Shifting

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  ***

  They worked well together, himself and An neal. Well, he and An neal did, too, but it was more strange that a man would work so well with himself. Most men were scared of himself. It was the big teeth. And the claws.

  Himself had found a small cave close to their own for An neal to fill with greens and roots and berries. Himself found the best roots, too, the ones that made An neal exclaim happily and say they would last, staying tasty until spring.

  Then he would become man again and help An neal pick and carry.

  The only thing himself didn't like was the stack of firewood in the back of the cave. It made himself growl. He knew though why An neal did it. He understood winter on skin -- it was why he was himself for most of the winter.

  What surprised him was himself wanting the man to stay, to be in the cave all winter again. Well... if he were honest -- it had surprised him at the start but it was nice, having someone else to sit with, to sleep with. The winter passed nicely with another to share.

  He was not used to having another. Men did not like himself and other cats... well they did not like the man.

  An neal though... he was different.

  An neal liked himself. A lot. An neal gave himself back rubs and ear scritches and belly rubs. An neal made himself purr. It made him like the man and, slowly, he was coming to trust the man.

  He picked another root. He did not understand this eating of roots though.

  "Wonderful." An neal smiled at him like he was very smart. "I would never be able to find so much on my own."

  He made a face. "You really like these?"

  "Well, they're not bad. And certainly better for me than just meat. Besides, I can make a sort of cake out of them."

  "Cake!" He liked cake.

  And lemon candy.

  He sniffed the tuber suspiciously. "This does not smell like cake."

  A soft laugh came from An neal. "No. Of course not. Much has to be added to it to make it cake. Perhaps I will make one for you tonight, since you have been so good at finding them."

  "I can find more."

  If there was cake at the end of it, he could find many more.

  Shifting to himself he sniffed.

  Nose on ground. Sniff. Sniff.

  Funny roots smell.

  There!

  He shifted back to man and began to dig. "Many more here, An neal."

  "Oh, good." An neal began to dig carefully, so as not to break the roots. "Tell me, Feris. How did you come to be here? Where do you come from?"

  He growled a little. Where he came from? "I was in the cities. In a cage. Lots of people. It was not good."

  "Oh." There was silence for a moment, An neal not looking at him. "I am sorry, Feris. I did not mean to remind you."

  He shrugged. "It was a bad time. But I left. Maybe I killed men." He looked at An neal. "I killed men and came here."

  There. Would An neal still like himself now?

  "If they put you in a cage maybe they needed killing." An neal looked at him, and those grey eyes were hot and fierce. "No one should cage anyone as magnificent as you, Feris."

  He purred, more pleased than he could give voice to. He reached out, petting An neal's arm. He could understand why himself liked this man. He liked this man.

  An neal looked startled, then pleased. Him the man rarely touched An neal willingly, but perhaps he should if it made An neal so happy.

  "There. I think I have enough for today. My back hurts and I need to get these roots cooking if we're to have cake."

  "An neal hurts?" He frowned. He did not like that.

  "Only a bit stiff, Feris. I am not as strong as you are." Another smile was his as An neal rose, stretching.

  He tilted his head. "Maybe your clothes are too tight."

  He did not understand An neal's love of clothes. Fur was best and skin was quite good, too.

  "Oh, I doubt that. Though they are not as loose as they were last year." It was true. An neal was much better to look at than he had been at the end of winter.

  "Fattening up for winter is good." He took An neal's pack and put it on his back. It was heavy, full of the roots. An neal's basket was lighter, full of grasses and leave petals and mushrooms that An neal said you could eat.

  An neal led the way to the cave, more sure footed now than he had been last winter as well. Good. This winter would be easier.

  Now that he had accepted that An neal would be share his home, it was good to know that the man would not be poorly again.

  And he would go collect more of the roots after An neal went to sleep.

  In case the man wanted to make lots of cake.

  ***

  The cake came out better than Anneal expected. He still had a good deal of honey, Feris having shown him where to get it, and he still had milled flour from his trip back to the land of men. Mixed with the cooked tubers and some chopped nuts, it all made a dense, rich cake that he cooked over the fire. He managed to melt some of the lemon candies in more honey to drizzle on the top.

  It was wonderful, if he did say so himself.

  Not that he had to use his own reaction as a guide. He had Feris'.

  Feris ate the cake as if he'd not eaten in days, which he very well knew was not true.

  He smiled, watching Feris lick crumbs from his lips. The man-cat truly loved sweets, and it was gratifying to be able to do something for Feris as Feris so often did for him.

  Feris looked over at him longingly. "Is there more?"

  "Yes. You greedy thing." He shook his head, handing over the second small cake he'd set aside just for that reason, just to make Feris smile.

  And smile Feris did, looking at him as if he were a god. Feris took the cake and was about to take about half of it into his mouth when he stopped. "Would you like some?"

