A most undignified noise escaped him and he jumped, coming down a few feet away. "Stop that!" That was most... odd.
The cat came back around and rose up, paws on his shoulders. Once again Feris rubbed against him, cheeks on his cheeks and then licked his scars.
Anneal was simply astonished, and somehow warmer than he had been since he'd shed his clothing. A deep flush rose on his chest and neck, rising to his face. "I do not understand you at all."
The cat rumbled, not quite a purr and walked to his customary sleeping place, pawing at the ground several times before settling. The cat looked at him, tongue lolling out, golden eyes unblinking.
Shaking his head, Anneal closed the unwanted feelings away in a box in his mind and started scrubbing the worst of the muck off his clothing, laying it out on the rocks near the fire to dry. Only when he was done did he realize he'd left himself no place to sit where he could be warm.
With a wary look and a sigh, he went over to Feris, silently asking if he could sit with him.
Feris shifted, moving to make a space for him along the cat's belly.
He curled into the incredible softness of the lush fur, thinking how strange his life had become. For his life to get more strange was something of an achievement.
Feris curled enough to rest the great head upon his leg, purrs vibrating his body.
Oh, that felt nice. Soothed him. He dozed, letting the big body beneath and around and on him keep him warm, one hip going numb on the rough stone.
The fire was down a good bit when he started awake, his own shout ringing in his ears.
Feris was growling, the big muscles tense against him.
His heart pounded so hard that his ribs hurt. A hand went out without his express permission, stroking Feris' ribs. "I... I am sorry if I startled."
Feris rumbled, licking his hand. He could almost read sympathy in the golden eyes, though surely it was his imagination.
Surely it was. Though he did wonder how much of the man the cat retained. Still, he was cold and clammy, and he would take whatever comfort he could find.
Feris wrapped closer around him, purring softly. Every now and then the great cat would lick his skin.
Strange and yet relaxing, and Anneal allowed himself to relax once more. Only dreams. Phantasms of another life. His reality was strange enough. Perhaps he should simply focus on that. Day by day, until the winter was over.
~Chapter Three~
Feris shifted into man to speak to An neal. He needed to see what An neal needed.
Four months they had spent together in his cave and still the winter continued.
He had begun to grudgingly accept the man's presence; himself was much more enthusiastic and the man's scent had grown into the cave, become a part of home.
"An neal. You need?"
"Hmmm." An neal looked up at him, sleepy and bleary.
"Food? Water? Warmth? You need?"
"No. M'fine." An neal did not look fine. Did not smell fine. Hardly moved, just slept.
He growled. "What need?"
"I do not know, Feris. I am sorry. I just do not feel well." An neal held out a hand to him, like he would to himself.
He took An neal's hand, growling, unhappy. Maybe it was not just himself who had grown used to this man in his cave.
An neal laughed. "I truly did not mean to become a burden to you. You should have let me leave."
"If you die in here, yes, I should have." He sat on his haunches, touching the concave belly. "What need?"
"Things we cannot get? Grains. Vegetables. Cheese." An neal's hand covered his. "I promise not to die on you. I will wait until I can wander off while you're not looking."
It was meant to be funny, he thought.
He growled. "Caught without what you need for winter. Stupid."
He sat and stroked An neal's head. "Sleep. I will find."
"Well, yes. Certainly I've never denied that. I was about to start putting things away for the season when the snows came."
"I will find," he repeated. Himself did not want An neal to die.
He did not want An neal to die.
He shifted.
Growling. Rubbing man's face.
Find greens.
Man patted his neck, smiling. "You're very good to me, Feris."
Purr. Rub.
Man good.
Man belong.
Find greens. Make man stay.
***
Anneal woke with the feeling of someone staring at him. Not unusual these last months, something he had, in fact, grown used to. This was a look at me stare. A wake up, you lazy slug look, and Anneal swam to the surface of consciousness, trying to at least do that much for Feris, who had done so much for him.
"Oh. Good. You came back."
Feris growled low and nudged something toward him. Bark of a willow tree, three wizened tubers and a handful of sweet grass, dry and brown.
"Oh." His throat tightened. They looked wonderful. "Oh, Feris, thank you."
He pulled himself to a sitting position, slowly and carefully, trying to avoid the ever-present nausea. Then he reached out and touched his gifts before petting Feris' back.
The big cat purred, rubbing against him for a moment before settling down, watching him.
His fire was all but burned out, nothing but embers. He rarely felt cold, so he'd been neglecting it. He fed it the dried tinder he'd managed the last time he'd left the cave and went to get some water. The grasses and tubers would make a good soup, and the bark would make tea to ease his aches.
