My Soul to Win

by Robin Roseau

I looked away. “Fuck,” I finally whispered.

  “I’ll let you have Quentaslart,” Theophania offered.

  “Because you think you can get to Evaline faster than I can?”

  “It was my own fault,” she said. She offered a laugh. “I felt no sympathy for your situation and considered it your own fault for not protecting yourself better. But I never asked for the fine print in all of your agreements. Freed upon death. Did you remember?”

  “Yes, but I didn’t realize it would save me.” I turned back to her.

  “You were right: I got good value for you. If I had known you would be freed at death, I wouldn't have loaned you out. But if I hadn’t, you wouldn’t have spent a year with Nifili. Would you have given that up?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “I’m not here to offer a repeat.”

  “Still, it was quite an experience.”

  “It was,” I agreed.

  “Being mine wasn’t all bad.”

  “No, Theophania. Much of it was quite good.”

  She nodded. “Thank you for admitting that. So. You want Quentaslart, and then you want to be free of me. Equally importantly, you wish me to declare I have no further business with Evaline.”

  “Yes.”

  “What will you do with the demon who killed you? Are you going to offer her forgiveness?”

  “I’m going to ask a few pointed questions and then release her.”

  “You won’t be able to compel answers.”

  “I think she’ll answer, but as long as you do nothing to prevent that, I would be satisfied with you.” She inclined her head. “What do you want for her?”

  “I’ve already said. Earth vacations for a start. I’ll agree to spread them out, but they include the girl.”

  I expected Marley to protest, but she didn’t, surprising me.

  “And?”

  “Visitors, as also discussed. And people who take my calls.”

  “You can’t call day or night. Text first.”

  She laughed. “How do you expect me to do that? But it takes almost nothing to put me off and tell me to call back tomorrow.”

  “You could surprise someone who is driving.”

  “No,” she said. “It is little more than a ‘hello, can you talk?’” She paused. “Teigan, you lost your negotiating position and are going to give me what I want in the end. Or we can fight.”

  “Mom?” Sue Ellen asked.

  We turned to watch. Marley slipped from her lounger and half crawled to Sue Ellen. She took her daughter’s hands, looking up at her.

  “Mom,” Sue Ellen said, “We have to help Evaline.”

  “I know,” Marley said. “I won’t stand in the way.”

  Sue Ellen lifted her gaze. “Call me.”

  Theophania turned back to me and raised an eyebrow. I paused then nodded. Theophania cocked her head, and then Sue Ellen said, “Oh. Oh, that’s kind of cool. You promise it isn’t more startling than that?” Pause. “All right. Are you going to whisper at me at night when I’m sleeping or something?”

  And then this time Theophania answered aloud, “No, Sue Ellen. I will do nothing to bring any grief to you. I will not begin a whisper campaign of any sort.”

  “You may call me,” Sue Ellen offered. “Now I want to know what it’s like if I give you a ride. Be welcome under the terms you agreed earlier.”

  Theophania ghosted like she had before, and then, like Marley had, Sue Ellen stiffened for a moment, and Theophania turned to stone, or appeared to.

  Sue Ellen stood, releasing Marley’s hands. Then she laughed. “That would be cheating! No, you can’t help me during exams. Now you drive.” Sue Ellen froze, then shifted, and this time I could see a shift in body language. I could tell it was Theophania, and not Sue Ellen.

  “Oh, this is nice,” she said. She stroked her body for a moment then looked around, her gaze settling on Marley. “I would never hurt her. I promise.”

  Marley nodded, but I could see it was hard for her. It was hard for me.

  She turned to me. “I will give you Quentaslart. When you have recovered Evaline, you may return with her, and if she feels I have left any loopholes to exploit, we will come to an agreement or vacate any lingering agreements between us.”

  “Only agreements to call or vacation,” I said. “Not for continued peace and no further ill intent.”

  “Agreed,” she said. “I don’t know how to offer more assurances, Teigan. I am not trying to cheat anyone.”

