Undeniable
Page 19
“After that, things started to amp up kind of fast. It was like a door had been opened. I was talking into people’s minds, but I couldn’t control it. So I would say things I shouldn’t, and they’d get mad. It was mostly my parents, of course, but it happened at school, too.”
“What happened when your parents got mad?” I knew already, I was almost positive, but she needed to tell me. I needed to hear her say it.
“They hit me. Or they shook me. Threw me. They were scared. My mother...oh, God, this is complicated, Rafe. I’m from such a fucked up family.” Tears I almost never saw filled her brown eyes.
“Baby, most of us are. Even if it doesn’t look like it from the outside, there’s almost some kind of dysfunction. Besides, you know what? Coming out of that as strong and wonderful as you are says more about you than about them.” I kissed her, a mere brush of lips, and then used my thumb to swipe away the tears. “Go on.”
She sucked in a ragged breath. “My mother had come from a very religious family. Super strict, very uptight. So when I started doing—what I did, she thought she was being punished by God for her sins. For leaving the church she’d grown up in, for marrying my dad, who didn’t believe in anything. For not raising Penny and me to be God-fearing. She used to scream all that at me whenever I accidentally spoke into her mind. She said I was evil, full of sin.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
“Maybe I know it now, but when you’re nine, ten years old, and your mother is telling you that, you tend to believe it. By then Penny had gotten out of the house. She tried to come around as often as she could to take me out, but when she moved in with her boyfriend, my mother told her she wasn’t welcome to come back, and I wasn’t allowed to even talk to her on the phone.” Joss bit the corner of her lip, and I touched the spot with the tip of my finger, gently releasing it.
“When did the telekinesis start? You said it was in school.”
“It showed up in school, but it started at home. I had accidentally said something in my dad’s head, and he freaked out, came at me with his belt. Next thing I knew, one of my school books smacked him in the head. I hadn’t thrown it, of course. He thought I had. Then other stuff in the room started flying, and they figured it out. Locked me in my room. After that, they kept me put away whenever I wasn’t in school. They said I was dangerous.”
I was boiling with a rage I’d only rarely known. Part of me wanted to go find her parents and beat the shit of both of them. Let them know what it felt like to be helpless in the face of violence. Another part of me wanted to hold Joss close and protect her from being hurt again. I wanted to get her out of this camp, take her away from any kind of fear or threat.
But I couldn’t do any of those things. I could only kiss away the tears that ran down her cheeks now and pull her tight against me.
“Baby, it’s over. They can’t hurt you anymore. I won’t let anyone hurt you, I promise.”
Joss sniffled. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Rafe.”
“You don’t think I can protect you?” I leaned back to see her face, frowning.
She laid her hand on my cheek. “I think you would try. But I learned the hard way that no one can keep you safe from all the bad shit in the world. When Delia and Harley came to take me to Carruthers, I thought the bad stuff was over, and it was, mostly. But there’s always something waiting to trip you up. And sometimes it’s what you least expect that hurts you the worst.”
My heart thudded painfully. I had a feeling I knew what she was saying. Joss didn’t talk about her feelings for me anymore than I did for her, but there were times I caught a warmth in her eyes, felt more than just friendship or passion in her touch. And there was no denying that what had started out as just sex—hot, wild, amazing sex—had morphed into love making. Joss knew, and maybe I did, too, that I had the power to hurt her now. I didn’t know what to do with that. It was easier to put off thinking about it until this job was over. When we were back in Florida, when this was done, we’d talk. We’d figure it all out.
For now, I could only pull her on top of me, draping the blankets over her back so that she didn’t shiver. She propped herself up and gazed down at me, a curious smile playing on her lips, face still streaked with the trails of tears.
I ran my hands up her sides to cup her breasts, push them together. I leaned forward just enough to capture a pink tip in my lips, smiling when I heard her soft intake of breath. She put her hands on my shoulders and followed me as I fell back to the ground, her nipple still in my mouth.
