Sarah Love

by Geraldine O'Neill

  “I would turn it down quite easily.”

  Sarah felt the sherry had made her more relaxed, and even though the occasion was more formal than anything she had experienced before, she found she was actually enjoying herself. But even in the midst of all the glamour and excitement of the night, work was never far from her mind. As various females passed by their table, Sarah took in all the small details that made certain ball gowns stand out from the others. She made mental notes about the materials that sat well and the unusual diamante and lace finishes on necklines and cuffs, and the sorts of stoles and bags that made an outfit stand out.

  She was discreetly studying a girl with a shiny black, twenties-style short bob who was wearing a green velvet Flapper-style dress when Vivienne leaned across the table and whispered. “Don’t look now, but here they come again.”

  The doctors handed round the tray of drinks and then Ben sat in the chair beside Vivienne and James Ryder sat next to Sarah.

  “So,” James said, “how do you find Newcastle?”

  “Grand. It’s a nice city – I like it very much.”

  “Is it very different to where you come from in Ireland?”

  “Very. I’m from a small country town about fifty miles from Dublin.” Then, to deflect any further questions about herself, she asked. “Where are you from originally?”

  “Just outside Manchester.” He gave her a beaming smile. “Out in the country too, so we have something in common. In fact, my grandfather has a farm there.”

  Sarah took a drink from the full glass of sherry. “I grew up on a small farm. My brother and his wife have it now.”

  “And what about your parents?”

  “They’re both dead . . .” As she said it, she felt a catch in her chest and wished she had said nothing.

  He looked surprised. “How awful for you! When did they die?”

  There was nothing she could do now. “My mother died when I was thirteen and my father died nearly two years ago.”

  All eyes on the table suddenly turned towards her.

  “Oh, Sarah!” Anna said. “I didn’t realise . . .”

  Vivienne leaned across the table and put her hand on top of hers. “I’m so sorry . . .”

  “It doesn’t matter now, I’m used to it,” Sarah said, starting to blush with all the attention. She was furious with herself for having got into the conversation with the doctor that had led to her private life being discussed in front of everyone. She gently moved her hand from under Vivienne’s and lifted her glass and took another sip. “I wonder when the others will arrive.”

  “They’re always late! They’ve probably stopped to chat with people at work or maybe even out in the hotel foyer,” Anna said, laughing.

  A short while later Elizabeth and Jane came pushing their way through the crowds to get to their table. After all the introductory chat was over and everyone said how lovely everyone else looked in their evening wear, both girls immediately turned to Sarah.

  “Where did you get the fabulous dress?” Elizabeth asked.

  “I made it,” Sarah said in a low voice, not wishing to be the centre of attention again.

  “Did you bring it over from Ireland?”

  Sarah shook her head. “I made it this week.”

  “But you were working on curtains the last time I saw you at the sewing machine,” said Jane.

  “I finished them on Wednesday, and then I started on the dress.”

  “You made it in three days?” Jane gasped.

  Elizabeth studied her in amazement. “You’re a dark horse. We’d no idea you were upstairs in your room making such a glamorous outfit.”

  “It was easy enough,” Sarah said. She held up one end of her stole. “And this was only a matter of hemming and then putting the beads on the ends of it. I did it in a couple of hours.” Whilst she found being the focus of any conversation difficult enough, it was preferable to talk about her work rather than herself.

  “What else don’t we know about you?” Vivienne asked.

  “You sound a very intriguing lady indeed,” James said. He glanced across at his doctor friend. “A little bit of mystery certainly keep things interesting, doesn’t it?”

  Sarah rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I can assure you there’s nothing very interesting or mysterious about me.”

  The gong sounded and then the head waiter requested that all the ladies and gentlemen to please make their way into the dining room.