  “You were earlier.”

  “I was looking for advantage, and I was reminding you that you are poor at negotiating with a demon. And your lawyer is entirely untrained in these matters.”

  “I’m sorry,” Kate said.

  “It’s fine. My fault.”

  “There is no fault when there are two parties in the negotiation, and both parties get something they want, Teigan,” Theophania said from Sue Ellen’s body. She sat back down, getting comfortable, and then Sue Ellen slumped. Theophania gave herself a little shake. “Well? Do we have a tentative agreement?”

  “Tentative,” Kate said. “Sue Ellen?”

  “Yes.”

  “I want all of you to take my calls. Oh, not the guys. They don’t interest me.”

  “Sorry, guys,” I said.

  “I think I don’t mind being left out,” Jake said, earning ragged laughter.

  “I’ll accept the phone calls,” Naomi said. “And I’ll let you vacation, but you’re not driving. How often?”

  “One week a year, and if there are associated expenses, I’ll pay them,” Theophania offered.

  “How?” Kate asked.

  “You will need to let me send gold, Katherine,” Theophania said. “I assume you can convert that into legal funds.”

  “I can,” Kate said.

  “Fine,” Naomi said.

  “Agreed,” Hyacinth said.

  “Agreed,” said Marley.

  “Agreed,” said Kate. “Let’s see the written version.”

  Theophania held out her hands. A scroll appeared. She read through it, taking a few minutes, and then she stood. A desk appeared in front of her. She set down the scroll and picked up the fountain pen. She dipped it into the ink and signed the scroll with a flourish. “It is not binding until everyone who is party also signs.” Then she blew on the ink.

  Kate rose and crossed the room. She read the scroll. And then she read it again. And a third time. Theophania watched carefully with an amused expression. Finally Kate turned to her. “What are you doing?”

  “Do you have a problem with this, Katherine?”

  “No, but I think you left a few things out.”

  “We’ll consider those a ladies’ agreement,” she said. “Entirely non-binding.”

  “What did she leave out?” I stood and walked around the table.

  “The phone calls are in,” Kate replied. “The ‘vacations’ and visits are not, although she kept all the guarantees.”

  I read the scroll. Kate was right I turned to Theophania. “Why?”

  “Because I can afford to,” she said. “Because I have never taken such a ride with anyone who didn’t want me.”

  “You negotiated pretty hard for that.”

  “And I guess we’ll see whether each of them honors her verbal agreement with me.”

  “We agreed verbal agreements were non-binding.”

  “So we did,” she said. “And if that is what they decide, there’s nothing I can do about it.”

  “Why, Theophania.”

  “Good faith, Teigan. That’s all.”

  I wasn’t sure if I believed her. But I turned to the table, took the fountain pen, and signed it. Kate took the pen and held it to Naomi. One after another, each woman in the room signed the scroll. Theophania blew across the names, drying them carefully. Then she handed the scroll to each of us, one at a time, somehow one scroll turning into seven copies.

  “Cute trick,” Kate said.

  “Demonic copy machine,” Theophan
ia replied. “Teigan, you owe me a conversation. Perhaps you should send your army home now.”

  “Agreed,” I said. “Let’s do it from the battlements.”

  “Of course.” She turned and said, “This way.”

  We followed the demon through her castle, climbing several flights of stairs before we stepped outside. Once there, I said, “I don’t know if I can free any of the souls myself.”

  “You’ll be fine,” Theophania said. “They’re tired, Teigan, and scared, and I think this is not a healthy place for them.”

  “You’re right about that. Everyone cluster together.”

  Theophania stepped back. The others crowded around me. I got all of us touching, and then I pulled out my badge. My wings spread, and I wrapped around my friends as best I could. “Pastor Grace Ware! Angel Elisabeth Marsh!”

  “We’re here, Teigan!” Grace called out. “Is everyone all right?”

