Loving Lies

by Lora Leigh

  “Damn, woman, what the hell are you talking about?” He looked at her in surprise. “Is that why you’re as nervous as a damned cat in a yard full of barking dogs? Baby girl, trust me.” He lowered his head, pressing his forehead to hers as he stared into her eyes. “You could never embarrass me. Make me jealous as hell. Tie my guts into knots, but never, ever embarrass me.”

  His lips settled over hers, a kiss, not so much of lust, but of feeling. He moved them against hers slowly, his tongue peeking out to lick at the curves, to press into her mouth as a heartfelt moan left her lips. He wasn’t taking her—he was loving her. Surely to God he was loving her. If he loved her, she could do whatever it took to fit into the world he knew. No matter what it took.

  His lips whispered against hers, nibbling, licking, a slow, teasing benediction that had her breath catching in her throat. Slade raised his head and stared down at her once again, his smile gentle.

  “Let’s get dinner, before I snack on you again,” he finally sighed. “Damn, you can make me harder faster than anything I’ve ever known. And there’s no way you can take me again today.”

  She would try, if he pressed. But waiting wasn’t so bad. She had waited since she was sixteen years old, she could wait a little longer.

  Chapter Five

  The weekend ended too soon. Jessie sat beside Slade as he pulled the RV into the parking lot at the main camp Sunday evening, dressed in another of his shirts and a pair of his sweatpants that hung on her frame despite the tie at the waist. It was that or go naked. She liked the feel of his clothes against her, his scent infusing them, reminding her of why her body was so tender and the cause of the exhaustion tugging at her.

  Jazz Lancing and Zachary Richards were pulling in beside them. Slade’s closest friends and his partners in the business they owned. They had gone through school and college with Slade. They were tall and tough, just as Slade was, and they were good men. Jessie had known them most of her life and she trusted them.

  “Jazz and Zack.” Slade’s voice was filled with humor and a lazy satisfaction that filled her with pride. “I took you away and didn’t let them know.”

  Jessie smothered her laughter. She should have told one of them where she was heading when things started getting ugly with Billy, but there hadn’t been time. The regulars to the parties were very protective of the women there, though with both her and Slade missing, they should have been able to put two and two together fairly easy.

  She leaned against his chest as he locked the door to the RV and held her close. The RVs parked on each side of Slade’s and the motors were cut.

  “Zack needs to find a woman.” She grinned. “He worries too much about the rest of us. It would give him something else to do.”

  Slade chuckled, his cheek brushing against her hair as he bent to smooth his lips down her neck. She loved how often he touched her, always wanting her next to him, his fingers playing with her hair, his lips never far away. He didn’t crowd her and many times had wanted nothing more than to just hold her. It sent a warmth flowing through her and filled all the empty places inside she had never known could exist.

  “Did you drive in or do you need a ride?” His hand splayed over her stomach, his fingers rubbing against it lazily as he watched Jazz move from the driver’s seat of the RV.

  “A ride.” She had ridden in with friends. “I could call someone.” She didn’t want to presume, didn’t want to put him in a position that he had to offer more than he was willing to give right now.

  “I have the bike. I’ll take you home then run back to my place and shower and change. We could go out and eat.”

  “Or I could fix something?” She glanced back at him. “I’m a decent cook.”

  A slow smile curved his lips. “Even better. Then I could have you for dessert.”

  Heat exploded through her body, tightening her breasts further, sending her juices flowing from her pussy. God, she was so pathetic. All it took was a smile to send her into meltdown.

  “Sounds perfect to me.” It sounded more than perfect. Another night to hold him close. She could deal with that. Easily.

  “Ready to roll?” He flashed her a wicked smile as Jazz and Zack were opening their doors and coming from the RVs.

  “Whenever you are.” She glanced back at Jazz, his arms crossed over his dark chest, a fierce frown contorting his handsome face. He didn’t look pleased.