  Ben stood up first. “Drink up, everyone,” he said, and downed his glass in one. Sarah’s four flatmates and James Ryder followed suit, so she lifted her glass and drank the remainder of her sherry. It was more alcohol than she was used to drinking in such short space of time, but she didn’t want to stand out from the others. Her work and her background made her different enough.

  Tonight she would do her best to fit in with the girls. Jane had been kind enough to buy her the ticket, and Vivienne had done everything possible to make up for their row. And, it was New Year’s Night.

  Vivienne leaned in close to Sarah as they moved towards the dining-room. “Unfortunately we’re at an all-girls table. Our table places were fixed in advance, so we won’t be able to sit beside our attentive friends.”

  Sarah looked up at her, wondering why Vivienne was explaining this to her. “I’m perfectly happy sitting with the girls.”

  Vivienne raised her eyebrows. “We’ll watch where they sit and make sure we catch up with them when the meal is over.”

  Sarah wrinkled her brow and laughed. Vivienne must be very keen on the two doctors and was presuming she felt the same. Did her housemate imagine that she was the kind of girl who latched on to a fellow within an hour of meeting him? Did the other girls think the same? She decided she would give the doctors a wide berth for the rest of the evening.

  The dining room was spectacular with each of the circular tables decorated in a white and purple theme. Heavy silver candlesticks towered over each one, and around the base of the candlesticks were vases filled with white flowers. Bottles of red and white wine rested in silver buckets on each table, and the waiters moved between them smartly dressed with cummerbunds and matching bow-ties.

  Sarah didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed when she recognised the menu as being fairly similar to what would have been served back in the hotel in Tullamore – melon or soup to start and a choice between turkey, steak or a fish dish. She supposed that it was better to be presented with familiar food on her first proper night out in Newcastle. After her first glass of white wine, she found she was relaxed about everything including Vivienne and the doctors.

  The two girls who had been working in the hospital that night started telling them about a Peeping Tom who had been spotted looking in through the window of a ground ward. Two of the male nurses had chased him out of the area where the buildings were, but lost him in the darkness of the grounds. A few days previously, some of the female nurses mentioned that they felt there was someone lurking around outside, but this was the first proper sighting of him.

  “It’s bloody disgraceful,” Vivienne stated, “that we can’t go about our work without having to worry about being watched by some pervert.”

  “Matron sent a note around to say that the female staff should only go outside in twos,” Jane said, “and that we should keep the ward curtains closed when it gets dark.”

  “Piffle!” Elizabeth said. “We often have to go from a ward in one building to a ward in another, and when we’re short-staffed we don’t have time to go and look for a partner to walk over with.”

  After the meal the tables were cleared and the band came onto the stage to sort out their instruments for the dance session. The girls went in groups to the ladies’ to touch up their make-up and Sarah was delighted when Jane linked arms with her as they walked along.

  “I’m so glad you came to live in the house with us,” Jane said, as they applied fresh lipstick. “And I think that little run-in you had with Vivienne did us
all a favour. She’s been a different person since then, and is more inclined to think before she speaks.”

  “I’m glad it’s sorted too,” Sarah said. She still regarded the medical student’s outburst as more than “a little run-in” but given that it was New Year’s Eve, she said nothing more.

  When they came back into the hall there was a group of four young men standing by their table chatting to the other three girls.

  “Vivienne will be delighted,” Jane laughed. “She told me that she plans to find herself a husband tonight.”

  “You’re joking!”

  “I’m not. She reckons that most of her friends back home are already married and she feels it’s about time she met someone.” She slowed down a little. “You know she was engaged before, don’t you?”

  “No,” Sarah said, “I didn’t.”

  “It was before she came to Newcastle – a friend of the family. They’d been going out since she was fifteen. They used to write to each other at boarding school – that kind of thing.”

  “What happened?”

  “She got bored. She said she was too young, and couldn’t bear the thought of only being allowed to kiss one man for the rest of her life.” Jane giggled now. “So I think she’s trying a few out before settling down.”