  “Yes,” I said. “Grace, I’m sending them to you. I’ll be another few hours. Is the pentagram intact?”

  “Yes. Send them through. We’ll have hot food for them in a jiffy, and warm beds after that.”

  “Thank you, Grace.”

  “I should stay,” Kate said.

  “You should go,” I said. “I’ll be fine. She can’t hold me here.”

  “If you’re sure.”

  “I’m sure. I’ll be home in a few hours. Make sure things are ready.”

  “I will,” she said.

  “All right. Here they come, Grace.”

  I don’t really know what I did, not exactly, but I gave them a push, and over the course of several seconds, they faded, and then in a whoosh of collapsing air, they disappeared, and I felt my link with Grace and Beth break, but not before I heard Grace said, “We’ve got them, Teigan!”

  Quentaslart

  I slumped but then I put away the badge, folded my wings, and turned to Theophania. “I don’t understand you.”

  “I know,” she said. “Come.” She gestured with a tail. I stepped beside her, and she wrapped around me. I didn’t fight her.

  It was comforting.

  She led me back to the library. “Something to eat?”

  “No, I don’t think so. Why did you feed me that way, Theophania?”

  “Because it pleased me, Teigan, and once you surrendered to it, it pleased you, as well.”

  “It was demeaning.”

  “You were my pet,” she said, as if that was an explanation. “Long before you left, you seemed to enjoy your meals.”

  I looked away. “That may be true.”

  “Of course it’s true. Sit.”

  We took seats, facing each other. “I already know how you left. But you made another offer. I’d like to hear the rest of it.”

  I took out the badge case, although I didn’t open it. I turned it over and over a few times, and then I looked up at her. “Is this why you’re letting us off easily?”

  “I don’t really know. It’s quite undemonic of me. I should have dragged this out for weeks. I could have gotten so much more, once I knew how desperate you are.”

  “I’m not desperate.”

  “Oh, please. You’re on a mission, Teigan. You have no intention of failing, and this is much bigger than just you.”

  “I think when you’ve said you don’t want the attention you’re serious.”

  “I am,” she agreed. “He can destroy any of us with a thought.”

  “She. Well, when she appeared to me.”

  “Right. Well.” She gestured. “Were you just teasing?”

  “You’d have to set aside everything, Theophania. You’d have to free the souls you have, for starters.”

  “That’s not necessarily a favor.”

  “Trade the evil ones, the ones you could probably convince me belong here, and then find help sending the rest to Heaven.”

  “And then what?”

  “State an intention to atone for millennia of evil.”

  “I didn’t make this system, Teigan.”

  “I’m not the one who is going to forgive you, Theophania. I can’t even promise this will work. You’d have to take a chance. She may take one look and toss you back here.”

  Theophania nodded. “Got more to say?”

  “Not really. I’m not exactly an expert. Five years?”

  “Yes. How long did you think it had been?”

  “I wasn’t sure. A year or two. I knew I was lost for a while. And then I had to recover a while. Then I’ve been on Earth for a few months.”

  “I knew when you died. I expected your soul to come to me, but it was as if it wasn’t anywhere. I didn’t know what could have happened. I thought maybe your soul itself had expired, and I grieved for that.”

  I believed her. “I’m sorry if that disturbed you.”

  “It did. I never wanted anything like that for you, Teigan.” She paused. “I’m an evil bitch. I know that. I don’t know if I can do what you’re suggesting.”

  “I don’t know that I can advise you. You seem to be pretty happy here.”

  “I’m not a fallen angel,” she said. “I’m born of them. I didn’t make decisions to come here.” She gave a ragged laugh. “You didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know, but it means something different coming from you.”

  “Maybe someday you’ll try it.”

  “Maybe I will,” she agreed. “I don’t know if I’m that brave.”

  “I can’t promise more, Theophania.”

  “I know you can’t,” she said. “You know, it would take weeks to review the status of every soul I hold.”

