lovely, but he wasn’t telling his mom that. Especially since Justine’s door was open and she could overhear. Cal knew this was Katherine’s way of trying to get information out of him. He figured it was a mom thing but that didn’t make it any less irritating.

  “Justine has many fine qualities,” he finally said in an attempt to pacify her.

  “How did you two meet?”

  It was like this woman could read his mind and knew he was lying, if not outright then in spirit. How was he going to respond without an actual falsehood?

  “Believe it or not, Mom, I opened the door to the villa where I’m staying and there she was. Turns out that someone at registration sent her here.”

  “It’s a sign,” said his mother, the romantic, the matchmaker, the woman who believed that love truly did conquer all. It was probable that she also believed unicorns were real. “Maybe you two are meant to be.”

  Not likely. The attraction was probably him being punished for some horrible crime against karma. “She’s a very special woman,” he said sincerely.

  “I’m so glad you met someone to spend time with on your vacation. What have you been up to?”

  “Well, I went skydiving.” That was before Justine and seemed like a lifetime ago.

  There was a groan from the other end of the line. “I can’t believe you jumped out of a perfectly good airplane on purpose.”

  Hmm. Justine had said something similar. Although she’d called him a sanity-challenged, adrenaline junkie thrill seeker. “Believe it.”

  “Obviously you lived to tell about it,” she said wryly. “But that is not my idea of a good time.”

  As it turned out, she was right. A broken leg wasn’t much fun. But he wasn’t going to mention that part. Not only had it resulted in him violating the spirit of the wager with his brother, the information would worry his mother needlessly.

  “It was actually exhilarating.” Until the hard landing.

  “Please tell me that Justine’s interests run to safer, less adventurous activities.”

  Justine had actually called his pursuits life-threatening but that was irrelevant to this conversation. “She has scheduled things to do that don’t require one’s feet to leave the ground.”

  “I’m liking her more and more,” Katherine said enthusiastically. “Tell me all about it.”

  This wasn’t new for her. Some of his earliest memories involved this woman encouraging him to talk about things. But for some reason, this time bugged him more than it usually did. This was more of an inquisition. He imagined a hostile witness felt this way when an attorney was trying to trip him up and reveal more than intended.

  “Are you spying on me for Sam?”

  “No.” There was a long pause. “Yes. Well, spying, maybe, but Sam didn’t put me up to it. I’m concerned and want to know that you’re relaxing, recharging your batteries.”

  He wasn’t, but that was his own fault. “I’m fine, Mom.”

  “If you say so.” There was a moment of silence before she said, “So tell me what you’ve been up to.”

  “Well...Justine convinced me to sit on the beach with a book.”

  “No,” she said, sounding shocked. “You actually sat still long enough to read?”

  Not exactly. He’d actually made her sit still long enough to talk. “It was a beautiful day. Sun, sand, sea.”

  “That sounds lovely. What else?”

  “Justine signed me up for a basket weaving class.”

  “I did that to your father when we were there.” Katherine’s laugh was full of delight. “I’m pretty sure he’s never forgiven me. His finished product looked like a funky coaster.”

  “I feel his pain.” Cal shook his head ruefully but the revelation made him smile. And the memory of that afternoon washed over him, warm and bittersweet. “Justine tried to put an optimistic spin on it—the beginning of an area rug. A place mat for a very small plate.”

  “She sounds charming.”

  And so much more, he thought. She had a way of getting him to do things he didn’t want to, then wonder why he ever thought it would be so bad. Or maybe just doing them with her made all the difference in the world. He wasn’t willing to find out which.

  “She’s very pleasant company,” he finally said.

  “Oh, Cal—” Katherine sounded disappointed in him. “You’re still doing it.”

  “What?”

  “Keeping women at a distance.”

  Just this one, he thought. When he looked at his marriage, he could trace the reason for failure back to his decision to move forward with the woman who’d loved his brother first. He was in that place now with Justine, at a crossroads. The path that brought them together was riddled with land mines and the one that they traveled separately kept everyone safe. That’s the one he planned to take, for her sake. And maybe a little for his.

  “Let it go, Mom. I’m on vacation.”

  “You’re right. And it sounds like you’re having a wonderful time. I’m so glad.”

  “So you’re going to stop worrying about me?”

  “Fat chance.” She laughed. “I’ll just keep it to myself.”

  “Fat chance,” he said back. But he wouldn’t have it any other way.

  Cal chatted with her a couple more minutes before ending the call. He set the phone on the table and finished his Scotch, thinking about how his assistant had been a big part of the conversation. He wasn’t sure what that meant.

  And speaking of her, she poked her head out the door and asked, “Is everything okay?”

  No, he wanted to say. He’d missed her today and dinner was lonely. None of that came out of his mouth. “You are in so much trouble.”