We were both still nude from our earlier round, and I felt myself growing harder against her as she moved restlessly above me. We’d both had medical tests before this mission. Since everything came back clean and Joss was on the pill anyway, I had stopped using condoms. Being inside her, with nothing between us, was an incredible feeling. Thinking of it now made me want her even more. I shifted my mouth to her other breast, using my free hand to roll the damp nipple I’d just left between two fingers. Joss was holding herself over me, eyes closed and lips parted as she panted.
I reached between us, down to the apex of her thighs, to find her wet and ready. When I touched her sensitive flesh, she arched and then pressed against my fingers, moving in rhythm with my strokes, moaning my name.
She lowered so that her breasts brushed my chest, leaned to whisper in my ear.
“I want you inside me. Now.”
A shot of pure want made me grip her upper arms, and I clenched my teeth to keep from throwing her down, pounding both of us into oblivion. It felt important for her to have control right now, and for me to be the one to give it to her.
“So put me inside you. Ride me. Do it.”
Her eyes sparked, heated, and she reared up, slid down my body and took me in her two hands. Watching my face, she held my cock, moved her grip up and down, pausing every now and then to circle the head with her thumb.
When I thought I wasn’t going to make it, was about to lose it, she rose up over me, positioning my hard length at her entrance. We never broke the connection between our eyes as she sank, impossibly, maddeningly slow onto me, taking me in a little more with every breath and threatening my sanity.
Once I was fully sheathed, she took my fingers from her hips and laced them with hers. She fell forward and leaned on our joined hands as she began to rock, moving me inside of her, pulling up so that only my tip stayed inside and then slamming into me again.
I felt when she was close, when her back bent, her eyes closed and her mouth formed a perfect O. I lifted my head to suck in the nipple that tantalized in front of my face, and that was all she needed. Her body stiffened, pulsed, contracted around me, and then with a shout, I was pumping upwards, calling her name.
Joss fell onto me, both of our bodies slick with sweat despite the freezing air around us.
When we could breathe again, she raised her face so that she could see my eyes, and she smiled.
Thank you, Rafe.
***
“YOU NEVER FINISHED explaining your theory last night. Your second theory about my abilities. And what it has to do with my sordid past.”
It was early morning, and dawn just beginning to throw beams of sunlight through the trees into our tent. Joss and I were still tangled up in each other, huddled for warmth as much as out of desire.
I kissed the top of her head. “We kind of got distracted.”
Her smile curved against my neck where her face was buried. “That we did. But tell me now.”
“It’s not exactly a theory as much as...I don’t know, a thought. If your power is the ability to manifest what you need, maybe it came from your childhood. We know you’re perceptive, we know you can broadcast—and now hear thoughts—and you’re telekinetic. All of those came out of an extreme need for them, at least as your mind might have seen it. Which is pretty cool.”
Her sigh fanned over my ear. “That’s...interesting. Have you ever heard of someone like that?”
“I guess for now, it’s going to be trial and error. If that’s the truth, would it explain why my abilities are kind of erratic sometimes?”
“I think so. It’s possible that in times of low stress, you don’t need them to be active, so they’re not so easily used.” I blew out a breath. “I don’t know. This is just me thinking out loud. I may be way off.”
Joss lifted herself up, smiled down sleepily at me. “If you’re right, let’s hope I get what we need, when we need it. Right now I need a shower, so I’d like the gift of invisibility. So I don’t have to worry about all the other women in the shower house.”
She closed her eyes, concentrating. A minute later, she opened one eye and looked at me. “Can you still see me?”
“Afraid so. In all your glory, too.”
She glanced down at her naked body and shrugged. “Oh, well. Maybe invisibility isn’t a real power, anyway.” She grabbed for the jeans and sweatshirt she’d shucked off the night before and her bag of shower stuff. “I’ll see you at breakfast. I’m on cooking detail today, so I’m going to head over to the lodge as soon as I’m done at the bathhouse.”