  “I want the first one you took. Well, I assume she was first.”

  “The girl from Bavaria.”

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t have her, Teigan. I was nothing then.”

  I looked down. “I understand.”

  “I’ll trade for her, if I can. She’s not worth anything by now. Souls that old linger, but they offer very little. I may not be able to find her, but I’ll try. I’ll call you if ever I find her.”

  “Thank you, Theophania.”

  “Teigan, I may not take your advice.”

  “I know.”

  “And if I don’t, I’m not done offering justice.”

  “I didn’t think you were.”

  “If I had a way to free some of these souls, I would. But I don’t.”

  “I’m not going to make it easier for you to claim souls, Theophania,” I said. “Telling them you’ll let them go in a few years would be quite a negotiating tactic.”

  “I suppose you’re right,” she agreed. “Think you’re up to another flight?”

  “I have no idea.”

  She laughed. “Let’s go see.”

  “All right.”

  She led me through her castle again, back to the battlements. “How brave are you, Teigan?” Then she spread her wings and leapt from the wall. She plummeted for a moment, and then she began beating, climbing into the sky. Laughing, she flew over me once, the wind of her wings ruffling my hair.

  “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” I followed her.

  * * * *

  She led me through her land. She was able to fly faster than I was, and was far, far more graceful. My first landing was quite unimpressive, although I grew marginally better.

  But we landed near one of the pits, and then she led me to it. “There is one here,” she said. And then she called to the souls. Several rose, escaping the pit. She collected them, glanced, and then released them until finally she handed one to me. The others hovered about, but they didn’t actually bother either of us.

  “Why aren’t they more interested in us?”

  “I put up a little bubble,” she said. “Agree to be mine for a year, and I’ll teach you.”

  “No, thank you,” I said. “And that wasn’t a real offer.”

  “It may have been the start of new negotiations,” she said. “Teigan, if you come in peace you’re welcome. Agree to be mine, and I’ll
teach you anything you desire.”

  “No, thank you.”

  “You don’t belong to Evaline anymore, you know.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you intend to give yourself back to her?”

  “Right now, I’m focused on finding her. After that, we’ll see what happens.”

  “Well, remember my offer.”

  “I don’t think I can forget.” I looked at the soul and nearly wept. “Why do you have this one?”

  “She belonged to the demon at the bottom of the pit.”

  “She was a child!”

  “Don’t blame me!” Theophania said. “Teigan, I don’t know how to free them. It’s not my forgiveness they require!”

  “If you get any more like this…”

  “I’ll call you. But this isn’t my fault.”

  “Fine,” I said. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

  “I understand,” she said. “What are you going to do with it?”

  I stepped away from the pit and then held up a hand. I didn’t want the demon too close to me while I did this. I opened my wings and pulled out the badge. Then I turned to the soul. “Little one,” I said gently. “You do not belong here. The Holy Mother is waiting for you to join her. My friends will help you go to her. You require no forgiveness, just help finding the right path.” Then I opened the badge. It took a little coaxing, but then I heard Sue Ellen’s voice, “There’s one!”

  “Grace, she was just a child.”

  “We’ll send her on her way,” Beth said. “We’ve got this, Teigan.”

  And then the link closed. I stared at the badge before putting it away. When I looked up, Theophania was watching me. “Interesting.”

  “Are there more in this pit?”

  “I will let you have the truly innocent ones, Teigan. I imagine we could argue over some of the borderline cases, but do you want to spend weeks? Is that your mission here, Teigan?”

  I sighed. “I would trade for more, in time.”

  “Then we’ll discuss it, in time,” she said.

  “Why would you let any souls go at all?”

  “Decide for yourself. The next pit is not far.” She spread her wings. I managed to follow her.

  * * * *

  In all, we released an even dozen souls. By the end, I was exhausted, and I’m sure it showed. Theophania put her hands on my shoulders. “What do you want to do? Are you strong enough for this, or do you want to come back?”