  She moved outside and sat in the chair beside his. “I wasn’t sure whether or not to answer. The caller ID came up as private and I didn’t know who it was. I thought it might be important, so—”

  “My mom wanted to know all about the professional-sounding woman who answered my phone.”

  “Oh, Cal—” She looked upset. “I hope I didn’t ruin anything for you.”

  “The wager is secure.” He stretched his bad leg out in front of him. “And I really need to thank you.”

  “Why?”

  “If you hadn’t bullied me into leisure activities I would have had to lie outright instead of tweaking the truth. So I’m grateful to you.” But much less thankful for how hot she looked in the yoga clothes she still wore.

  “I’m glad. So in addition to relaxing you, the excursion gave you cover.” She met his gaze. “You missed a good one today. The island is beautiful. The guide took me up to the highest point and you could see everything. It was absolutely spectacular.”

  And you’re an idiot, he filled in silently. That was probably true and wouldn’t be the first time. The real question was how he moved forward. He had two options. Send her back to Blackwater Lake and soldier on alone or tough it out for the next two weeks.

  Both had a downside. He’d undertaken projects that were time-sensitive, and bringing in another assistant—assuming anyone would accept the job—would be challenging. It would be time-consuming to get them up to speed. And the fewer people who knew he was violating the spirit of the wager, the better.

  If he changed nothing, he would have to continue to keep Justine at a distance, and every day his willpower was tested in new and different ways.

  But with two weeks left until he won the bet, the smart move was to put on his big boy pants and stay the course. Even if it killed him.

  Vacation really sucked.

  * * *

 
; Two days after the phone call, Justine was done feeling guilty about answering Cal’s cell and forcing him to explain her to his mother. Ever since then he’d been crabby and monosyllabic. If he’d been that way when she first arrived to work for him, it would be easier to deal with now, but that wasn’t the case. In the beginning he’d treated her to his charm and sense of humor. The boss he’d turned into since seeing her scarred leg was like Mr. Hyde to Dr. Jekyll. She’d nearly used up all of her grit trying to pretend things were normal, but maybe she could manage to dredge up just a little more.

  “I think this chicken might just be the best I ever had.” She was sitting at the villa’s dining table to Cal’s right.

  “It’s like shoe leather.”

  “Maybe it’s just the piece you got,” she said, putting as much cheer as possible into her voice. “I’ll switch with you.”

  “No. It will do.” Without looking at her he took another bite.

  She, on the other hand, had to bite her tongue to keep from calling him a martyr. “I was thinking about ordering dessert tonight. George was telling me about a cobbler the chef does with fruit grown here on the island. In fact, I saw the fields on the tour the other day.”

  His scowl turned a little darker at the mention of her solo excursion. “No dessert for me. With this damn cast on I can’t work out.”

  “You told me the cast is coming off in a week. How much weight can you really put on?”

  “Easy for you to say, being in such good shape.” He looked at her then and his gaze dropped lower to the region of her chest. That didn’t make him happy because it appeared he gritted his teeth before saying, “Order it for yourself if you’d like.”

  “I wouldn’t eat it in front of you.”

  “Then I’ll leave. Maybe go out on the patio to count my breaths and fill up my soul with sunset. There are no calories in that. No harm, no foul.”

  That did it. Justine put her fork down. “Cal, what’s going on with you?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  Even though he looked her in the eye, she knew he was lying, that he was painfully aware of the situation. There was a subtle note in his voice. It had been there when he was on the phone with his mother and playing fast and loose with the truth. Part of her wondered when she’d gotten to know him so well, and the other part wished he was a complete stranger and easy to ignore. But the truth was, she liked him. A lot. Not this petulant, self-centered man as much, but she knew another side to him. One that was generous, kind and understanding. What had happened to send that man into hiding?

  “I am many things,” she said, “but a stupid fool isn’t one of them. You’ve disappeared into your man cave.”

  “On the contrary, I’m sitting right here. And I have always been visible.”

  “The cave thing was a metaphor and you know it. You’ve been different for the last couple of days.”

  “I disagree. Maybe you’re the one who’s different.”

  That was probably true, but not the way he meant it. She had changed since meeting him. For the first time since losing everything, she was ready—no, eager—to live again. The difference in her attitude was Cal.

  “No. I’m right about this,” she insisted. “You haven’t badgered me into keeping you company on the beach. Or tried to talk me into going to dinner. I have no illusions about another basket weaving class, but you didn’t look this peeved when I was sure you were going to fire me. Even that would be better than pacing around mumbling that vacation sucks.”

  “You heard that?”

  “Yes. The richness of life is about the effort you put into living it. If anyone knows that, it’s me.”

  “Next you’ll be preaching that when life gives you lemons make lemonade.” He tapped his lip. “Or the ever-popular ‘It’s always darkest before the dawn.’”