  “Hey, Jazz.” Slade paused, his arm dropping from her, his body tensing as the other man grunted, his dark blue eyes going over Jessie first then Slade.

  “Hey, Slade,” he finally drawled. “I think tomorrow I’ll teach you how to use that radio you keep in that RV. You know, for little warnings when you kidnap pretty little girls.”

  “I kidnapped him.” Jessie laughed back at the fierce visage, in no way threatened or frightened of him. “Come on, Jazz, you don’t think I’m pretty enough to make a man forget to call first?”

  She admitted that the knowledge Slade hadn’t thought to do something that should have been second nature to him, pleased her. She had held his attention, completely.

  A smile twitched Jazz’s lips. “Girl, you’re pretty enough to make a grown man forget his own name.” His gaze flickered back to Slade, humor finally lighting the dark depths. “She’s dangerous, buddy, you better watch out for her.”

  “I intend to do just that.” Slade’s arm slipped around her once again. “A very close eye.”

  Jessie winked at Jazz, a reminder of the warning she had given him the year before—that Slade was hers, and one day, one way, she would prove it.

  The other man shook his head, his arms dropping from his chest before he wagged a finger at her.

  “You’re a bad girl, Jessie,” he grunted. “Your daddy should have spanked you more when you were little.”

  “Well, if he gets lucky, maybe I’ll let Slade take care of that minor bit of discipline.” She held back her smile as Jazz’s eyes dilated with surprise a second before he chuckled.

  “I don’t doubt he won’t either.” He turned to Slade. “Make sure you at least show up at the office on time tomorrow. We have to get that estimate together and get it out before noon.”

  “I’ll be there.” Slade urged Jesse forward. “See you tomorrow, Jazz.”

  The walk along the parking lot was made in silence, a relaxed, easy silence as the early evening warmth surrounded her, and Slade’s hand at her back did little to calm her. The way his fingers stroked and probed, she could feel the sensations clear to her pussy. She was aroused, aching and growing hotter by the minute.

  Thankfully, her apartment wasn’t far from the RV lot because the hard throb of Slade’s Harley beneath her wasn’t helping things as she rode behind him. Her knees clasped his thighs, his back raked against her breasts, sensitizing already overly aroused nipples.

  “Here you go.” He pulled into the parking lot, helping her from the bike before easing off himself. “Do you have a spare key?”

  She moved quickly to her car, reaching beneath the wheel mount where she kept the spare key, and headed to the door. Moments later, the door was unlocked and the security system deactivated.

  “Safe and sound—” Her words were cut off as the door slammed closed. She found herself lifted, pressed against it as Slade’s lips ravaged hers.

  Her arms went around his neck, her fingers sinking into the wealth of dark blond hair as a whimpering sound of hunger left her throat. His tongue pressed against hers, twined with it, as his lips slanted against hers and ate at her like candy.

  His hands weren’t still. His hard body held her close to the door and his fingers curled around her thighs, lifting them to encase his body. He pressed the jeans-covered length of his cock into the notch of her thighs.

  “I can’t get enough of you,” he growled, breaking the kiss, staring at her with eyes dark with lust. His fingers moved deeper between her legs, brushing against the aching entrance to her cunt as the wet heat dampened the material of the sweat
s she wore.

  “That’s a good thing.” Her head fell back against the door as his lips moved to her neck, his tongue licking, his teeth raking the tender flesh.

  “Not when I’m hard as hell and you need to rest.” He groaned, pulling back then licking at her lips again, teasing her with his tongue the barest second. “I’m outta here, baby, before I end up fucking you against the door and ruining dessert.”

  He released her slowly and opened the door, before pulling her back and placing another hard kiss on her lips.

  “I’ll be back in a few hours. Be ready for me. We might just hit dessert before dinner.”

  His broad chest moved roughly as he breathed in, a grimace twisting his lips before he kissed her again, his tongue delving deep for long moments. Jessie felt her mind disintegrating beneath the dominant possessiveness of his tongue.