It was slow going, and his hands shook, but finally the pot was on the fire and the tea was steeping. When he was sure he had everything set to cook without him watching, he crawled back to Feris and stretched out beside him. "Thank you."
The cat purred, Ferris rubbing their faces together.
Amazing, what one got used to. He'd learned that meant comfort, meant you're welcome. The cat was very possessive of him, he'd noticed. It was... rather nice.
His scars were each given a lick before Feris settled again, the low vibrating purrs threatening to send him back to sleep.
He could not sleep yet, though. He needed to eat his soup, drink his tea. He amused himself by playing with one big paw, pushing the pads, watching the claws go in and out.
Feris let him play and then growled, batting at his hand.
Chuckling, he rewarded Feris' patience with a good hard scratching, right at the start of that long back. He was so used to touching now, something he was unused to since he left home. Indeed, before that, as his family was most reserved, and only in his brief liaisons had he had any sort of lasting contact.
Feris' eyes closed, the purrs deepening, the long back arching.
It was something so small, but something he could do for Feris. And it made him smile. He knew not how long he worked, but he was sweating when he stopped, and breathing deeply, and his stew smelled lovely.
Feris gave him a look and licked the sweat from his cheeks and belly before looking at the fire and growling.
"Yes, of course. I need to eat, don't I?" He went back to the fire, moving the tea away to cool a bit, and lifted his soup off the fire. The scent was amazing.
He did not gulp it down as he wanted to, instead sipping only a tiny bit, waiting to see if would stay down.
Feris' rumbling purrs sounded approving.
His stomach rolled, but he did not lose what he had taken in, so he tried some of the tea, knowing it would help as well. So good. Astonishingly good. He smiled at Feris. "You continually surprise me."
Feris lifted his head and roared, settling back down and watching. Always watching.
The soup went down easier after the first bites, and he carefully covered the pot to set it in the snow just to one side of the cave entrance. It would keep until his next meal that way. The tuber he had not used and the willow bark he'd save were carefully wrapped and put in his pack. He would use them next time.
When the tea and soup he allowe
d himself was gone, his stomach heavy and the light-headedness fading, he sat, watching the fire.
He felt better than he had in weeks.
Feris moved until his back was warmed by the great cat. Low, contented purrs filled the cave.
He felt contented himself, hopeful, which was a long forgotten feeling. Spring would have to come to them soon. And then they would see what the world held for him.
~Chapter Four~
Snow. Melting. Dirt. Scent of green things.
Snow going. Winter going.
Nose twitched. Flower.
Take in mouth, careful. Find man. Give him. Show spring. Make happy.
Man smell good when happy.
Running, muscles stretching. Cave. Man inside.
Give flower.
Man look, eyes bright. "Feris! It's a bloom! Do you think... is it nearly spring?" Happy man smell.
Purr.
Good.
He shifted.
"Spring," he said. "See? Lots of green things soon."
"Oh. Oh good." An neal reached out, touched the flower. "So soft. Thank you, Feris."
He nodded. "Many green things will come soon. You will collect for next winter, yes?"
"Yes." An neal laughed. "Or perhaps I will just go back among people to live next winter. Where I do not have to worry about my stupidity being a burden to someone."
He wrinkled his nose. "You want to live with men?" He looked around his cave. Why would anyone choose men over this?
"I do not. Not really. But I promised I would leave you when the snows were gone, did I not? And I clearly have difficulty alone." An neal gave him a look, one he could not decipher.
He growled, fighting the words.
Himself made him shift.
Growl. Stay. Man stay.
He shifted back to man-form, growling the word. "Stay."
An neal stared. "You want me to stay? With you?"
He growled again. "Yes."
"But... why?" An neal looked so confused.
He shrugged, trying to express what himself wanted. "Your smell belongs here."
Himself was right, too. The cave smelled good, was right with him and An neal.
Something bright and fierce lit An neal's eyes for a moment, then faded. "I must go back to the city, Feris, by midsummer."
He growled, hurt. Turned his back on the man. "Do what you want."
Shifted.
Growling. Going. Away from stupid man.
"No! It is not like that, Feris. I... I want to stay with you." An neal following, slow, weak, but following. "It is only that I gave my word to spend one day there each year. I would be back by the autumn."
Growled. Man stay?
Stop and wait. Growl.
Man's hands touch, pet. "I do not wish to leave you, Feris. I... you have become. Important to me."
Man stay. Good. Rub man's legs. Purr.
Man push against him, rub ears. "But I must leave long enough to do what I have promised, do you understand that?"
