by Autumn Reed
“I can tell you feel guilty, but Ethan’s decisions were his own. You’re not at fault.”
“Maybe not, but I’ll always regret not working harder to figure out what was going on with him.”
“I think we all will.” Sensing he didn’t want to discuss the subject any further, I asked, “Can I get you anything?” as I moved to the chair.
“No, I’m fine.” He shifted slightly, his grimace barely noticeable. “Haley, seeing your beautiful face always makes me feel better.”
At his pause, I asked, “But?”
“But, you don’t need to stay. I’ll probably fall asleep as soon as the drugs kick in, anyway.”
“Should I be worried that you want to be alone with your pretty nurse?” I teased. In all honestly, I could tell he needed rest and didn’t want to impede his recovery.
He smiled. “Never.”
“Okay, then, I’ll go.” Reaching into my bag, I pulled out the e-reader I purchased for him that morning. “I got you a little something. I already downloaded some of your favorite books and a few new releases. In case you get bored,” I added, feeling awkward.
Jackson took the gift from my hands, looking stunned and incredibly pleased. “This is amazing. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” I popped up out of the chair. “Well, I’ll let you rest and come by later.” I headed for the door, but he called out, stopping me.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?”
I glanced at the chair I’d just vacated, then the bag slung over my shoulder. “No, I didn’t bring anything else.”
He chuckled. “Get over here and kiss me goodbye.”
“Oh,” I said, my cheeks pinkening, “how remiss of me.”
“Damn right.”
Carefully placing my hands on either side of him, I leaned over, giving him a quick kiss. Several days’ worth of facial hair somehow made his lips feel softer and almost unfamiliar. When I tried to pull away, his good arm reached up and captured the back of my head, holding me in place. He deepened the kiss, making me wish he wasn’t injured so I could show him how much he meant to me.
I forced myself to draw away and noticed his eyes appeared glazed. Whether from desire or pain medication, I wasn’t sure. Either way, I needed to get out of there so he could sleep.
“See you later, Jax.”
I shut the door behind me and found Knox leaning against the wall opposite Jackson’s room. “Hey, what are you doing out here?”
He straightened. “I wanted to give you two some alone time.”
“That wasn’t necessary.” I glanced both ways down the hall. No one else was in sight. “Where are the others?”
“They had to report to the Dallas office. It’s crazy there.”
“Not you?”
“No, apparently getting shot at gives me a free pass for the day. Something to remember for the future.”
“Don’t even joke about that.” I wanted to smack him but decided to go with a hug instead. As always, his warmth and strength enveloped me, but I didn’t feel as settled as usual. The image of Knox and Jackson surrounded by men with guns was too fresh.
“I know.” His arms tightened around me, and I buried my face in his chest. “As soon as that first shot was fired, all I could think about was getting home to you.”
Fighting tears, I couldn’t bring myself to respond. I wanted to beg him to never go on an assignment again, but that was impossible, and it wouldn’t be fair to even ask it. He loved his job, and deep down, I knew he could take care of himself. They all could.
He placed a kiss on my forehead before releasing me. “Let’s get out of here.”
I followed him to a nondescript sedan, black like all the vehicles in the Zenith fleet. He started the engine, then turned to me. “I should probably offer to take you to a museum or the zoo or something, but I’m running on only a few hours of sleep for the last three days. Do you mind—”
“Not at all,” I said, interrupting. “The hotel sounds great.”
“Thank you.” The relief in his voice caused me to inspect his appearance closer. Like everything, he hid exhaustion well, but now I could see the signs in the tightness around his eyes and the subtle slouch to his shoulders.
When we reached his suite, I wordlessly followed him into his room, kicked of my shoes, and crawled into bed next to him. My own lack of sleep had hit me on the short drive to the hotel, and nothing sounded better in that moment than lying next to Knox.
Using his chest as my pillow, I listened to the cadence of his heartbeat, and matching my own breaths to his, I let sleep overtake me.