  When he pulled back, he unwrapped her arms from his neck, brushing her lips with his thumb again. “You look pretty like that. Your lips swollen from my kiss, your eyes almost black because you want me almost as damned bad as I know I want you. Keep that look, baby, and I won’t make it five minutes before I fuck you again.”

  “That’s supposed to scare me?” She arched a brow suggestively. “You could always shower here, bad boy.”

  She watched the muscle jump in his jaw as he stepped back, shaking his head.

  “I’ll need clothes. If I’m late to the office tomorrow, Jazz and Zack both will kick my ass. Close that damned door and get in there and hide. Because when I come back, you’ve had it.”

  “I’ll love it.” She laughed as he groaned, pressing her back before gripping the door and closing it firmly.

  Turning, Jessie leaned against it, closing her eyes, her smile still in place. Finally, Slade was hers. She would learn whatever she had to learn, and in time, she was confident she would easily meet whatever needs he had. But he held her, when she knew he wasn’t one to hold his women, at least not in public. He kept her at his side, possessive, dominant. He had taken every opportunity to touch and hold her, finding a pleasure in doing so that she could see in his eyes.

  Giddy pleasure filled her as a silly smile shaped her lips. Her fingers bunched in the shirt she wore. The damned thing nearly fell to her knees, but it smelled like Slade, it wrapped around her and reminded her of his touch. Warmed her.

  And he was coming back, for dessert. Heat raced through her body, singed every nerve ending and had the blood pulsing fast and hot through her veins as she rushed for the shower. He was coming back and she intended to be ready for him.

  Chapter Six

  Amy was waiting for him when he pulled into the driveway of his home, and she wasn’t alone. Sitting on the porch with her was Don Farrell, his handler at the Office of Homeland Security. Slade could feel his stomach sink as he walked slowly up to the porch, the keys to the front door in hand, some internal sense warning him that his life was about to go to hell.

  “I heard you were cutting up a fuss at the campsite,” he told Amy as he stepped onto the porch.

  Amy wasn’t really the “cutting up a fuss” sort, and as he stared at her he knew whatever reason she had made such a public showing to collect him, it had nothing to do with hurting Jess, and everything to do with destroying his life.

  “She had to follow the relationship the two of you set up last year, Slade,” Don explained as Slade opened the front door then stood aside so they could enter.

  “That’s over,” he informed both of them. “So why try to continue playing the game?”

  The interior of the house was cool, dim, the peace it had once held shattered as Amy and Don entered and the door closed behind them.

  “Wrong. Kingston and Baines tracked us back here, Slade. The operation is back on. They made contact the other day and they’re interested in the deal we were setting up for the arms. We’re back on, lover.” She laughed at him, as Slade felt something wither inside his chest.

  Kingston and Baines were as elusive as shadows. The arms dealers were supplying weapons and ammunition to the Middle East, and the C.I.A. as well as Homeland Security were desperate to stop them. If they didn’t stop them, the bloodshed was only going to get worse.

  “We have a watcher who drove in last night.” Amy pulled a file from her bag as she moved into the kitchen.

  Slade went for the whisky. He didn’t bother with a glass, he uncapped the bottle and took a hard, nerve-strengthening swig that nearly stole his breath.

  “Are you okay?” Amy asked as he lowered the bottle, fighting for life rather than just breath.

  “I’m listening.” And dying inside.

  “We had announced the engagement before the operation broke off, and Kingston and Baines are offering to host the wedding.” Her smile was triumphant as she opened the file to a color picture. “This is our watcher, he arrived in town last night, and he was at the party you attended in the clearing. We’ll be heading back to Washington in three weeks, compliments of Kingston and Baines, once everything is in place. They’ll hold the wedding and we’ll be in.”

  Kingston and Baines were family men, as odd as that was. Working within the organization had taken over a year, only to have it fall through when the two brothers-in-law had pulled back from their very lucrative side business for some reason.

  “Why now?” Just when he thought he had his life on track. When he thought he could finally follow his own dreams.