I dressed and followed the same path to the men’s shower. I ran into Billy hauling firewood into the clearing as I came out.
“Morning.” It was still early, so he kept his voice low. Part of the rule of respect, as Nathan called it, was consideration for our community. That included keep the noise level down before eight in the morning and after nine at night.
“Hey.” I raised a hand in greeting. “Need help with that?”
He tilted his head in a version of a shrug since his arms were filled. “Nah, thanks. I think this is the end of it.”
People were beginning to wander into the fire circle as Billy dumped his load of wood near the edge of the seats. I sat down on a stump, watching as the day began. Joss had been able to tell me which campers had powers she had perceived, and I tended to keep a more careful eye on that handful of folks than I did the rest of them.
There were two hulking men who usually seemed to be with Nathan or Ian. Between the two of us, Joss and I thought they might have some telekinesis or some kind of special physical strength. One of them lived with a woman we suspected of being able a precog. I had caught her staring at us more than once, with narrowed eyes. We worked to keep our blocks up extra strong around her. She might be able to perceive the future, but she couldn’t definitively see our part in it.
Nathan was my greatest concern. I still wasn’t sure how he felt about us being here; he didn’t often interact with either Joss or me beyond necessary small talk or a greeting. Now more than ever, I wanted to find out what role he played between Ben, Chatham and the commune. After my conversation with Joss last night, I wanted to get her out of this place as soon as we had completed our mission.
Billy finished stacking the firewood and stopped to speak to a girl who passed him. I watched him, considering. Joss had described Billy’s mind as open and simple, and that made me wonder if he might not be the best candidate for an idea that was beginning to form in my head.
I knew Joss was in the lodge kitchen, and I should have talked to her before I made any move, but here was Billy right in front of me. Sooner was better than later, I decided.
I focused on his mind, staring unseeing into the flames in the fire pit. Joss was right; there was nothing twisted or complicated there. I couldn’t hear his thoughts, but I could sense direction and intention when I was in the middle of manipulating someone. Billy was refreshingly open.
He didn’t show any outward sign of what I was doing except for a fleeting expression of puzzlement. I wasn’t sure it had taken until I saw him make his way around the circle to where Nathan had just strolled in.
I couldn’t hear the two talking, but I felt Nathan’s eyes on me. I was careful not to look at them, turning instead to chat with an older woman I’d met on our first night at the commune. I was aware, though, when Billy moved away and took a seat on a stump not too far from us.
I excused myself to the woman I’d been talking with and made my way into the lodge. The kitchen was reminded me of a beehive: everyone moving in a different direction, consumed in whatever task had been assigned. I found Joss at the coffeemaker.
“Hey. No sneaking any food ahead of time.” She smirked at me as she counted scoops into the filter.
“Nope. Just came to make sure you were doing okay.” I slid my arms around her from the back, making sure we were touching before I opened my mind and thought about the conversation I’d just pushed Billy to have with Nathan.
She drew her eyebrows together. What made you decide to make that move this morning?
I gave a mental shrug.
Okay. It was a good idea. When I get out there, I’ll listen and see if I can figure out how it went.
Turned out that she didn’t need to listen very hard, since Billy came to sit with us while we ate.
“Hey, so I hope you guys don’t mind, but I talked to Nathan this morning and asked him if maybe you could stay here. You know, like, for good. Even after your car is fixed.”
Joss’s expression of surprise was worthy of a best actress Oscar. “Oh, geez, Billy, really?” She glanced at me. “Rafe and I like it here, but we hadn’t thought about staying.”
I grinned at him. “Thanks, man.” I bit into a biscuit, chewing and swallowing before I continued. “What did Nathan say? Do you think we could?”
Billy frowned. “He said he’s not in charge of who comes and goes. I know that, but he’s kind of like our leader. He’s the one who talks to Ben.”