He shifted. "You'll be back?"
"Yes. Yes." An neal meant it. No nervous lie smell came from him. Just sadness, and affection. "If you want me here, I will be here."
"You smell right here."
"I feel right here. Despite all the hard things, I feel at home here. Thanks to you." An neal smiled at him. "Though I will put away so much food this year that we can barely move in here."
He growled. "I will find you a close store."
That got him a true laugh, pure and right. "Thank you. You make me feel as though I belong here."
"You smell right here," he repeated. He had no other words to say it.
Warm fingers found his skin, An neal's hand resting against his chest. "Thank you."
An neal did not touch him often, only himself. He purred, liking the feeling as much as himself did.
The light touch stayed against his skin for a long moment before An neal turned away, going to take up the flower and put it in his cup, putting in snow to keep it fresh. Saving his gift.
He purred and crouched by the entrance, watching the snow dripping from the trees.
~Chapter Five~
The cave was empty. Empty and dark and musty, the only sign of previous habitation the dark stains of his own fires on the floor.
Anneal dropped his pack, looking about, shoulders slumping. Well, naturally it was empty. Feris was a territorial creature, but his territory surely ranged for a great distance, and with Anneal leaving him to traipse off to the city, Feris had no reason to stay.
That logic did not stop the ball of unhappy disappointment from forming in his belly. He had missed Feris more than he'd thought possible.
All of that traveling. All of that time among the trade caravans, and then the disastrous visit to the city. Anneal touched his fingers to his cheeks. He truly had hoped to see Feris immediately upon his return, to see if the comfort he gained from the cat-man's presence was all the result of faulty memory.
He would rest, just for tonight, and then he would start putting away for winter. It was late summer, harvest time, and Anneal had only just regained his full strength and physique. No sense in losing it to the winter once more.
Perhaps when the leaves began to change, Feris would return. He spent the day cleaning out the cave, ate a spare meal, and when darkness fell, he curled into the groove in the floor that Feris had worn over the long winter last, and slept, dreaming of glowing golden eyes.
He woke to growls and a rough tongue licking at him, big paws trying to pull his clothes off.
"Feris?" His own voice sounded rough, unused. Since he had left the caravan some two weeks before he had spoken to no one but himself. "What? What are you doing?"
The big cat rubbed their faces together, still trying to get rid of his clothing, still growling unhappily.
Oh. Oh, he remembered how Feris had rubbed against him whenever he'd bathed. He imagined he smelled wrong. Which was when it hit him that it was indeed Feris before him and not a dream. He threw his arms around the big cat's neck.
"Feris!"
Feris purred and then growled again, clearly still disturbed by his scent.
He took off his light tunic, hesitating over his leggings, but soon took those off too. If it made Feris more comfortable, what did it hurt?
Feris' growls grew less angry and the big cat began to wash him, licking him everywhere with the long, rough tongue and rubbing the soft cheeks against his skin.
It tickled, and scraped and the contrast of the soft, furry cheeks was somehow titillating. He fought the response, as it was probably terribly inappropriate. When Feris' tongue slid over his prick, there was little he could do to stop his body from reacting.
Jumping, he pushed Feris away, turning to hide his suddenly hardening shaft. It had simply been too long. That had to be it.
Feris seemed unconcerned, working on his exposed backside, licking and rubbing along his spine and his legs and his buttocks. The last lick of the long tongue slid along his crease, making him jump and his shaft twitch hard. Then Feris lay down next to him, pressed close and purring loudly.
There. Obviously he was overreacting, as Feris was completely uncaring of his state, simply happy to see him. As happy as he was to see Feris. He fought his body, finally conquering by thinking of his father's disapproving face, and turned to snuggle up against the big, furry body next to him. "I thought you had left."
Feris looked at him and growled and then licked his cheeks, settling again with their faces close.
Feeling at home for the first time since he'd left, he scratched Feris behind the ears, nodding. "I know. I am the one who left you. I missed you every day, though."
Feris licked his nose and then those golden eyes half closed and the purrs started, Feris pressing into his scratches.
The soft sounds and warmth soothed him, let him shed the last months like a healed scab. How this strange creature had worked his way into Anneal's heart was still a mystery, but he knew it was true.
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And he knew that somehow, he had become important to the cat-man as well.
Anneal actually looked forward to the coming of winter this year, to spending more time in the intriguing company of his cat. And between now and then they had the autumn, where he would perhaps get to know Feris even better by simple observation. Once again, Feris gave him a feeling that so often abandoned him when he went among men. He gave Anneal hope.
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