  “At least she was honest. It was better that she realised sooner than later. It must be awful to be married to someone you don’t love.” Sarah wondered now if she had really loved Con.

  “Her fiancé didn’t waste any time. He met someone else fairly quickly and was married within a year. I believe they have a baby.” She tightened her grip on Sarah’s arm. “Look at her now, all over those fellows. There are times when I wonder if she regrets her broken engagement and is afraid of being left on the shelf.”

  “I don’t think there’s any fear of that,” Sarah said. “She seems to be getting plenty of attention from the men tonight, and anyway, she’s still only in her twenties.”

  By the time they got to their seats the band was striking up for the first waltz. Sarah had just sat down when James Ryder appeared behind her.

  “Miss Love,” he said, holding his hand out, “might we have the first dance together?”

  As they moved onto the floor he bent to speak in her ear. “I should tell you that you’ve made a big hit here tonight.” He laughed. “I had to move quickly or someone would have got to you first.”

  Sarah laughed but said nothing. As they circled the floor together, she was conscious of his hand on her waist, and she was suddenly reminded of herself and Con Tierney dancing together. The difference was that the young English doctor was holding her in a respectful manner, whereas Con – when he had a drink in him – had often gripped her too tightly and pulled her in frighteningly close.

  It seemed such a long time ago. Con felt like a stranger from a faraway place she hardly remembered. As she moved amongst the other elegantly dressed dancers she couldn’t even picture his face any more. Tonight, the people in this glittering ballroom were much more real to her, and she realised she was becoming more part of things. She felt comfortable on a night out with the girls from the house. She felt comfortable in her stunning dress. She felt as good as anyone else here tonight.

  When the dance finished, Sarah had barely sat back down at the table when she was taken up for the next dance with someone from a table nearby. After that, she was asked up by Dr Livingstone.

  The first part of the night flew in and Sarah was glad when the break came so she could relax at the table and rest her feet for a while. The girls were all in high spirits, drinking wine and giggling and laughing about who they had danced with.

  Vivienne leaned back in her chair to check that no one apart from those at the table could hear, and then suddenly threw herself forward. “I’m in love!” she said in a loud whisper. “I’ve met the man of my dreams.”

  “Who?” the girls all asked together.

  She took a gulp from her glass of wine. “Dr Livingstone – he’s perfect! Absolutely perfect. Even my parents would love him.”

  “But you hardly know him!” Anna giggled.

  “I know all I need to know,” Vivienne said, pushing her dark hair back from her face. “And I have to make a good impression on him tonight or I might miss my chance.” She turned to Sarah. “I need your help. Apparently James Ryder is besotted by you and your lovely blonde hair. They’re best friends and it would be easier if the four of us were together.”

  “Sorry – not interested!” Sarah laughed and put her hands over her ears.

  “But Dr Ryder is lovely!” Anna said.

  Sarah shook her head. “I have no interest in any men. Men are off my list for the next few years.”

  “Years?” Elizabeth gasped. “Surely you don’t mean that long?”

  Sarah nodded vigorously. “I do mean it!”

  Vivienne leaned across to move Sarah’s hands down. “I have a plan,” she said. “You only have to be nice to him for a little while. Just enough time to let me get chatting properly to Ben.” She put her hands together as though in prayer. “Please!”

  Sarah suddenly felt very hot. She lifted her wineglass and took a long drink from it. “If he comes over and asks me to dance I won’t be rude, but I’m not going over to hang around their table or anything like that.”

  “Spoken like a woman who knows her own mind!” Jane held her glass up in a toast.

  Vivienne held her glass out in agreement and then downed the remainder of her red wine in one go.

  “I do know my own mind these days, but I had to learn the hard way . . .” Sarah felt a sudden compulsion to explain herself. “I was due to be married when I moved to Newcastle. I had the wedding booked, the dress made . . . everything.” She looked around her and saw the other girls were staring at her in shock.