I almost dropped my mug of coffee, but Joss didn’t even blink. I wondered if she’d had a head’s up from Billy’s mind before he spoke.
“Who’s Ben?” She smiled, curious and interested, not the least bit threatening.
But Billy’s face turned deep red, and his mouth dropped open. “I—I, uh, I don’t know. I don’t know what I meant.” He stood jerkily, his plate in one white-knuckled hand. “I gotta go. I’ll see you around.”
We watched him go, and Joss turned to me. “Wow, that was weird. I hope we didn’t say something wrong.” It was a good cover line, but her eyes met mine with understanding. Something had been going on in Billy’s open mind, apparently.
We ate the rest of our food in silence until I saw Nathan walking toward us, an edge of tension around his normally blank expression.
“Good morning, folks. Everything going okay with the two of you?” He was trying to play the concerned host, but I noticed his hands were fisted on his hips.
“Yeah, it’s all good, Nathan, thanks.” I set down my fork. “Ian says he’s probably going to town to order the parts for our car this weekend. As soon as they get in and we can get them on the Impala, Joss and I will be out of your hair.”
“Hey, no rush. You’re welcome as long as you want to stay.” His eyes lingered on Joss. “Matter of fact, Billy came to talk to me this morning, suggested maybe you might want to stay on here for good. Did you say anything to him about that?”
I shook my head. “Billy told us the same thing, just now. No, we hadn’t asked him. I mean, we like it here, don’t get me wrong, but we hadn’t thought of settling down anywhere yet.”
“Okay.” Nathan nodded. “I understand that. You’re young, you have plans. But we can talk again if you change your minds. We want to welcome anyone who wants to be here, but we also need to make sure whoever lives with us is a good fit.” His black eyes drilled into me. “You understand.”
“Sure.” I managed to get out the one syllable even though it felt for a minute like he was strangling me.
Nathan stood silent for another beat before he gave us a brief nod and turned away.
So what was that supposed to accomplish?
I picked up Joss’s hand where it lay on the arm of her
lawn chair. I kissed her knuckles and smiled, keeping my voice just above a whisper so it would look like I was saying something sexy and intimate. “I just wanted to see his reaction. If he had said we had to leave as soon as possible, I might have thought he’d made us.” I lifted one shoulder. “Still don’t know for sure. Caution doesn’t necessarily prove anything.”
“No. I’m thinking we need to try another angle.” Joss glanced around the clearing. The clean up crew had already gone back to the kitchen, and only a few people were left around us.
Cara. I think she might be the key to getting information about Nathan and maybe even about Ben.”
I raised one eyebrow. “Really?” And in my mind, I replayed all the hostility Cara had shown us since we’d been at the camp.
We need to double-team her. You manipulate, I listen.
I looked into the fire for a few minutes, thinking. “I may have a better idea. Or at least something to get the ball rolling.”
Worry filled Joss’s eyes. I squeezed her shoulder and dropped a kiss on her forehead as I stood. “Don’t worry. I’ll see you in a bit.”
One good thing about a small commune was that finding someone didn’t take very long. I had learned that Nathan’s hut was set back in trees beyond the lodge, and by asking a few roundabout questions, I’d also found out that Cara slept there, too. Thinking about what the de facto commune leader might be doing with my friend from high school made me feel a little nauseated, so I pushed it from my mind as I followed the narrow path. It wouldn’t surprise me if Cara had some kind of daddy issues, and I’d seen the way she looked at Nathan.
The trees grew sparser and the ground more marshy just before Nathan’s place came into view. It was definitely a more upscale version of the other structures I’d seen in the camp, but it wasn’t huge. There were glass windows, a small porch and a real wooden door instead of the curtain Ian had at his house. In the back was a smaller building without any openings except a steel door with a padlock on it. I quirked an eyebrow. Well, wasn’t that interesting.