  “Who knows? That’s what we need you to find out,” Don stated, his plump face sober and intense. “Find out what they’re up to and get the proof on them. Let’s do this while we have the chance.”

  “Projected length of assignment?” It wouldn’t be overnight, that was for damned sure.

  “Three years. From experience we know they won’t move fast. They’re just dipping their feet back into the arms sales right now. Your cover as suppliers will aid us in finding out exactly where those arms are going and who their contacts are. We want to round up the whole network, Slade, not just a few of them.”

  Three years.

  He stared at Amy. The engagement they had set up before the operation had fallen through had made sense at the time. Now, it was ripping through him with razor-sharp regret.

  Jessie. God, what was he going to do about Jessie? He tilted the bottle back, ignoring Amy and Don’s confused looks as they watched him. He didn’t owe them any fucking explanations, all he owed them was the completion of the contract he had signed. A contract that signed his soul to the Homeland Security office until this operation was finished. A completion that had been a done deal until now.

  He nodded shortly. “Give me the details.”

  He couldn’t not finish it. If Kingston and Baines ever learned he wasn’t who and what he pretended to be, a construction company owner with the means and connections to procure the weapons they needed, then they would strike. They would strike first at the people closest to him. At Jessie. Jessie couldn’t be hurt. He had to protect her, the only way he knew how.

  Summer nights had always been Slade’s favorite time. The breeze rushing through his hair was scented with freshly cut grass, burning charcoal and life. Peace had always enveloped him when he rode the bike on nights like this, but tonight, there was no peace.

  Regret ripped through his guts with enough force to knot the muscles there, to cause his teeth to clench until they ached from the pressure. The wind whipped through his hair, the familiar scents of the mountains wrapped around him, but all he smelled was Jessie’s sweet scent, and a bitter fury that could be aimed at no one but himself.

  All he could think about was touching her, feeling the heated warmth of her flesh against him, the fist-tight grip of her pussy milking his cock with destructive results, hurling him into a release he couldn’t refuse, no matter how much he wanted it to last. The way her eyes stared up at him, no matter what he did to her, or encouraged her to do to him, she watched him with heat and hunger.

  God, what a fool he had been. Wrapping himself around
her, letting that something he couldn’t name fill him, only to have it ripped from him with a force that still left him gasping, fighting to breathe past the denials racing through his head. He should have just stayed home. It was senseless to do this, but he couldn’t seem to let it go. He had to see her, one last time, convince himself more than her that the past weekend had been a mistake they were both going to have to put behind them.

  He owed her that much. He couldn’t leave her hoping, wondering. If he did, he would never be able to protect her in the only way he knew how. And he had to protect Jessie. Above all things, even before his own comfort, his own agonizing regret, he had to protect her.

  And it was destroying him to make this ride, to follow through with what he knew he had to do. As he drove through the night, images of the weekend played before his mind. Jessie on her knees, her lips wrapped around his cock as he taught her how to pleasure him. On her back, her thighs spread, her screams filling his mind as he pushed his tongue slow and easy inside her climaxing pussy, feeling the waves of release on the fingers he had buried in her ass.

  Jessie swimming naked in the water, wrapped in moonlight, daring him to join her. Or sitting against his chest as the dawn rose over the mountains, his arms wrapped around her as the fog enclosed them.

  It had been a dream. A fantasy come to life, and now it was over. It was just over.

  He turned the motorcycle into the small apartment complex she lived in. The neat little rows of buildings with their cheerful flowers growing along the stoops and fresh cut grass, cut into his chest. He didn’t want to see cheerful when the regret was nearly eating him alive. It was just regret. It wasn’t truly grief. His soul wasn’t being ripped in two. He hadn’t loved her, he assured himself. He cared for her. He didn’t want to hurt her—hell, he had spent years protecting her until she was old enough for him. She was a beautiful woman. A sexy, hungry little kitten and he was a possessive man. That was all it had been. He didn’t love her.