by Autumn Reed
“She was released from the hospital with no major injuries, and she’s been appointed a counselor who works with victims and hostages,” Liam said.
When everyone returned their attention to the TV, I stood behind Knox, massaging his neck, kneading his shoulders, and digging my fingers into his scalp until he noticeably relaxed. Finally, he leaned his head back to look at me, and his eyes were full of sadness, anger, and regret. “Thank you,” he mouthed, and I leaned down to kiss him, wishing I could erase even a small amount of his pain.
“How about some pizza?” I asked, relieved when he nodded.
I filled a plate for each of us and returned to the couch, taking a seat between him and Liam. Everyone was silent, lost in their own thoughts, and I was thankful when Theo settled on something to watch. Even though it was a comedy we’d all seen before, and enjoyed, no one was laughing.
A phone chimed from across the room and then again.
“Why does your phone keeping going off, Haley?” Theo asked when he went to the kitchen for more pizza. “We’re all here.”
“I don’t know. Who is it?”
“Kara left a voicemail, and there’s an alarm going off for ‘BC Pill,’” he said with a question in his voice.
Feeling four sets of eyes on me, I panicked and leapt from the couch, yanking my phone from his hand before locking myself in the bedroom. I flopped on the bed and buried my face in a pillow, wishing I could erase the last few minutes of my life. Even after a month on the pill, the daily reminders were a necessity. But, I should have known better than to title the alarm something so obvious.
There was a soft knock at the door, and the movie continued to play in the background. “Haley?” Theo said in a quiet voice. “I’m sorry. Don’t be embarrassed you’re on the pill. It’s smart. We all already got tested to make sure we’re clean, so no worries there. In case you were wondering.”
“You’re not helping,” Knox whisper-yelled, and I imagined him pulling Theo away from the door before he could dig a deeper hole with his rambling. I would’ve laughed, but I was too mortified to consider it. This was not at all how I envisioned broaching the subject.
Not even remotely ready to consider leaving the bedroom, I stalled by scrolling through the alerts on my phone. At two-thirty Kara had texted, “Do you still want to meet up after class?” An hour later, “Are you okay?” And, several hours later, “I’m really starting to worry about you. I’m trying not to panic, but I haven’t heard from you all afternoon.” And, finally a voicemail.
I could hear the concern in her voice, and I hated that I was responsible for it. All I wanted to do was crawl in bed and forget the entire day. There was no way I was ready to explain, or to relive, what had happened just yet. Wanting to at least ease her mind, I typed out a quick message.
Me: I’m okay. Too tired to talk. I’ll call when I get a chance.
I stared at the door, knowing that confronting the guys instead of hiding from them would be the mature thing to do. Unsteady on my feet, I walked out of the bedroom and stood in the open doorway.
Theo, Chase, Liam, and Knox all turned to look at me, almost in unison. I glanced at each of them but didn't allow my gaze to linger on any one face.
"Yes, I'm on the pill. No, I don't want to talk about it. I'm taking a shower and going to bed. If anyone wants to share my room, you have fifteen minutes."
I spun on my heels and went back into the bedroom, shutting the door behind me. I was too exhausted and drained to deal with one more thing tonight. Sometimes, the only thing to do was call it a day and try again tomorrow.
Exposed
Liam parked the car and led me to the hospital doors.
“What, exactly, did the text from Patrick say?”
He chuckled. “Are you going to make me read it word for word?”
“That would be preferable.”
“Fine.” He made a show of pulling his phone out of his pocket and unlocking the screen, like he didn’t already do that a hundred times a day. “Jaguar meeting in the private waiting room in Jax’s wing. Bring Haley. Ethan is telling all.”
“Telling all what?” I asked, dubious.
“I assume he’s finally going to disclose his dirty secrets.”
“I’m not sure he would want me there,” I hedged. “Our last encounter didn’t exactly go well.” And, I don’t want to make things worse.