  Oh. Perhaps Feris really had accepted his presence there. "No." He patted his belly ruefully. "I am quite full. You have it."

  Feris beamed at him and the cake was quickly devoured. "It is good, An neal."

  "There. You see? I told you roots could make cake." He quickly scoured their few bowls and pots, then caught a whiff of himself. Oh. Terrible. The edge of the air now it was late evening made it impossible to go to the creek, but he could heat some water and air his clothes out.

  Anneal stripped off his tunic, spreading it on a rock just outside the cave entrance, sprinkling it with a few pine needles, then put on water to boil.

  Feris frowned at him. "You groom all wrong."

  "Oh? How am I supposed to do it?" He could not but laugh. Feris thought many of his ways strange.

  Feris shifted in front of him, the smooth skin of the man replaced by the golden fur of the cat. Feris began to groom, licking his paws and using them to clean his face.

  He laughed. "Well, maybe that works for you, Feris, but my tongue isn't big enough." With a wink, he took the hot water and a soft cloth and moved away from the breezy entrance of the cave.

  Feris growled softly and continued to groom, watching him closely.

  He scrubbed his chest and belly, and what he could reach of his back, using the soap he'd gotten from a toothless old woman at the last trading post he'd seen. It had no scent, and thus would not offend Feris' sensitive nose.

  The entire time he washed Feris continued to watch him, eyes following the movements of his hands.

  Somehow, lately, it was very difficult not to be uncomfortable under that unblinking stare. Once he might have worried that Feris was deciding whether or not to eat him. Had, in fact, worried over that when they first met. Now there was a different kind of tension to it, one he hesitated to name.

  Turning his back, Anneal stripped off his leggings and washed the lower half of his body.

  Feris' purring began soon after that. He loved that sound, though he would not admit it. It resonated in him. It was comfort. The purrs continued even as he was done, moving to sit with Feris as he would in the evenings.

  Feris raised his head and scented him, then licked hi
s arm and his thigh before settling down again, content.

  He settled as well, leaning against the big cat's side. Feris was always so warm. How odd, that he should find contentment in this place. Yet he had, far away from the people who had sent him away for the crime of finding pleasure in an otherwise bleak life.

  Anneal touched his tattoos. They meant nothing to Feris, took nothing away from the unexpected acceptance he'd found. And Feris even liked his cake.

  ~Chapter Six~

  Anneal woke to a warm body mostly on top of him, rough purrs vibrating through his body. A smile stretched his face. Feris. He pushed and pulled and prodded until the lax, sleeping cat was off him, then headed to the cave entrance to do his business.

  He came up short at the edge of the cave. Oh! He would need his boots. Snow. The ground was covered in a thick, sweet blanket of snow. It was lovely. How strange that what seemed so threatening last season was so intriguing now.

  He quietly got his boots and tiptoed out, but on the way back, some evil impulse made him grab a handful of the wet stuff on the way back in. He stopped directly in front of Feris, and with a smile that he could feel tickle his ears, he planted the snow right on that whiskered snout.

  Feris leapt up at once, knocking him onto his back on the ground and straddling him with a low roar.

  Wheezing, breath gone, Anneal patted Feris cheeks. "Me. Feris, 'Tis me."

  Feris scented him quickly, rubbing their cheeks together and then circled the cave, growling warningly.

  The cat finally settled at the mouth of the cave and shifted into the man.

  "Where is he?" demanded Feris.

  "He who?" Carefully, Anneal sat up, rubbing his back.

  "The attacker." Feris gave him one of those looks that said men were stupid.

  "Oh." He stood, edging toward the mouth of the cave, trying to get past Feris. He would need room to run. Anneal made a great show of peering out, looking left and right, and Feris let him pass. Then he grinned. "That was me."

  "You!" Feris roared, the sound not as impressive as when he was the cat, but it still made him run as fast as he could.

  Despite his advantage over Feris, having boots and clothes, his companion was far quicker and he found himself tackled to the ground, the snow breaking his fall.

  "Cold!" He squealed like a child, laughing and thrashing. "Oh, that's cold."

  Feris kept him down, pushing snow into his shirt.

  "Feris!" He grabbed a double handful of snow, pushing it against Feris' bare bottom. Feris yelped and shifted, growling at him playfully, batting snow in his face with one of those huge paws. He pushed back, knowing he would barely budge the big cat, but spraying snow everywhere.

  Feris fell heavily on him, tongue lolling out, purrs and mock growls vibrating against him. He was panting as well, and his back and buttocks were freezing. The laughter made it all worthwhile. "I think you have had your revenge, Feris. I am getting quite frozen."

  Feris chuffed at him for a moment and then the big cat licked him, first one cheek and then the other.