  “I was trying to avoid clichés.” She could tell he was fighting a smile. At least that was a somewhat positive reaction, but why did he feel the need to suppress his amusement? Could be because sharing humor was a form of intimacy and that’s what he was resisting. “What are you thinking?”

  “That answering your question crosses a boss/employee line.”

  “Kind of late to draw that distinction now, don’t you think?” They’d already shared a lot of personal details about their lives.

  He pushed his plate away, the food barely touched. “It’s a distinction that should have been drawn in the beginning. My bad.”

  “So you expect me to forget all that?” Disregard the way he looked at her with a hungry intensity that took her breath away?

  “Pretend it never happened.”

  That was impossible. “That would be like trying to put glitter back in a bottle.”

  “Try.” His voice had an edge and there was an expression in his eyes that hovered somewhere between anger and frustration. And warning.

  “This doesn’t make sense. Did I do something? You never had a problem before telling me if you were irritated by whatever I did. The second day I was here you were deeply annoyed because I refused to work overtime. Since when did you start holding back?”

  He opened his mouth to say something, then shook his head and stood. “I’m going to sit outside on the patio and silently count my breaths. If my soul gets a refill in the process, well, that’s okay, too. For sure it will be quiet.”

  “I think you just told me to mind my own business.”

  “However you interpret that is your call.” Almost as an afterthought he grabbed the crutches, only to keep weight off the injured leg for the prescribed length of time, she guessed. His balance was excellent and he probably didn’t need them now, so close to the cast coming off. He went to the French doors, then moved through the opening to sit beside the pool.

  Left alone, Justine was angry and hurt. She stood and started pacing. There were so many thoughts and feelings swirling inside her that she couldn’t sit still. And there was an aha moment while she was at it. When she was in such a dark place after the accident, well-meaning family and friends told her to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Live life to the fullest. She could be happy again and going through the motions would put her back on the road to normal.

  All she heard was blah, blah, blah. Platitudes she disregarded. How frustrating it must have been for the people who cared about her and were only trying to help. Right now, this moment, she knew how it felt to try to get through to someone who refused to listen. It was damned annoying and she made a mental note to apologize to friends and family for her behavior.

  And speaking of advice, she remembered giving the room service waiter relationship advice, telling him to be honest and open about his feelings. If Justine did less than that, she’d be a do-as-I-say, not-as-I-do kind of person. Your basic hypocrite.

  She stopped walking and looked out the French doors to the patio bathed in twilight. Perimeter lights showed Cal sitting with his back to her, broad shoulders tensed as he presumably counted his breaths. If she told him exactly what she was thinking he might just fire her for real. The second day of work, when she defied his order, she’d ignored his irritation and was still here, but if she was honest now and he went with the nuclear option, she might very well be packing her bags. Still, saying nothing would drain her soul to the point it might never be filled up again.

  Before she could change her mind, she marched outside and stopped beside his chair. “I have something very important to say to you.”

  “Damn it.”

  “What?” The knot in her stomach expanded painfully.

  “I lost count of my breaths.”

  Under different circumstances that would have made her laugh. “I have to say what’s on my mind or my head just might explode.”

  “Okay, then, but—”

  “No buts. There�
��s something going on between us. And don’t tell me it’s business because I know better. It’s personal and—”

  “Could it be you’re imagining things?” Might be wishful thinking, but that sounded like desperation in his voice. He was trying to dodge the issue.

  “Look, Cal, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m out of practice with this sort of thing.” She thought about that for a moment. “I guess, technically, I was never in practice since I got married pretty young, but...” She took a big breath and pushed on. Couldn’t stop now. “I think you’re attracted to me.”

  “And why do you think that?” The words were meant to mock, but there was a ragged edge that stripped away the sarcasm. It almost sounded as if he was running out of places to hide.

  “I haven’t forgotten how a man looks at a woman when he wants her. And I’m almost positive you’ve been looking at me that way.”

  “Justine, it would be best if you stop—”

  “No. This has to be said. I’ve seen you look at me that way, until you wouldn’t look at me at all. But you’re my boss, and a good one in spite of what the clerical staff thinks.” She was trying to cut the tension with humor, but judging by his strained expression, it wasn’t working. In for a penny, in for a pound, she thought. “I know you walk a fine line and might think it’s inappropriate to cross it. That would be the case if I didn’t want you to cross it, too.”

  “Justine, please—”

  She barreled on before the warning in the way he said her name could take hold. “But then I realized that you changed after I told you about what happened to my family. If you’re worried about offending me because of that, don’t be. It took a while, but I’ve realized something and you should know this.”

  “What’s that?” He was looking down, then met her gaze.

  “They’ll always be in my heart, but they’re gone and never coming back. No matter how much I wish I could change it. But I know they would want me to move forward and be happy.” She sighed. “If the situation was reversed, that’s what I would want.”