“That’s all on Chase and Ethan, gorgeous. Come on,” he said, looping an arm around my shoulder. “I have a feeling you’d regret missing this.”
When we walked into the waiting room, Chase, Theo, Knox, and Jackson were already seated around a rectangular table. Although Ethan saved Jackson’s life, the tension was palpable. Ethan, sporting an ugly black eye, looked like he would rather swim with sharks than face the room full of Jaguars. Did I really need to be here?
I headed straight for Jackson, still filled with that overwhelming urgency to confirm with my own eyes that he was okay. Taking the seat next to him, I kissed his cheek, noticing he looked more rested. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine, Haley. You can stop worrying about me.”
“That may never happen.”
He reached for my hand under the conference table. “Well, there are worse things than you smothering me.”
Alarmed, I asked, “Am I really smothering you?”
“No.” He leaned close and whispered, “I rather like the attention, if I’m being honest.”
I smiled, but it promptly fell when Ethan cleared his throat. “Can we get started before I lose my breakfast?”
“By all means,” Knox responded, his voice heavy with sarcasm. “We’re all dying to hear why you betrayed us and Zenith.”
“You know what?” Ethan stood so abruptly, his chair pitched to the ground. “I don’t need this shit. I’ve already told Patrick everything; you can hear it from him.”
“Ethan, wait,” I called as he walked to the door. He paused but didn’t turn around. “We’re all beyond grateful for what you did for Jax, but don’t you think it’s time to clear the air? This is your chance.” When he remained rooted to the spot, I added, “I’m sure Knox will keep his snide remarks to himself.”
Knox grunted but inclined his head in agreement.
Ethan finally turned around and eyed the rest of us. “You’re different now. With Haley in the fold and . . . whatever you call this thing you have.” Jackson started to interrupt, but Ethan held up a hand. “Don’t get your panties in a twist. I’m trying to say that it’s a good change.”
He sat back down and sagged against the chair, looking tired and utterly defeated. “You’re not going to like what I have to say, but I would appreciate it if you’d let me get through it. Then, you can ask questions or cuss me out or whatever.
“In September of last year, I was approached by a member of Team 27 out of Miami. He was in the San Jose office for a special training and said he’d heard I was the guy to ask about the best bars for picking up women.”
I internally cringed at that comment but reminded myself it didn’t matter anymore.
Ethan shrugged. “So, I took him out. We had a couple beers, but it turned out he wasn’t interested in meeting women. He wanted to recruit me. Told me this story about how his father beat his mother to a bloody pulp, and a judge let him out of jail a week later. The day he was released, his father murdered his mother. And, I felt for the guy. Who wouldn’t?
“Then, he started ranting about how we can’t trust the system to carry out justice. Sometimes, we have to take it into our own hands.
“At first, I thought he was a little nuts, but then he brought up my dad—probably the only topic that could gain my undivided attention.” He tapped his fingers on the table. “By that time, we were quite a few more beers in, and it didn’t occur to me that he must have investigated me to know about the circumstances surrounding Dad’s murder.”
I thought back to what Chase’s gran told me about the murderer getting off on a technicality. It made me
sick to think anyone would use that tragic part of Ethan’s past to manipulate him.
“We went out several more times that week, and he piled it all on slowly. Explained that he was a member of The Elites—a team with a secret, self-imposed mission to go above and beyond. He said I’d be an ideal candidate and catered to my ego by pointing out that I was leadership material, but I'd never get a chance to prove it as an underling to ‘that arrogant prick, Jackson Hart.’ Direct quote,” he added with a smug grin. I sensed Jackson tensing next to me, but he didn’t take the bait.
“We kept in touch over the next few months, and the more he said things like that, the more I believed them. I started getting angry and lashing out when my suggestions were ignored. He fed on my frustration. Told me how liberating it would be—belonging to a team where my opinion was valued. Where I could make a difference, not just money.
“He said it would be the best way to honor my dad, and like all good propaganda, the idea appealed to me.