  He had no idea why his scarred cheeks fascinated Feris so, but it made him smile. Made other feelings rise in his as well, but those were best ignored. "Let me up, Feris."

  Feris licked his cheeks again and growled, paw sitting heavily on his shoulder.

  "Please. I... it's cold." He squirmed, trying to hide from those glowing eyes.

  Feris put his head back and roared, then got up on all fours and moved away, toward the creek.

  He had the distinct feeling he had hurt Feris' feelings. Sighing, he got up, brushing the snow off his ass, noting that his fingers were faintly blue. Apologizing to Feris would have to wait until he got warm. The big cat would come back soon. He went back to the cave, building up the fire just enough to warm him, but not the whole cave. It would not hurt to try to accommodate Feris some.

  It was some time before Feris returned, slinking quietly into the cave and sitting as far from the fire as possible. The golden eyes did not watch him like they usually did. Oh. There could be no doubt that Feris was hurt. Not angry, he knew the lines of that lean body when Feris was mad. This was hurt.

  He hit upon an idea, rummaging in his pack a moment before taking a spare tunic over to where Feris lay and spreading it on the floor. "May I join you?

  Feris didn't look at him, nor did the cat give voice to any sounds, but one big paw slid over the edge of his tunic, holding it in place on the floor.

  Nodding, Anneal sat, placing a lemon candy next to Feris paws. "For later. I had forgotten..." Anneal paused, searching his store of words. "I got this for you while I was in the city of my home. 'Twas the one good thing about the trip. I'd forgotten it until now."

  The brush he held out for Feris to sniff was short bristled and soft, handle wrapped in thin hide.

  Feris growled softly, nose twitching. The brush was sniffed thoroughly and then the golden eyes settled on him again, another soft growl sounding, this one curious, inquiring.

  The big paw casually covered the candy, pulled it toward Feris.

  "May I?" Certainly Feris would voice his displeasure if the brush felt bad against him. Anneal smiled and pretended not to notice the candy disappearing under that huge appendage. He started at the neck, sweeping the brush down Feris' back.

  Feris' body rippled. The purring began with the second stroke.

  Oh, good. Feris liked it. So did he, truth be told, having Feris' strong body under his hands, short, heavy fur tickling his hands, tail curling about them. The purrs got louder, Feris' eyes three quarter's closed, his mouth open, tongue protruding slightly. The expression was one of pure bliss.

  It made him happy, deep inside. He had thought of Feris often while he was away, had spent precious time while in the city searching for just this brush. He stroked it down, to the strong base of Feris' tail, over the round of one back leg. The purrs changed in tenor, grew even deeper as another ripple traveled the length of Feris' spine.

  Hypnotic, the motion of the brush mixed with the sound of those purrs. He could do it for hours on end. If his arm did not give out first. 'Twas wonderful. Every now and then Feris would twist back, head rubbing against his thigh.

  Finally his arm muscles gave out, he rested his hand on Feris' neck, scratching lightly. "Better?"

  Feris' purrs got a little bit louder and that head came back again to rub against him. The golden eyes looked up at him. It seemed that all was forgiven.

  Which pleased him greatly. It was not Feris' fault that he had feelings of an utterly inappropriate nature, and that he was uncertain how to deal with them.

  "Snow, Feris. Winter is here again. Thank you for sharing your home with me yet again."

  Feris leaned up and licked both his cheeks.

  He stroked Feris' face, not hiding this time. There would be precious little hiding now the snow was here. Still, the winter filled him not with dread, as it had the previous year. But with hope, something only Feris could have brought back to his life.

  ~Chapter Seven~

  He had started spending more time as a man. Just a few hours every day to sit with An neal.

  He would even eat a little bit of An neal's man food. Well, and cake. An neal made very good cake.

  An neal was good to himself, liked lounging with himself, but also seemed to enjoy having his company.

  Today his belly was full of cake and he was quite happy to stay and be company for An neal.

  He was also curious.

  "An neal."

  "Hmmm?" An neal looked up from the needles from a nearby tree that the man wove into a basket.

  "Why are you banished?" He was not a subtle man.

  The clear grey eyes went dark like storm clouds. "I told you, I did something wrong." One hand came up to touch the red and black marks on An neal's cheeks, as the man always did when he talked of it.

  He looked straight into the grey eyes. "What?"

  A harsh sigh sounded, and An neal stared at him for a long while,
saying nothing. Then An neal shrugged.

  "There are laws among the people of my city. Certainly they govern things like property and behavior, but they also govern... morality, I suppose."

  He looked at An neal with confusion. That wasn't an answer.

  Attention back on his basket, An neal continued very quietly. "There are laws, Feris. Laws about who a man may lie with. It is not so important if your family is not well off, and therefore not closely watched. But it is important if your father is a high member of the city government."

 

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