  “My God, Sarah!” Anna’s gasped. “Are you joking?”

  “You know I’m not the sort of person to make jokes like that.” Sarah could hear herself saying the words, but in a strange way it seemed as though someone else was speaking on her behalf. She looked down at her glass, realising she had said too much. “Anyway, it’s all water under the bridge.”

  “You can’t leave it like that,” Anna said. “Tell us more.”

  “Do you regret it?” Vivienne asked.

  Sarah shrugged, wishing they would change the subject. “I don’t regret my decision not to get married. I know I did the right thing.”

  “So, you as good as jilted him?” Vivienne said.

  “You walked out on him just a week or so before the wedding?” Jane sounded shocked. “You cancelled everything?”

  Sarah cursed herself for letting her guard down – she had no option now but to explain. “Yes, I did. But I was betrayed in a very big way and he deserved it.”

  “Who deserved it?” an amused male voice interjected.

  When they turned around Doctors Ryder and Livingstone were standing there with a waiter with a tray of cocktails for the girls.

  “What’s in them?” Anna asked.

  “It’s a surprise!” Ben Livingstone said. “Each cocktail is different, and you must drink the one the waiter places in front of you.”

  The girls all giggled and laughed as they were each given a drink, and Vivienne patted the empty chair beside her and told Ben to sit down. Although there were a couple of empty chairs, James Ryder stood to the side of Sarah’s chair so he could talk to her. Eventually, Jane – who was seated next to her – moved her chair further along, to allow him to drag in a spare one.

  Sarah sipped the cocktail through her straw. “This is lovely!” she said, sounding highly surprised. She had been wary of it, having already drunk so much, and was delighted that it seemed a harmless, sweet, fruity drink. She felt the wine was having some effect on her, so was happy to switch to a less potent drink.

  The other girls took sips of their cocktails. Elizabeth spluttered when she was drinking hers, and everyone started laughing. Sarah laughed along with them, so muc
h that she lost her breath and ended up red-faced and giggly.

  The band came back on and the dancing re-commenced, and then, after what seemed like no time at all – the band-leader was telling everyone to go back to their tables for their glasses to toast in the New Year.

  As she made her way through back to the table, Sarah caught herself stumbling a few times and had to really concentrate on what she was doing. All the other girls were grabbing tall glasses of sparkling wine which had been placed on each table for the midnight toast, so she did likewise. As she lifted her glass, the wine splashed out on to the tablecloth and she was relieved that it was white and not red and wouldn’t stain it. The same happened when the other girls lifted their over-full glasses but nobody seemed concerned.

  “Everyone take a big drink from your glass!” Vivienne instructed, lifting a half-full bottle from the ice bucket.

  Without question, Sarah took a gulp of the sweet bubbly drink, and thought it tasted lovely. Then, Vivienne went around the table filling everyone’s glass up to the top again. As she moved along, she caught her leg on the chain of an evening bag which was under a chair, and stumbled forward onto the table, spilling the wine everywhere.

  “Oh, bugger!!” she said, using both hands to lever herself back into a standing position. After a few seconds steadying herself, she lifted the bottle up to the light and said, “Thankfully, I didn’t lose it all!” She then proceeded to lift the bottle to her lips and in a few mouthfuls she had drained it.

  Sarah watched the scene with a strangely detached amusement and at the back of her mind noted that the other girls didn’t seem to find anything unusual about Vivienne falling across a table. She wondered that she had ever thought doctors were something special. They were the same as anyone else when they were out enjoying themselves. It was just that they did it in grander surroundings.

  When everyone got into circles for the midnight countdown, Sarah was surprised to find herself holding hands with Ben Livingstone on one side and James Ryder on the other. She couldn’t remember them coming back to join the girls. She shrugged and joined in with everyone else as they counted down the seconds to midnight, and then, as the start of the New Year was declared, they all cheered and crossed hands with the person next to them and started to sing “Auld Lang Syne”.