“Eventually, my rift with Jackson became part of the plan. My way out. When I left Jaguar, I’d request a transfer to Miami and work closely with Team 27. Once eligible, I would officially join their team.
“I almost backed out at the last minute.” He glanced at me, then away. Everything he’d said at our lunch together was making so much more sense now. “But, it was too late. I'd alienated everyone here, even Chase. I didn't see the point in trying to fix things. So, I left.”
Ethan crossed his arms over his wide chest, like he was preparing for a verbal attack, at the very least. My eyes drifted around the room, attempting to gauge reactions. Knox’s expression was blank, of course. Theo looked like he was fluctuating between annoyance and pity. Chase just looked sad. And, Jackson? I wanted to give him a hug. He was clearly beating himself up, believing he could have prevented everything. It was so like him to take responsibility for things he couldn’t control.
When everyone remained silent, Ethan finally said, “I know you have questions. Speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Theo glowered at him. “Were you involved with the break-in?”
“No, and 27 denied involvement when I asked. I didn’t find out they were behind it until I moved to Miami.” His laugh was humorless. “There was a lot I didn’t find out until after I was already in Miami—including the existence of a second team of Elites in Dallas. Not that it mattered by then. I was stuck.”
“What was the purpose of the break-in?” Jackson asked. “I still can’t make sense of the data they planted.”
“I only know the basics, since I was the newbie. That break-in was one of many similar events but was the only time they got caught. It was all part of some elaborate failsafe The Elites created in case anyone at Zenith became suspicious of their activities.
“They planted false leads about other teams throughout Zenith to overwhelm anyone investigating. The files that were supposed to be planted on Patrick’s computer contained mostly inconsequential information, but they also included multiple false reports attributed to other teams and possibly Patrick himself.
“Although I don’t know the whole of it, the scheme itself was carefully calculated. As soon as The Elites caught wind of suspicion on them, they’d pull a plug that would create chaos within Zenith. What they didn’t plan for was Patrick’s covert use of Jaguar to uncover the so-called internal corruption. And, they didn’t account for the possibility of me exposing them.”
“You wouldn’t call it internal corruption?” Knox asked.
“No.”
“Then, what would you call it?”
“A group of people who wanted their work to mean something more. Who weren’t satisfied with letting criminals get away with unlawful behavior just because a specific assignment was completed.”
“Yeah, by killing those criminals. Sounds a lot like vigilante justice to me. Does your overinflated sense of purpose come with a green suit and flaming arrows?”
Theo sputtered out a laugh, but I couldn’t manage even a smile. The Elites had been taking justice into their own hands . . . literally?
Ethan glared at Knox. “It wasn’t like that, or at least it wasn’t supposed to be. I agreed to join The Elites because they said it was all about going above and beyond our duty. Taking extra steps to ensure justice. The assignments I worked on with them were mostly additional surveillance and providing detailed anonymous tips to the police. Not physical violence.”
Jackson finally spoke up. “Then, why did you show up, thinking Knox and I were in danger?”
Ethan rubbed at his tired-looking eyes. “Because of a conversation I had with a member of 27. He made a comment about hoping Laredo would manage to complete the mission without getting Patrick Ross’s son killed.
“Before that, I didn’t even know you and Knox were part of the mission.
“Anyway, I asked him what he meant, and though he didn’t go into detail, he said Laredo tended to get trigger happy when an assignment involved underage kidnapping victims. After that, I didn’t think. I just hopped on the next flight out.”
“Thank you.” Jackson looked down at his wrapped shoulder, and I squeezed his knee, not sure whether I was reassuring him or myself. “I don’t want to think about what would have happened if you didn’t show up.”
“You’re welcome.” Ethan’s faint smile was surprisingly genuine. “And, despite everything, I don’t think you’re an arrogant prick. I didn’t even when I left the team.”
“Good to know,” Jackson said blandly.