* * *
I awoke slowly, my eyes blinking rapidly, only barely recognizing what I was seeing in the dim light. Gray walls. Heavy beige curtains. White sheets. Vivid green eyes. Okay, those I would recognize anywhere.
I squeezed mine tight and asked around a yawn, “Are you watching me sleep?”
“Not anymore.”
“It's kind of weird.”
“Would it help if I told you I woke up only a few minutes ago?”
I stretched languidly before re-opening my eyes and focusing on Knox. “Depends. Is it true?”
“No.”
I smiled in spite of myself. “Then, I guess it wouldn’t help.”
“What if I told you I didn’t want to waste my precious time with you by sleeping?”
There was a seductive lilt to his voice that I wasn’t used to, and I found it incredibly appealing. Just like everything about him. His rugged features, softened by the crease in his cheek from where it had been pressed into the pillow. One lock of mussed hair hanging in his face. The perfect amount of scruff that always made me long to reach out and stroke it.
“I might say that I agree.” I fused my mouth to his warm, supple lips and laughed when a muscular arm curled around my waist and tugged me against him.
Peering up into his smiling face, I wondered for the thousandth time what I’d done to deserve such a man. Protective and strong. Rough and tender. Unbelievably good looking and kind. Knox was everything I’d dreamed of and so much more.
He trailed a finger across my forehead, down my cheek, and cradled my jaw. “I love you.”
Heart thundering, I stared at him. Not allowing me time to form a response, he brushed his lips over mine. His kiss was lazy, and I sighed against his mouth. We had nowhere to be, nothing we needed to do. His hand traveled down my side, and goosebumps broke out on my skin, every cell in my body waking up to take notice.
Maybe he felt the change, or maybe I felt it in him—it really didn’t matter—because his sweet, lazy kiss changed to a feverish claiming. His mouth was on mine, hard and demanding. My sighs changed, and soon I was making sounds I’d never heard myself make.
I threaded my fingers through his hair and plastered myself against him, desperately seeking a way to draw even closer. Whatever was happening here, I wanted it. Actually, want might not even be a strong enough word.
He rolled me on top of him, and I couldn’t seem to stop my hips from rocking as he intensified the kiss. Gripping my waist, he slowed my movements and gently thrust his own hips, pushing against my most sensitive area, even through our clothes.
His groan was low and hoarse. “You’ve got to stop doing that.”
I sat back until I was looking down on him. “I don’t want to.” I spoke the words without thinking, but I instantly knew they were true. “I love you, Knox, and . . . I don’t want to stop.”
His body stiffened below mine, and his chest heaved as he inhaled deeply, then blew out a heavy breath. He hesitated for so long, my mind flashed with the possible repercussions of this decision. No, I thought, shoving my fears aside. I couldn’t overthink every moment of my life, and I knew I would never regret this one.
Making what appeared to be a snap decision, his hands slid up my sides and lifted my top over my head. The cool air hitting my skin was in sharp contrast to the heat traveling through my body from Knox’s gaze alone. He watc
hed me, not moving. What was he looking for? Whatever it was, he must have found his answer.
With swift fingers, he unclasped my bra and flung it to the floor. More goosebumps covered my skin as his gaze washed over me, worshipful and intense. “You are so beautiful. Perfect.”
He cupped my breasts, and the rough pads of his fingertips brushing over my sensitive nipples created a delicious friction that had me gasping with desire. I was hot, everywhere.
“Does that feel good?” he whispered, and I nodded, words failing me.
I leaned down to kiss him, but before my mouth reached his, he flipped our positions so I was underneath him, my hair splayed over the pillow.
Knox grinned, unabashedly proud of himself. “That’s more like it.” He unzipped my jeans before sliding them down my legs. Left in only a pair of boyshorts, I felt exposed as his gaze roamed over my bare skin. He hadn’t even touched me yet, and I’d never felt more beautiful.
He chucked his own shirt and jeans, and I attempted—and failed—to remain calm when I got my first glimpse of his tented boxer briefs. His entire body exuded power, something I normally didn’t find intimidating. But, imagining how he’d be putting all that masculine strength to use had my brain short circuiting.
Crawling toward me, he peppered my calves and thighs with kisses, his stubble scraping deliciously against my skin. Dampness pooled between my legs, and when he reached the edges of my panties, I squirmed, desire warring with embarrassment from how wet I already was.
Knox didn’t linger. He drew in a sharp breath, his nostrils flaring for a second before his gaze met mine again. With a slight shake of his head, he took my nipple in his mouth, sucking hard. My hips bucked under him.
“I want this to be good for you,” he breathed out, pausing to look down at me. “Tell me what you like.”
I shuddered from the pleasure of it all. Knox’s almost-naked body poised above me. His gravelly voice with a new, raw edge to it. His hands and mouth touching me all over and somehow still nowhere near enough.
“Everything.”
Smoothing my palms over his torso, I finally allowed myself to explore every ridge and valley of his sculpted abs. One hand drifted up to his shoulder, and I traced the lines of his griffin tattoo as my other hand wandered toward his waist.
He grunted and drew back, his gaze resting on my panties and his hands hovering near my hips. In a quiet, sober tone, he asked, “Are you sure?”
I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat. “I’m sure.”
He slid the scrap of material down my legs and tossed it aside, then removed his boxers. My breath hitched at the sight of him hard and ready and so freaking hot it almost hurt to look at him.
Before I had time to really absorb the masterpiece that was Knox Bennett, he was back to touching me. His lips trailed up the column of my throat, and a finger slipped inside me. My eyes slammed shut, the sensations overwhelming. He found my most sensitive spot and used his fingers to create a rhythm that pulsed through me to my core.
His head fell against my shoulder. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”
He added a second finger and increased his pace, making it impossible for me to respond with anything but moans. Time ceased to have meaning, and in a matter of seconds—or maybe it was hours—I surrendered, my body quivering and nails digging into his back.
When I finally opened my eyes, Knox was positioned at my entrance. He kissed the top of my nose. “I’m sorry this is going to hurt, sweetheart.”
“It’s okay. I’m ready.”
He eased inside me, and as much as I wanted this, my body tensed. Meeting resistance, he paused, the muscles in his neck clenching. I touched the side of his face, nodding at him to continue, and he swiftly thrust all the way in. I bit back a cry of pain while Knox whispered I love yous and planted sweet kisses on my forehead, nose, cheeks, eyelids.
The pain ebbed quicker than I expected, until all I felt was strong arms, smooth skin, and exquisite caresses. Even though I hadn’t done this before, it seemed natural to wrap my legs around his waist and pull his head and lips down to meet mine. I needed him to be so close that, for a moment, we were one, not two.
He groaned into my mouth and started moving, his control slipping as I urged him to take me faster, harder. Each rub of his shaft pressed against that pleasure spot again, making me cry out. I bit down on his shoulder, and he growled, lifting my hips from behind to press us even closer together.
“Sweetheart.” I wasn’t sure what else he would have said, because with one last thrust, I shattered around him. Stars crossed into my vision, replaced by colors. There was only Knox, there was only this.
With a whisper of my name, Knox followed me into oblivion. He collapsed on top of me, and I reveled in the weight of him, in the fact that we were still as connected as two people could be.
Once our pants faded to soft breaths, he rolled to the side and tucked me against him. In the afterglow of our lovemaking, I felt happy and cherished, my body sore in the most satisfying way imaginable. Maybe it hadn’t hit me yet, but I didn’t even feel awkward lying naked in his arms while his fingers glided through my hair.
As utterly content as I was in that moment, it still didn’t take long for thoughts of the others to creep in. An unerring truth had cemented itself in my mind and heart in the last two days, and I couldn’t deny it any longer. I was in love with Knox, Chase, Theo, Liam, and Jackson. If I thought I’d ever be able to give any of them up without crushing my soul, what I’d just done with Knox proved I was dead wrong.