“So, what now?” Chase asked Ethan. “At Zenith, I mean.”
“I’ve been suspended pending an investigation. Since I already turned over the names of The Elites and agreed to cooperate, Patrick thinks he’ll be able to save my job.” He scrubbed his hands over his jeans, suddenly looking restless. “Look, I’m exhausted. If you have more questions, I’m sure Patrick will answer them.”
He stood and made a beeline for the door. “Chase, can I talk to you in private for a minute?”
I watched them go, concerned. “You don’t think they’ll come to blows again, do you?”
Theo laughed. “I hope not. I’d hate to miss that a second time.”
“Not funny.”
“Oh, come on. Innocent little Chase punching big bad Ethan must have been epic.”
“Chase is bigger than you.”
“Metaphorically little. And, are you calling me skinny? Because, that’s not what your eyes told me the last time you watched me undress.”
“Enough,” Knox growled. “I am too tired for your antics today, Theo.”
“Haley started it.”
I rolled my eyes at him but couldn’t hold back my smile. Theo could always be counted on to lighten the mood.
Turning to Jackson, I caught him wincing. “Why don’t you let me take you back to your room?”
“Don’t you think we should address the elephant in the room, first?” Liam asked.
“What elephant?” What was I missing?
“Don’t even think about it,” Knox said. “We’re not letting Ethan back on the team. I don’t care that he saved Jax’s life.”
“Knox!” I shot him a dirty look.
“Okay, I care. But, it doesn’t make up for the fact that he made a series of extremely bad decisions, including abandoning the team.”
“I hate to say it, but I agree,” Theo chimed in. “How can we trust him?”
“Exactly.”
“I’ll play devil’s advocate,” Liam said, winking at me. He was devilish all right. “Ethan made poor choices, sure, but his intentions were honorable. Every one of us has been guilty of the same at one point or another.”
“Yes, but none of us have committed treachery,” Knox retorted. “Look, I’m all for second chances. But, he already had a second at the meeting back in April, then a third when I hunted him down at that cabin. I’m done.”
“What do you want to do, Jax?” Liam asked. “We’ll follow your lead.”
&nbs
p; Jackson dropped his head, tugging at his curls. “I’m not thinking clearly right now, but if I was, I’d say Knox is right. Ethan may have redeemed himself by helping us and turning in his accomplices, but it doesn’t change the past.”
“Chase won’t agree,” Theo said. “You know he’ll want to bring Ethan back.”
“I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit.” Four heads turned in my direction, and I hesitated. I probably should have stayed out of it. “Chase felt more betrayed by Ethan than any of you. He may forgive him, but I don’t think he’d welcome him back to the team with open arms.”
The door swung open, and Chase reappeared. “Haley’s right.” At my startled expression, he shrugged. “The door was cracked open.”
He stopped at the head of the table, looking more confident than I remembered ever seeing him. “I hope Ethan and I can be friends again, someday. But, that’s it.” His gaze landed on me. “We’re all better off moving on.”
The others nodded and, just like that, it was over once and for all. Team Jaguar was leaving Ethan Wright in the rearview mirror. It was an ending none of us would have foreseen a year ago, but I finally understood that no one person was at fault. Ethan’s ghosts had caught up with him, and now he would be forced to start over. On his own.
That thought caused one last pang of guilt and sadness, but I made a conscious decision not to dwell on it any longer. Surrounded by the most incredible men I could imagine, I chose to believe I was staring at my future.
Everything
To my utter shock, Jackson allowed me to push him back to his room in a wheelchair. His earlier vitality seemed to have drained out of him, and now he was back to looking weak and exhausted. Not that I was surprised by the downturn. After that meeting, even I felt like I’d been hit by a Mack Truck.
Once he was settled somewhat comfortably in bed and I convinced his nurse to bring him a fresh pitcher of ice water, I perched on the edge. “Do you want to talk about what just happened?”
His head fell back against the pillow. “It’s a lot to process.”