Tears filled my eyes, and when one fell on his chest, I inwardly cursed.
He tilted my head toward him. “What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”
I sniffed. “No.”
“Then what? Tell me.”
The tenderness in his voice erased the sting of the command, and I sucked in a ragged breath, trying to get ahold of my emotions. The last thing I wanted was for Knox to think I was upset about giving myself to him. Nothing could be further from the truth. The love and security I found with him made me feel incredible. Whole.
“I don’t know how to love all of you and survive losing any of you.” More tears fell as I spoke, hating to give the words power by saying them aloud.
“It’s okay.” He swiped at my wet cheeks and kissed me with the softest of touches. “We don’t want you to choose.”
It didn’t sink in at first, and then I realized what he was saying. “I know you said that everyone is okay with the way things are, but eventually . . . I mean, we can’t go on like this forever.”
“Actually, I believe we can.” He smoothed a lock of my hair, tucking it behind my ear. “We want you to choose all of us. Permanently.”
My mouth opened, then I snapped it shut, words failing me once again. Was I hearing things, or did he really say that the guys wanted me to be with all five of them? As in, forever?
I studied his face for signs of humor, but I knew I wouldn’t find any. He would never tease me about something so life-altering. Still, how could I take his statement at face value? It was impossible . . . wasn’t it?
Knox returned to running his fingers through my hair. “We’ll talk about it more later. For now, can you be happy knowing that we’re yours and you’re our everything?” His emerald eyes had never looked so affectionate and comforting.
I nodded and snuggled into his side, choosing to believe, at least for the moment, that wishes did come true. That the impossible was, in fact, possible.
Epilogue: The Loft
Chase
I leaned against the wall outside my bedroom, observing the chaos downstairs in the kitchen with a smile. Liam, wearing one of his infamous “sexy cook” aprons, barked instructions at Theo while Knox watched on, not lifting a finger. Haley was taking a break from her task to check on Jackson, who reclined lazily on the couch at her insistence. I never thought I’d see the day when Jackson Hart would allow himself to be ordered around by anyone, much less a wom
an. Noticing how he smiled up at Haley and snuck a kiss, that day had arrived.
Theo shouted a non-curse when a pot of water boiled over, and Liam shoved him out of the way, mumbling something along the lines of “incompetent idiot.” Penny started chasing her tail in the middle of the kitchen, nearly knocking Theo off his feet. And, still, Knox watched on without moving a muscle to help.
It was shaping up to be the best Thanksgiving ever.
As much as I enjoyed spending the day with Gran or even at Patrick’s house, this year felt special. Maybe it was because the six of us understood how much we had to be thankful for. Haley was back in our lives for good. Douglas was out of the picture. Jackson was expected to make a full recovery after being shot. We finally knew who was behind the mysterious incidents at Zenith. Mr. Jones was safely hidden away. And, the team had even reached a fragile truce with Ethan.
When he’d pulled me aside after dropping the bomb about his involvement with The Elites, I didn’t know what to say. But, as it turned out, I didn’t have to say anything. He’d done all the talking.
“Chase, I need to apologize. You’ve always been there for me, and, more than anything, I regret how I treated you. Deep down, I knew I was making the wrong decision, and you would have been the first one to call me on it. I wasn’t in a place to hear it, so I pushed you away.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen with my job, or hell, my life, but I hope someday we can be friends again. I know it’ll never be the same, but I can’t stand the thought of losing your friendship on top of everything else.”
He walked away without giving me a chance to respond, calling over his shoulder, “If anyone deserves Haley, it’s you. Good luck.”
Not so long ago, his parting words may have urged me to betray the others and try to steal her for myself once and for all. Despite agreeing to what I’d deemed an insane idea from the beginning, I never believed it could actually work. Or that I’d want it to.
That day in my bedroom, everything changed. Hearing Haley confess I wasn’t the only one she loved didn’t devastate me like I expected. Instead, it unlocked something I hadn’t even admitted was sealed up tight—my genuine acceptance of the plan to share her.
